And yet, she was kept in a lab and experimented on, because she was not the same as the rest of them, just slightly different. NO, Teresa couldn’t allow the emotion of that to take over. Being a Woman of the Grey, she should know better by now. Emotions, feelings, and thoughts were a waste of time. Wasting time was wasting resources.
Gripping the side of the counter, Teresa almost laughed, realizing that she too was a resource, a source of valuable information. The Originals never saw Teresa as a daughter of The Grey. They only saw data.
On her knees now, Teresa put both hands on the counter and pulled herself up. Her eyes level with the counter, she saw a mirror attached to the wall right in front of her. As Teresa pulled herself up and stood, she watched her image rise as well.
Her blond hair was gone. Her head was bare, but not shaven. There was no stubble there. Instead, there was faint short strands. When had all her hair fallen out? She had the same blond hair that everyone in The Grey did. Now, her remaining hair was sparse, as if single strands had been randomly glued all over her head.
She wanted to feel her head, but didn’t want to risk letting go of the counter. The trembling in her legs was fierce. She wouldn’t be able to hold herself up with one hand. The trembling came from her diminished physical state, but also from anguish. Her face was shrunken; her eyes seemed beady, and her ears now stuck out too far. She no longer looked like Teresa. What stared back at her was a tortured creature. A thing with no value. No humanity.
Staring at herself Teresa wondered if everyone’s ears stuck out this far? Had she never noticed? She looked down at her chest. Teresa was emaciated. Her breasts, which were moderately sized before, now hung loosely. But the sight of her breasts, or her rib cage poking out, didn’t break Teresa.
Neither did the fact that she was almost bald, or that her eyes were now sunken deep within her skull. The skeletal woman looking back at her didn’t break Teresa down until she saw the scars. Scars of every time she had been opened covered her, from right below her breasts to her hips.
Teresa’s eyes rested on the scars. The cuts were done carelessly, without regard for the marks they left behind. It was just more evidence that Teresa was nothing to the Originals — nothing but a lab animal.
There were scars covering other scars. Scars that she could tell had been reopened and closed again. Again, and again, the line of scars spread over Teresa like insults. She cried lightly at first, then the heaving started. Teresa was back on the floor, face to the ground, sinking into sobs.
She rolled herself over, putting her hands on her belly and feeling the length of every scar. There were so many that her fingers would be confused, losing their way from one painful incision to the next. It was a road map of terror, evidence of the inhuman way they viewed and treated her.
How could they do such a thing to their own kind? Teresa’s face was lying on the floor against her tears. It was as if she laid in her own grief. There was no recovery from this. How could she be nursed back to health? It wasn’t possible. She was scarred beyond healing, both inside and out.
Reaching out, Teresa dragged herself back to Uni. Clawing her body through her tears, smearing them on herself like paint. When Teresa had finally dragged herself through the membrane of Uni, its tentacles shot forward, jabbing her quicker than usual. It was then that Teresa heard the door click.
Floating inside Uni, Teresa watched one of the Originals come into the lab, paying her and Uni no mind. “Of course not,” thought Teresa, “I am nothing but meat to her.” Teresa was about to close her eyes and drift into the void of sleep when she noticed the Original bend over and run its fingers through the water on the floor. Teresa thought that her heart would implode within her. How unfair for her to get caught before she had been given a chance, the chance for liberty.
The Original touched its fingers together and looked up at the ceiling, and then around the room. Teresa watched her, defiantly not closing her eyes. It was a small gesture of bravery, but it was all she had.
Walking over to them, the Original placed a hand against Uni, rubbing it gently. Uni shivered at this. Teresa could feel the vibration through the tentacles. She was petting Uni, soothing it. Teresa watched, fascinated. But Uni was reacting with fear, not pleasure.
She stopped petting Uni, crossed her arms, and looked directly at Teresa. For a moment Teresa felt awe. She was looking at her true form. That true self only occasionally came to life, and Teresa still hadn’t figured out what sparked it.
