by Jana Downs
“We can’t exactly break up, can we? Because now I’m freaking mated to you for the rest of your life. Fuck! We had a good thing going, and you went and fucked it up!” He turned around finally, and his golden eyes glowed with resentment.
“Why does it have to be fucked-up? It’s just moving a little faster than we’d originally planned. I mean, we were getting serious, weren’t we? Where the hell did you think it would eventually lead to?” Damian was getting annoyed now. Allasandro loved him, and he was being stubborn.
“Oh, I don’t know. I was winging it!” Ally snapped. “I at least expected a little time. A year or two. Some more dates. A proposal. Anything! Instead, I get fucked awake and a bomb dropped on my head. What the hell, Damian? Is that your idea of breaking it to me gently? And exactly when were you planning on telling me, anyways? I’d been feeling the weakness for weeks. So don’t tell me that you didn’t know beforehand.”
“I didn’t want to ruin us,” Damian said. He looked away. Anywhere but Allasandro. He didn’t want him to see the tears that were threatening to fall. He hated to cry. Hadn’t cried since Kalel had been taken away from them. Well…with the exception of the other night with Alex. Shit. He was turning into a real head case. “We were happy. And you’d just started talking to me again. And I wanted to get a little more stable in us before I told you what I’d done.”
“More stable? Are you kidding me? And when would that be? A year? Ten years? A hundred years?”
“I didn’t want—”
“You didn’t want what? What the hell didn’t you want? Huh? Tell me!”
“I didn’t want you to leave me!” Damian shouted. Allasandro fell silent.
Damian rolled to his feet, not bothering to cover his body, and stalked toward the bathroom. He put his hand on the doorframe and half turned toward the Ravyn. “Everything I’ve ever cared about has been taken from me in one form or another. My family. My first love. My best friend. My son. Everything. I just…I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, too. So I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I did it without asking. And I’m sorry that you had to find out the way you did.” His voice cracked, but he cleared his throat and motioned toward the nightstand. “The keys to my car are there. Car is in the garage to the left of the house. We’re a little ways outside Haven. Use the GPS to get you back to Alex’s. It should already be programmed. I’ll come to you when you need my blood and give it to you. Don’t worry about the charity performance tomorrow. I’m not going.” He sucked in a breath, stood up straight, and walked through the bathroom door. “Take care of yourself, Ravyn.” He didn’t give Ally a chance to reply. He shut the door and turned the lock.
He managed to take two steps before he slid to the tiled floor, clutching his stomach with one hand and smothering his sobs with the other. He’d fucked up. And there was no going back.
Chapter Twenty
A mood of melancholy and silence fell over the Ravyns and their Prince like a death shroud at a funeral. Weeks dredged on with no end in sight. The joy and good-natured laughter they’d all come to rely on in Allasandro had faded as soon as he’d stepped back into the house after his final night with Damian. It seemed like the entire house was infected with his bad mood. Tempers were short. Fights broke out regularly. The reunification of the bond they’d shared was a pale echo of what it had been. And there was nothing Salvatore could do to fix it.
“What a mess,” the Demon Prince murmured, staring down at his ledger which held the proposal for the new jewelry and fine gem emporium that Alex’s friend had proposed to him weeks ago. Salvatore hadn’t managed to get past page one.
He glanced around his study and saw all the objects of his contentment. Volumes of books lined the built-in cherry oak shelves that covered subjects on everything from biology to dime-store romance. It was his biggest indulgence since coming to Earth. In Demontia, he’d never been able to get a hold of so many books because they never had the room nor the ability to store them.
In Alex’s house, the Ravyns had made a home and each of them was able to carve out a little space just for themselves. Tony found his contentment by turning his room into a Zen paradise, complete with a small water feature and candles of every scent imaginable. Druas had made his room into a jungle of ferns, small palms, orchids, and all sorts of other tropical plants. Germany had turned his space into a techie’s paradise, converting his poetry and diaries into digital formats in his spare time. Even Dageus made Alex’s bedroom into a personal haven of sorts by filling it with family pictures and soothing white décor. They had their comforts. Salvatore had his books. He looked for the answers to be written on their lovely spines.
