by Lindsey Hart
Just. Fucking. Done.
Still a little in shock, and a hell of a lot of angry, Ash raised both hands. She flipped off every single person, sure to let the birds fly high.
“This is for all of you,” she said, rage seeping out of every single pore. “For every single one of you who have tormented another human being. For every single person out there who thinks that making someone cry or feel miserable or hate something about themselves that they have no control over is something to be proud of. This is for every single person out there who has never been able to stand up for themselves. I know what you went through. These people made my life a living hell for five years! Five! You know what? I’m done with caring. I have a good life. I love my life. I love being a geek and a nerd and I love who I am! Can you say the same thing about yourself? No, of course you can’t because that’s right. You get your rocks off bullying other people because deep inside, you’re just a steaming pile of shit. So you can go fuck yourselves. Right here. Right now. And I have a little tip for you. Use your fist instead of your finger. It’s soooo much more satisfying.” She brought her hand to her lips and blew all those assholes one final kiss before she turned and stalked past a stunned Trace.
She ignored his split lip, though the sorrow in his blue eyes tore her to shreds inside. How could she have believed that this man had a heart? How could she have thought he cared?
Oh right. Because her vagina had done all the thinking for her.
She was fucking done with that too.
Heavy steps sounded on the sidewalk behind her and she whirled, expecting Trace. She was relieved to find it was Maggie. Her friend was breathing heavy, but she was also grinning from ear to ear. “Hey! That was amazing!” Her friend’s eyes sparkled. “I thought you might need a getaway if you came with Trace and he drove.”
“Oh my god, Maggie, I’m so glad you have my back.” Ash wanted to burst into tears all over again, but she stuffed that away and pasted on her business face. There would be plenty of time to cry after. Off-camera. If that little speech went viral, and she sure as hell hoped it did now, she wasn’t going to be seen breaking down after she’d just flipped off the entire world. “Which way is your car?”
CHAPTER 16
Ash
Of course, she didn’t even make it home before the texts started rolling. She’d barely thanked Maggie for the six millionth time for the ride home and walked in the door when her brother called.
Jason never called.
It was like he was physically incapable of actually dialing a phone.
“What the hell is going on over there? Ash! Your reunion is all over the internet. It’s gone viral, four hundred thousand views already!”
“Oh my god. Oh no.” Ash sunk down on the couch and put her head in her hands. Her fist still ached from where she’d planted it in Trace’s face.
“Why did you hit him? What the fuck is going on? You told off all those people, but why? What happened? Did someone try something? Say something? No, let me rephrase that. They must have said a lot of something to make you react that way. What did Trace do? You bloodied his face! Do I have to come there and kick his ass? Was he secretly an asshole?”
“No! God, you don’t know? Trace? As in the Trace? He’s a fucking billionaire. He owns some health food shit.”
“Supplements and vitamins,” Jason said dryly.
“Whatever,” Ash moaned. She remembered Trace saying something about it at dinner the night before.
“Ummm, Ash, I hate to break it to you, but we figured out who he was right after you guys left. I thought- I just thought you knew. I mean, you were dating the guy. Mom and dad thought you didn’t tell us because it would be awkward. And it’s not like it matters or anything. Uh- well, maybe we would have been weird. That’s why they thought you kept it to yourself.”
“What? No! I’m so stupid,” she whined. She wanted to facepalm herself at the moment, she was that dense. She couldn’t believe she’d actually hit Trace. He didn’t really deserve it, she’d just reacted blindly. She was completely humiliated. Her worst nightmare had just happened, and he was the one who she punished. “I was the only one on earth who didn’t know who he was.”
“Maybe there was a good reason he didn’t tell you.”