It was like a human meeting a caveman. Teresa reached for The Original, wanting to touch something so foreign to her. The Original stepped back, as if aghast that Teresa would do such a thing. She watched Teresa, and Teresa locked eyes with her. They were at a standoff.
In a half a breath, the Original leaped forward, forcing its head inside of Uni and placing its face against Teresa’s. Bracing herself, Teresa did not know whether the Original would speak or bite. They rarely spoke, having evolved past the need for that many ages ago.
Putting her forehead against Teresa, the Original shoved her head into Teresa’s. The ice from her skin stuck against Teresa. It pinched and burned simultaneously. Teresa wanted to scream in pain. The burn from the ice was intense enough to kill, but then Teresa heard it. A voice inside her head whispering the familiar and hated word. “Sleep.”
Lisa
Opening her eyes, Lisa could see that Israel was still sleeping. Sitting up, she felt shame. She was supposed to stay awake and guard him. Lisa lovingly put her hand on Israel’s forehead. She did this as if her slight touch radiated with the emotion she felt for him in this moment. It felt like touching fire.
Israel wasn’t sleeping. He was unconscious, and Lisa knew the difference. She had to do something right then. How long had she been sleeping? What kind of damage had she done, leaving Israel in this state?
Again, Lisa scolded herself. She had grown stronger in mind, yes. Stronger in her powers with the cold, but her emotions got in the way of dealing logically with anything. What stupidity. Now, her panic over her shame was doing her no good. There had to a be a focus. She needed to act.
Lisa grabbed Israel by the shoulders and dragged him over to her side of the bed till his head lay in her lap. Shaking her fingers out, Lisa knew what had to be done, but the fear of it spread itself over her. The cold that she could bring forth also brought out the ugly Lisa. The ugly Lisa that wished to bash heads in and strip the bodies of meat. That Lisa was supposed to be kept at bay, never seeing daylight.
That Lisa was the real Lisa, the real Woman of the Grey. When she allowed the cold to pour out of her, the sensation of it took over. As if the cold possessed itself, a deity that from time to time Lisa let out.
Lisa couldn’t trust her frost. She knew if she let it go, it would go wild and this Lisa — the Lisa that held Israel’s hand, that felt the emotions of humans run through her, that was sometimes kind — that Lisa would vanish.
She would be taken over by the cold, and then what would happen to Israel? Would she attack him, clawing him to death? Freezing him, turning him into a human popsicle? She couldn’t be certain that she wouldn’t harm him worse than the fever. Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t.
Placing her hands on his cheeks, the cold was escaping her fingertips, lapping its way over Israel’s skin. “It’s all for you. Everything is for you. I kill for you. I stand up for you. I do everything and anything for you.” Lisa felt the icy tears stick to her cheeks. She hoped that he heard her.
Lisa fingers were now blue from the cold, but she felt no pain. Releasing her cold was like blowing out a breath. It had become natural. Natural, Lisa thought, but deadly. She knew what happened when she went too far with it. When she crossed that line. She was going to cross it here with Israel. Together they would go there, but would he survive it?
“You believe me a monster. That is true, but I am your monster.” Lisa knew speaking to him was worthless. Israel wasn’t hearing her now, and maybe not even whe
n he was awake.
Rocking back and forth, Lisa watched frost develop on Israel’s hair. She stared at his toes, telling herself to bring the cold down to there. Have the frost travel down, cooling Israel. Maybe she could harness the fever.
A twitch started in Lisa’s legs, and she could see her pale human skin pop and grey skin come up. She hadn’t watched it happen before. The shark-like skin appeared and Lisa disappeared. It was terrifying, like the site of an ax headed towards your head.
“I am the monster. I am the monster.” Sobbing, Lisa watched the grey skin from her thigh travel up and down her leg.
How long could she do this? How long could she hold off the savage creature that she was? She felt an ooze on her hips. It was moving up, and soon would hit her chest. When the frost took over her brain, what then? What then?
Muffling a scream, Lisa wanted nothing more than to smash Superior Mother’s skull in. Why not give them the answers they need? Why not tell them what’s safe and where the true danger is? How much better life would be for them all if they knew they could do this, and knew what to do with this cold. How to bind it, to control the frost and use it without killing.
