by Lindsey Hart
And again. And again. And a fourth time for good measure. A fifth, because she really, truly, needed to make sure Ross wasn’t there.
Just when she was cursing herself out for being silly and paranoid and all sorts of insecure, a light snapped on in the hall and Ross was there, dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a black t-shirt. The image was skewed by the glass in the door, but she didn’t need to see him in full detail to understand that his t-shirt was too tight in the sleeves and strained across the chest and his jeans were worn in select spots that made select spots of hers tingle, or that they hung on his hips just right.
He hesitated, but when she rang the bell again, he decided she wasn’t going away.
When he pulled open the door, he had a pissed off look on his face. His features were pinched, his lips thinned out, his jaw clenched, his nostrils flaring slightly when he breathed. Those eyes she once thought were warm and full of life were flat and hard and cold. Just like when she’d first met him, and she didn’t know that there was a different Ross hiding underneath the asshole layers.
“What the hell?” Teela breathed. “Where have you been? Why haven’t you answered your calls or your texts? I’ve been worried about you! It’s been ten days!”
Ross’ knuckles whitened on the door, where he held it open only a few inches. “I knew you’d turn up here sooner or later. Honestly, I was hoping it would be later, but I guess it doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t matter?” Teela asked, trying to keep the wounded sound out of her voice.
“This. Us.” Ross waved a hand, indicating her. “I know what this is. I’ve known from the start, but I guess I tricked myself into thinking that maybe for once there was a single genuine person out there. Don’t worry, I don’t blame you. I’m the stupid one. The one who falls for this shit every single time.”
“What- what are you talking about?”
“You. Your friend. I came to your condo. I was going to surprise you and take you out, but I guess you were already busy. I know why she did it. Why she picked my sample. I know what your plans were. You wanted to be set for life, and this was the best way to do it. This way you didn’t even have to spread your legs for me.”
Teela’s heart sunk. She was so shocked all she could stammer out were words she wished she could snatch right back. “I- what? If that’s true, then what we were doing? Why would I sleep with you if I didn’t have to?”
“I don’t know. Just another part of your plan. Get me willing. Make me think… it doesn’t matter. You know what, if you wanted the money, you could have just asked for it. You didn’t have to whore yourself out for it. I’d already changed my mind. You didn’t need to go that extra step.”
“Ross- if you heard that, what Amy said, then you must have heard me telling her I couldn’t believe she’d do something like that! I was mad at her! I couldn’t believe that she’d think I wasn’t capable of raising a child by myself. I- I made her leave. She… I didn’t have any part of that. I didn’t know! That should have been pretty obvious.”
Ross shook his head. “I know what I heard. I heard her talking and you didn’t respond. Because you already knew. You had this big plan, you and your friend. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I’m done with all of this. You’ll get your cheque every month. I’ll get my visitation rights. We’ll be civil to each other and that’s that.”
“No!” Teela stamped her foot like she did when she was younger, and someone punished her for something she’d never done in the first place. “I swear, I didn’t know. I- just because you didn’t hear what I said, doesn’t mean I didn’t say it. I was angry. I was hurt. I- I told Amy that I would never have done either of those things. I wasn’t in this for the money. I never was. If you truly think that about me then… you really don’t know me at all. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but seriously. If you can’t tell already, then you’re not the person I thought you were either. You’ve had some shitty experiences, I get that, but you don’t get to act all butt-hurt and take them out on me. Or this baby. I’m not some gold digger. I’m not a whore either. I- when we were together, I did that because I wanted to. It meant something to me. I thought it meant something to you as well. So… so you can either pull that stick out of your ass and grow up and realize that the entire world isn’t out to get you just because you dated a few assholes, or you can… you can do what you said and we’ll get on with our lives because obviously, if you think about me that way, this was never right in the first place.”
There wasn’t anything more to say so Teela whirled and stormed down the steps. She stalked across the grass because she’d rather trample on the yard, like she wasn’t supposed to, then walk down the sidewalk. She nearly tripped over her own feet, mostly because she was concentrating so hard on trying to calm the burning in her sinuses and jam the tears back where they’d come from before they spilled down her cheeks.
By some miracle, half-blind from her eyes pooling up with tears she was NOT going to cry, Teela reached her car. She fumbled with the handle before she remembered she’d locked it because her parents made her paranoid and she always locked her car. She pulled her keys out of her pocket and managed to jam it into the lock.
She slid in, pounded the lock back in place and started her car.
The banging on her window nearly gave her a heart attack and she whirled to the side. Ross was there, in his bare feet. He looked sorry, but the doubt in his eyes was still obvious. He only half believed her. Maybe once upon a time she would have got out of the car and told him that she forgave him for acting like a child and hearing what he wanted to hear, which was really damn convenient to his the whole world is out to get me theory. Once upon a time, but not now.
Screw that.
She’d had enough assholes to last her a lifetime.
Guys like him were the reason she decided to stay single in the first place. Guys like him suckered her in, earned her trust and then hit her right when she was most vulnerable. Guys like him liked to kick a person when they were down. She wasn’t going to give him the chance.
