His comment made my heart warm.
The bartender refilled my glass of wine as Weston continued. “Why don't you come with us tomorrow? I know my family would love to see you again.”
“Weston, that doesn't seem like the best idea.”
“We're in a different state. Your fiancé doesn't have to know.” He gave me a sly smile.
“When we were together, would you have liked it if another man asked me to go have dinner or lunch with his family?” I pouted my lips and shook my head.
“You're right, sorry.” He held up his hands in defeat.
“Can I ask you something?” I wondered aloud after a moment had passed. He nodded. “You fired Paulie?”
Weston shrugged like it was no big deal. “He hit on you.”
“So? That was ages ago.”
“Doesn't matter. My only rule was you come first.” He pulled his eyes away from the condensation on his glass and locked his gaze with mine. It had changed from moments earlier. “I made it clear that you were my number one priority, and I knew he hated it. Said you were a distraction.”
“He’s an ass. I didn’t like him four years ago and I sure don’t like him now.”
Weston raised his drink to mine and I smiled before I took another sip. “You never told me what’s happened in the four years since I’ve seen you. How's your life now? How did you and Jeremy meet?”
Yeah, not happening.
I reached for my glass and took a long swig of wine. Those were questions I didn't want to answer. Hell, I couldn't answer. “Can we not talk about our past? For once you and I are having a conversation that doesn’t involve me storming out on you.”
Weston nodded. He then proceeded to ask me when I knew I wanted to get into public relations. He asked where I thought the future of the band was heading, and he made me promise never to leave SoCal PR as long as he was a client.
I asked him about the music he was writing. He said there was a special song, dear to his heart, that was almost finished. For hours we sat at the bar drinking and bullshitting as though we had been friends for years. As if all the lies and heartache had never happened. I was brought back to when I was in my early twenties and none of the heartache between us had ever happened. With Weston, I felt alive and young. It was a feeling that both elated and petrified me.
I was on my fourth or fifth glass of wine when I realized I had to call it a night. My eyes were heavy and my body was begging for sleep. I yawned and stretched my hands above my head. Weston closed out our tab and led me out of the lobby bar and toward the elevators. I stepped inside the steel car.
“Floor?” Weston asked.
“Fifteen,” I managed to say without slurring.
I held on to the railing and rested my head on the wall. Weston stood across from me, his stance matching mine. “Are you okay?” he asked.
“I think I'm a little drunk.” In my head, the words were clear but I knew as they left my mouth they were a garbled mess. It had been years since I drank this much.
“You look happy.”
“I have no responsibilities right now. I haven’t felt this way since you and I were together.” I opened my arms and overextended against the wall. The length of our history caused the tension in the air to shift, and Weston’s eyes darkened with want. No words were spoken as we walked out of the elevator and Weston led me to my room.
Drunken actions.
Sober thoughts.
The events that followed us as we walked down the hallway were out of pure love.
The hotel had given me a corner suite since I’d booked last minute. I tried to walk with grace down the long carpeted hall, but Weston was at my side the second I stumbled. Giggling, I coiled my hands around his waist and held on. He didn't tighten from the sudden embrace. Instead, he held on to me as though his hand had belonged there all along. We fit together like a perfect puzzle. My head rested on his shoulder as he directed me towards my room. As we walked, Weston hummed a melody; it reminded me of all the times he would sing to me.
“I miss your singing,” I confessed.
“I miss you.” He grasped my hand in his and twirled me away from his body. I was too drunk to follow his lead, so I tripped and laughed. Weston brought me back to him, our bodies flush. “I miss you every single second.”
His words put a swift stop to my laughter and I swallowed the thick air that lingered between us. Weston noticed my abrupt change and spun me once again. The entire time he continued to hum a tune I’d never heard before. Dancing in an empty hallway, Weston managed to sweep me off my feet again, both figuratively and literally.
“I remember you being a much better dancer,” he joked.
I threw my head back and laughed. “I haven’t danced in years. You were the best dance partner.” With one final turn, Weston pulled me towards him and dipped my body. My head tossed back as I kicked one leg up.
Our eyes locked.
Weston slowly lifted me and pushed me against my room door. His calloused fingers tickled my cheek when they brushed my face. Tenderly, he cleared a curl of my hair and pulled it behind my ear. I leaned into his hand and Weston pressed his forehead to mine. With one quick movement, our lips would touch. At that moment, my life outside the Weston bubble didn’t exist.
My eyes closed as I anticipated his lips on mine. I knew what they tasted like, how they felt, and a part of me desperately wanted them. Weston’s breath was warm on my lips, and my breath grew heavy with want. He shifted on his feet to kiss me. It was my last chance to stop this. My heart pounded harder and faster, awaiting his touch. Weston’s lips grazed mine and in that millisecond reality hit me. I’d given Jeremy my word.
“Don’t,” I whispered. This wasn’t right. I was engaged to another man. I needed to put my feelings aside and honor the promise I made to Jeremy. “Please don’t kiss me because I don’t know if I can stop you and we both know this is wrong and it’ll be something we’ll regret in the morning.” I kept my eyes closed as I rambled.
