Reckless, Glorious, Girl

by Ellen Hagan

  and water and cradle and pay close attention

  to your dreams. Let them rise up

  and grow out of control.

  Let them lead the way always.”

  She sits back in her favorite chair,

  pulls out some blankets from the shed.

  I almost ask to sit in her lap

  or burrow into Mom’s,

  but tonight

  I feel strong somehow

  starting on my own.

  Feel like I can plant my own life and watch it grow.

  I settle for holding both their hands.

  Consider myself forever lucky.

  For a Kentucky sky above me,

  almost snow, a house that’s warm

  with a fire & quilts & arms that know

  how to hug & hold & let go,

  from all the memories of a dad

  who loved me so hard, for a mom

  who loves me endlessly,

  for my friends who are family,

  & especially & always for a granny

  like Mamaw, who manages to make magic

  the everyday, makes me magic

  just for being loved by her.

  “Happy New Year,” I say back.

  “To all the things we wish for

  & all the ways to make them happen.”

  Acknowledgments

  Always thankful for the community of friends & artists who make this world shine, shine. Forever grateful for: Grisel Y. Acosta, Stephanie Dionne Acosta, Juan Acosta, Lisa Ascalon, Jennifer Baker, Julia Berick, Dan Bernitt, Berry, Tokumbo Bodunde, Marc Boone, Lori Brown-Niang, Susan Buttenwieser, Moriah Carlson, Olivia Cole, Angie Cruz, Bobby DeJesus, Jessica Diaz, Mitchell L. H. Douglas, Jason Duchin, Dana Edell, Kelly Norman Ellis, John Ellrodt, Maria Fico, Rajeeyah Finnie-Myers, D. A. Flores, Kevin Flores, Marsha Flores, Asha French, Tanya Gallo, Aracelis Girmay, Nanya-Akuki Goodrich, Catrina Ganey, Rachel Eliza Griffiths, Andrée Greene, Lisa Green, Ysabel Y. Gonzalez, Jake Hagan, Jen Hagan, Lisa Hagan, Michael Hagan, Karen Harryman, Lindsey Homra, Melissa Johnson, Amanda Johnston, Parneshia Jones, Carey Kasten, Caroline Kennedy, Michele Kotler, Mino Lora, Tim Lord, Rob Linné, Veronica Liu, Will Maloney, Alison McDonald, Stacy Mohammed, Kamilah Aisha Moon, Andrea Murphy, Alecia Whitaker, Willie Perdomo, Andy Powell, Sarina Prabasi, Danni Quintos, Emily Raboteau, David Reilly, Carla Repice, Kate Dworkoski Scudese, Pete Scudese, Vincent Toro, Natalia Torres, Alondra Uribe, Jessica Wahlstrom, Crystal Wilkinson, Jenisha Watts & Marina Hope Wilson.

  Growing up in Bardstown, Kentucky, gave me a crew of amazing friends. We grew through so much together. I will forever be thankful for how they showed up & how we grew up to hold & carry each other. Leslie Hibbs Blincoe, Becca Christensen, Megan Clark Garriga, Britt Kulsveen, Brandi Cusick Rimpsey, Lisa Forsee Roby, Melanie Ballard Sewell, Kate Carothers Smith & Kelly Wheatley.

  Elma’s Heart Circle & all the women who are a home for me. So many of these poems started in this writing group. So grateful to be a part of this beautiful community. Cheryl Boyce-Taylor especially & always, & this sisterhood of poets: E. J. Antonio, Cheryl Clarke, LeConté Dill, Kathy Engel, JP Howard, Caits Meissner, Yesenia Montilla & Christina Olivares.

  Renée Watson for your friendship & feedback & heart & guidance through my first middle grade novel in verse. Thank you!

  To my early readers: Rob Linné, Renée Watson & Kelly Wheatley—thank you for your comments & questions & all the love.

  Sarah Shumway Liu—I loved the way you saw Beatrice Miller. Thank you for caring so deeply for this story & for your sharp editorial eye & the heart you bring to this work.

  Thank you to the team at Bloomsbury: Erica Barmash, Alexa Higbee, Beth Eller, Jasmine Miranda & Lily Yengle—for ushering Beatrice into the world.

  Rosemary Stimola—thank you for your vision & brilliance. It is such a joy to work with you & the entire team at Stimola Literary Studio.

  Deb Shapiro & Shreve Williams for the amazing care & attention to this book.

  For the family collectives that helped to raise me as a writer & educator & activist: Affrilachian Poets, Alice Hoffman Young Writers Retreat at Adelphi University, Café Buunni, Conjwoman, The DreamYard Project, Dodge Poetry Festival, girlstory, GlobalWrites, International Poetry Exchange Program, Kentucky Governor’s School for the Arts, New York Foundation for the Arts, Northern Manhattan Arts Alliance, Northwestern University Press, People’s Theatre Project, Sawyer House Press, and VONA.

  For my parents—always. Gianina & Patrick Hagan for allowing me to be as reckless & as glorious as I wanted and tried to be. Thank you always.

  For my partner—David Flores. Your work holds me up. What a joy to be in this world making art together. Love—always.

  Finally to my daughters—Araceli Miriam Hagan Flores & Miriam Elinor Hagan Flores. You make me want to create work that makes you proud & that matters in the world. I love you both endlessly.

  BLOOMSBURY CHILDREN’S BOOKS

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  First published in the United States of America in February 2021 by Bloomsbury Children’s Books

  Text copyright © 2021 by Ellen Hagan

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or any information storage or retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Hagan, Ellen, author.

  Title: Reckless, glorious, girl / by Ellen Hagan.

  Description: New York : Bloomsbury Children’s Books, 2021.

  Summary: Twelve-year-old Beatrice Miller copes with the ups and downs of friendships, puberty, and identity, guided by the wisdom and love of her beloved mamaw and mom, the summer before seventh grade.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2020024837 (print) | LCCN 2020024838 (e-book)

  ISBN 978-1-5476-0460-9 (hardcover) • ISBN 978-1-5476-0461-6 (e-book)

  Subjects: CYAC: Novels in verse. | Adolescence—Fiction. | Mothers and daughters—Fiction. | Family life—Kentucky—Fiction. | Friendship—Fiction. | Kentucky—Fiction.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.5.H34 Rec 2021 (print) | LCC PZ7.5.H34 (e-book) | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2020024837

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