The Grey, with its polished floors, ironed bed sheets and the continual stream of fake grins and lying handshakes. Lisa wanted it gone. She wanted to break it into a trillion pieces, spread it over the world. Blow it away like dust.
Anger bubbled in Lisa she watched Israel’s chest become covered by a layer of ice. She wanted them all dead. All those mothers with their smug attitudes and their “I’m better than you” chatting. Lisa couldn’t stomach it. Looking down at Israel, it was because of them that he struggled.
If it weren’t for The Grey, Israel would still be a whole man. He’d be sane, happily pouring out coffee in his peaceful little coffee shop, a coffee shop that he was proud of. Now they live like rats, moving from town to town, begging and stealing whatever they could while Lisa went around killing her own kind.
She excused it by telling herself she gave them the choice to be free or die. Death or freedom, but was it really? Lisa was lying to herself, believing that giving them the choice made her actions valid.
All lies. Her whole existence was based on lies. Liar Superior Mother. Liar Mothers, and most of all, liar herself. She lied to herself day in and out, telling herself that Israel could one day love her. She knew that wasn’t true, and never would be.
The teeth in Lisa’s mouth were now razor sharp and scraping her tongue. It was coming. That despicable side of Lisa was on its way. How long could she do this before she took a bite of Israel’s face?
Feeling the cut of her teeth, Lisa inwardly screamed at herself. “How could Israel love you? You are a thing. You are not human, yet not completely alien.” She was nothing but a dangerous half-breed loser who pretended day in and out to be a hero, for what? For the man? Was she trying to win over the man?
Lisa was now trembling; her vision had changed. She could see more of the room now, as if she had perfect 360-degree vision. She knew what that was. Her true face was out now. Looking down Lisa could see Israel was frosted over, ice hanging from his eyelashes.
Was his chest moving? Was he breathing? Lisa’s tongue slid across her teeth, sharp little daggers ready to plunge into something juicy. Something meaty. She had never tried before. Was she meant to eat humans? Was that what all this was about? The alien side of her craved the meat of humans? Then why breed with them? Why do that?
The room spun now, and Lisa fell to the side of Israel, losing her touch on him. She jumped off the bed, sprinting to the other side of the room. Lisa found herself crawling up the side of the walls.
Was she on the ceiling? Her view of Israel was different now. She was looking down on him. This was fast, too fast. Lisa’s mind raced. The beast within her was preparing to attack Israel, but the human within Lisa held it back, pleading with it to not kill something she cared for so very much.
How could she go on, if she killed him? She wouldn’t. She couldn’t. Lisa’s tongue escaped her mouth, licking her lips, placing a layer of frosty cold spit over them. It would happen now. She was letting go. If she did there was no coming back. Lisa felt her heart shatter.
Israel opened his eyes in time to see Lisa fall from the ceiling. A noise escaped Lisa. It was the sound of an old car radio on the highest volume possible. She felt her claws let go of the ceiling, bounding for Israel’s throat.
Repulsed, Lisa felt herself lap the frost up and rejoice in the kill that was about to happen. She fell on the bed effortlessly, tongue hanging, claws readied. Rolling over to the side, Israel stood in his weakened state, grabbed a lamp from the table and smashed Lisa across the face with it, knocking her off the bed to the floor.
Israel watched as a small patch of skin on Lisa’s face turned pink again. Grabbing his backpack, he quickly pulled out some rope. While Lisa was confused from the hit, Israel bound her hands and feet. Bound Lisa started to calm. She watched her vision change. Her eyes must be shrinking back into place.
The razor-sharp teeth disappeared before his eyes. Israel fell to his knees then slid down on the floor.
Shoving her face into the mattress, Lisa sobbed. Where would they go from here? He’d always have nothing but fear for her. He’d never love her. Lisa couldn’t even love herself.
Rolling to her side Lisa, listened to her breathing She felt the cold start to shrivel back inside her, cowardly retreating to its locked-up domain within her. Lying in the fetal position, Lisa stared at the wall. Her life had always been nothing but a question mark. Could she learn to accept that no one loved her, or would ever love her?
