by Anna B. Doe
The door bursts open like a baby elephant has stumbled over the threshold, making me jump in the bed.
“... the fuck, man? Why aren’t you up?”
Completely disoriented, I look around. “W-What? What time is it?”
Not waiting for his answer, I snatch my phone off the nightstand, hissing when the pain shoots up my arm. Cursing, I notice the time. Quarter to six.
“Fucking hell, why didn’t you wake me up before?” I yell at Nix, jumping out of the bed. I grab the first thing that comes under my fingers—which turns out to be a pair of sweats that I’m sure has a hole somewhere in them, and the shirt I wasn’t even sure when I last washed—whatever, it’ll have to do. I put them on, slipping on my shoes as I work my way toward the door and the bathroom on the other side of the hall.
I generally don’t need much time to get ready, but fifteen minutes to change and get all the way across the campus to the gym is pushing it.
“How the hell was I supposed to know you’re still asleep? For all I know, you could have stayed out all night long.”
“Whatever.” I wasn’t in the mood to discuss it with him. Not when I was late, sleep-deprived and my hand hurt like a bitch.
I look down at my bruised knuckles. No chances hiding that from Coach now.
“Two minutes!” Nix shouts once the door of the bathroom closes behind me.
I take a piss and quickly brush my teeth, spray a little deodorant and I’m rushing down the stairs. Nix is already waiting for me in the car, so I slip inside, throwing my bag on the backseat.
“Drive,” I grumble, letting my head fall back against the headrest.
He does exactly as I said, pressing down on the gas, like he’s driving a race car not a fancy BMW his parents got him before he left for college.
Rock music is on, as always, the only thing filling the silence, until he turns it down, giving me a side-eye.
“What the hell happened?”
“I should have known it’s only a matter of time,” I grumble.
“Don’t act like a little bitch, Hades. What happened? You were gone awfully long last night.”
“Keeping tabs on me, Mom?”
“Just saying how I see it.” He shrugs and takes a sharp turn right, making me slide to the side and bump my shoulder against the door. “So what happened with Callie? Did you find her?”
“Yes, I found her.” I look down at my arm. Great, not only do I have a bruised fist, but an upper arm to match too.
“You two sort your shit out?”
“We talked.”
“That isn’t the same as figuring your shit out.”
“No shit,” sighing, I rub my good hand over my face. “We talked about what happened, but it’s a lot to process.”
Nixon looks at me like I’m the biggest fool alive. “What’s there to process? The girl has you all rattled since the moment she came to campus. It’s pretty clear to me.”
“It’s not just that.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, the exasperation growing inside me. Can’t he just let it go already?
“Then what is it?”
Of course not, it’s Nixon we’re talking about.
“She took away my future!” I yell. “She used me, and then she threw me away. Even worse, she threw me to the wolves, and I let her. I can’t have that happen all over again. The stakes are much higher now than they were before.”
The words tumble out in one breath and I’m left panting.
“You were just stupid kids, Hayden. Shit happens. People make mistakes.”
“Well, I don’t have space to make mistakes. I don’t have time for distractions. We have a championship to win and scouts to impress.”
“Is that really the only thing that matters to you? Football?”
“No offense, Nix, but you have something to fall back to, I don’t. Football and going pro, that is my ticket out. My future.”
He parks the car in the first available spot and turns it off. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
CALLIE
“Are you okay? You look a little pale.”
“Fine,” I murmur. Chloe’s watchful eyes stay glued to me, not believing me one bit although she doesn’t voice it out loud. “Seriously, I’m fine.”
“Whatever you say,” she shrugs and continues talking about the class, which I’m only half listening to. My mind is too preoccupied with the fact that in a few short moments I’ll come face to face with Hayden.
My heart kicks up a notch just from thinking about it.
What will he think? How will he act? What is going to happen now?
So many questions, and not an answer in sight.
I haven’t seen him or heard from him in three days. Three full days of wondering, what next? Did what happened the other day change anything and if so, how? He said he needed time to think and I was adamant to give him that, but that kiss… I didn’t want to think too much about it. Didn’t want to hope. After all, hope is the ultimate heartbreaker. Yup, it was better not to even try to go down that path.
I wasn’t even sure why I was obsessing that much. I said I was sorry, the only thing I really wanted to do since the moment I found out he’d been expelled from the school. Expelled. Because of me. There aren’t enough words to describe how guilty I felt at that moment. How much I wished things were different. Still, I kept quiet. Maybe if I said something… I shake my head, refusing to even go down the path of maybes and what-ifs.
He kissed you, the subconscious reminds me. Like I could actually forget it happened. I didn’t even have to try hard to remember the feel of his lips against mine.
It’s been three years. Three long years since I kissed anybody. But there was something different when he kissed me. The way butterflies started flying all over my belly as soon as his lips touched mine. The zap of electricity coursing my body with every swipe of his tongue. It was a sensory overload in the best possible way. Never before did I feel like that, and I didn’t want it to stop.
Climbing the final step, I force myself to take one deep breath in, although it sounds more like a painful wheeze than anything before I continue down the hallway until we reach the door to the auditorium.
