“Does that feel good?” he asked, his voice heavy.
A groan was my answer, louder than I had expected, but I was beyond caring.
“Fuck baby, you sound so sweet when you moan.”
He sounded so good when he said anything. Literally anything. Everything out of his mouth sounded sexy.
I got there fast. To that point of nothingness. That suspension. “Chase,” I whimpered.
“Let me hear you come, Ava.”
My orgasm tore through my quick and insistent, a fast pulsating me that had me choking out a gasp as I arched off my bed, my body going tense. As the last waves crashed over me, I made a strange, gasp/whimper/sob combination as I collapsed back on the bed.
“Fuck,” Chase growled in my ear and I could hear his breath hitch, then explode out of his mouth as he came. And damn if I didn't feel another rush of desire through my tired body.
There was a shuffling noise, then silence for long enough for me to pull the phone away to make sure the connection was still made.
“Ava?”
“I'm here,” I answered immediately. Maybe a bit too eagerly.
“Tomorrow at seven,” he said. And silence. This time a disconnect.
I put my phone back on the the nightstand and crawled out of bed, my limbs feeling heavy. I slipped back into my clothes and got back into bed.
Tomorrow at seven.
And, yet again, I had no idea what the session was about. I was starting to wonder if he wasn't doing that deliberately. Was he afraid I wouldn't show up if I knew, exactly, what we would be doing? I had to admit, that was a valid fear. It was absolutely something I could see myself doing. Even though the sessions were costing a small fortune. Even though they were with sexy Chase Hunter.
I was a flight risk.
And he needed to make sure I showed up.
I turned in bed, hearing Jake's door slam. Not shut. Slam. Hard. It was a sound I was very familiar with.
“You fucking asshole!” the pretty black-haired beauty screamed. Not said, not called... screamed. Like a goddamn banshee.
“I never promised you flowers and candy, baby,” Jake said, his tone completely unaffected.
“You also never fucking said you would throw me out on my ass at three in the fucking morning like some goddamn trash!”
Oh, boy.
I slowly got up out of bed and made my way to the door. I knew what would come next. Things would fly. And break. My things. Not Jake's. Jake didn't have much. It was all mine. And I had needed to replace so many items over the years.
Besides, Chase's words were in my head. About pretty women alone on the streets at night. And Jake's girl was gorgeous.
I got my feet into slippers and opened my door. “Hey,” I said, cutting into their raised voices with my low one.
“What?”
“Jake and I are going to drive you home,” I supplied, looking at the girl whose face immediately got less tense.
“Like fucking hell I...”
“Shut up,” I said, looking at him. “If you are going to insist she leave in the middle of the night, the very least you can do is make sure she gets home safe. If you don't want to have to do that, let her stay until the morning. But, seeing as you screwed up the chances of her wanting to stay, go get some shoes on and let's go. I'm tired.”
Jake walked back to his room, mumbling. “It sounds like you want me to do better,” he said, using Chase's words against me.
“Yeah, that's exactly what I want you to do. Better. Because you're better than this,” I insisted, grabbing my keys.
“Thank you,” the girl said to me, her eyes truly grateful.
“Don't mention it,” I said.
Jake shot daggers at the side of my face as we drove and waited out front the girl's building to make sure she got in. “Why did I have to come? You want to be all noble and bring her home? Fine. But don't make me come.”
“I'm here because I care about her well being,” I said easily. “You're here because you care about mine.”
There was a long silence, Jake's anger deflating under my superior rationality. “Well, I can't fucking argue with that.”
“Good, because I'm exhausted.”
Fourth Session
I felt good the next day. Yes, there were nerves about the unknown, but they were taking a back seat to my good mood. I had gotten a good night of sleep, I had helped a freaked out girl get home whilst simultaneously putting Jake in his place, I had two orgasms in the course of a few hours. I was doing pretty darn well.
Shay kept looking at me sideways all day at work. Then, finally, grabbing her purse at the end of the day, she sat down on my desk.
“You get laid?”
I laughed, rolling my eyes. “No, Shay.”
“You sure?”
“I think I would remember that,” I smiled.
“You seem different.”
“I don't know. I got a good night of sleep, I guess.”
“Girl that ain't no good sleep putting that look on your face,” she objected. “Good dick is what puts that look on a woman's face.”
I snorted, but suddenly wanted to tell her. Shay had done everything possible to keep a foot in my life, no matter how much I pushed her away, no matter how many times I refused to go out with her. She had actively, I realized, been trying to forge a friendship with me. And I had always been to wrapped up in my own shit that I didn't see it.
“Look, I know you have like some issues with guys or somethin'...”
“I'm seeing someone.”
“Girl, I knew it. Spill.”
“He's a doctor.”
“That's right. You set your sights high. Fine someone who fucking wants to take care of you.”
“No, Shay. He's a shrink. But he's a special kind of shrink.”
“What kind of shrink?” she asked, brows drawing together.
“The kind to help me overcome my issues with sex.”