Weston exhaled his full breath. I didn’t know if it was frustration or remorse, but I felt his soft, warm lips on the tip of my nose. “Goodnight,” he whispered.
Gathering my thoughts, I finally had the courage to open my eyes. Weston was gone. I’d done the right thing, I knew that. So why is there a tear escaping my eye?
I opened my hotel room door, chugged some water from a complimentary bottle, and climbed into bed. Though I was exhausted, sleep didn’t come. I tossed and turned for a few minutes and pulled out my cell phone. I found his name on my contact list, then sent Weston a text message.
Me: Goodnight. And thank you for not pushing it.
Weston: I’m going to fight to win you back. Know that. But in the event you change your mind tonight, I’m directly two floors up from you.
I threw my phone across the room, hoping it would shatter into a million pieces—like my heart.
I had to put a stop to this once and for all.
44
EMILIA
Early December.
I no longer recognized myself when I looked in the mirror. I was carrying so much guilt I didn’t know which way was up.
Pointless Statement was ready for the Jingle Fest Concert. Their album was number one on the billboard charts and their success was growing by the second. I complained in passing about working late, and Weston spoke to Brian about hiring me another assistant to help me since it was partially his fault my schedule had become so chaotic.
I picked up Lyra from Pre-K and stopped at the market to pick up a few ingredients for dinner. I’d been feeling guilty about what happened with Weston in Seattle, so I’d been paying a little extra attention to Jeremy. I kept reminding myself that I loved Jeremy; with him Lyra and I had a solid future.
I dropped the grocery bags on the kitchen counter and walked through our conjoined balcony into Jeremy’s bedroom. His suitcase lay open on his bed, his toiletries inside. My heart sank in my chest. Did he know about Seattle?
&nb
sp; You didn’t cheat. You stopped him. No, I hadn’t physically cheated on Jeremy but I’d emotionally deceived him and that was worse. Being in love with another man was worse than cheating.
Jeremy strolled out of his closet. “Hey.” His smile lit up the room. “I didn’t hear you pull up.”
I gave him a weary smile. Guilt sank deep, festered in my bones. I cleared my throat before I spoke. “Are you leaving?”
Jeremy dropped his clothes in his suitcase and erased the distance between us. His hands looped around my waist and he gave me a chaste kiss. “I have to go east for work, so I’ll be gone for a couple of days. I’m sorry for the short notice,” he whispered and kissed my neck.
“Don’t be sorry.” I rested my head on his shoulder. Instantly, my worries vanished.
“I’ve asked Ellen to give you a hand with Lyra.” Jeremy pulled my shirt off my shoulder and gently bit my collarbone. His lips tickled my neck and ear.
“We’ll be fine.” I leaned into him.
Jeremy’s erection slowly grew against my stomach. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Lyra’s home. I picked her up already,” I muttered as Jeremy continued to kiss and tease my skin.
“Later then.” I felt his smile on my shoulder. I nodded in agreement, though when later came and Jeremy reached out for me, I denied him. It had been months since we were intimate.
Weston had successfully inserted a wedge in my relationship with Jeremy.
Lyra was with a sitter for the night because I was at the LA stop of Jingle Fest in the Squib Theater downtown and Jeremy was still out of town. The crowd roared when the guys took the stage. I felt their cheers and screams deep in my bones. My eyes glassed with tears of excitement; it was like watching your child take her first step. This was their dream and I had front row seats.
I hated to admit that every time I watched Weston on stage I fell in love with him all over again. His persona, his voice, all of it was captivating. Nothing mattered but my love for that man while he sang. And every woman in there agreed with me.
They had rocked the house down and there were only a few songs left. Weston was singing through a chorus when a pair of strong hands laced around my waist I jumped with fright, my palms pressing to my heart as it tried to hold it from jumping out of my chest. Jeremy laughed and leaned over to kiss me.
“Didn't mean to scare you,” he shouted over the music.
“What are you doing here?” I asked and then peeked up at the stage. Weston’s face changed when he noticed Jeremy standing behind me. “I thought you didn’t come home until tomorrow.”
“You worked your ass off to get these guys here. You invested all your time. I wouldn't miss your big night.” He smiled down at me with a proud grin.
Remorse weighed in my chest. Jeremy had no clue how much I had invested in Weston’s career. Enough to lie about a child. I rubbed my hand up his cheek and turned back to the stage. Jeremy’s hands snaked around my bodice, and I let the heavy weight on my chest pull me down.
I was a liar.
Forget lying to protect those you loved most. I was now lying to keep afloat.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other as the guys continued to play. What had drawn me to them before Jeremy arrived did nothing to heighten my mood now. Jeremy swayed our bodies to the beat of the music, and songs began to blend as one. Oblivious to it all, my mind replayed all the times I had been with Weston. Though I would spend the rest of my life in the arms of another man, I imagined a life with Weston. Our family. Him with Lyra.
