One Menu at a Time

  “What was that for?” I asked.

  “I’m not buying your boldface lies. I think you’re falling for this guy too.”

  “Good grief, you guys are all delusional. Why is it so important for you to see me in a relationship?”

  “Because we want to see you happy. We remember that bouncy, happy girl who was once in love.”

  “Yeah, well, she’s taking the road less traveled this time.”

  “Not this time, kiddo.” She leaned back again, apparently a new stance to show she was serious. She crossed her arms and gave me the stare. “There’s definitely something different about your demeanor since you’ve been working for him.” I remained silent, knowing anything I said might be misconstrued. When Gabi realized she wasn’t going to get a rise out of me, she changed the subject. “Okay, moving right along here. So tell me what you like about your job and what you don’t like.”

  “I’m making money.” I shrugged. “Most of the time he’s very nice, especially to Bailey.”

  “Uh-huh,” she said cunningly with a side-glance.

  I groaned. “Now what?”

  “Nothing.” She grinned. “Just go ahead.” She gestured.

  “Here’s the problem. He’s a celebrity, a real ladies’ man. He’s tried to pull that cutesy crap with me that I’m sure has them all eating out of his hand, but I think he understands that stuff doesn’t work with me.” My excuse sounded good to me. Of course I neglected to tell her about the two kisses and the things that happened to my stomach with a single glance from him.

  “Oh, I have no doubt.”

  “But despite the money I make, I really miss working at a restaurant. I feel so isolated, and longing for the hustle and bustle. This job is nothing more than being his nursemaid.”

  “Minus the official girlfriend title.”

  “Gabrielle, stop it.”

  “Okay, okay.” She laughed. “I’ll be good. Hey, if you want to go back to work in a restaurant, then you should go.”

  “Well, I’m not sure Missy would have approved of that.”

  “Jamie…you’re not Missy. I doubt she expected you to do the same things she did raising Bailey. She knew you were single when she made you guardian and, although I didn’t know her well, I doubt she named you guardian as a means of getting you married.”

  “No, she wasn’t like my other sister.”

  “Why not enroll Bailey in a preschool? My niece is enrolled there and she’s four years old. It would be good for Bailey to be around kids her own age.”

  “You really think I should?”

  “Absolutely. Geez, let her be a kid, for God’s sake. Right now, she’s around adults all the time and that’s not good for her.”

  “Yeah, but what about the hours? I know they won’t be the same as me working at a restaurant.” I paused when the waitress placed the tray of pizza down in the center of the table. “You know that.”

  “Of course I do.” She nodded. “So then you find someone to watch her in your apartment until you come home. As a matter of fact, one of the students at the Widget is looking for work. Stefani Kohl.”

  “Oh, I know Stefani.” I bit into the pizza slice. “Hmm, I’m so tempted, but I did promise him I’d stay.”

  “Okay, so how long could that take? Another six weeks more?”

  “I don’t know. I hope it won’t be any longer than that, but he’s had some mishaps since he’s been home and the doctor added on a few more weeks of recuperating.”

  “Fine. Continue until you’re done, then go back into doing the kind of work you’d rather do. But I’d definitely put Bailey in preschool now so you can see how she does before she goes into kindergarten. If you’re in a restaurant, you won’t be able to leave to get her if she’s not doing well in the school.”

  “That’s a good point.” Missy came to mind. “I guess you’re right about my sister not expecting me to put my life on hold. Now that I think about it, I do recall having a few conversations with her where she was pushing me to live my life. Do you think her mind had already been made up at that point?”

  “Of course it was. Choosing a guardian isn’t something to be taken lightly and certainly not for the type of person Missy was. But, Jamie, let’s face it, Missy wouldn’t have expected you to act like a nun in a convent either.”

  I grinned at her remark. It was true; that was exactly how I was feeling. “Thanks, Gabi. I’ll look into the school. It might take some getting used to having someone watch her while I’m working, but I think I’m going to do it. I’m glad we had this conversation.”

