Without Regret

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Without Regret Page 18

by Aubrey Bondurant


  “Hey, I wasn’t done,” she protested mildly.

  I backed her into the shower, taking the brunt of the hot spray and wincing. Turning, I adjusted the temperature. “Hair wet or dry?”

  She grinned. “Do you have any idea how much it warms my heart to have you care about my hair and whether it’s wash day?”

  I matched her grin. “I’m happy to have any influence over your heart, sugar.”

  Her lips parted, and I could practically see her brain working, so I quickly changed the subject. “Now, wet or dry?”

  “Wet is fine.”

  I spun her around, letting her tresses fall under the spray and finding her pussy with my fingers. “Wet it is, then.”

  ***

  I lay there in her bed, stroking her back, both of us entwined and sated after shower sex had made its way to her bedroom.

  “Did Tom ever ask you out?” I couldn’t shake this feeling. The one telling me that although the man undoubtedly didn’t care for Emma and the sentiment was quite mutual, there was something I was missing.

  “What do you think?” She had tensed with the question and then mumbled the answer into my neck.

  “I think if he keeps doing it, and you keep telling him no, then I’ll have a problem with it.”

  She propped up on my chest, meeting my eyes, her brow arched. “He hasn’t asked me out in years, fearing the wrath. Justifiably so.”

  “So instead he tries to submarine any other romantic prospects?”

  Her head settled back down on my chest. “I’m around him as little as possible, so I wouldn’t know. I’m starving, so maybe we could eat.”

  She slid out of the bed, throwing on a robe and striding out to the kitchen, effectively closing the subject before I could grab her. I lay there a minute, knowing there wasn’t one ounce of me that suspected she had any romantic inclinations towards the bastard, but there was still something bothering me.

  After slipping on my boxers and jeans, I went out to the kitchen and wrapped my arms around her where she stood in front of the refrigerator. I loved the sensation of her back pressed to my front, her curves settling into my body as if they were made for them. She’d come so far from the woman who would have nothing to do with a relationship that the last thing I wanted was to put the whole thing in jeopardy by coming across as jealous. But I also didn’t want any secrets between us.

  “One last question, and I promise not to bring him up again.”

  “Okay. One last one.”

  “Why do you hate him so much? Don’t get me wrong; I definitely get the guy is a dick, but it seems to go beyond that.”

  She hesitated before finally speaking. “I don’t care for how he treats people. Makes them feel inferior. His wife is a lot nicer than he is, thankfully.”

  I was shocked. “Tom is married?”

  “Yep. For the last decade.”

  “But he doesn’t wear a ring. Never even mentions a wife—” And I’d seen him get the number of a girl he’d met at a restaurant in New York. “Ah, I just answered my own question about why you can’t stand him.”

  “Exactly.”

  It was all clicking into place now. “And because of your history with a married man who cheated, I take it you loathed him from the minute he first asked you out.”

  She laughed dryly. “Asking me to fuck is not the same as asking me out on a date.”

  My jaw clenched, and I instantly I disliked him a little more.

  She winced after her words. “I shouldn’t have said that as it was a long time ago. Bottom line is I can’t stand him, but I’ve been forced to work with him on deals over the last few years because he’s Phillip’s nephew and invited himself onto the team. And I’ve already said too much because you have to work with him, too. You certainly don’t need me poisoning the water with my opinion of him. We all have to deal with him if we want to continue working with the Stone Group.”

  I turned her around, meeting her gorgeous, jade-colored eyes. “I’m sorry I wasted any of our time together talking about him, but thank you for telling me.”

  “What did he say to you outside?”

  “Nothing you’d want to hear.”

  Her expression made it clear how she felt about that statement.

  So I repeated what he’d told me outside, watching the anger flicker in her eyes. But to her credit, she stayed calm, walking to her pantry. “I have no food, so we can order delivery unless you’d rather go to the store.”