“Yeah, because I was some joke to him. This whole thing was a joke. I started out by asking him if he’d be my fake boyfriend for this reunion. I- I never expected him to say yes. He was on an online dating site for shit sakes and not a good one. Like, I pay ten dollars a month to join. If he has all that money, what the hell was he doing on there? And why would he even respond to me when clearly, he could get any woman he wants? It was a setup. He’s probably some eccentric bastard who gets his rocks off on making people think he’s helping them and then pulling the rug out from underneath them.”
“Uh- judging from the look on his face in that video even before you hit him, I don’t think that’s the case. He looked pretty upset. He was running after you, trying to get you to listen to something. And then, bam, you flattened him!”
“Bam. You know, normally it would be funny. If this was a comic. I can see me decking him with the sound effects and the big BAM bubble and then WHAM and all that, but god, it’s not funny. It’s not some comic. This is my life. He’s probably going to sue me, and I’ll go to jail since there is evidence that I really did hit him.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s not going to press charges.”
“How would you know?” she snapped. She regretted it right after. Jason, for once in his life, was just trying to help. He was trying to be a good brother and she was making it pretty damn hard on him.
“I- well- he looked- devastated after he picked himself up. I watched the video probably twenty times-”
“Jason!”
“No, really. I watched you a couple of times, and damn, you’re impressive. Now when I want to impress a chick, I’ll tell her that my sister is a romance writer and that she’s the one who decked Trace and stood up to her whole class of asshats.”
“Fuck you, Jason. Seriously. Right up the ass.”
“Lord no. Don’t even say that to me. It puts horrible mental images into my head.”
Ash made a growling noise that wasn’t exactly feminine. Hell, it didn’t even sound human. “I’m so not in the mood for the normal perverted banter, in case you didn’t realize. Never mind fuck you. I’ve just fucked myself over big time. I’ve ruined my own life. God, this night couldn’t get any worse, even if Trace did decide to press charges.”
The line went silent for a few seconds, but Ash knew it wouldn’t last. It wasn’t in her brother’s nature to let her get the last word in. “You could always, you know, text him and apologize or something.”
“Oh right. And say sorry for smashing you in the face? Sorry, my fist just slipped? Sorry that you didn’t tell me you were a fucking billionaire or something and I found out in front of the entire group of my ex-classmates, who by the way used to fucking torment me every single chance they got. Sorry that you made my worst nightmare come true? Sorry that you helped me ruin my life. Something like that?”
Jason snorted. “Jeez. No wonder your love life sucks. I was thinking more along the lines of sorry I lost my temper and acted like a bitch. Come over and I’ll make it worth your while. Something like that. As a guy, I personally wouldn’t say no. I might even think it was a little kinky if a chick punched me in the face. It’s hot if they draw blood.”
“What the fuck? Seriously I do not want to know anything more. I’m not going to text him. Maybe I’ll give you his number and you can do it for me. Say sorry that he’s a dick and sorry that being a billionaire obviously didn’t make him good at honesty or board games. Sorry that he’ll never see or hear from me again. How about that?”
Jason stayed annoyingly calm. He didn’t rise to the bait at all, which was a damn first. “Yeah, sure. Just send me his number and I’ll smooth things over.”
“No. Way. Thanks for trying to help. I really do
appreciate it. Can you contain mom and dad for me? I’m not exactly up to damage control at the moment.”
“Sure. But you owe me. Big time.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“If you ever do change your mind and get back together with Trace, like, he owes me a sports car or something. He can afford it.”
“I’ll make sure to pass that along never because I’m never going to speak to him again.”
“Never is a long-”
Ash hung up before Jason could finish the sentence. She powered her phone off and threw it onto the floor. It would have been more dramatic if she didn’t have a throw rug blanketing the hardwood floor. It broke the phone’s fall and instead of smashing, it landed with a dull thud.
Great. I can’t even have a tantrum the right way.
Slowly her hands balled up into fists. She took a deep breath, willing herself to cry, but it wasn’t going to work. She rubbed a spot over the ache in her chest, right above her pounding heart. In the privacy of her apartment, which was the only place any tears over this were ever going to happen, she let herself break down and wallow in the misery that was her life. The fact that she’d ever considered that she was pathetic before was laughable. This was a new record as far as all-time lows went.