He’d said they could be civil once the baby was born. Which meant she had a six months’ grace period, so as she pulled out, leaving Ross standing at the end of his driveway, she rolled down her window and flipped him the bird. Take that, asshole.
And no, she wasn’t the least bit sorry. Just like her heart didn’t hurt. Just like it didn’t feel like there was yet again, a huge gaping hole in it.
CHAPTER 23
Ross
It took a few days, but Ross realized he’d screwed up. Big time. In the most epic way possible. Teela called him on his bullshit. Bullshit he didn’t even realize was ruling his life. He was letting his fears and his past ruin his life. If he went to a shrink, they probably would have said that he had some major trust issues and they’d be right.
The truth was, he was scared. He was scared of being hurt again. He kept expecting it to happen and he went off at the first indication that something wasn’t quite right. He didn’t give Teela the benefit of the doubt. Just like before.
Even though he knew her enough to know that it wasn’t true.
Deep down, he didn’t actually believe what he’d heard. He didn’t want to think she’d conceived a child as a get rich quick scheme. She didn’t seem like she was the type, but he’d been burned so many times before he let that cloud his judgment.
He should have listened harder. He should have asked her what was really going on. He should have stayed to listen to her side of the story.
She’d proved him wrong once before.
She’d come to his house and fought to defend herself.
When she’d flipped him off, it was perfectly clear that she didn’t need him in her life. She’d tolerate him for their child’s sake, but she didn’t need his money. She didn’t need the things he could provide for her. She didn’t need him period.
No one had ever peeled out and flipped him the bird before. No one. That finger flying high in the nig
ht air got through to him in a way that words couldn’t. That and the fact that Teela quit her job. Again. She’d also disconnected her number. Or changed it.
Yeah. She really didn’t need his ass.
She was proving it to him, one step at a time.
Ross scrambled to come up with a plan, a way to apologize, a way to fix things and move on, and not just because they were having a baby.
Because it had been two weeks since and they’d been the worst two weeks of his life. It shouldn’t hurt so much to lose someone that he’d known for such a short period of time, but it did. It felt like he was bleeding out.
He’d never met someone where it was just so right. He never thought that being without them could be so wrong. Time didn’t change the truth, and the truth was that he and Teela just fit. They just did.
The only thing that he could do was take a chance that Teela was still at her condo. He didn’t think she could have moved in four days, but hell, he wasn’t underestimating her either.
Ross pulled up outside the complex and his chest nearly caved in with relief when he spotted Teela’s car parked out front. She was still there. Which meant maybe, just maybe, he had one more chance.
He realized, as he rang her bell, how much courage it had taken for her to come to his house and confront him. And how cowardly he’d been to avoid her. Of course, he was going to tell her all those things…
“Go away!” Teela’s voice floated out right above his head. Ross stumbled back and glanced up. He couldn’t see her since the windows didn’t jut out, but he knew she was there. She’d cranked her bedroom window open and she could no doubt see him.
“We have to talk,” Ross spoke to the air, aware that he must look like a perfect moron at the moment. “Please. Can you open the door?”
“I don’t have anything to say to you and you don’t have anything to say to me. You’re so caught up in your stupid past and your schemes about the whole world being out to get you and use you for your money that you won’t even listen to reason or be rational. You’re always going to be like that, so I don’t know what you have to say. I’m not going to waste my life on someone who doesn’t know that I’m a good person.”
“Wait!” Ross called, afraid that she was going to slam the window and that would be that. “I do know. I’m sorry! I- I came here to tell you that I am an idiot. I do have issues. I know that. I didn’t listen to everything. I didn’t ask your side. I made stupid conclusions and I acted like a bratty kid and pouted about it and then blew up on you when you showed up. I’m the one acting like the pregnant woman with all the crazy hormones. My parents would kick my ass and disown me if they found out I messed this up, especially because I can’t get over my own insecurities. They’d be willing to adopt you instead, though. Just so you know.”
Silence. Not one word. Had she already closed the window? Ross stepped back, trying to angle his face up so that he could see if Teela was still there, but the blinds were drawn on the window and if she was, he couldn’t see past the white slats.
“Dude. That’s pretty fucking rank,” a voice drifted down from the other side of the building.
Ross whirled to see a burly middle-aged man with a full-on beard and a shaved bald head, squinting at him through the neighboring window. A cloud of blue smoke drifted out.
Apparently, there were more embarrassing things in the world than one’s mother walking in during sex. Whatever. He’d humiliate himself a thousand times over if that’s what it took.
“Teela,” Ross called, ignoring the peeping Tom next door. “I have an SUV full of flowers. I really am sorry. I’ll never forgive myself because… you’re the best person I’ve ever had in my life. I want you to be there. I want another chance. I’ll work hard to prove to you that I can man up and go and get some help or whatever it takes to stop thinking like this. I want a chance to prove to you that I’m in it for the long haul and not just because you’re having our baby.”
“Nice one, dick-wad,” Ross’ number one fan called from the top window. “You sound like a real winner. No wonder she won’t let you in.”
