The other lady would listen; this lady will listen and know. He just had to wait until dark, that’s all. Iggy just had to do his best to be quiet and still, waiting for the sun to go away. Waiting quietly for things to go away was a talent of the homeless. When you’re homeless, there isn’t a clock, and there isn’t a time. There is day and there is night; the rest is just waiting for nothing or something to happen.
Rafael
His mom sat on their couch pretending to watch TV, but Rafael could tell she was staring at the wall. Sometimes, he would pretend to watch TV with her and stare at the wall too. He didn’t know why she did it and he didn’t know why he felt that he should do it also, but sometimes he did.
Rafael sat in his chair and followed the chunks of sunlight through the blinds. He had a full belly, his legs hurt from following the man around, and he was ready for sleep. But, he knew his mom wouldn’t notice it was his bedtime until the sun went down. He loved her and didn’t want to interrupt her staring at the wall. He followed chunks of sun coming from the blinds and wished it would get dark quick. He needed darkness so his mom would notice the TV. If she noticed the TV, she would notice it was dark, then eventually notice Rafael waiting and put him to bed.
He wanted to put himself to bed, but he loved her and wanted her to feel like he needed her even though he often wondered if he really did. When he thought that, his little boy heart would hurt. She wasn’t the best of moms, but he wasn’t the best of kids; they needed each other. And he loved her.
Getting to Know the Marks 5
Lisa
Lisa felt a chill in the air and something seemed wrong. It was the kind of chill that came from a freezer when the temperature was set too low. It was not a natural chill, and it felt unkind. It lingered on her skin and bit the tip of her chin.
Then, she heard her front door open. Her back bedroom window opened. The window to her kitchen opened and suddenly on her porch, the first Mother appeared. Silently, six of them walked into her living room together; they closed all of the blinds. They nodded at her to stand up and pointed for her to stand in the middle. Lisa watched all of the Mothers’ eyes. They stared directly at her, none flinching, none darting this way or that. None were curious about her apartment. They stood perfectly straight—not a slouch among them, not a wrinkled shirt in the bunch.
“Dear Lisa,” said a Mother with a name tag that read Julie. “Oh Lisa dear… Superior Mother is concerned.” with that Julie gave Lisa a nod and a wrinkled brow. “It seems you’re not moving along very quickly and well… tick tock Lisa love. Time to get things ready.” She coughed then and sniffed the air, acting like she was gagging and about to vomit, which made the other Mothers sniff the air and give each other displeased looks. “Of course,” said Mother Julie still gagging, “You should have already had things ready. Always ready to be ready,” she said with a big smile, as if she had said something incredibly clever, something that would be quoted for generations to come.
Lisa smiled, “Ready to be ready.” Julie gagged again, sniffed Lisa, and then pulled away, still with a smile on her face. Those disgusted smiles are the most devious of expressions. A smile is the biggest lie a face can tell.
“Lisa, have you eaten flesh? It is forbidden among The Grey. If you have eaten flesh, Superior Mother might forgive, but you’d be ordered to purge…Purging, Lisa, is nasty business.” Julie wrinkled her nose and glanced at the other Mothers in the room. They all returned the wrinkled nose and frown. “Purge ick, Lisa flesh, ick Lisa…Icky choices you might have made instead of working on your marks.” with that, Julie sucked in her breath, shrugged, and tossed her hands up in the air.
Lisa was furious, but sucked it into her core. “I’ve worked on my marks. I have names, locations, and an understanding of their schedules. I have made friends with two of them and the other two… well, it’s hard to explain. I can’t really make friends with them, but I…”
Julie put up her hand and closed her eyes before she spoke with a gigantic smile on her face, “Humans are difficult, we understand.” With that all the Mothers nodded and gave Lisa a small smile.
“They are gross, emotional, unorganized, big hot messes,” Lisa justified. Julie offered a polite giggle and rolled her eyes.
