pretend I didn’t hear him and continue hiding myself away
thank him for his inadvertent but direct compliment and continue to blush like a thirteen-year-old girl
borrow some courage from my subconscious and flirt right back.
The old Hannah would have done the first, but when I had an almost two-metre-tall man dressed in a flimsy singlet with arms and shoulders like that, not to mention a smile that made me melt, I had to grab opportunity by the proverbial horns and flirt my heart out. Regardless of if said man was leaving in five months. Especially if said man was leaving.
I glanced up at him, a coy tilt to my lips. ‘Nice of you to notice.’
He grinned wide, two perfect dimples etched into his cheeks. ‘Hard not to. Particularly when you dress in tiny pink bikinis.’
I bumped my hip against him and giggled. ‘Perhaps I should wear it more often.’
He stopped kneading and peered down at me. He narrowed his eyes and his lips curled into a smile. ‘Well aren’t you a little cheeky Miss this afternoon.’
I grinned and lowered my gaze, unable to continue looking at his sexy-as-hell face if I wanted to form coherent sentences. ‘Must be the company.’
He arched a brow and licked his lips. ‘Hmmm. Seems I’m having dinner with sassy Hannah tonight.’
I laughed. ‘Sassy? I like that.’
I watched his hands as he kneaded the dough, and all I could think about was having those hands on me. All over me. He met my eyes—that something always present. A hunger.
The air was buzzing. His gaze questioned me. Dared me.
I kept on kneading. Silence fell between us, but our desire was so damn loud I couldn’t drown it out. I wanted him so bad, I ached. An ache only his lips against mine would satisfy.
Was I willing to throw caution to the wind and go for it? His leaving be damned. And just kiss him. Cross that item right off the list.
He handed me a dish and I popped the dough inside to leave it to sit for half an hour. He did the same. I covered it with cling film and washed my hands. All distractions from the need unfurling in my body like a flower in bloom.
I met his gorgeous green eyes and grinned sheepishly.
He held my gaze, not looking away, not letting me look away either. How could he do that, lasso me with his stare? He’d done it from the first moment I saw him through the windscreen of his car.
He took a step closer, slowly, as though testing the water. I didn’t back away. Hell, I was so damn ready for this, I felt like grabbing his shirt and yanking him towards me. Another step until he was standing close, his body-heat mingling with my own. Face nearer, his lips met mine, a soft quick touch. A short second of space, then he pressed his lips to mine again, firmer, and lingered this time as we breathed each other in.
I backed away, far enough to peer up at that gorgeous face, into those eyes. Our lips met once more, firmer now. He opened my mouth and his tongue found mine, warm and silky. My stomach tugged and tensed with the sensation. I tilted my head so his mouth slanted over mine as I sought more from him. The quietest mewls sounded in my throat, yet it had the power to explode my yearning like a flame to dynamite. I deepened the kiss, tasting, wanting.
I didn’t want to, I really, really didn’t want to, but I dragged myself away from that mouth and body. I couldn’t look at him for a moment, couldn’t trust myself, and yet couldn’t make distance between us. I wanted to scream. And I wanted him so bad, hard, dirty and endlessly, just like in my dream.
My chest was heaving. I traced my finger over my lips; I could still feel him there and I ached for more. We stared at each other, trying to ignore the crackle in the air, the magnetic pull, the deep crushing desire.
He leant closer. I wasn’t going to stop him. Couldn’t. His hands crawled under my shirt, touched the skin of my stomach. Oh that feels so good. My muscles quivered. I sighed as he gripped my waist and pulled me to him. Chest to chest.
Couldn’t stop.
And we were kissing again with fervent lips, breath and tongue. I couldn’t not kiss him. And editor or not, I didn’t give a rats about that double negative. My hands were on his waist, back, arse, and I was pulling him harder to me.
‘Do you know how good you taste?’ he whispered as he nibbled and sucked at my lips.
That tongue and the sweet salty scent of his hair and skin. I wanted more. Needed more. And he gave it, long warm licks against my tongue until I could melt to the floor.