The boys were out training. More like beating each other up in frustration, but Salvatore allowed it. They needed a little release. His eyes lit on the statue of Judgment, the sort of spirit guide of the Ravyns which was housed in a statue of a raven perched on a large uncut hunk of marble.
“I’m not sure what to do, old friend,” he addressed the raven.
They are very discontent again. Ruffled. Their humor has fled, Judgment spoke to his mind. He was unsurprised at the Prince’s address.
“It’s more than that. It’s their happiness as well.”
This is an in-between time for them. Allasandro is fighting his destiny and, as such, is trapped in limbo. They are trapped with him in this unhappy place, the statue said sagely.
Salvatore sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “I don’t know what to do to change it.” He paused and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I never thought we’d have this problem with Ally. I always expected he’d settle with a woman eventually.”
Dageus has changed them all, Judgment cautioned. The habits of centuries are changing with Dageus’s choice and preference.
“Are you saying my Ravyns are now attracted to men?” Salvatore asked incredulously.
I’m saying their destinies are not so clear-cut and determinable anymore. It was not their original preference to enjoy women to begin with. That habit they picked up from you somewhere along the way. Because they are your Ravyns, they changed to suit your tastes. They will not be content with just being your Ravyns forever. The time for their rest is coming.
Salvatore considered the words. If that were true, then the conflict with his cousin was nearing its conclusion for good or ill. They would be seeking their own separate happinesses when that time came. They would need a purpose after their current one was served.
Your words will guide and encourage them, Prince Salvatore. The answer to your dilemma lies in the course which you decide to take and support. Just as you encouraged the happiness of Dageus with his chosen, so must you encourage your other Ravyns with their own.
“Thank you for your guidance,” Salvatore said politely, his mind churning with possibilities. “I think I have an idea.”
Good. I knew you would. Judgment paused as if considering his next words. Your father would be proud of you, Salvatore. Your guidance of the Ravyns has kept them on the right path. Continue your way, and all will be well.
Salvatore hoped so. He picked up his cell phone and dialed.
* * * *
“Come in,” Allasandro called. He was already reclined on top of his bedspread, shirtless. His body thrummed in anticipation even as his mind resented every sensation he was experiencing. He used to revel in this.
Damian appeared at his right side in a pair of low-slung slacks and nothing else. “I felt your hunger.”
“I’m hungry,” Ally agreed in a clipped tone. Damian pressed the blade to his own throat and nicked the side of it.
“Take from me.”
Ally didn’t really wait for the invitation. Instead, he just latched onto the cut like a starving…well, vampire. He couldn’t help the moan that came from deep in his throat as the first brush of Damian’s mind on his sent him into a frenzy. He pulled on Damian’s shoulders until the vampire indulged him and pressed his body, head to toe, on top of Ally.
They’d done this so often lately that the slide into one another’s mind was no longer a true transition but instead was as easy as stepping through a doorway into the other’s soul. Ally’s powers had multiplied exponentially and so their mind bond went deeper than even Dageus and Alex’s. Ally knew this because one of his newfound powers was the ability to sense the connections, see them like physical cords, intertwining and connecting to the world.
“Hmmm…” Damian groaned as they mingled. He pressed the ridge of his very prominent erection against Ally’s stomach and the Ravyn felt the feral satisfaction of knowing that Damian had not sought release, not even with himself, since he’d banished him from his bed.
“You’re being cruel, love,” Damian said, catching the stray thought as it crossed Ally’s mind. He pressed himself tighter against Ally’s body, seeking the friction. Dry-humping him like the bad dog he was. Ally didn’t resist the impulse to score his broad shoulders with his blunted fingernails.
Cruelty has many forms, Ally sent through their bond. The vampire shuddered at the intimate touch. Invisible hands came up to caress the vampire through his clothes. Like that? Ally asked darkly. It was a new trick he’d learned, one he enjoyed thoroughly. He kneaded Damian’s tight ass with his mind.