To my surprise, she didn't look confused, she just nodded. Like it was the most normal thing in the world. “Please tell me he's at least yummy to look at.”
“Oh, my god, Shay...”
“Damn. That good? You'll be right back on that hobby horse in no time. And then I need dick descriptions,” she said, standing.
“I promise.”
“Hey,” she said, going toward the door.
“Yeah?”
“Let's go out Friday night.”
“Absolutely.”
The smile on her face made me realize how much I let other people suffer because of my issues. “I'll meet you at your place so we can share a cab and get schnockered.”
“Sounds great,” I said, because,well... it did.
I left work a while later, going back to the apartment.
“What?” I asked Jake who had been following me around the apartment like a little lost puppy since I got home.
“What's up with you?”
“Nothing.”
“You're making food,” he accused.
“Yeah, I'm hungry. I need food to survive. I'm not an automaton, you know.”
“You have a session tonight.”
“Yeah,” I said, turning, raising a brow.
“And you're eating.”
“Okay, Jake. Spit it out. I'm short on time today.”
“You've been smiling since you walked in the door. And now you're eating before a session,” he mused to himself. “Shit, woman.”
“What?” I asked, taking a bite of my sandwich.
“You have a crush on your sex doctor.”
“What? No!”
But then it came through with blinding clarity.
He was right.
I liked Chase.
Not just as someone who was helping me immeasurably.
I just liked him.
As a person.
Especially, as a man.
Oh, good god.
I turned, spitting my mouthful into the garbage and tossing the rest of the sandwich. I brought a hand to my forehead. Because, well... shit shit shit.
“Why are you freaking out?”
“I can't have a fucking crush on Chase!”
“Well, that sucks... because you do.”
“Oh. My. God,” I groaned.
“Dude, it was bound to happen,” Jake said casually. “He says nice things to you. He touches you. You don't have enough experience with men to be able to not let that bother you.” He watched me for a minute, shaking my head, staring out the window. “Look, I'm sure he's used to it. I mean, in his profession. It has to happen all the time. Actually, don't they even have a word for it when a patient think they have a thing for their shrinks?”
“Transference,” I supplied.
“Yeah. So you got transference. No big deal.”
But it was a big deal. Because it changed things. And being aware of it would really change things.
“Stop freaking out. Go take your shower. Calm down. Get pretty. Go to your session. You need to stop analyzing things so much.”
“Easier said than done,” I said, but made my way to the bathroom anyway.
I had less than an hour and I was having to go show up there, fully aware that I had feelings for him. Not just interest. But actual feelings. And then we were going to do things. And I was going to feel even closer to him.
I dressed in simple jeans and a long sleeved purple t-shirt then started on my way there before I decided to call and completely cancel the rest of my sessions.
“Hey, babe,” Chase said, waiting for me outside his office door. “You look nice.”
Compliments were part of the process, I reminded myself, they didn't mean anything more than that.
“What's with the look?”
“Nothing,” I said automatically, shaking my head, wondering how I had been looking at him.
His brows lowered, but he reached out for me. I walked toward him, feeling tense. “Want a drink?”
Or Ten. Or Twenty. Enough to knock me out.
“Sure.”
I went to the stereo and picked out an blues play list that fit my mood. Chase turned to me, holding out a martini. “Want to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?” I asked, shamelessly taking a huge sip of my drink.
“About whatever is making you tense and play sad music.”
“I knew the music thing was some kind of test,” I said, squinting my eyes at him. “Sneaky.”
He smiled, shrugging. “It's a good way to get an idea what kind of mental state a pat... someone is in.”
A patient.
A patient.
He had a slip that revealed exactly what I needed to hear. That I was a patient. Nothing more.
“Clever,” I said, finishing my drink and putting it down next to the decanters. “I'm assuming this is a clothes-off session again,” I said, watching him watch me, his eyes dark as he considered me.
“Yes.”
“Okay,” I said, my strong sense of self-preservation letting me push past my normal insecurities as I reached for my jeans and slipped out of them. Then my shirt. My hands were at my bra before he spoke.
“Ava... what's going on?”
“What do you mean? I asked, shrugging, but not finishing unclasping my bra. “This is what I am supposed to be doing, right?”
“Maybe if you communicated with me instead of assuming things, you would already know the answer to that.” He sighed, putting his drink down. “Talk to me.”
“It's nothing. Jake said something that put me in a bad mood.” And then you almost said something that confirmed the stupidity of my one-sided crush.
“Come here,” he said, holding out his arms.
And, helpless to do anything but, I walked into them. He held me, silently, for a long time before finally speaking. “Tonight, I wanted to undress you.”
Oh.
Well.
I fucked that up for myself, didn't I?
“Sorry,” I mumbled against his shirt.
“It's okay. I still have some things to remove,” he said, his hands moving up my back to where my bra still had two clasps holding it closed.
“Am I going to undress you?”
“Yeah, baby,” he murmured against my hair.
