by Reilyn Hardy
I leaned against the counter and rubbed my face. I was doing that a lot. Of course he would throw that in there. I should have seen it coming.
“David was beheaded, Jace.” I faced him. “The only thing we — I — had to deal with was a flesh-eating horse. Even that, barely. What use am I?”
“You saved my life that day. I wouldn’t have gotten to this side if it wasn’t for you. What if I need your help again?”
“And what if I cause the problem?”
“Then I’ll save you,” Jace said and nudged me with his elbow. “You and me.”
Even I had to admit that I didn’t want to get left behind. I couldn’t admit the truth behind my fear either. David Ryland. Everything was personal and part of me — a strong part of me — wanted to be the one to find him. No one else had the right, at least not in my mind.
“Plus,” Jace started again when I didn’t say anything, “I don’t think Zoirin wants you here without me.”
I shoved him and he nearly fell off of the stool. We both broke out into laughter.
“All right,” I said. “So if I said okay, when would we leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“What? Jace, it’s your birthday tomorrow — it —”
“The train’s coming in the morning, and we need to be on it. We’ll get to Barrowhaven in a couple days.”
“How do you know that?”
“Nova told me.”
“Who?”
“The girl from the Salvation. You know, the one with the dragon?” He said, mimicking her hand motions with his own, like he was playing with a small dragon in his palms.
Right, her.
* * * * *
When the clock struck twelve, the two of us downed a shot of liquor each, one after the other. It burned my throat, and I coughed several times, but Jace downed his like a pro. He grinned at me while I rubbed my neck.
“Go on,” he said, nodding his head toward the door. “Get out of here.”
“You’re letting me leave?”
“I’m kicking you out.” Jace slid off of his stool just as one of Mr. Jameson’s daughters bumped into him. She shyly apologized and started blushing profusely when he snaked his arm around her waist. “Well, go on. Get out!” He yelled at me.
I got off of my own stool.
I could finally leave.
I nodded at Jace, silently thanking him, and headed straight for the door before Ferris could stop me. If he was even there, I didn’t know and I didn’t care to find out.
Parties were never my thing. Being around too many people, I didn’t like that either. But I enjoyed being outside at night, especially during celebrations. Nearly everyone was packed into the Emerald Cask which left the roads quiet. There were a few candles flickering in the windows of houses of those whom had decided to stay home, but they were few and far between. The fire against the glass paired with the reflection of the moon created a glimmer like I had never seen. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and continued to walk home.
I enjoyed sitting on the grass just behind my house where no light reached, but sometimes there was a natural twinkle that came from the sky.
The stars always seemed brighter back there somehow, even though they probably weren’t. The air was still filled with ash pollution and I couldn’t remember the last time I saw a clear sky.
I sat down on the ground. I inhaled deeply and ran my fingers through the blades of grass while I reflected on the conversations I had with Jace, unsure if I was actually ready to leave town. I tilted my head up toward the sky, and then back down at the fence before me.
“I think we need to talk.”
I closed my eyes. Weylan.
“What if I don’t want to?” I asked.
“It’s not optional, Artemis.”
I opened my eyes and twisted my body to face him. “Can you stop calling me that?” He was still in the house leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.
“Well, it’s your name.” He stepped down from the doorway. “It’s who you are.”
“No, it’s not. It hasn’t been for a long time.”
I turned back to face the forest and I frowned a little. I thought I saw something move in the shadows of the trees, but I couldn’t be sure. Gold, or something. No, not again. I wasn’t seeing things again. Maybe I was drunker than I thought.
Weylan sat beside me. He dropped down and grunted when his tailbone hit the ground. I didn’t look at him and I tried not to laugh. I made sure he couldn’t see it when a smirk forced its way out to the surface and spread widely across my face, until I remembered what he had called me. The smirk faded as quickly as it appeared.
“Well? What?” I asked, but I didn’t turn to look at him still.
“You’re going, aren’t you? With Jace?” Weylan asked. “I’m glad.”
“I don’t really have a choice,” I said while still facing forward. “I mean — it’s David and it’s my fault he’s dead in the first place.”
“You always have a choice, Mae. I’m just glad this is the one you’re choosing to make.”
“I really want to be the person you think I am,” I said and got to my feet.
“You are,” Weylan said. He tapped the tip of my boot with his finger and looked up at me. “I see you as you are, truly. The self-hatred you hold for yourself clouds no one’s vision but your own. Maybe this is what you need.”
I walked to the fence. I was still frowning, positive I saw something in the shadows — watching me — watching us. But I couldn’t see clearly. I had no intentions of investigating, not this time.
I turned around.
“But I don’t know what to expect! I haven’t seen my father in twelve years. I haven’t thought about any of this in years and what if I’m — ” I forced a smile and shook my head. “I’m a coward.” I pivoted on the soles of my boots. I was a coward.
“What most only know as stories is your history — your life,” Weylan said as he tried to get up. I reached my hand out and tried to help him to his feet, but he nearly pulled me over instead. He must have weighed nearly twice as much as I did. But once he was standing, he circled me. “To face it without knowing what lies ahead? That’s not cowardice, Mae. It’s strength.”
