Sadie (Alpha Series #1)

by Todd, E. L.

  I scratched my nails down his back, whimpering quietly to myself. The tears continued to fall down but I tried to forget about them. The pain was blinding and couldn’t be ignored. There wasn’t much pleasure to be had. Ethan kissed my tears away, running his fingers through my hair. He tried to keep me calm, caressing me as much as possible, but there was little that he could do.

  Finally, he pulled out and kissed me. “That’s enough for now.”

  “You didn’t come.”

  “How can I when I’m watching you cry?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. I just hate causing you pain. I usually enjoy taking women’s virginities. With you, I just feel like an asshole. Seeing you in pain makes me want to cry.”

  “It’s okay, Ethan. It will just hurt for a little while.”

  He looked down at his cock. “You’re bleeding. I’m going to wash up.” He walked away then returned a few moments later.

  “How long?”

  “It will take a few times.”

  “I just want to get it over with.”

  “It’ll take a few days.”

  “Can we just finish it tonight?”

  “That’s a lot of pain.”

  “Let’s just power through it.”

  “Sadie, there’s no rush.”

  “I want it to feel good, Ethan.”

  “It will, baby. Just be patient. We’ll take a break then try again.”

  “Okay.” I closed my eyes and nestled in his arms. I fell asleep at some point then woke up to him lying beside me. He was staring at the ceiling, his eyes wide open. “Let’s try again,” I whispered.

  “It’s only been a few hours. It’s going to hurt again.”

  “It’s fine.”

  “Are you sure? Now you are going to be sore too.”

  “Let’s just do it.”

  “This is romantic,” he said sarcastically.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “When it starts to feel good, I will make you feel things you never felt before.” He climbed on top of her then moved himself inside of her gently. She cried again like she thought she would. The pain was throbbing and evident. Ethan went as slow as possible and tried to limit the damage, but his large size made it impossible to be gentle. After a while, it didn’t hurt as much and she stopped crying. It still didn’t feel right. Without coming, he pulled out and lay beside her. “You need another break.”

  “It didn’t hurt that much this time.”

  “I’m glad. Next time it will start to feel good.”

  She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank god.”

  Ethan walked into the bathroom and washed up again. When he came back, he lay on the bed beside me and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry that this wasn’t what you were expecting.”

  “Please don’t apologize, Ethan. It’s not your fault. It was going to hurt no matter what.”

  “But my larger than average size didn’t help.”

  “I’m sure I’ll appreciate it later,” I said with a smile.

  He rubbed his nose against mine. “I hope so.” He brought his hand to the area between my legs and started to massage me, making me relax and feel better. I fell asleep again then woke up at some unearthly hour. When I looked at Ethan, he was asleep.

  “Ethan?” I whispered.

  “Hmm?”

  “Let’s try again.”

  He opened his eyes and blinked them a few times. He already had a boner so he was ready to go. He crawled on top of me then leaned over me. First, he rubbed the area between my legs, making me wet. He inserted himself within me. This time, his entrance wasn’t nearly as painful. He sucked my bottom lip then kissed me gently. As he slid inside of me, I felt my skin prickle. My eyes were absent of tears. When my body relaxed around him, I started to feel good. “Ethan.”

  When Ethan thrust into me a little harder, I knew he felt the difference. My nails weren’t scratching him nearly as hard and I was rocking with him, enjoying the feel of him moving in and out of me. His arms started to shake as made love to me, feeling my tightness.

  He started to move within me slowly. I felt him reach all the way back to my cervix and out my entrance over and over. Ethan ran his fingers through my hair while he pressed his forehead against mine. He looked into my eyes as he made love to me. Every inch of him felt

  incredible.

  Ethan kept biting his lip while he moved inside of me. I knew he was trying not to come so soon. I grabbed his lower back and pulled him further into me.

  “Harder.”

  He moaned. “I can’t. You feel too good right now.” He placed his hand over my clitoris and rubbed me while he slid in and out of me. The extra stimulus had me shaking.

  “I’m about to come,” I whispered.

  “I’m going to be the first man to make you come like this. Come for me, baby.”

  I stretched my legs wider apart as he moved inside me. He picked up his pace and moved with more aggressive thrusts. My legs were shaking as the orgasm rocked my body. It felt so good, inexplicable. It wasn’t the same pleasure I felt when he just used his hand. It was different, tantalizing.

  He continued to move inside me. He kissed my lips then my neck, worshiping me with his touch. I felt aroused again. All the pain I felt before was worth feeling this. Sex was so amazing. Why I had waited so long, I’ll never understand. I didn’t want it to end.

  He parted my lips with his tongue and breathed into my mouth. The feel of his hands on my body made me shake. I couldn’t believe I’d waited so long to finally have sex. What the hell was I thinking? I could do this every day. I felt every inch of his skin with my hands and moaned as I explored the muscles of his body. He was the sexiest man I had ever seen. I couldn’t believe that he was my first. I couldn’t believe that he wanted to change for me. That he saw me for who I am inside the bar. Not just some ordinary girl, but someone he adored.

  Every few minutes, Ethan would stop for a moment before he continued to move inside me. I knew why.