“You know I do.” Damian hissed through gritted teeth. Ally gave the cut on Damian’s neck one last lick before settling back against the pillows.
“Take from me,” Ally offered. Damian leaned in to nibble his neck, but Ally pushed him back. “My wrist.” Damian’s eyes clouded with sorrow, and Ally knew he’d hurt him once again with his denial of any intimacy between them. But like the dog he’d compared him to moments before, Damian took the sliver of shared contentment with gratitude. He bit into the bit of flesh Ally offered and closed his eyes, nursing softly.
It was Ally’s turn to shudder. Being with Damian always felt incredible. He looked at his dark head bent over his hand and felt his heart constrict. He missed the easiness that was gone between them. He missed it fiercely. He sighed and petted Damian’s head as he sucked, reasoning that it was for his enjoyment, not Damian’s, that he did so.
I miss us, too, Damian murmured, his voice faint in his mind from ill use.
“Stay out of my head, Damian. Finish feeding and get out.” Ally tried to make his voice as harsh as he had in all the days since he’d found out that they were bound, but, oddly enough, the more they did this, the more he learned Damian from the inside out, the less anger he had to use against him.
Damian lapped the wound closed. “As you wish.” He pushed himself to his feet and readjusted his hard-on before turning toward the door. Pain radiated off him in angry sick green waves. Damian’s aura was always ten times more visible to Ally than anyone else’s.
“Wait,” Ally called as his hand touched the doorknob. Hope made a bright yellow burst of energy detonate in the midst of all the green.
“Yes?” Damian asked, turning back toward Ally.
“Will you…” He cleared his throat. “Uh…” Damian waited patiently. Their eyes met. “Just once.”
Damian was on him before the last syllable fell from his lips. Ally put his hands up, blocking his kiss as it sought to undo his sanity. He felt the desire to kiss, stroke, and make love in every cell of his body as it came off of Damian in waves of potent heat. It made him shiver in want. The vampire’s hands cupped either side of his face, and he stared into the Ravyn’s pretty gold eyes.
“Don’t,” Ally pleaded. The sadness in his gaze was what stilled Damian.
“You’re still angry with me.” It was a statement.
“Yes,” Ally said simply. “I’m not ready to forgive you yet.”
“Then why am I still here?” Damian wondered. Ally’s hands were holding on to his waist now and it felt fantastic.
“Because you look sad.”
“That’s it? I looked sad? I don’t need your pity, Allasandro.” Damian’s voice had gone deeper with anger.
“A kiss,” Ally stated. “I want a kiss.”
Damian leaned forward, offering him his lips. “You need only ask.”
Their lips met in a kiss. It was soft, full of the sorrow and yearning. Damian nibbled on the Ravyn’s lips. These touches were the ones he missed the most. Ally clutched him tight as the kiss deepened and their tongues danced. They put everything that neither of them had the strength to say into that kiss. For once, words didn’t matter.
Endless moments later they pulled back from their kiss, both of them panting hard. Damian rested his forehead against his lover’s and tried to regain his breath.
“You should go.” The words were soft. The vampire nodded. He knew. There was too much between them to just let it all go even with a great kiss.
“All right,” Damian replied. He pressed another kiss to Ally’s forehead. “Does this mean I have a chance?” A lot rode on that question.
“It means that I’ll think about it,” Allasandro allowed. Damian smiled for the first time in weeks. Without a word, he disappeared back to his penthouse apartment.
Ally rolled over and put his face into the soft down comforter. He wanted to believe in Damian. He wanted to believe in their relationship. He wanted to believe in forever. If he only had something to compare this to. He had never been in a romantic long-term relationship, and since Damian’s unexpected betrayal had cut so deep, he didn’t know what to do with himself.