  “By the way, how’s Renee doing?” she asked. “Is she still up to old tricks?”

  “Oh, yeah, but it’s worse than it was before—she’s living in New York now, so she gets to trick me by suggesting all her single male friends might want my service. How’s that for clever?”

  Gabi laughed. “She kills me.”

  “I showed her she wasn’t quite as clever as she thought. The other night at dinner, I chewed their ears off talking about my business so much that they left right after dinner…before the plates were even cleared off the table.”

  I hummed as I unlocked the door to the apartment and entered, making my way into the kitchen, and noticed a note from Cassie hanging on the fridge saying they were already moving furniture into the new place and would probably be sleeping there. I was pretty excited about having the place to myself because Bailey and I would each have our own room.

  I put the kettle on for tea and rushed over to the computer to do a preschool Internet search. Before I knew it, I had found the perfect school. Being excited over the prospects of enrolling Bailey in a program and having some free time washed away my tiredness and I turned on the television, flipping through the channels. Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams were professing their love for one another in The Notebook, and I found myself so caught up in the romance I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. The more I watched, the more I envisioned myself as the leading lady and Chase Walker as the hero. Maybe Gabi was right.

  Admittedly, he came to mind more frequently than I was willing to admit to myself, but I guess it convinced me even more that I was actually falling for him.

  The movie ended and left me feeling empty and telling myself life was too short. I needed to stop being a jerk about this getting involved garbage and at least give myself the chance of a possible romance. Again, I had to admit, I did like the comfort of having a partner, and Chase was right about not every guy being like Ryan. I allowed myself time to dream a little while longer, but ultimately decided my foolish heart had been tricked into believing what I was feeling was real and brushed the thoughts off as being ridiculous. It was his charm and comments that had flattered my ego, but only because he was lonely. Like I’m not?

  Good grief, girl! Now, what exactly were you thinking after watching that movie? It would be disastrous having a boyfriend after a year sabbatical. And geez, getting involved with someone your sister gave her seal of approval? Are you freakin’ nuts? Your reputation would be shot—no one would believe anything you say, ever. Why? You’d be labeled wishy-washy.

  Seriously, get a grip. Relationships don’t work. So chalk it up to the absence of a brain and your silly foolish heart—and get cracking on this recipe. So cook the noodles according to manufacturer’s directions, drain, and set aside.

  Using an electric mixer, add the softened butter, sugar, and softened cream cheese to the bowl and whip on high until light and fluffy. Pour the milk, vanilla, and eggs into a separate bowl and whisk the ingredients together, then add to the cheese batter and beat until blended.

  What? You can’t stop thinking about the possibilities? What is happening to you? I know you promised to continue working for him, but if you keep this up, you’ll really need to get away from him. You know men can’t be trusted. Do your research.

  Okay, stop the merry-go-round thoughts and rinse the noodles again to loosen, making sure to drain the water off. Now toss them with the
raisins into the batter, and using that wrist action again, aerate the mixture with a large spoon until the noodles and raisins are completely covered. Spray the bottom and sides of a 13 x 9-inch rectangular baking dish, pour the mixture into the dish, and spread evenly. Cover and refrigerate overnight to set the kugel.

  Mash the cereal with a fork; pour the melted butter, sugar, and cinnamon over the cereal and toss. Sprinkle evenly over the kugel. Bake at 350 degrees for seventy-five minutes. Remove from oven and allow the dish to sit for twenty minutes before serving. While the dish is still warm, cut into six large squares and serve. Makes six servings as a sweet side dish.

  I listened to the continuous ring before the recorded message played in my ear telling me to call the school on Monday. I suppose I couldn’t expect anyone at the school to be working on the weekend, but it still felt disappointing that I wasn’t able to tie up a dangling loose end on my new plans. Regardless, though, Soranno’s Bakery came to mind and beckoned me to start my day off with a celebratory breakfast for having taken the first step. On the walk over, my stomach gurgled every time I relived the last croissant I’d consumed there, the warm chocolate buttery pastry melting in my mouth and lingering long after I’d swallowed the last morsel.