  “Baby, this has never felt so good before.”

  “That’s because I’m so tight. I’ll stretch out like everyone else eventually.”

  He moaned. “No, it’s because you’re special and amazing—you’re mine.”

  I ran my nails down his back, my heart throbbing at his words.

  He bit his lip, trying to stay calm. He grabbed my legs and pinned them further back. Then he leaned over me and thrust deep inside. I felt him expand even more, and I started to shake. It was here. I felt it set my entire body on fire.

  He bit his lip while he watched me.

  When I felt the throb disappear from the flesh between my legs, I stopped squeezing his arms so tightly. I wouldn’t be surprised if I left a bruise. To make up for my savage grip, I ran my fingers through his hair. Judging by the way he was shaking and his heavy breathing, I knew he couldn’t last much longer. He stopped himself from coming before me, but now he deserved to let go. “Come, Ethan.”

  His breathing increased as he rocked into me. He wrapped his hand around my neck and held onto me. His body stiffened after he pumped into me a few times. When he pulled out, he released himself onto my stomach, moaning loudly. His forehead was still pressed to mine. He kissed me on the forehead then moved his lips to my mouth. “You okay, baby?”

  “God, yes.”

  He laughed. “I didn’t hurt you?”

  “Definitely not.”

  He pulled away and looked down. “You stopped bleeding.”

  When I looked down, I saw the absence of blood on his dick. “I’m relieved.”

  “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah.”

  He rose from the bed and walked into the bathroom. When he returned, his dick was clean and he held a roll of toilet paper. He started to clean me up, but I steadied him.

  “I can do it.”

  He pushed me back. “Just relax.” He cleaned up the area then threw the refuse in the garbage. “Are y
ou in pain?”

  “No. I’m really not.” There was concern in his eyes. “Ethan, I’m fine.”

  “Are you sure?”

  I smiled. “Yes.”

  He sighed. “Okay.” He opened the bedroom door and let Koku come into the room. “We’ve been ignoring him lately.”

  “Thank you.”

  He crawled into bed beside me and wrapped his arms around me. His hand reached between my legs and he started to rub me gently. It wasn’t in a sexual way, and it felt relaxing. The smell of his skin and the feel of his warm body made me feel safe. I was so happy that I found Ethan and he made me happier than I had ever been.

  Ethan kissed me on the head then pulled me to his chest. I lay on top of him and felt the rise and fall of his wide chest. He ran his fingers through my hair while he closed his eyes. Koku crawled under the covers, lying right next to Ethan. He sighed loudly then curled up into a ball. It felt like we were a family.

  I’d just lost my virginity and it felt so good. I didn’t have any regrets. It took a while before the pleasure was more prevalent than the pain, but it was worth it. “I can’t believe I waited so long.”

  He opened his eyes and looked at me. His expression was dark and serious. “I’m glad that you did.”

  I ran my hand across his chest. “Me too.”

  “You’re mine, Sadie. I mean it.”

  “I know.”

  “Every inch of your skin belongs to me exclusively.”

  I laughed. “I get it, Ethan.”

  “I’m being serious.”

  “I know.”

  “I want you to go on birth control. I hate condoms.”

  “Okay.”

  “You’ll get it taken care of tomorrow?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And I’ll get you my papers too.”

  “Your papers?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “So you know I don’t have an STD.”

  “Well, it’s a little late, don’t you think?”

  He smiled. “I’ll still give them to you.”

  “Your word is good enough.”

  He stared at me blankly. “Why do you trust me so much?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?”

  He shrugged. “After what your brother said, I don’t know how you can believe me so easily. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you do, but it still surprises me.”

  “You may not have always been the best guy, but I know you aren’t a liar, Ethan. As long as you never lie to me, we’ll be fine.”

  “Really?” he asked with a smile.

  “That’s all I want.”

  “Done.”

  “And you better not cheat on me.”

  His smile disappeared. “I’m not like that, Sadie. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “Good.”

  “You never have to worry about that.”

  I cuddled next to him. Koku leaned over and licked my nose. “Koku!”

  He whimpered.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Ethan asked.

  “He likes to cuddle when we sleep.”

  Ethan grabbed the dog and placed him on his chest, right next to me. I wrapped my arm around Koku and held him next to my neck.

  “There,” Ethan said.

  “Perfect,” I whispered.

  “I don’t want him to think I’m taking his mother away from him.”

  “Too late.”

  He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and set his alarm then returned it to the table. He closed his eyes while his hand rested on my back. I felt so comfortable sleeping with my boyfriend and my little dog. I had never been pleased so thoroughly or ever been so happy.

  9

  When Ethan left for work the next morning, both Koku and I wanted to cry. My dog whimpered at his feet as he said goodbye, and I held onto Ethan, refusing to let go. Now that I slept with him, I felt obsessed with him. That tight ass was all I could ever think about.

  “I’ll see you later, baby,” he said as he kissed me. “I’ve really got to get to work.”

  I sighed. “Okay.”

  He smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”

  I kissed him again. “Okay.”