Ross found he had to agree. Normally he’d love to hurl a few choice words back, but then again, he pretty much deserved this. And worse.
“Please, Teela, open the door so I can apologize to you properly. I promise if you give me another chance, I’ll never give you another reason to regret it. I’ll always be there for you, because of the baby, but I want it to be more than that. I want to show you how amazing you are. I- I want to… to spend the rest of my life trying not to be a dick. I…”
“Awww, that’s sweet,” the heckler called.
Ross was about to open his mouth to finally give the guy a piece of his mind, but then the door opened in front of him and Teela stepped out. Her face was blotchy and swollen from crying and her eyes were red-rimmed. She had a pink fluffy bathrobe on, and her hair was lank and needed to be washed like she hadn’t showered in a few days.
She stepped out onto the doorstep in her bare feet and flipped off the guy in the window. “Mind your own business, Carl,” she called. “Or I’ll tell Joe-Anne about the bike you just bought without her permission.”
“Aww, I didn’t mean anything by it,” Carl called back down. “I thought the guy was a dick. I was just trying to defend your honor.”
“Yeah. Right. Anyway, thanks. Remember, I know about the bike. And about the storage unit. Joe-Anne would be super pissed, seeing as she was adamant you not get one.”
Carl flicked the butt end of his cigarette out the window, slammed it shut, and disappeared in a flash.
Ross gaped at Teela. “What?” She shrugged. “I saw him riding it last week. Right past here, when his wife wasn’t home. I know she’s dead set against him getting a bike. She’s afraid he’s going to get himself killed and she’s probably right because even though he acts all tough, he’s sure as hell not.” She cast an annoyed glance over to the closed window. “I just assumed he was keeping it somewhere else, so she wouldn’t find out about it.”
“Can we please, please, go inside and talk?” Ross was so ready to get off the doorstep so the entire condo complex didn’t have to witness him make a complete ass of himself.
“I don’t think so,” Teela said slowly. She brushed her cheeks like she was trying to wipe away the evidence of tears.
Ross hated that he’d hurt her. He hated that she was crying because of him. He hated that he was such a massive ass-hat that he’d somehow managed to ruin this all on his own. She’d done absolutely nothing. It was all on him.
“Please, Teela. Give me one more chance. I know I don’t deserve it. In fact, I actively don’t deserve it, but you- being with you- it’s the only time I’ve ever felt that things were going to be okay. That they were okay. Like, not life and all that- just- I guess life, but everything. I just felt like- like this was special. I’ve never felt anything like this. It made me stupid. It made me do ridiculous things because I knew I was opening myself up and even though it wasn’t supposed to happen it was, and I just… panicked.”
“For the record, you were the one who kissed me the first time, when we were just supposed to be talking. I didn’t have anything to do with that.”
“You liked it though.”
“That has nothing to do with anything.”
“I know you felt it too. Just a little bit. It wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t just- we didn’t just start this because you’re having a baby. I- my parents adore you. I- I adore you.”
Teela’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “It hasn’t been long enough to tell. Maybe you’re just infatuated.”
“I’m not. Or maybe I am, but it’s not that kind of infatuated. If anything, I’m amazed. I’m amazed at you. At how you’re made. At how you think. At how witty and smart you are. At how… how good you are at your job. At how you hold the place together. At your spirit and your resilience. At… your beauty and your grace and your-”
“Oh, for goodness sakes.” Teela’s cheeks f
lushed pink. She rolled her eyes and retreated back into the house, but she left the door open. “If you’re going to start that, then you better come in. I’m out here in a bathrobe and I look like a hot mess and you’re saying things like that. I don’t want the entire neighborhood to hear this.”
Ross didn’t have to be asked twice.
CHAPTER 24
Teela
Honestly, Teela thought the next time she’d see Ross would be at the lawyer’s office after she had the baby. Not because she wanted money, but because she wanted to solidify a visitation schedule. She knew how excited his parents were for their grandchild and even though her own parents weren’t talking to her yet, she knew they’d come around. She almost missed out on the opportunity of knowing Ross and his family at all, and she wanted both sets of grandparents to know their grandchild.
It was a bit of a surprise to find that Ross was indeed real. That it wasn’t just some crazy hallucination that he’d hollered out how sorry he was to the entire neighborhood. She wished she could pinch him to make sure he was real, but she was pretty sure that wasn’t how that worked, and while Ross might be rich, he wasn’t into inventing clones or holograms of himself to deliver a message.
“I’m-”
“Sorry. I know.” Teela crossed her arms. Ross leaned a little harder against the front door like he needed it there to hold him up. “I get it. But how can we do this, any kind of relationship, if you keep waiting for me to screw up? I feel like I’ll be walking on eggshells or something. Like every time I need anything, you’ll think I’m just trying to scam money out of you.”
“No, I won’t-”
“Seriously? Because this is the second time in like under a month we’re having this conversation.”
“I won’t bring it up again.”
“But you might think it and that’s just as bad.”
“No- Teela, I-”