“I’m scared though.”
“You’d be a fool if you weren’t.”
I sighed.
“When I was younger, everyone always said I was the good brother, Father Time’s heir.” I shrugged and stuffed my hands into the front pockets of my pants. I didn’t know if I was doing it because I was cold or because I was uncomfortable. “What if I’m not? What if I’m — his heir? What if I’m —”
“Whose heir you are does not determine who you are. As I’ve said, you have a choice, Mae. You always have a choice.”
As true as that might have been, it hardly felt like it. In a few hours, I would be on a train to Barrowhaven, and there was no turning back now.
CHAPTER FOUR
causing trouble
I woke with a startle a few hours later, and nearly fell out of my bed. I kicked the white sheets off of my body and sat up in an instant. My breathing was heavy and sweat trickled down the sides of my face, but my memory failed me when it came to remembering what had woke me to begin with. It was probably best I didn’t remember.
Especially if it was something from my past. I didn’t want to remember.
I draped my legs over the side of my bed and planted my feet firmly on the ground so I could sit for a minute. I wiped the sweat from my face with the back of my hand and hoped everything was just a bad dream. That I would start my day cutting candles in front of the house till I had to watch Zoirin.
I sat back on my bed fully knowing that wasn’t going to happen.
Weylan was still awake by the time I made myself leave my room. He didn’t sleep much. It was still dark outside, and the house was filled with shadows dancing along the walls from the flickering candle flames. He was sitting at his desk, looking through
orders people had placed for candles. Most sold their goods at the marketplace, but Weylan didn’t have to. They ordered from him directly.
He made the best candles in town. No one knew how, but his managed to burn the longest. Not even wind could extinguish the flames. He said it was a secret that wasn’t meant to be shared. Not yet, at least. He would tell me in time.
I leaned against the frame of the door and rubbed one of my eyes.
“I’m still not so sure that I’m good.” I started to lower my voice like the whole town was listening in on our conversation. “I just don’t want anything bad to happen.”
Weylan peered up at me, peeking over his reading glasses. He sighed and put the papers down on his desk. “Do you think your brother is evil?”
I shook my head instantly. “Far from it,” I said. “But that’s what worries me. I was always the one getting us into trouble.”
“Getting into trouble does not make you bad, Mae.” He sat back in his chair and I shifted my feet where I stood. “Curse or not, only you can choose who you want to become, whoever that may be. We might not get to choose who we’re born as or where we come from, but only you can decide what becomes of you.”
“Are you saying you don’t believe in the curse?”
“I believe it’s an excuse.” He shrugged. “But what do I know? I’m only a candlemaker.” He smiled and I managed a small one in return. Weylan looked at his hand and pulled a gold ring off of his finger, a ring I had never once seen him take off. In fact, Jace actually thought it was stuck to Weylan’s hand from his weight gain over the years. But he twisted it right off and got up to hand it to me. “It belonged to my father,” he said. “It’s always made me feel safe, like he was with me. I hope that maybe it will do the same for you.”
I stared at the white gold ring in my palm before I slipped it onto my thumb. It was too big to fit snug on any of my other fingers. I looked back at Weylan and wrapped my arms around him tightly. I inhaled deeply, he smelled like smoke and tobacco.
“I’m going to miss you,” I muttered.
He tapped my back gently with his fingers. “I’m going to miss you too,” he said and his hands moved to my shoulders, forcing me to take a step back. “Go on, pack your things. Pack something for Jace too, yeah? He didn’t come home last night.”
His hands slid off of my shoulders and I just shook my head. Of course he didn’t.
I returned to my room and shoved a few pieces of clothing into a satchel before my eyes landed on my dagger. I pulled it halfway out from the sheath, and my fingers traced over the triskelion etched into the blade. “I’m sorry,” I said softly. Not that David could hear me anyway.
I threw it into my bag and stumbled over a pile of dirty clothes gathered on my floor as I made my way to Jace’s room.
His room was tidy, much tidier than mine. The door was laying against the wall, ripped right from the hinges. Bed made, clothes neatly folded and tucked in their drawers. The ground was clean, but also empty. He didn’t spend much time in here and it hardly looked lived in. Empty bag at hand, I went to his dresser and stuffed a bunch of clothes inside.
It was almost time to go. Weylan left me a sack of money on his desk with a note that said he went to bed. I smiled a little. I didn’t think I could actually say goodbye to him either, so I was glad he hadn’t stuck around.
I closed the front door behind me, after I let myself out, and Jace ran right into me. He knocked me flat against the door. I nearly dropped the sack of money and quickly tightened my fist around the material.
“GET OUT OF HERE!” Mr. Jameson bellowed from across the road. He stood in his doorway, and struck the sky with his fist, while he glared at the two of us. On the second floor of his home, a blonde girl sat at the window and waved goodbye. Another girl soon joined her. Her sister, maybe. I wasn’t sure. I was nowhere near as popular as Jace was. She pressed her fingers to her lips and blew him a kiss. He smirked up at her and then looked at me.
“Jace, you didn’t,” I said and closed my eyes. “Please tell me you didn’t.”