“We understand that Lisa; all Mothers have had a mission before we have become who we are now. We have all been in the same situation as you. You tell them to turn left and they turn right. You tell them to sit, be quiet, and behave, but they insist on speaking.” With that Julie let a small frown escape her face. “They insist on speaking Lisa. They have the understanding of chimps and the tongue of fools. Dirty, busy things these humans. Nevertheless, Superior Mother sends us out among them from time to time." Julie dusted off her slacks and gave a giggle. “Bothersome creatures these humans… and the male ones are the worst. They smell, they yell, they tell these jokes that well… aren’t funny.”
Lisa stood straight; she didn’t budge, but wanted to sit. This was the most a Mother had ever spoken to her in her life. The Mothers don’t believe in wasting time and conversation with someone below them is seen as just that. Lisa couldn’t understand if their openness to speak to her now was a sign that she was going to reach her goal of becoming a Mother amongst The Grey or that she was in deep trouble and this retort was the one lucky break she got.
“Lisa…” a different Mother with a ‘Polly’ name tag smiled now. Her smile was different—not so large, it was smaller and less forced. “There are less than two months to go now. You will make the most of this time, and you will not fail us. We all want you to come back to The Grey accomplished. Failure, Lisa dear, is well… disappointing and not worth our time.” Polly smiled and clapped her hands together. “Now, Lisa sleep.”
Lisa remembered no more than just the faint chant, “We are all the same and none different.” Over and over again. Suddenly, it was morning and she knew all that she must now do.
Craig
Morning already…the freaking sun never goes away anymore. Drinking his coffee, Craig had decided that his day sucked. It hadn’t happened yet, but he was sure that if you picked his day apart bit-by-bit and then put it back together again, all the pieces would suck. His coffee sucked, his shoes sucked, his shirt sucked, the air he was breathing sucked, the earth, the heavens, and all the universe could hold sucked.
Taking another drink of his sucky coffee, Craig knew he should head out the door and begin the inevitably lame day, but his shitty attitude mixed with his sucky coffee kept him glued to his chair. That’s when the doorbell rang. Craig’s first thought was to get his gun. His second thought was to ignore the ringing of the doorbell, but since he had already determined that his day would only be lousy, whoever was at the door couldn’t really fuck it up any more.
There she stood holding a travel mug of coffee and smiling at him. “Lisa? What the fuck, coffee?” Lisa smiled at him and handed him the travel mug of coffee. “Friends,” she said, kind of like a statement, but sounding like a question when she handed the coffee over. Craig was completely flabbergasted. He took the coffee and, for lack of decent judgment, invited her in. He told her to have a seat at his kitchen table and then stared at her while sipping the equally sucky coffee. This coffee sucks too… goddamn, can anything fix this day?
“Friends hang out… do things together. I need a friend. I thought maybe you and I could be friends?” Lisa sat up straight and grinned at him as if she had said something monumentality profound. It also seemed a bit rehearsed like something she saw on a morning news program.
Jesus fucking Christ, this chick is not your average chick—not obvious at all. Not usual. Craig was staring at her and he knew he was giving her the WTF look, but couldn’t help it. Women didn’t do this with him.
“Lisa, I’m not an interesting guy. I’m not good with people. I don’t have a clue how to hang out.” Craig was reaching into the deepest part of his brain just trying to figure out what exactly to say to this woman.
“No wor
ries, neither do I.” With that, Lisa stood up and nodded at Craig. “Tomorrow afternoon, you and I will hang out…whatever that means. I’ll research it.” If only Craig knew that Lisa truly meant that. She smiled, frozen at the doorway. “This day hasn’t totally sucked…you got a free travel mug, didn’t you?” Lisa walked out and left Craig in shock.
Craig never left his chair, or said a word, or even waved goodbye to her. He was entirely confused. Every fiber of his manhood was confused. What the hell was that about? What the hell just happened? He was minding his own business, thinking about how horrible his day was going to be when Lisa came along and tossed him upside down, shook him, and put him back in his chair. Craig stood up, angrily grabbed his travel mug and left for work. He held the mug tightly, grumbling at it, but not letting it go.