  “Sugar, you’re pissed, I can tell. But I’d rather you be upset with what he said than about me keeping it from you.” As long as we were honest with each other, we could get through anything.

  She gave me a small smile. “And I appreciate that. What pisses me off the most isn’t what he said about me. It’s how he implied that once we ruin this, you can go running to your father to save you. Arrogant bastard gets all of his money from his wife’s family and barely lifts a finger while working for his uncle. You work hard trying to make a name for yourself and—”

  I cut her off by pulling her to me and kissing her lips. Nothing was sexier than having the woman of your dreams all indignant on your behalf. The silky robe covering her naked body didn’t hurt, either. “Thank you.”

  She kissed me back. “’Welcome. Now feed me before I get hangry.”

  I chuckled. “Yes, ma’am.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY TWO

  Emma

  It was with dread that I went into the office the next morning. I knew, without a doubt, Tom would be there first thing to give me a hard time about Trevor. I also knew I needed to have a conversation with Simon, so he could hear it firsthand instead of from Tom.

  At first yesterday when Tom found about us, I’d freaked out internally. But then I realized, as with all things Tom, letting him know it would only give him power. And getting annoyed could potentially set Trevor and me back a step in this precarious relationship we’d started. The last couple weeks had been so good. So, I’d forced myself to remain calm and not give Tom any power.

  I wasn’t wrong about Tom coming early to the office. When I opened the front door, he walked out of the conference room, a smirk on his stupid face.

  “Good morning, Emma.”

  My history with Tom started when I began working for the Stone Group in New York. Once upon a time, I thought we could manage to get along and be cordially polite, but the years had made me wiser. Although I’d love to tell him to fuck off, I knew it would annoy him much more to ignore him.

  “What, lover boy and you didn’t carpool in this morning?”

  Luckily, I was turned away from him, putting my purse in my drawer, so he couldn’t see my expression. At that moment, it was murderous.

  Simon’s voice surprised us both.

  “Is that what you’re calling me these days, Tom?”

  I turned around quickly to see my boss with his eyes fixed on Tom.

  “No. No, of course not.” Then Tom fixed his derision on me. “I was commenting on Emma’s newest conquest, who happens to be the newest member of the team.”

  Simon shifted his focus to me, and I could feel my face heating. Fuck. This wasn’t the way I’d wanted him to find out.

  “Unless, of course, you’re okay with her putting both the team and Phillip’s money at risk with her bedhopping.”

  I witnessed the tick in Simon’s jaw and knew it was his tell for being pissed. Great. Just great. But my boss surprised me.

  “Who Emma chooses to spend time with is none of my business, nor is it yours. Matter of fact, if it’s responsible for her being in such a great mood lately, I’d highly recommend she keep doing it.”

  “It’s unprofessional. And a complete conflict of interest that Phillip would—”

  “I’d tread carefully, Tom, considering I met the love of my life on the job. Understand?” He’d met Peyton on the last acquisition and they’d kept it on the down-low for months, so I wasn’t shocked by him saying this. However, I knew my situation with Trevor w
as different since we actually worked together.

  I had the distinct pleasure of watching Tom squirm. “Certainly. However, I do think—”

  “You don’t get paid to think about the personnel on this team. I do. Now this is the end of the subject and the end of bringing it up to either Emma or Trevor. Have I made myself clear?”

  Tom swallowed hard. “Yes. It is.”

  Simon offered a smile which didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Good. Now then, Emma, I have a number of things to go over with you, so please come in once you get settled.”

  “Yes, certainly.”

  I let out a breath as soon as Tom left, with a glare thrown in my direction. I was used to them and didn’t react. What I wasn’t used to was having my personal life a topic of discussion for my boss. I walked in, hoping he might skip over it. I wasn’t so lucky.

  “Close the door and take a seat.”