I managed to drag myself away and look up at him.
He smiled so warmly, his eyes bright and cheerful. ‘Hannah,’ he said in his deep, delicious voice.
I grinned and blushed until I had to look away. ‘We better get these pizza’s cooking.’
He laughed. ‘Yes.’
Chapter 30
Bear
I didn’t want to go home yet. I didn’t want to think about Rebecca not being there. And I craved Hannah’s closeness, especially after the kiss we shared before dinner.
‘It’s a beautiful night. I’ve got a blanket in the back of the ute. Why don’t we go sit on the beach? We can count how many falling stars we see.’
She smiled wide. ‘I’d love that. And I promise I don’t feel sick tonight.’
I laughed. ‘Good to know.’
We locked up, jumped in the car and drove to the beach. I grabbed the blanket from the ute and we trampled along the sand closer to the ocean. Hannah looked beautiful under the silvery light of the moon. She was beautiful under any light. I laid out the blanket and we took a seat.
‘I always feel so lucky when I see this ocean. When I smell the salt. Or feel the sand under my feet. This was such a place of wonder when I was a small girl. I loved coming to visit Gran for so many reasons, but mostly because she was so kind and loving to me. But also, because of the beach.’
I smiled as I took in the ocean with its moonlit kissed waves, the slice of glowing moon sitting among the stars in the inky sky. I was seeing the place afresh, through Hannah’s eyes. Not someone who used the ocean to drown out the past, but someone who appreciated it for everything it was right in this moment—picturesque, comforting, and renewing.
‘Gran has given me the greatest gift. I must have done something so right to end up here.’
‘You deserve happiness, Han.’
She looked at me with a whimsy smile. ‘Yeah. I think I’m starting to believe that. It’s amazing what a change of environment can do for one’s mental health.’
‘I’m counting on it.’
She brought her legs up and crossed them under her. ‘What are you escaping from, Bear?’
My jaw tightened and chest squeezed until I understood where she was coming from. She had come here to escape Allister, she assumed I was doing the same. I sighed. ‘You know how Mercy Island holds fun, loving memories for you?’
She nodded.
‘For me it’s the opposite. I don’t know how much Jocey told you about my past.’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t know anything. Except one day she hinted perhaps your parents weren’t so … great.’
I scoffed. What an understatement. ‘My dad may or may not be. I don’t know who he is or where he is. And Mum, well she was an alcoholic. A sarcastic, abusive, nasty alcoholic.’
‘I’m so sorry, Bear. I didn’t know that.’
I shook my head. ‘She made life very tough for me and Bec, to the point where we had to get out on our own. So at fifteen, with Serg’s help, I left school, got my apprenticeship with Johnno and raised Bec on my own.’
Her eyes widened and lips parted. ‘That’s why you’re so close to Bec.’
My heart wrenched thinking of her all the way up in Townsville. ‘It’s only been the two of us for so long.’
‘Hmmm,’ she said, long and sympathetic, as though something was now making sense to her. ‘That’s why you had to leave school?’
‘Yep.’
‘How are you going to be studying Veterinary Science without a high sc
hool certificate?’
‘Serg organised for me to finish school long-distance. It took longer because of work and dealing with Bec, but I finished eventually.’
‘You must have done well.’
I nodded. ‘School always came easy for me.’
‘So … um, your Mum attracted men like Allister?’
My stomach clenched. ‘Ah. Yeah. Substance abusers. Trigger happy with their fists.’ But I didn’t want to talk about that. Not yet. She didn’t need to know how dark and deep it got. I stood and wiped the sand from my shorts. I held out my arms to her. ‘Let’s go dip our toes in.’
She smiled up at me and grabbed my hands. I helped her up and we tramped along the cool powdery sand to the ocean. Waves lapped at our feet. The water was refreshing, yet still held onto a little of the sun’s warmth from the day.
‘You want a new start, Bear?’
‘I want to pursue the opportunities that were stolen from me.’ My words were harsher than I intended, so I softened them. ‘But before that, I just want to taste a little freedom where I’m only responsible for myself.’