My hands moved up between us, grabbing his shirt and pulling it up out of his pants, then moving my fingers to work on the buttons. Against me, Chase went still. Surprised, I was sure, that I was willing to take the lead without encouragement. So was I to an extent. And the motives were mixed. On one hand, I was trying to move things along. Keep things on schedule. Try not to drag it out and make myself suffer or let myself think there was more to it than there was. On the other hand, I just needed to feel him against me. His warm skin, the evidence of his strength in his muscles.
My hands at the top, I slipped my hands under, pushing his shirt and his jacket back and he released me so the material could slide from his arms. One of his hands rested lightly on my hip, the other going to the side of my neck.
“Ava...”
I shook my head, looking down and watching as I unbuckled his belt, removed it, and started to the fly of his slacks. My hands paused, and I took a deep breath and quickly pushed them off. Then, before I could let myself think about it, I grabbed the waistband of his boxer briefs and pulled down.
He was already hard.
He really did have a perfect cock. Shay would love to hear about it. I felt a laugh rise in my throat and fought to keep it in, because, well, it would be pretty awful to laugh when you're looking at someone's junk.
“Ava,” he said in that tone. That tone that said look at me. My eyes drifted slowly upward, taking in his abs then the chest I liked to rest on, then finally to his gorgeous scruffy face. “While I'm glad you're taking the lead, babe,” he started, his hand going to the side of my face, “I want to make sure it's for the right reasons.”
“Are there wrong reasons to undress you?” I countered, running my hands down his stomach.
He made a growling noise, taking a deep breath. “Fine. I'll let it go for now. But I will get to the bottom of it eventually. Go get on the bed.”
It occurred to me as I laid down, watching him walk toward me, gloriously naked, that I still didn't know what we would be doing.
But then he was in the bed, looming slightly over me as he reached behind my back and unclasped my bra. He left the cups to cover me as he slid the straps down my arms. Then, very slowly, he inched the black material away, revealing me. Then his hand reached out, ever so slightly brushing over my breast.
So that was what we were doing.
And, also, oh my god.
There was an instant shiver, and a slow awakening of desire between my thighs. His eyes lifted to mine, heavy-lidded and beautiful, then his hand did another brush, this time he was watching my face for my reaction. I felt my lips part, my back arching into his hand. His fingers moved to my nipple, gently rolling it between them, making me suck in a shaky breath. “You okay?” he asked, looking as turned on as I suddenly felt.
“Yeah,” I said, my voice sounding foreign: airy, needy.
“Thank god,” I said, taking my other nipple in his other hand and continuing his slow, sweet torment. “You have no idea how hard it has been not to touch you.” Under his inspection, my breasts felt heavy, my nipples more sensitive than I knew they were capable of being and it felt like there was a connection from his hands to my sex which felt tight and desperate for relief. “This is what we are doing this session,” he said, watching his hands. “I am going to touch you here,” he said, then one of his hands moved slowly down the center of my belly and rested the palm against the juncture of my thighs, “and here.”
Oh, my.
Yes. Yes. Yes.
But at the same time, I wasn't sure how that would go.
“Look at me, Ava,” he said, one of his hand
s still cupping my breast, the other covering my heat. “I am going to touch you. And you are going to touch me.”
Okay.
I was pretty sure I could do that.
Maybe.
“Do you think it would be better for me to touch you first or...”
“Me touch you,” I said before he could even finish.
“You're sure?”
Nope. Not at all.
“Yes.”
“Okay,” he said, removing both his hands and moving to sit next to me, upright against the headboard. “Come here.”
Alright. This was it. I was going to have to touch his cock. The idea settling with both a surge of excitement and dread, making a weird wobbly feeling swirl in my belly.
But I pushed myself up and scooted in beside him, resting my head on my favorite place in the damn world. He reached across his body, taking my hand in his and holding. “You nervous?”
“ A little.”
“A little isn't bad, right?” he asked, his other arm around me, stroking up and down my arm. “Give me a number.”
“Four-ish,” I said, breathing him in.
“I can work with four-ish,” he said, sounding lazy. Like there was no rush. “How about the idea of me touching you?”
“Seven?”
“I can work with that too,” he said, slowly unfolding my hand and flattening it against his chest, his resting on top of mine. “But let's not think about that yet, alright?”
“Alright.”
Then his hand was pressing mine slowly down his body. I watched, my hand all but swallowed up by his as it slid down his chest, over his abs, down the small line of dark hair leading toward his cock. I felt my hand tense, digging into his skin as if I could hold on and he quickly picked it up, turning it, bringing it up and kissing the palm.
But then he was pulling it back down, much more quickly, and my hand wrapped around the base of his cock. Chase exhaled loudly and I felt my hand instinctively tighten around him, holding him “That's it, touch me baby,” he said, his hand moving from mine, settling on his thigh, I guessed, in case I needed help.
Though right in that moment, I didn't. Because I wanted to make him feel good. I wanted to hear his breath whoosh out of his mouth, curse, groan.
The Sex Surrogate Page 10