  My lighthearted mood had me wanting to skip, but I managed to maintain my decorum. I entered the bakery and ordered coffee and my indulgence, convinced I would let nothing and no one ruin this day for me. I sat and opened the newspaper I’d found on the empty seat next to me and began to read while I savored my treat. Practicing self-control instead of scarfing it down was difficult at best, and it wasn’t until I heard a familiar voice call out my name that I stopped enjoying the flavor all together. Shocked, I didn’t immediately turn toward the voice. He repeated my name. The sound of his self-assured voice caused a pain to shoot through me. I gasped when he slid into the seat across from me.

  “Hi, beautiful,” he said, his dark brown eyes sparking from the smile on his face.

  I balled my hands and squeezed tightly to remove the tension building as a reminder to me to act civilized and not jump up and slap him across the face. In a forced calming voice, I leaned forward and addressed him. “Ryan, if you don’t get out of that seat right now, I will call the police and claim harassment.”

  “Jamie, please don’t make me leave. Won’t you at least listen to me?”

  “No. What could you possibly say that would make me feel better about you?” rushed from my mouth in a flash of words. I inhaled and answered my own question. “Not a thing, so please leave.” I turned my head away and eyed the filled room, wondering if my warning to him had caught anyone’s attention. Fortunately, it had not.

  His head lowered as though I’d wounded him. Yeah, right—I’d wounded him.

  “Please don’t make me leave. I need to relieve this heavy burden of guilt I’ve carried around for a year without owning up to my mistakes. I need you to know what I’m feeling.”

  “Why should I care now? You lost that right a long time ago.”

  “C’mon, please…just hear me out.” I clamped my mouth shut as more tension rushed through my veins. “Running into you this morning was fate. It was supposed to happen like this—to stop me from procrastinating another minute to say what I should have said long ago. I’ve needed to tell you how sorry I am for hurting you, but I couldn’t muster up the courage.”

  “You mean just like the courage that eluded you when you ran away with another woman on my dime?”

  “I know, I know,” he huffed out. “I deserve the wrath you’re dishing out on me.” He gave me an intense stare. “I’m so lost without you and—”

  “Don’t you even go there, Ryan! What happened? Emily dumped you?”

  “How do you know her name?”

  “I know a lot more than you think I do.” My anger was causing my voice to escalate and heads were turning in our direction. “Please leave, Ryan,” I said in a steely voice through clenched teeth, my eyes now averting toward the table. “I can’t even look you in the eye, and I’m surprised you have the gall to look into mine.”

  “That’s because I still love you.” He exhaled. “Jamie, I know I have a lot to make up to you, but I swear, if you’ll give me a chance, I’ll devote the rest of my life to your happiness. I worship you, baby.” His hand touched mine. I jerked back. His mere presence was making me feel like I was going to vomit. I glared at him now, my gaze never wavering from his face, and pretended to key in 911. Instead I used *228 to update my phone, but he didn’t know that.

  “Yes, this is Jamie Burke,” I role-played. “I’m at Soranno’s Bakery on 9th and Broadway, and I’m being—”

  Ryan shook his head in disbelief. “Jamie, please give me a chance to explain.”

  I clicked off my phone and released a nervous laugh. “You must be joking, right?” I took a deep breath to calm myself but it wasn’t working, so I did the next best thing to relieve it: I dumped the remainder of my lukewarm coffee over the top of his head and heard him mumble a few profanities as I headed for the door with my half-eaten croissant wrapped in a napkin. I heard a few gasps as I exited the bakery, but I never looked back.

  I floundered around in a daze for a while and found myself walking down the subway stairs and in through the double doors of the train that was boarding on the platform. Mind-boggling thoughts about Ryan having the audacity to face me after what he’d done created a mass of confusion in my mind. I wondered if his parents knew he’d come to see me, and what they thought about it. Had they tried to discourage him?