I was spiraling into a dark hole with no light in sight.
The crowd grew quiet and I looked up at the stage. Weston had slung his guitar over his shoulder and dragged a stool to center stage. It was their last performance of the night. “How’s everyone feeling tonight?” Weston’s voice bellowed through the arena. Cries and screams from the audience pierced my ears. He laughed into the microphone. “I want to thank you all for coming out tonight. This has been a dream come true for us.” The lights in the arena dimmed. “I know that the set list says our last song is Without You, but I wanted to share a new song we’ve been working on.”
Weston strummed his guitar … Axel gently tapped on the drums … The arena went dark … The only light was on Weston as he stroked his guitar with a low melody. “This is to you, my love, my everything.”
The arena grew silent as Weston brought his lips to the microphone and closed his eyes. His fingers moved eloquently up and down the neck of his guitar. In the background, I could make out Travis playing the keys.
You see … when you lose someone you love … it tears you down.
It strips you of your hopes and dreams, your body shuts down.
But the love I have for you is unbreakable.
My lungs desperately needed air. The melody was the one he’d hummed in the hotel hallway.
When I see the sun on the horizon, I feel the pain
I know I’m not going to make it unless I see your face.
My love is unbreakable.
Unbreakable
Our love is unbreakable.
Unbreakable
The love we shared I thought was unbreakable . . .
The love we had was supposed to be forever,
But in time it turned to never.
The memories we have don’t live like we do.
Even when you try to run away from them, they still find you.
Never did I imagine that I would lose you.
Now you’re gone, and I tried to get you back,
I would die to get you back.
I never knew what love was until we said goodbye,
But now I’ll see your pretty eyes.
Lyra Skye.
A shiver ran through me and my vision blurred with tears. This was the song he’d been working on. This was about our little girl.
I hate that you hold my soul,
I love that you make me whole,
I never wanted to see you go.
My love is unbreakable.
Our love is unbreakable.
Weston’s eyes locked with mine. Tears dripped down my cheeks, but I couldn’t pull my gaze away.
The love we shared I thought was unbreakable.
You sat and cried, said you decided with your heart.
Leaving mine shattered to find its way in the dark.
The love we shared was one in a million, never lied, nor cheated.
Though you cried and repeated that our love was defeated.
I never saw it coming. You walking out of my life was a blindside.
I wanted nothing more than to give you my lifetime.
Why would you walk away and leave my side?
Now you’ll never see her pretty eyes.
Lyra Skye.
I hate that you hold my soul,
I love that you make me whole,
I never wanted to see you go.
My love is unbreakable.
Our love is unbreakable.
I remembered that Jeremy was behind me, but a quick glance told me he was gone. I wanted to run after him, but my feet felt as if I’d stepped in quicksand, and led me toward Weston.
The love we shared I thought was unbreakable.
You had me tripping, choking, needing to find a way to breathe.
Without any hesitation, you decided that you needed to leave.
Where did I go wrong, I treated you like my queen.
I would do anything to return and be your king.
You only wanted to argue about the bad times,
Crying, reliving the sad times.
We spent our nights kissing, hugging and snuggling,
How can you turn around and act like it’s nothing.
What happened to our plans?
What about writing invisible love letters on our hands?
What about our future, already named daughter,
The one we’ll never see, Lyra Skye Carter.
Weston’s face looked as though it was i
n pain as he said her name.
I never knew what love was until we said goodbye,
Now we’ll never see her pretty eyes.
Goodbye.
When I see the sun on the horizon, I feel the pain
I know I’m not going to make it unless I see your face.
My love is unbreakable.
Unbreakable
Our love is unbreakable.
Unbreakable
The love we shared I thought was unbreakable.
Unbreakable.
The lights dimmed and I sobbed. The crowd cheered, begging for an encore. I needed air. I needed to gain my bearings. I needed Jeremy.
Oh my God, Jeremy.
I sprinted after him; the world around me seemed to pass in a blur as my heart sped in my chest. My flats pushed off the hard floor as I ran after him. “Jeremy, wait!” I cried out to his back. “Please! Jeremy, let me explain.”
He pivoted toward my cries. His fists were balled at his sides and rage boiled on his face as he stalked back to me. “She's his?” he barked.
“Jeremy …” My eyes swelled with unshed tears. Jeremy scanned my eyes as if looking for answers he already guessed. I reached to touch him, but he pulled away.
“No! It all makes sense now.” He ran a rough hand through his long, chocolate hair. “It’s the reason you won't let me adopt her. You knew who her father was this whole time! You lied to me. You lied repeatedly!”
“Let me explain.” I grasped his hand when he turned to leave, but he tugged it away.
“No! You’ve been working with his band for months. Months! And never once did it cross your mind to tell me?” His eyes were black with rage. “I'm going to be your husband. Your fucking husband! You’re planning to spend the rest of your life with me and you didn't think this was something I needed to know?”
Love Letter Duet: The Encore Edition Page 25