Hannah nodded, her lips tugging into a tight line. ‘I can understand that.’ She kicked the water, sending a long splash as the next wave crashed at our feet. ‘I’m just curious, though. Is it what you really want, or is it something you think you should be doing—reactionary almost?’
I narrowed my eyes. ‘It’s something I want. A lot.’
She nodded and smiled. ‘Good. Just checking.’
We let the waves swirl around our ankles and the wind caress us with salty hands. She was right about the beauty of Mercy Island. I was going to miss that aspect. And my friends. Johnno. Serg. It wasn’t going to be easy leaving here. I knew that. But it was something I had to do.
‘Look!’ Hannah said, jolting me from my reflection. She was pointing up into the starry blackness. I snapped my head up to see the tail end of a trail of light soaring across the sky. ‘A shooting star. I’ve never seen one before.’
I took her hand and urged her back to the blanket. ‘Lay down and watch. You’ll see plenty.’
We laid back, side by side, and looked up. Stars blinked. Some forming familiar patterns. Others were splashed here and there, twinkling, erratic dots.
‘There’s another,’ I said, pointing.
She laughed loudly. A laugh filled with wonder and glee. I loved that sound. Like a child exploring the uncharted frontier. I laughed with her. Couldn’t help myself.
Together we laid for an hour or so. Pointing and cheering as each falling star shot across the sky. From the corner of my eye, I saw her wiping her cheek and she sniffled. I rolled on my side, inclining my head on my hand.
‘What’s the matter, Han?’
She shook her head and offered a watery grin. ‘I’m happy, Bear. I haven’t been happy for a long time.’
I knew what she meant.
Chapter 31
Hannah
Bear turned up Thursday morning with Johnno and a tiler named Brad. The spare room had been finished and Bear was on to the bathroom.
Johnno was tall with a protruding belly and grey beard. His voice was gruff, but he was like a big teddy bear. He greeted me with a hug when we were introduced.
‘Good to meet you, Hannah.’
‘You too. And thanks for your help with the roof cave-in.’
‘I wasn’t the one who dragged my arse out of bed.’ He winked at Bear. ‘But I’m a great delegator.’
Bear laughed. ‘Always willing to drag my arse out of bed for you, Johnno.’
Bear led them down the hall to the bathroom. He hoped to have the new vanity in and all the tiles laid today. Leaving the grouting and fitting of the new shower-screen tomorrow.
From my office next door to the bathroom, they seemed to be doubly noisy with hammers and grinders as they ripped out the old, water-laden plaster work, the vanity, bath and moulded tiles. The walls were re-plastered and waterproofed. Then the tile-cutter started as Brad fitted out the floor and walls with fresh tiles.
All the while, I had to trawl my way through pages of text describing a dozen orgasms and every possible euphemism for the word penis. I was working with an author on her erotic romance series. Of all the times to be editing a story in that genre. Like I needed more fuel when I had the erotic dream about Bear followed by the best first kiss of my entire life.
I stared at my computer screen, trying to drown out the intermittent screeches from the grinder or clang of the tile cutter.
Casandra and Laruso fell onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. Casandra knew what he wanted and rolled into position so they could make love, pie-in-the-sky style.
What the hell was pie-in-the-sky?
I blushed when I Googled it.
‘Wow. Casandra is an acrobatic little character,’ I said under my breath.
I added a note for the author: ‘Perhaps describe what this position is. Not sure everyone would know.’
Bear snuck up behind me while I had the webpage open with a clear-as-day picture showing the position.
‘So this is what you do all day?’
I jumped in my seat and threw my hand to my heart. ‘Bear.’ I quickly closed the page and he laughed. ‘I’m editing erotica.’
‘Hmmm. Not sure I’ve tried that position before.’
‘Pretty sure you’re not the only one.’
‘Looks a little uncomfortable for the woman.’
Images flashed in my mind of me with my legs bent behind my head while Bear had his way with me. Heat rose in my cheeks and I struggled to find my voice. ‘I’d have to be … um, I mean, the woman would have to be an acrobat.’ What the hell had come over me? My body was urging me in one direction, while my head and heart still struggled with the fear of doing so.