CHAPTER 17
Trace
Some mornings were terribly unkind. Apparently, Trace was living through one of them. He groaned as he ran a hand through his unkempt unwashed hair, trying to block out the sound of the shrill ringing cutting through his brain. He unglued his eyes and nearly panicked when he couldn’t see anything. He rubbed his eyes furiously and when he tried again, his living room swam into view. The shapes and shadows and beams of light finally solidified into real shapes.
He scrubbed a hand over his face as he sat up. Pain blossomed in his skull like a damn flower unfurling itself from its tightly woven bud in all its vibrant glory. He was aware, as he pushed himself off of his couch, that there was a half-empty bottle of whiskey tipped on its side on the floor, which had been full the night before.
The doorbell apparently wasn’t going to stop any fucking time soon, so Trace pushed himself toward it. He straightened his rumpled clothing the best he could before he raised an arm and sniffed at himself. He drew back immediately, stomach wrenching. God, when was the last time that I showered?
Annoyed that whoever was out there was laying on the doorbell like their very life depended on it, Trace ripped open the door, ready to yell at whatever poor soul was out there. God help them if they were trying to sell him something or pedal soul saving pamphlets. He was pretty sure after what he’d done to Ash, he was beyond redemption.
“Surprise!” Leanne yelled. Trace’s mom stood in a red sweater and a black pair of leggings. Her hair was pulled back into a neat bun and her makeup was tasteful. His sister stood beside her, grinning, as equally put together in a casual black maxi dress and a pair of ankle boots. Jenni’s smile faded and his mother’s followed suit soon after. Jenni wrinkled her nose.
“Good lord. What happened to you? It’s Tuesday morning and you look like you’ve disappeared into the bottle for an entire week.”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” Trace growled. “Anyway, did you come here to insult me?”
“No. We came because you weren’t answering your phone,” his mom said, her tone worried. “We thought you were just busy, but we wanted to check on you.”
“Yeah.” Jenni’s hands moved to her hips. “I haven’t heard from you since you babysat for me last week.”
“Does this have to do with a certain video that I know you’ve both seen by now?”
His mother grimaced. “Honey, I think we better come in. It’s obvious that you’re not holding up well. I’ll make you breakfast while you shower and get changed.”
“We’ve come to pull you from the land of the dead,” Jenni chimed in. “By the way, I’ve watched the video, like fifty times. Amelia thought it was hilarious to see her uncle get decked by a pretty lady. I’ll admit that I laughed my ass off seeing her punch you.”
“Jenni!” Their mother warned. She shot Trace a dark glance. “After you’ve showered and eaten, you’re going to sit down and explain to me what you did to this girl to make her want to bloody you. She seems like a good girl. A strong girl. She stood up to all those people who were trying to belittle and bully her.”
“Oh god.” Trace fought the urge to facepalm himself. His lip and nose had pretty much healed. His pride didn’t factor into it. His heart though… he’d wanted more time with Ash. He wanted more for her. He wanted to make it a night she wouldn’t forget. He wanted her to shine. She’d shone alright, in a completely different and unexpected way. That video went viral for exactly the reasons his mother just pointed out. People liked when someone stood up to a bully. They liked the victory of the underdog. “She should thank me for helping her come out of her shell,” he ground out sarcastically. He rolled his eyes as Jenni pushed her way into the house and his mother followed.
“Gross. It smelled like something died in here.” Jenni glanced back at him after taking a few steps in. She didn’t bother to kick off her shoes. “Oh wait. Obviously, it did.”
He bit back a harsh retort. His sister didn’t deserve his anger, not really. She and his mom were there to try and help them. Honestly, he expected them to show up earlier, especially since his phone now told him his sister had breached the triple-digit mark on the number of times she’d called. His mom’s number was lower, at around fifteen times.
