by Anna B. Doe
A shudder runs through my body just remembering it.
“Are you okay?” Yasmin asks, concern evident on her face.
“Fine,” I mutter, although I feel anything but.
Seeing Hayden has messed with my mind. It was like a blast from the past. I didn’t expect to see him here, and judging by his reaction, neither did he.
She throws another curious glance over her shoulder. “Who was that guy?”
Is he still there? Is he looking?
Every cell in my body wants to turn around so I can get my answers, but I rein in the rebelling need. I’m not here to rehash the past. And based on the look he gave me, Hayden didn’t want anything to do with me anyway. Who could blame him?
“Someone I used to know,” I murmur softly, giving her the only answer I’m willing to give.
When I left California, the last thing I expected I’d find is somebody from my previous life. It’s part of the reason why I moved across the country in the first place. I needed a new beginning, away from everything from my past. Away from the memories haunting me of that night. But that’s the thing about expectations. Whenever you think you’re going in the right direction, life shows you how fucking wrong you are.
I lived the illusion of an easy life before, but then the reality smacked me over the head to show me just how ugly it can be.
The ache in my chest grows stronger. At this point it’s my constant companion, even on the good days I can feel it wrapped around my heart. Caressing me like a lover’s touch. Until it wraps so tight around me it becomes too painful to breathe.
This was a mistake. Coming here. Trying to act normal, as if nothing has happened. It was a mistake. It’s too soon…
What the hell are you doing here? Hayden’s words still ring in my mind, not letting go. What am I doing here really? I should have never—
“Drink this,” Yasmin interrupts my crazy internal freak out. A glass is pushed into my hand and I down it in one go. The liquid burns as it slides down my throat, tears making my vision blurry. “You look like you’re ready to bolt.”
“If I had Hades Watson scowling at me like that, I’d be ready to bolt too,” Chloe interjects. Her lips nibble at the edge of the glass as she looks over my shoulder.
“Who’s Hades Watson?” Yasmin’s face is completely blank, no recognition whatsoever. Should there be? Chloe, on the other hand, is bursting from excitement. What did she know about Hayden? I haven’t heard or seen him since that day at the end of my sophomore year of high school. Not like I had any way of finding out in the first place, but still...
“Only the most popular guy on campus.” Chloe rolls her dark eyes at us, but when we give her a blank stare, she actually looks like she can’t believe who she’s hanging out with. “Really? How don’t you know shit like that?”
“How do you know it?” Yasmin shoots back instantly, her brows raised in challenge. My eyes go back and forth between the duo as they talk, not sure what to think of any of it.
“It’s my business to know everything and everybody.”
This time it’s Yasmin who rolls her eyes. “Let me guess, political science?”
“With a minor in communications, but that’s beside the point now. Hayden ‘Hades’ Watson is the star wide receiver for Blairwood Ravens—just FYI, that’s football we’re talking about—and if it’s to judge by the rumors, most likely number one pick once he decided to enter the NFL draft. He’s that good.”
Now that makes me frown. Hayden number one pick? What world did I step into? The Hayden I used to know couldn’t even catch the ball, much less keep it in his possession long enough to make the touchdown.
He changed.
And so have I.
Chloe turns to me, curiosity written all over her face. “So what’s your deal, Callie? How do you know Blairwood’s star boy, and what did you do to piss him off?”
Memories I didn’t even know I had anymore start reappearing in my mind one after the other. Flashes of my past I thought I buried deep inside me, slowly creeping back. “I—” I wet my suddenly dry lips, trying to find the words. “We went to high school for a while,” I finish, opting for the same vague explanation I gave Yasmin earlier.
Interest flickers in Chloe’s brown eyes. “What happened?”
I should have known better than to think this will placate her. Instead of saying anything, I shrug. “High school.”
Like those two words can sum up everything that transpired between us in that one year we’ve known each other. Chloe, and even Yasmin, look at me expectedly, waiting for me to elaborate on my statement. Yeah right, fat chances of that happening. There is no way in hell I’m going there. Not with a ten-foot pole. And surely not with people I just met.
I came here to leave behind all that has happened in California, not relive it.
When they realize I won’t say anything more, matching pouts appear on their lips.
“You’re no fun, Callie-Bear.” Chloe shakes her head unhappily.
The words hit me like a train wreck, leaving me breathless.
Callie-Bear.
I stumble back, the glass I’ve been holding in my hand falling down and shattering into a hundred tiny pieces, but at this moment I don’t have it in me to give a crap. I try to suck in some air, but the only thing it does is make a choked sound come out of me.
Just when I thought this day couldn’t get any worse.
“Callie?” Yasmin’s hand lands on my forearm, her amber eyes looking worriedly at me. “Are you okay?”
I shake my head, trying to breathe in, but no air fills my lungs. The corners of my eyes grow fuzzy as black spots appear in my line of vision.
“A-Air,” I barely manage to squeak out as the panic spreads through my body.
“Callie, are you okay?”