He laughed again. ‘I’m heading out with the guys to grab some lunch. Want me to get you anything?’
‘Where’re you headed?’
‘Just down to Nat’s.’
I nodded. ‘I’d love a hamburger.’
‘No worries.’ He strode out the room, shaking his head and chuckling. I’m certain I heard him mumble, ‘pie in the sky’ on the way out the door.
I thought of his sweet lips on mine and my chest warmed. Five days since that happened and I was still reeling. Five days and I was getting more flustered by the hour. I didn’t realise how much I physically wanted him. How much I craved to touch him as he worked in the next room getting hot and sweaty. If I was to continue functioning, I needed to … what? Were there any safe options when it came to Bear?
My day moved on at a steady pace, as it had all week. I was surprised at how quickly I had fallen into a nice routine. Walking Penny of a morning as the sun rose over the ocean casting Mercy Island in a brilliant orange glow. Editing during the day, and, some afternoons, going to the beach with Bear. I’d cook dinner, then spend the night writing. My passion had been re-ignited. Maybe because of the intimacy of the story I was laying down. I wasn’t sure. But it didn’t matter either way. What mattered was that I was writing again.
Of a night, and in all the moments Bear wasn’t clanging away at something, I enjoyed the silence that came with my own company. It was liberating not being at the behest of another—especially someone like Allister. I realised I’d never had this luxury. Never had a chance to be in control of my own life.
I understood Bear a little more then—about why he felt the need to go away by himself. He’d been looking after Rebecca since he was fifteen. That had to weigh upon one’s sense of freedom.
Johnno and Brad left a little before five. Bear showed me the progress made on the bathroom. I peeked my head in. It smelled like acrid glue and wet plaster. No way was it in the least bit functional. The tile glue was still wet and little spacer pegs sat between each wall tile like rows of blue and red plastic decorations. The shower was plumbed, but the tap wear hadn’t been fitted. But even in this state, with the new vanity and bath, it looked five hundred times better.
>
‘You can shower at my place tonight if you like?’ said Bear.
My heart fluttered as I contemplated that. Naked. A thin wall separating me from him.
‘I’ll make you dinner too if you like.’
I smiled and nodded. ‘I’d appreciate that. Thanks.’
‘No worries. So, I’m going to head out for a surf. You feel like dipping your toes in?’
I had some emails and a few little tasks I still wanted to deal with, so I declined. ‘How about I meet you at your house at 6.30?’
‘Sounds good. And if you like, print out a copy of your story. I’d love a read.’
I stopped in at the local bottle shop for wine on the way to Bear’s, arriving at his house a little late. His rented beach house was a block over from mine, an unassuming square set upon an enormous yard, surrounded with wattle and bottlebrush trees.
He met me at the front door with a wide grin. His tanned skin was glowing in contrast to his white t-shirt. Those dimples. My god, he was sexy.
‘Come in,’ he said.
I stepped inside. It was clean, but a little untidy. Surfing magazines, remote controls, books and an empty cup was strewn across the coffee table. His surfboard leant against the wall by the door. Running shoes lay on the hardwood floor beside a backpack. A pile of washing sat in a basket on a single lounge chair. This would have sent Allister into a rage.
How different Bear was.
‘I’ve already started cooking. I’m starving,’ he said.
‘Are you ever not hungry?’
He took the bottle of wine from me and laughed as he led me through to the kitchen. ‘You should have seen me when I was a teenager. I could never get enough.’
‘So what are we having?’
‘Tacos.’
‘Oooh yum.’
He smiled at that. ‘Bec’s favourite. So I thought they’d be a safe choice.’
‘I looove Mexican.’
‘There’s a great little Mexican restaurant on the mainland. We should go some time.’
I nodded and smiled. ‘I’d like that.’
Bear grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and placed it on the bench top next to a chopping board and a couple of avocados. I stood at his side. ‘What can I do?’
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