  I did as he requested while hiding my nerves. I’d only seen Simon cross with me one other time. In that instance, however, he’d been taking out his frustration on me when things with Peyton weren’t going as planned. But this time, I wasn’t sure what to do. What if he asked me to break things off?

  “How did Tom find out?”

  That wasn’t the question I was expecting. “Last night in the carpark, Trevor greeted me when I got home. I didn’t realize Tom was staying there at the complex. I intended to tell you about our relationship this morning, but clearly not this way.”

  He steepled his fingers on his desk, appearing every bit the “Ice man” he used to be nicknamed.

  “Although I appreciate you putting the arsehole in his place, if you’re about to tell me to stop seeing Trevor, the answer is no.”

  He raised his brow. “He means something to you?”

  I sighed. “Yes, but don’t ask me to lay out my feelings as I haven’t quite figured them out myself yet.”

  The look of shock on his face was something I didn’t see very often. “I suppose I’m surprised given he’s a suit.”

  My lips twitched. “You’d be surprised to hear he ticks off more boxes then you’d think.”

  He chuckled. “I guess I walked into that one and now know what I can’t unknow. There is a small part of me wanting to enjoy your misery over what I’m sure is a very confusing time for you. But the bigger part of me is simply happy for you.”

  I knew Simon was the one person I could undoubtedly trust with anything. “I don’t know what I’m doing in a relationship. We went from something temporary to playing it by ear to whatever it is now.”

  “Have you talked to him about that?”

  “He’s aware relationships aren’t easy for me but doesn’t quite get why.”

  “Emma, I think of you like a sister, so with that comes unsolicited advice. I’m telling you Trevor is a good man. Talk to him. I think he’ll understand why you have a challenge with trusting people once you explain why.”

  I leaned forward. “What makes you say that?”

  “He’s an honorable guy whose word still seems to mean something.”

  Yes, he was. But despite that, trust wasn’t easy. As if sensing my thoughts, Simon spoke again.

  “What’s the worst that can happen if you tell him how you grew up?” His tone turned softer as he brought up a subject we hadn’t discussed in many years.

  “It’s not just that.” I had things I’d done I wasn’t proud of. Secrets I wasn’t sure I could share with him without him changing his view of me.

  “After I told Peyton about my past, it took a load off my mind. Food for thought.”

  I took a deep breath, wondering if I’d feel the same. If I could possibly put myself out there for rejection if Trevor knew all of it. I swallowed hard. “There are some things I’ve done I’m not proud of. Mistakes.” Even Simon wasn’t privy to all of them.

  “Are they pertinent to the future? That’s what I think you need to ask yourself. The point in telling Trevor isn’t for him to judge; it’s so he’s aware what may be holding you back. If it won’t make you feel better in admitting things from your past, and they won’t impact your future by leaving them there, then my advice is you keep it to yourself.”

  Made sense. Yet there was one thing I wavered on. At least I wavered until Simon’s next words cemented that I absolutely needed to keep it to myself.

  “Something to keep in mind is you two have to continue to work together, too. Making sure your relationship and any discord doesn’t come in here on a daily basis has to be a priority.”

  He was right. The last thing I could do was jeopardize our working relationship. Not only with each other, but with the entire team.

  “And what about Tom?” He was bound to push the issue and might tell Phillip.

  “If it wasn’t clear before that this is none of his business, then I’d say we have another talk coming. Six months ago, I might have said a possible relationship wouldn’t be worth the risk.”

  I smiled. “But now?”

  “Now, I have absolutely no regrets.”

  ***

  Although there were several things about which I needed to be honest with Trevor, it was the story of my childhood with which I’d start. That was the reason I had a hard time trusting. Had a hard time letting someone get close. And an even tougher time leaving myself vulnerable for rejection.

  I took stock of my feelings by way of a bath later that night after work, a glass of wine going down easily after a long day. Reflection and contemplation were heavy in the air when the knock came. I heard the door open and shut and then footsteps approach.

  “Emma?”