“Happy birthday to me,” he said and snickered. He started buttoning up the front of his shirt while clutching an apple in his palm. “I had some fun, Mae. You should try it sometime.”
“That’s not exactly my idea of fun,” I said, crinkling my nose. I found the idea of sex repulsive in general, regardless of who it was with. Women or men, no thanks.
“I meant you just need to have some fun in general,” he said, rubbing the apple against his shirt. “I didn’t mean that. I know you don’t like people like that.”
“Well, I am going with you, aren’t I? This should be fun.”
“Yeah, it will be,” he insisted and hit the back of my shoulder. “You and me.”
One of the bags slid off of my shoulder and shoved it into his arms.
“Look at you, parenting me,” he said and peeked into the bag. He tossed the apple in and closed it back up again while I readjusted the strap of my own.
“Someone has to,” I said.
He just looked at me, giving me a very distinct and specific look. One I knew meant he was thankful. He always gave me that look. Jace was never one to say the words out loud, but those who knew him and even those who didn’t, knew when he appreciated something. It was in the look in his eyes, and the twitch at the corner of his mouth that would almost pull into a smile, but didn’t. It was there every time someone does anything for him. He never expected kindness, and was just as shocked every time he received it.
He would give this look and I knew.
It was subtle, but it meant more than the actual words ever would.
When he had first come to Newacre, though most were accepting of him, many treated him like a delinquent.
“Which is why I turned into one,” he would say. “This is what they expect of me, I might as well give them what they want.”
With some people, he never stood a chance.
I looked over at Mr. Jameson, who continued to snarl at us in his doorway, and we began walking to the edge of town. “You really want to do this?” I asked, gripping onto the strap of my bag. It wasn’t too late to turn back.
“I’ve got nothing to lose.” Jace shrugged.
He said that often. I was used to it by now, but I knew he had more than he realized. I hoped he knew it too. It was easier to be reckless if you thought what happened to you wouldn’t affect anyone else; if you believed they would go about their days like nothing had changed. It wasn’t true, but I’ve long since given up trying to convince him of otherwise.
“You’re not chickening out on me now, are you?”
I shook my head. “Just making sure.“
* * * * *
He led the way, walking a little ahead of me. We went through the marketplace and headed out of the Salvation, across the bridge and out of town. I didn’t remember coming over the bridge the first time I came into town, but I wasn’t awake either. I looked down at the rushing water below us and trailed further behind as Jace ran toward the tracks of the railroad.
He climbed onto them to see if the train was anywhere in sight. There were a few people who yelled at him to get off of the tracks and he waved his arm carelessly, motioning for them to shut up.
He rolled his eyes.
“I’m not going to die,” he said, but eventually, he got out of the way.
“What are you even doing here, kid?” Someone asked from behind, as they bumped my shoulder with theirs. “You aren’t even an adult yet.”
It was Ferris.
He walked around and poked me so hard in the front of my shoulder that I nearly lost my balance. I took a step back to regain my stance.
“Hey!” Jace yelled as he came over. “Get away from him.”
“Glad your bodyguard’s around, Mae. You know he can’t protect you from what’s out here, right?” He jammed his finger back into my shoulder again, and glared at Jace before leaving.
“You okay?” He asked, and hit my st
omach with the back of his hand.
He always did that.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“What’s he doing here anyway?” He asked, and started digging through the bag I gave him. “I never thought he’d leave his mother.”
“His dad kicked him out — because well — you know,” Brady said as he approached us. He was Jace’s age, just turned two decades over the Winter, but he towered over us. “Try going a little easy on him, J. He’s got it rough.”
Jace stopped fumbling with the bag and seemed to ponder the thought for a second. He wrinkled the side of his nose and shook his head. “Nah,” he said, “having it rough isn’t a free pass to being a jerk.” He unwrapped a bagel he had swiped from the marketplace.
I stared at him, gaping, just as Jace was about to take a bite. He shrugged and widened his eyes at me. What? He asked with his expression.
“Where did you even — how did you get that? I didn’t even see you take it!”
He grinned and took a bite. “I’m a wolf,” he joked and Brady laughed. “Stealthy, dangerous and unpredictable — come on, Mae — laugh. Even Brady here thinks it’s funny.”
It wasn’t funny.
Jace balled his fist and pressed it to my stomach to push me away from Brady, who walked off to join Ferris and a few other older guys that had decided to hop the train.
“You’re not making this easier,” he said once we were out of earshot.
I raised my eyebrows. “Me? You’re not making this easier,” I whispered angrily. My hands were tightening into fists. It was hardly intimidating. I couldn’t intimidate Jace if I tried. “You are a wolf, Jace! And if they find out —”
“They’re not gonna find out. Relax, will you?”
I huffed.
“I’ll try,” I mumbled, even though my mind was shouting. Jace was more than relaxed enough for the both of us. I turned my attention to the train tracks while he finished his bagel. He was the first person to hear the train as he stuffed his rubbish into his pocket.
Good hearing and all.
“You ready?” He asked me.
“For what?”
“To jump?”
I blinked several times.