“That poor girl,” his mother mumbled as she bustled down the hall on the way to the kitchen.
“You don’t have to make me breakfast, mom,” Trace called. He winced as the stabbing pain in his head turned up the volume. She made a non-committal reply dismissing him. He knew that his protests would have little effect.
“She does because I’m starved. I called in sick to work to come here and scrape your sorry ass off the floor.”
“How did you know that I’d be here moping around?”
“Hmmm.” Jenni put her finger to her chin and pretended to think like an old-fashioned detective or something. “Let’s see.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm. “Maybe because you’re my brother and I’ve known you, like, forever. Literally, since you’re older. Maybe because after every single breakup you go through this self-destruction ritual. This one is just about the worst. I’m surprised there isn’t a swarm of reporters gathered around the house waiting for the story.”
“There were. They gave up and left yesterday. You’re lucky you didn’t come earlier, or you would have been swarmed.”
“I might have driven by a couple of times,” Jenni winked. “I might have done a drive-by this morning too, earlier, to see if they’d gone yet.”
Trace winced. He was starting to feel worse by the second. A crash and a bang echoed from the kitchen where his mom was obviously clearing out the dirty dishes. Trace wanted to kick his own ass for being so pathetic that his mom had to clean up after him like he was a child again.
He scrubbed a hand over his face again. “God, I’m a mess.”
Jenni could have egged him on. She could have done the sisterly thing and told him that he was, without a doubt, the hottest hot mess she’d seen in a long time, but she took mercy on him. “I know why you didn’t tell her. I get it. You wanted to be you. I know you’ve been through the wringer. I’d like to strangle a few of those bitches who treated you the way they did. No one gets away with ruining my brother that way.”
“Jenni…” Trace rubbed at his temples. “Thanks for that, really, but I don’t need you to commit murder for me. Although, seeing a full out catfight with hair flying all over complete with screams, maybe throw in a little mud… I wouldn’t mind seeing you kick ass that way.”
“You’re such a dork. Getting rich hasn’t changed you at all. You’re still just a huge nerd who has his head up his ass.”
“Thanks for that. I’ll take that as a sign of sisterly love and affectio
n. I don’t think you could pay me a higher compliment.”
Jenni rolled her eyes. “I’m trying to say that I get why you didn’t tell her, but I also think that you should have. You didn’t exactly set her up for disaster, but what you did, didn’t help. I get that you want to be known for you, but there’s this point where you just have to put your faith in another person and trust them.”
“I didn’t have time.”
“I know. I know you were eventually going to come clean, but it didn’t happen and now things are pretty wrecked.”
“Thanks. I didn’t exactly know that.” Trace sunk against the wall. He felt like shit and didn’t even want to hold himself up any longer. His mom started singing in the kitchen and he let out a low groan. “This is seriously the worst day of my life. My mom and my sister, coming here and cleaning up after me.”
Jenni pursed her lips and stared back at him completely unsympathetic. “Obviously you need it.”
“Again, thanks.”
“You’re perfectly welcome. Now,” she made a swatting motion then pointed down the hall. “You need to get in the shower. I’m starved and sitting there smelling you is really putting me off and mom’s breakfasts are the best. I haven’t had one in ages. I’m not going to let you ruin it for me.”
“I love you too,” Trace said sarcastically.
“I do love you,” Jenni insisted. Her face softened. He didn’t have to tell her that he knew it. It was obvious between them. He didn’t know a brother and sister who had been closer growing up. He’d looked after her when their mom was off trying to earn enough money to see them through another month. He’d beat up bullies for her. He was her biggest fan. He’d nearly kicked her husband’s ass when they started dating, just because he knew that no one out there was good enough for his sister, but the guy was lucky enough that he won him over by treating Jenni like gold. “But you still stink.”
“I knew there was a hard ‘but’ coming. “