  A lump formed in the back of my throat as I sat there staring out the window, distracted by the stations whizzing by. I wanted to cry but I was too stunned. I suppose that was a good thing since I’d shed more than my share of tears during this year. When the conductor announced the stop for Chase’s apartment over the PA system, I was shocked. I hadn’t intended to go in this direction. So how did I wind up here? Had I forced my subconscious mind to focus on Chase to erase the pain of Ryan’s appearance?

  I exited the train—my head still dazed, the confusion slanting my decision. I stopped in front of the train schedule posted on the wall, looking at the chart but unable to comprehend. Should I go to see Chase? Was this a message of some sort? Was I feeling differently toward him because we were now on equal ground in the love department? Confusion crammed my mind. How surreal was it that Ryan had showed up the day after I’d revealed who he was to Chase? I shuddered as my mind drifted back to Chase’s strong arms holding me while I cried. How could two strangers wind up with such a strong connection? I had to believe it was just a coincidence, but then, I didn’t believe in coincidences.

  I walked inside a coffee shop hoping it would give me time to figure out my next move. Courtney’s voice screeched my name. “Jamie? What are you doing in this part of town on a Saturday? You’re not working today, are you?” Her expression changed as she eyed me with concern. “Hey, are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry. I’m fine.”

  “You look as though you’ve just seen a ghost.”

  I snickered. “I believe I have.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “Nothing. Don’t pay any attention to me. I’m being melodramatic.”

  She laughed. “Okay. I know that feeling.” She turned to her friends and signaled she was talking to me. “You know, Chase is home by himself. I told him I’d pick up a sandwich for his lunch, but now that I’ve run into a few friends, I’d really like to stay out a little longer. If you don’t have plans, would you mind bringing it to him? I know he’d love to see you.”

  “Yeah…sure,” I said, still unable to comprehend everything that was happening. But why had she suddenly appeared? Was Cupid standing on my shoulders directing the events of the day? Courtney chatted nonstop for what seemed like forever until the waitress handed me a bag with his lunch. I gave a half-wave and walked the short distance to his apartment and unlocked the door with my key.

  “Hey, Court,” Chase
called out from the bedroom, “I’m glad you’re back. I think I’ve just had an epiphany.” He sniggered. “I’ve just been thinking about something and I know you’re going to find this hard to believe, but I’m feeling a sense of loss with Jamie not being here today.” He clicked his tongue. “I’m really falling for her in a big way.”

  I swallowed hard. What the heck was happening in my life? Was this all a dream? I walked to the door of his bedroom and stood there staring at him. His mouth dropped open. “Jamie? How long have you been here?”

  “Long enough to hear what you just said.” I smiled and sat down on the bed next to him and watched his lips move, not hearing a word he said, and impulsively leaned in to kiss him.

  He pulled me into a strong hold, his cast pressing against my back, but the warmth of his hold gave me a new confidence. I relaxed and buried my head into his shoulder.

  “Jamie,” he said in a throaty whisper. “I’ve tried to be patient with you, waiting for you to realize that love is stronger than resistance and we just can’t fight it anymore. Don’t be surprised when it takes center stage. I’ve been dreaming about someone like you for a long time…and here you are. From the first moment we met, despite my terrible attitude, I knew we were meant for each other.” I nuzzled in closer, giving in to my emotions and enjoying the comfort he provided that sent me into a hypnotic state. His soft touch gave me a tingling feeling all over like an electric current. I’d been denying myself way too long and wasted too much time on my own insecurities by ignoring the signs.

  “Oh, Chase,” I said, “I do love you.” He guided my face up to his and gave me a tender passionate kiss and it was like I was floating on a magic blanket, feeling the excitement of being in love and knowing no man had ever evoked this kind of emotion in me. That was when the image of Ryan danced through my mind and frightened me that I might be setting myself up for failure. I pulled back, wrapping my arms across my chest to shield my heart from any more hurt.