Maggie
The smell of sugar, cinnamon, and coffee made Maggie sick to her stomach. Most people would love that smell, but Maggie preferred the smell of roasting meat and pine cleaner. Living day in and day out with the smell of sweet stuck to her like a parasite. Maggie knew hating it was useless; whether she hated it or not there she stood, and there she would stand. The baker barked at her from the kitchen and the costumers greeted her happily. The farm workers that got up before the sun and went to bed way after the sun—wrapped in layers of clothing with sun burned skin and tired looking eyes—always greeted her with enthusiasm while getting their café y pan dulce.
Watching the field workers come in chatting and laughing always made Maggie want to throw a bucket of tea on the baker, give him the finger, and leave with the field workers. But, that invisible hand always held her back and the invisible mouth always told her that she was too old for field work; her body couldn’t take it; her allergies couldn’t handle the dirt; and that, when all the others chatted together, she would be the silent slug that everyone pretended wasn’t being silent or a slug.
Maggie closed her eyes and pictured herself in that field telling the invisible hand and mouth to relax, she knew she couldn’t go. When she opened them, Lisa was smiling at her.
“Hola!” Lisa was going to talk to Maggie and wouldn’t give her a chance to answer, just like she did to Craig. She realized that it was best to not give her marks too much time to think things through; it was better to catch them off guard. So, Lisa wrinkled her nose and gave Maggie a concerned look
“I want to go to church…mmmm iglesia? I want to attend misa? But, with somebody. I think Sunday we go together? What time do I meet you? Que tempo?”
Maggie looked at her, really looked her. Y tu, que chingados quere? “Misa?” is all that came out of Maggie’s mouth, she wanted to say, “Fuck you puta.” But only the word, misa came out. Lisa nodded, she knew Maggie did not want to do this, but she also knew that Maggie would do anything at that moment to get Lisa to go away.
“But, I go to mass in Spanish,” Maggie smiled because she figured that would be the deal breaker for this white girl.
“Perfecto, I’m trying to learn Spanish. I remember misa was at ten. I’ll see you Sunday at ten in front of the church.” With that, Lisa gave Maggie a wave goodbye and left the donut shop. Maggie stood there watching her leave and then stared at her back walk down the street. “Pinchi white girls.” White girls were always stubborn and thinking they knew shit. Why did this woman pick me? is all Maggie wanted to know.
The only solution was to close her eyes again and hopefully realize that she was just day dreaming and that it all would go away. But, when her eyes opened, she saw nothing but Don Pedro staring at her with a worried look on his face.
“Chingado,” Maggie slammed the coffee pot back into place.
Lisa
Lisa left Craig’s feeling good and left the donut shop feeing even better. It was time she stopped toeing the water and just dive in. The tick-tocking in her brain made her feel manic and uncertain. She questioned herself too much. It was time to really build a bond with her marks, but she wished she knew why she had these emotions and sentiments always popping into her mouth, hands, and back. How do these humans get anything done with the weight of emotion sitting on their shoulders? It was ghastly.
Lisa had her list of marks and was told to have these marks at a certain place and time. The Date was fixed in stone. All else was on an as needed basis and this drove Lisa crazy. What kind of relationship did she need? Why would she have them there and then? Lisa blew out her mouth and shook her head. She needed to focus and not get caught up in trying to understand the methods of the Mothers; she needed to just accept the ways of The Grey. She was born to The Grey and was one of them; there was no other way. There was no way to become human, there was no way to leave The Grey. She had to stop questioning and start doing.
Lisa walked into the super market and bought herself a couple of apples.
Iggy
Sometimes when Iggy passed out around town, he’d wake up with stuff he didn’t have before: a bag of clean clothes tied to his wrist, money in his pocket. Iggy never understood where they came from. He always wondered if it was the ghost of his mother.
Iggy yawned and rolled his eyes. Looking around the dusty, hot parking lot, all he could think about was ocean waves—cool, salty ocean water. If he could just get to the beach, he could jump in the water and swim out until he drowned. He’d drown a happy man far away from the sidewalks and the dust of Feline Street. Lost in his daydream of being lucky enough to drown himself, Iggy felt a thump on his lap and it was a beautiful red apple. Looking up he saw Lisa with another apple in her hand, holding it just above his reach and waiting for him to look at her.