  After he left, I went to work and did the inventory for the store. My dad asked a few questions about Ethan, but didn’t pry too much. He wasn’t extremely nosey, which I liked about him. I was surprised he didn’t ask about the obvious dispute between Ethan and Jared. I really want my brother to accept Ethan. I was in love with the guy. I didn’t want to lose him.

  When I got home that night, I waited for Ethan to call or text me. I stared at the phone like a crazy person. Koku sat next to me and stared at the phone too. I could tell that my dog was just as obsessed with Ethan as I was. I sighed when he didn’t call. I was having people over and I wanted to invite him but I didn’t want to come off as too needy.

  I started cooking the chicken wings and fried cheese sticks and put them on the table. As soon as I was done, there was a knock on the door.

  When I opened it, Jared and Alex were standing on the threshold. Jared was holding a pack of beer. We stared at each for a moment before he walked inside. I feared that he wouldn’t come over after what happened the night before, but Jared always came over even after the worse of fights.

  Alex looked at me, eyeing my tight sweater and leggings. “Hey, you look nice.”

  “Oh, thanks,” I said awkwardly.

  He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me. “How are you?”

  I smiled. “Good. How are you?”

  “I’ve been better.”

  I wanted to ask him what he meant by that but I decided to leave it alone.

  “I’m starving,” Jared said as he opened his bottle of beer and walked into the living room.

  “So, read anything good lately?” Alex asked. He wore a loose fitting sweater and plain jeans. His blond hair contrasted against his blue eyes. He was a good-looking guy and very sweet, but I never felt anything for him. If I gave him a chance, I might like him, but I never wanted to. And now that I had Ethan, there was no possibility of that ever happening.

  Now that my brother said Alex was practically in love with me, I noticed the way he stared at me and how he was different around me. He always acted like I was the only person in the room. Whenever we went out, he always looked after me and insisted on walking me home. I thought he was just being a nice guy, but maybe he wasn’t.

  I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “No, I haven’t had the time. I applied to a few writing jobs though.”

  His face broke out in a grin. “That’s great, Sadie.”

  “I hope it works out.”

  “It will. Don’t worry about it. You’re amazing. Someone is going to scoop you up.”

  “Thanks.” I fidgeted with my hair then averted my gaze. I moved into the living room and sat on the couch. Alex sat right beside me. We watched the football game for a while and Alex sat very close to me. I didn’t mind the touch, but now that I had a boyfriend, I felt extremely self-conscious. I flinched when my phone vibrated in my pocket. When I pulled it out, I smiled when I saw the caller.

  “Hey,” I said happily.

  “Hey, baby. What are you doing?”

  “I’m having people over to watch the game.”

  “Cool,” he said. He was quiet for a moment. I could feel the awkward silence.

  “Come over.”

  “Really?” I could hear the smile in his voice.

  “Yeah, really.”

  “Alright. I’ll be there soon, baby.”

  “Okay.”

  I hung up the phone and returned it to my pocket.

  Alex was staring at me. “So, I heard you have a boyfriend?”

  I couldn’t stop smiling. “Yeah.”

  His eyes looked hollow and his lips lifeless. “Oh. So you like him?”

  “I more than like him.”

  He nodded, but didn’t seem pleased by my words at all. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

  I raised an eyebr
ow. “What are we doing now?”

  “In private.”

  I looked at my brother. He was drinking from his beer while he watched the game. “Uh, okay. We can go out in the hall.”

  “Let’s just go in your room. I don’t want people to overhear us.” He rose from the couch and walked down the hallway. Reluctantly, I followed him. When we were in my room, he shut the door behind us.

  “What’s this about?” I asked. Alex and I were close, but he never pulled me aside to talk to me.

  He sat at the end of my bed and patted the seat next to him. I sat down beside him.

  He sighed. “Jared told me about this guy, Sadie. He sounds like an ass. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Ethan is a great guy. Don’t worry, Alex.”

  He shook his head. “You deserve to be with someone who treats you right. I doubt this guy can give you what you need.”

  “Well, he does.”

  “You just met him, Sadie.”

  “What does that matter?”

  He ran his fingers through his hair. “You already took him to meet your dad. Come on, don’t you see how odd this sounds? This is moving too fast.”

  “Well, it’s my relationship,” I snapped.

  Alex was quiet for a moment. “I’m not trying to make you mad or tell you what to do. I’m just worried about you. You deserve the best, and I want to make sure you get it.”

  “I appreciate your concern, but I’m fine—really. I admit that Ethan and I have moved a little fast, but it feels right. Don’t worry about me.”

  “I can’t stop worrying about you.”

  I stared at him. “Alex, I really want you and Jared to like him. Give him a chance.”

  “Give me a chance.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  We said nothing for a long moment. He grabbed my hand and held it within his. “You don’t deserve any kind of pain, Sadie. Please be logical about this.”

  I heard a knock on the front door and wondered if Ethan was there. Jared would let him in. I really wanted to run into his arms but I couldn’t just ignore Alex like that. He was just trying to look after me. “There is no such thing as logical when it comes to love.”

  “You’re confusing infatuation with love. What you have with Ethan is infatuation. There’s nothing there.”