He wanted to punish Damian as much as he wanted to hug him, kiss him, and demand he make everything all better. He punched the pillow above his head, rocking the bed with the force of it. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to feel. Worst of all, he didn’t know how to fix it. He considered for a minute. Maybe he’d go talk to Dageus. He knew about emotional crap. Maybe he’d talk to him tonight. Maybe.
* * * *
“All right boys, I’ve called you all in here for a reason.” Salvatore’s authoritative voice rang out in the meeting space he’d secured in the basement level of the vampires’ house.
“Is there a reason we’re meeting in a basement?” Germany wondered, glancing around the Spartan space. The windowless room was not his favorite setting. Pale gray walls tried their best to look cheery with pictures of bright yellow sunflowers in pretty silver picture frames, but instead the effect kind of reminded him of a doctor’s office. They were all seated around a round table, gray marble-topped, in black swivel chairs. A meeting room in a doctor’s office.
“I wanted some privacy from potential seeing minds. Alex reassures me that this space blocks not only good ears but sharp minds as well,” Salvatore said as a side note. He opened his mouth to continue his prepared speech, only to be interrupted again by Druas.
“So why are the shifters here if we’re worried about privacy?” he asked. His gaze flicked to the two shifters down at the other end of the table. “No offense guys.”
They both shrugged, and Cord answered, “No problem.”
“I’m not concerned about Cord and Michel hearing about our little family problem, because they, too, play a role in this plan of mine. The one I do not want you saying anything to about this meeting is Allasandro.” A flicker of unease filtered through the room. The Ravyns had no secrets from one another. It was one of the most important laws of brotherhood. “I know it’s going to make you all uncomfortable, but bear with me please. It’s for his own good. We’re all aware of the situation with Damian.”
A chorus of growls and curses met the mention of the vampire. Even Dageus scowled. Salvatore waited until they’d quieted to continue. “It is my opinion that our Ally-cat is in love with the vampire, even if he’s fighting very hard against his desire because of Damian’s entrapment.”
“Damn straight he’s fighting it!” Druas grumbled. “I would be fighting it too if some psycho bonded with me and didn’t tell me.”
“That psycho is my father,” Dageus snapped, his eyes flashing green. “Watch your fucking mouth. He loves him and said it wasn’t intentional.”
/>
“That’s bullshit, my brother,” Druas countered. “A controlling jackass is not loving.”
“Don’t talk about Damian that way! If he was a ‘controlling jackass,’ then he wouldn’t be respecting Ally’s wishes to be left the fuck alone as much as possible within their Bride bond. It’s making them both miserable, but he’s respecting his wish.”
“Gods, you think every vampire around has the same good intentions that Alex does.” Tony delivered the jab with a glare. “Damian may not be the best guy for Ally. Besides, he never even liked boys until we came here.”
“You guys are missing the point.” Germany spoke up again, silencing the angry retort that Dageus was about to deliver. “If Ally is in love with him and is staying away for the sake of pride and hurt feelings, then it is our duty as his brothers to help him one way or another. Besides, we all weren’t so keen on Alex whenever Dageus and he started dating. We’re an overprotective bunch, and that’s okay in most situations, but this is a delicate one that needs to be handled with care. Now, shut up and listen to our Prince.” It was probably the most Germany had ever said at one time in any of the Ravyns’ recollections.
Salvatore breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh yes. I think it’s best for us to help Damian and Allasandro get over this particular bump in their relationship so that they can figure out what to do with it in a more reasonable way.” The Ravyns nodded reluctantly. “Here’s what I have in mind…”
Chapter Twenty-One
“I don’t want to go to the theater. Please, don’t make me go,” Ally begged Salvatore as they all got into formation to leave the house. It’d been two days since he’d last seen Damian, and his body was crying out over the loss. The last thing he needed was to go hear him sing and know that he wasn’t his anymore.
“It’s a special performance, Allasandro. You know how much I love La Petite Morte’s performances.” Salvatore adjusted Ally’s skewed tie and lapels. “Besides, you’ll be in the VIP section with me. You won’t even have to talk to him.”