  Once his Texan drawl called my name, I knew. I knew absolutely without a doubt I wanted more with this man.

  “In the bath.”

  The door opened, revealing him handsome, still in a suit and tie. Ironic that I’d once saw a suit as a turn-off. Seeing him in one made me want to climb him. Luckily, the thoughts were mutual if evidenced by the way his gaze raked over my body.

  “You should learn to lock your door.”

  “Mm, considering a hot guy in a suit is in my door frame, I’d say I’m hard pressed to follow that particular rule.”

  “Cute.” His fingers loosened his tie.

  Damn. That single act had me all hot and bothered. I ran my foot up the length of my opposite calf, watching him watch me. Then he splashed the atmosphere with ice water with his next words.

  “Did Tom say anything to you today?”

  “Just a quip in front of Simon, unfortunately. Wasn’t the way I wanted to tell our boss, but I’m glad it’s out there.”

  He ceased his motions in unbuttoning his shirt—which was a shame. His eyes were rounded with astonishment. “Are you now?”

  I bit my lip, trying to gauge his expression. “Are you upset?”

  He flashed me the panty-melting smile I’d come to adore. “Not at all, sugar. Just surprised.”

  “I had to say something after Tom was giving me shit. Tom didn’t say anything to you, did he?” After Simon’s threat, I hoped not.

  Trevor continued to undress. “No, he didn’t. And that’s not what I’m surprised about.”

  I was losing my train of thought when both his dress shirt and T-shirt fell to ground, bringing into view his sexy, muscled chest and his sexy-as-fuck piercing. “What is?”

  “That you’re okay with it.”

  In other words, he’d expected me to freak out about people knowing about us. Hell, if Simon had found out a few weeks ago, I would’ve been. “Maybe the benefits are outweighing the risk.”

  He threw his head back with laughter. “Good to know.”

  “Wait. Did you walk Rufus?”

  He grinned, taking off the rest of his clothing. “I love that you’re concerned about him. And I did walk him, fed him, and then gave him a bone to keep him occupied.”

  I couldn’t help the guilt that crept up. “Perhaps I should spend the night over at your house tonight, so he’s comfortable in his own space.”
/>
  He knelt down next to the tub, running his hand up the length of my calf and slowly to my thigh. “Careful, or I’ll start to think you’re developing deeper feelings for Rufus.”

  I swallowed hard, meeting his eyes, aware we weren’t talking about his dog any more. “And if I did, how do you think Rufus would react?”

  He stood back up and maneuvered into the tub, water sloshing over the side as he braced himself above me. “Rufus would be the happiest dog in the whole wide world.”

  I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my voice. “Then that would make two of us. Of course, there could be some challenges.” Such as me telling him everything and us managing to continue to work together while in a relationship.

  “All manageable. I promise.” He settled his big body between my legs, dipping his head towards mine and making more water pour out onto the floor.

  “You know I’m not talking about Rufus, right?” It came out as a whisper. A vulnerable question about to fall over the edge of the most fearful place I’d ever been.

  “Neither was I.”

  He nuzzled my neck and kissed down my throat to my breasts. He found my nipples, licking, sucking, and biting them until I gasped with the pleasure. “I want you. Bare. Nothing between us.”

  “I’ve never.” Not even once. “But I’m on the Pill.”

  “I haven’t, either.” He positioned himself at my opening. A mere fraction away from what we both craved.

  “I want to. With you.”

  His lips met mine in a carnal frenzy as if we both let all the emotion we’d been tucking away erupt into this moment. But when he filled me—oh, God. I felt as if the world tilted on its axis, and for the very first time, I didn’t care if I fell. Because I knew he’d be there to catch me.

  His hips pistoned into me.

  Thrust after thrust, I met him, gripping onto his ass and barely feeling my head bumping the lip of the tub.

  “Sorry. Shit. Let me get you onto the bed.”

  “No. Ignore it. Fuck me.”

 

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