“I need air,” I repeat, this time a bit louder. Without waiting for their reaction, I turn around and bolt toward the door, not once looking back.
Three years. Nobody has called me by that nickname in three years. And even then, only one person called me that.
He called me that.
Callie-Bear.
The tears gather in my eyes, so I close them to prevent them from spilling. The ache I was feeling grows stronger, cuts deeper.
But I won’t break. Not here. Not now.
Later, when I’m all alone, away from everybody and everything, only then can I let the walls down.
Suck it up, Callie.
With my head bowed down, I rush through the crowd of people. Blindly pushing through them, hoping I’m going in the right direction.
Door.
I need out.
I need air.
People complain as I shove them out of my way, but I don’t stay back to listen. When the front door of Moore’s finally comes into view, I want to sigh in relief.
I stumble out, shoving somebody who’s on their way in. Ducking to the side, I let the hot night air enter my lungs.
My chest expands with every breath I inhale. It takes me a while to slow down my erratic, on the verge of panic, breathing.
Just after the accident, I had a lot of those. They would come out of nowhere, even the smallest of the reminders of all that has happened provoking them and it would take me a while to regain back some semblance of control over myself. Now, they still come occasionally, but not nearly as much as they used to before.
Leaning against the wall of the building, I tilt my head back, still keeping my eyes closed. I will myself to stay still and just breathe.
Control, Callie.
Slowly, I suck in some much-needed air, pulling it into my lungs until there is no more space left, and then, even slower, I release it. In and out. I repeat the process over and over again until I feel like I’m back in control. Until it doesn’t feel like my heart will give out on me and I’ll faint from the lack of oxygen.
It was just one word and she didn’t know. It was just one word and it shouldn’t mean anything.
But
to me, it meant everything.
“I think you owe me an answer.”
Chapter Six
HAYDEN
Her eyes fly open instantly like she didn’t even know I was there. Like she didn’t just pummel through me only seconds ago as I was trying to get back inside.
I shouldn’t have followed her. I know I shouldn’t, but when her body crashed into mine as she was running out like her ass is on fire, I couldn’t stop myself from going after her. I just promised myself I’d let it go and avoid her at all costs, but seeing her again awoke something inside of me. No, not just something. A need. A need so intense to finally get some answers.
So here I am, standing in front of my worst nightmare and staring into her big, blue eyes. They’re wide, vivid blue—so dark they almost seem purple—pools that suck you in and hold you hostage. Eyes that can make you fall to your knees and do whatever she wants you to do. She looks innocent, like a sad angel, but looks can be deceiving. I learned that the hard way.
She taught me that lesson.
“W-What?” she whispers, her word a soft stutter.
“I think you owe me an answer,” I repeat slowly.
Moving closer, I let my height shield us from curious eyes that could wander this way and interrupt us. The last thing I want is a repeat of what happened inside. I needed my answers and I needed them now. Maybe then I’ll finally be able to move on because I sure as hell don’t have time to deal with Callie Stewart. I have too much on the line as it is.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Don’t play coy with me, angel,” I warn her, not in the mood to play games.
Callie lifts her chin slightly, the attitude I remember all too well returning. She stands straighter, but it does little to compensate for her lack in height. She was always on the short side, but now she looks downright tiny next to me.
“I’m not playing anything, Hades.”
The nickname I earned on the field sounds more like an insult coming from those pouty, pink lips. Then again, she never thought of me as much of a player. I wasn’t much of one when she was nearby.
“What are you doing here?” I ask through gritted teeth.
She rolls her eyes at me. “I go to school here.”
“Out of all the schools?”
I still couldn’t believe it. What were the chances, really? Shit like that shouldn’t happen in real life. Yet, she’s here.
“Out of all the schools,” Callie confirms.
There is a long pause filled with tension. We stare at each other, neither of us willing to be the first to break the contact. Finally, she sighs. Running her hand through her hair, she pushes it out of her face. With her hair out of the way, the scar on the side of her face is even more prominent.
“Look, I know we didn’t part on…” There is a slight pause like she’s looking for the right words until she finally settles on: “Best of terms. And I’m sorry for that.” Callie inhales deeply. “I know you probably won’t believe when I say it, but still… I’m really sorry for how things turned out. For what I did. If I could go back and change it, I would, but since I can’t, all I can do is apologize. And I’m sorry, Hayden. I know this isn’t ideal, but I’m sure this campus is big enough for both of us. It’s not like we’ll share any of the classes and God knows I’m not going to step a foot anywhere near the football field. We don’t have to see each other again.”
The anger I felt the moment I laid my eyes on her returns in full force. I can’t explain it. It’s completely irrational. The fuck with her apology. It only came, oh, just three-freaking-years too late. But who’s counting?
I shouldn’t care. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Her words, her dismissal, pisses me off like nothing else. She apologized and now what? All is forgiven and we move on with our lives like nothing has happened? Like she didn’t change my whole freaking life back then?