“If you run, you don’t get this apple…” Iggy grabbed the apple on his lap and stared at the one dangling from her hand.
“More ladies came, right? Right?” Iggy wanted that apple in her hand badly, but he wanted answers from the demon. He dreamed the town was full of ladies. He dreamed they were in the streets, in the parking lot, and in his secret hiding hole. Lisa rolled the apple in her hands and looked at it deeply. She was completely shocked that he knew some of the Mothers had come. Lisa didn’t know they were coming and Lisa didn’t know when they left. How could this filthy, homeless man know such things? Finally, Lisa looked at Iggy, “You saw them? Yes, more ladies came, but they left. How did you know?” Iggy watched the apple in Lisa’s hand with the intensity of a hawk.
“I saw ladies in my brain when I was sleeping. Left? Left? When left?” Iggy looked around the parking lot sneaking peeks at the apple Lisa was dangling from the stem. It was the perfect shade of red. “No leave. Never leave. Always around. One is always around…ladies still here…somewhere.” With his ‘somewhere’ Iggy popped up grabbed the apple from Lisa’s hand and ran off.
“They stay…ladies stay,” He yelled at Lisa and kept running down the block, not noticing that someone had tied a plastic bag with clothes in it to his ankle. Lisa wrinkled her nose and let him run off; she was wondering if he or someone else had tied the plastic bag to his ankle. Who did those things for Iggy? Would it be someone she had to worry about?
When Iggy was no longer in sight, Lisa got the creeps. “Ladies still here, somewhere,” she told the cars in the parking lot, and they all looked away pretending that she didn’t say that out loud.
Rafael
Rafael’s mom pretended Rafael was still asleep. She knew he wasn’t asleep and she knew it was her day off work, so he wanted to stay home and hide in the house with her. She looked at him briefly, then left to drink coffee and stare at the newspaper. She mostly looked at the pictures in it, wondering why any of it mattered. None of it mattered to her. Why would it matter to anyone? To Rafael’s mom, life was better lived in ignorance of the outside world. Her rent was paid, her refrigerator was almost full, everyone else was everyone else.
Eventually she would go get Rafael, feed him breakfast, and let the ghost boy hide at home with her. What good was school to this boy anyway? At his school they had meetings, schedules, and plans etc., etc., for Rafael’s education.
This meant nothing to her; she knew that he’d never have a job, never pay rent, and when she was dead, he’d live on the streets like her brother. The boy was born a shadow, without a soul; he would never come to light no matter how many schedules they gave him. It was all as pointless as the newspaper in her hand.
Lisa
Rafael never came out of the house for school this morning and this made Lisa itch. Her tongue was itchy and it was because that kid didn’t get up and go to school on a Wednesday like all the other kids. Everything had been going so well with her marks and now this. Today was the day she was going to win that kid over.
He walked to school every day. She had been watching and keeping track, now today nothing. Now, she wanted to catch him after school, but she had told Craig they’d “hang out,” whatever that meant. She heard it on a TV show. She had researched it on the internet.
The girls of The Grey were not given internet access. It seemed to Lisa that there was too much internet—too much access too everything. There was no need to daydream of anything anymore, it was already there on the internet. The Grey are fiercely private for so many reasons. Privacy is something taught early on in The Grey, yet humans give away their privacy like it’s something dirty. Getting online felt intrusive to Lisa—everybody’s everything was there for the world to see and that bothered her to the point that she rarely used it. Looking through the internet, she had concluded that it did nothing but fill everyone’s head with rubbish.
Lisa rolled her tongue around her mouth trying to solve the itch that wasn’t going away. She wanted to pound on Rafael’s door and ask his mother where he was and why. Instead, Lisa walked back to her apartment. She walked in and went straight to her bathroom; she knew what she was going to do. She was going to rebel against everything she had been taught. She was going to waste time and waste resources.
Women of the Grey- The Complete Trilogy Page 9