There was no love in The Grey. Everything was a chore, something to get done so they could go about their day. That included the daughters of The Grey. The tiny chance for human love Lisa might have known was now gone.
Why did it matter? She didn’t understand why she was so fixated on emotions. Why did she care if anyone loved her? She didn’t need to be loved. She didn’t need to give it, either. Love wasn’t food, air, shelter. It was a thing of luxury that humans give to one another for entertainment.
What was she thinking? All these months lost on digging deeper into the feelings of her human side. She should have honed this savage killer within her. She didn’t have time for feelings.
“You can untie me now, it’s over.” Lisa felt Israel’s hand on her feet. Then he sat on the bed next to her and undid the ropes that held her hands. Getting off the bed, Lisa walked over to the chair and sat. Israel and Lisa calmly regarded each other, not knowing what to do next.
Sunny
Kia felt her bottom tingle. She’d been sitting for a long time. The mothers were crabby today, keeping the girls at their desks longer than usual. Kia wanted to speak up and tell them that her legs itched to move and she was very thirsty, but she wouldn’t dare.
It was too easy to get a sneer if she asked too much of a mother. Sneers led to bad things. Kia figured it was better to be thirsty than get into trouble. She looked up from her desk as often as she dared.
Kia snuck looks from one little girl to the next, all the same, none different. That’s what the mothers say, but it’s not true. Sunny told Kia that she was not the same as them all and she knew this to be true. Sunny felt like a bomb. Any minute Kia expected to see Sunny explode.
Was it bad that Kia liked that? She wanted Sunny to explode. Maybe if Sunny exploded, Kia could get up and drink water whenever she wanted without nasty looks from a mother.
“Alright, darlings,” Mother Moria stood in front of the girls. “I think it’s time you rest those gorgeous heads of yours.” She waved at them to stand. “Go to your quarters till dinner. This lady needs a break.”
The girls obediently stood. Kia made sure not to hurry or show how fed up she was. A furrowed brow could draw attention to her right away. Attention in The Grey was not something coveted. Kia learned long ago that quietly sneaky was best.
If she went unnoticed, she’d be less
likely to get into trouble. The mother walked up to the front of the classroom with exaggerated sighs, as if her day had been back breaking and tedious. She had done nothing all afternoon but keep her nose in a book while the girls did endless pages of math.
Kia was the last one leaving the classroom. She did this on purpose, wanting to steal one final look at the mother who was playing teacher today. One foot out the door and another in the classroom, Kia gave a quick look in the direction of the mother.
“She was smearing the blood on her belly.” Sunny’s eyes crinkled a bit as she nodded at Kia. Sunny always had questions, and Kia was more than happy to answer them for her friend. Kia considered Sunny her only true friend. She could tell Sunny anything. Kia was sure of it.
“Why do they smear it on themselves?” Sunny did her best to act green about what Kia told her. Kia was gullible, but not by much. She couldn’t risk her getting wise to Sunny’s information farming. Kia was Sunny’s ticket out of her cage. She just had to mold Kia into the key that unlocked not only the cage but the whole place.
Sunny was educating herself on The Grey and the mothers’ ways through Kia. She had instantly noticed that Kia never held back; she was a fountain of information. Kia openly gave what Sunny believed to be accurate responses to anything and everything that she asked.
Putting her hand out of the cage, Sunny wiggled her fingers till Kia took her hand. The two girls sat holding hands, chatting about their days like true sisters. Weren’t they sisters, though? Weren’t they all sisters?
Feeling the frozen tidbits of Kia’s fingers in hers, Sunny pushed aside the desire to pull on them, and bite them off. What was wrong with her? Why was there always bloodshed on her brain? She needed to stay focused and wring all the help she could get out of Kia, before Superior Mother took her away.
“Kia, you know in a way you and I are sisters.” Kia’s grip tightened when Sunny said this to her. She was a lost and lonely little girl who felt she had stumbled upon someone to bond with.
Women of the Grey- The Complete Trilogy Page 49