And what did you expect, jackass? That she’ll come back begging for forgiveness? Asking you to give her another chance?
“And look how well your theory worked out so far,” I drawl lazily, doing everything to keep my cool while all I want is to lash out. “You’re on my campus, how long? Twenty-four hours? More? And we’ve already stumbled into each other not once, not twice, but three times.”
Destiny must have a sick sense of humor.
“Three times?” There is confusion on her face. Her forehead wrinkles, making the scars on her face stand out even more.
My hand reaches forward before I can stop myself, my fingers tracing the damaged side of her face.
Callie sucks in sharply, the soft wheezing sound filling the silence. And it’s like she sucked in all the air that’s between us because suddenly, I can’t breathe either.
She should look ugly, ridiculous even, but not even the scars can take away from her beauty. Back then, I could never take my eyes off of her. There was something about her classic beauty that drew me in, and any time she was anywhere near me, she was the only thing I could think about.
Three years. Three fucking years and nothing has changed.
The space between us is filled with so much tension it’s all but cracking with suppressed intensity. I can feel the jolt of energy go through me when my skin meets hers but even that doesn’t make me break the contact. Instead, I school my expression. No way am I giving her more of myself than I already did.
Tilting my head to the side, I give myself time to observe her carefully and up close.
From the distance, I could barely see anything, but up close like this, I can see every detail. The rugged, torn skin that was patched back together still looks quite disturbing and even though she put on whatever makeup girls use to cover their faces, the angry red tone is still present. The cut slices through her eyebrow and then continues down the side of her face in an uneven line, over her cheekbone all the way to her chin.
“What happened?” I tilt my chin toward the left side of her face. “You pissed off some bigger kitten than you and she clawed your face? That it?” I taunt, letting my finger slide over her scar. I can’t help myself. I want to hurt her, let her feel just a fraction of what she made me feel. What her being here makes me feel.
Her body trembles slightly under my touch, but she doesn’t take a step back.
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” she says, looking me square in the eyes.
“C’mon, angel. Isn’t this what people do when they see each other after a long time? Catch up and shit?”
“I thought you didn’t want to see me.”
“Can’t blame the guy for being curious.” I shrug lazily, not wanting to give anything away. “How did a California princess turn into a Beast? And why didn’t mommy and daddy pay for you to get all dolled up again?”
I’m too concentrated on observing her scars, so I don’t see it coming. My head jerks to the side, a loud smack ringing in the night. So loud there are some snickers and catcalls from people standing in front of Moore’s who heard it.
My cheek burns from her attack, but I don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing it. Slowly, I turn my head back to look at her, working my jaw.
The haunted, broken look that flashed in her violet irises for only a second is replaced by fire, bright and intense.
“You don’t know shit,” she grits through clenched teeth. With a swipe of her hand, she pushes my hand off her face, breaking the contact. “So don’t pretend otherwise.”
Callie starts to walk around me, but I block her way. “On the contrary, you’re the same prissy girl you always were.”
That stubborn chin goes up a notch. “Then you’re lucky you won’t see me ever again.”
With that, she shoves me out of her way and stalks off.
Only when I’m sure she can’t see me do I rub at my still flaming cheek. The girl has spunk to her, that’s for sure, but she doesn’t know who she’s playing with.
Whatever she might think, this campus isn’t big enough for both of us
. Our paths will eventually cross, and when they do… the payback is a bitch.
She might have known me before, but the boy whose heart she broke in high school?
He’s long gone. She made sure of it.
A loud clapping interrupts my thoughts. I turn around, finding Nix leaning against the wall, watching me with apt interest.
I narrow my eyes at him suspiciously. “How long have you been here?”
A knowing smirk appears on his mouth. “Long enough.”
“Nix.” I run my hand through my hair. “I’m not in the mood for this shit.”
“But watching you two was so much fun.”
As fun as getting a root canal done.
“As long as you’re having fun,” I say dryly.
He observes me for a second, quiet. It’s never good when the guy’s too quiet. And his next words confirm it. “It’s really entertaining to see you rattled like this.”
Of course he’d go there. Probing in the place I don’t want him anywhere near. But I’m not even that surprised. Not where Callie is concerned. That girl is the best when it comes to wrapping people around her little fingers and toying with them until she gets what she wants. And they haven’t even officially met.
“I’m not rattled,” I lie through my clenched teeth. Nothing and nobody gets under my skin like Callie. Not before I met her and sure as hell not after.
He shrugs his shoulders, “I beg to differ.”
“What do you want, Nix?” I ask, exasperated with his games. I have to get out of here.
“I want to know what it is about this Callie chick that has you all broody.”
“I’m not broody and I already told you to leave Callie alone. I’m not talking about her, hell, I don’t even want to think about her. So why can’t you let it go?”
Nix pushes away from the wall, standing to his full height.
“Because my friend who also happens to be my star wide receiver is unnerved to his core, I need to know if I can rely on him. The season is about to start and I need your head in the game.”