This is it. I swallow nervously, forcing my eyes off the ground when we enter inside. I’m nervous, my palms are sweaty to the point I have to wipe them against the side of my legs. I’m not even sure why. There is nothing to be nervous about. I lived a long time carrying this guilt. He said he forgave me—something I still didn’t quite believe—but he said it, so what did it matter what happens next? It shouldn’t, right? Yet, somehow it does.
Our eyes meet almost instantly. It’s like my body knows where he is even before my mind can register it. I swallow, my body locking tight and forcing me to a halt.
A group of guys is around him, Nixon included. They’re talking about something, laughing, but Hayden is looking right at me.
His heated gaze warms me from the inside out, a small chilling sensation buzzing just underneath my skin. It’s unnerving. The way he can make me feel without even so much as trying.
Somebody crashes into my back, making me stumble on my feet and kicking all the air out of my lungs.
“Sorry!” Chloe’s hands fall on my shoulders to steady me. “Why did you stop so suddenly?”
Not daring to look again at Hayden and his friends, I pull the strap of my backpack tighter against me turning my attention to Chloe. “Just dozed off for a bit.” I offer her an apologetic smile. “Let’s go grab our seats?”
She looks at me, then her gaze slides somewhere over my shoulder. There is a prickle of awareness at the nape of my neck. It’s hard to resist it, but I do.
“Sure.”
HAYDEN
“That went well,” Nix deadpans as we both watch Callie walk out of the auditorium as soon as the class is dismissed. Except for that brief moment our eyes crashed when she just came for our class, I didn’t see her.
; She’s always sitting in the back, as far from everybody else as possible, that damn ball cap pulled low to shield her face. I don’t remember ever meeting somebody who wanted to hide as much as Callie does.
“You should have gone and said something to her.”
“Like what?” I grumble, my eyes still locked at the door, although Callie has left my sight long ago.
“The fuck if I know. Whatever the hell will stop you from being a grumpy asshole all the damn time.”
“I’m not grumpy,” I protest, but we both know it’s bullshit.
“Hades.” His hands fall on my shoulders and he gives me a hard shake. “In the last few days, you had more mood swings than a teenage girl during her period.”
I shove him away. “That’s just gross, Nix.”
He shrugs, completely unfazed. “Try living with it.”
Oh, right. Perks of having a baby sister, I guess. I know he has one, but he doesn’t mention her a lot.
“Thanks but no thanks.”
I have enough girl problems as it is, no sense in adding more to the mix.
“Come on, Mr. Grumpy. Let’s grab some coffee before our next class.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
CALLIE
“So…” Yasmin drags as she slides in the seat opposite to me. A tray with two cups of coffee and a turkey sandwich in her hands. The scent of hot coffee reaches my nostrils immediately, making my blood hum in appreciation. You’d think I’d get used to it, but nope. I still get excited at that first whiff of freshly brewed black gold.
I eye her curiously, unsure of what she’s doing.
“So…” I say in the same drawn-out tone, trying to figure out where she’s going with this.
Those chocolate eyes stare at me expectantly. “What’s going on with you and Mr. I-Hate-Your-Guts-Football-Player?”
The question catches me off guard so much that if I had something in my mouth, I would have spit it all over her face. Thankfully for both of us, I don’t, so instead I just stare at her and blink. “W-What?”
“The other night?”
“What about it?” I try to play aloof to see how much Yasmin even knows. I didn’t even realize she was there. Well, she wasn’t there when I rushed in crying, but apparently she did come at some point and saw something. How much exactly?
Her bed was messy and she was nowhere in sight when I woke up the next day, but that didn’t mean much. Yasmin is usually living on just a handful of hours of sleep. Working or studying until the wee hours of the night and then getting up early to rinse and repeat. Living with her was almost like living with a ghost.
Yasmin rolls her eyes at me. “I found him sleeping next to your bed at like two in the morning.”
“Oh…” My mouth falls open in surprise. I mean, I asked him to stay, but he wasn’t there when I woke up so I just assumed… I don’t even know what. I just know I woke up alone, the feeling of unease crackling underneath the surface.
“Yeah, oh.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “You two seemed awfully cozy.”
I observe her as she puts the cup down and picks up the sandwich, taking a bite. The whole time she’s watching me and waiting.
My cheeks heat in embarrassment under her scrutinizing stare.
“He was…” Am I really going to make excuses for having Hayden in my room? Yup, I guess I am. “We had an argument.” Her eyebrow shoots up, not so much in surprise as in wonder. “But we worked through it.” Well… “I think.”
“What’s your deal anyway?” There is genuine curiosity on her face. Even when we talk, neither of us tries to dig into the other one’s past. It’s a part of the silent agreement we have going on.
“It’s a long story.”
She checks her watch. “I’ve got some time.”
I nibble at my lip, weighing my options. Should I tell her? I’ve never told anybody what happened back in high school. Never thought I’d need to. I haven’t seen Hayden since that day when Mr. Davies sent him to the principal. But maybe…
“Not this much, trust me.” I turn around and look at the front of the coffee shop where a row of people is waiting for their next fix. “Shouldn’t you be working anyway?”
“Lunch break,” Yasmin mumbles between bites.
I’m just about to turn back when a soft chime rings and two tall figures come strolling in shaking their heads like a pair of dogs. This little corner doesn’t have windows, but the day has been gloomy so I’m not really surprised to see it started raining since I’ve been here.
A chill runs down my spine. Unnerving, yet familiar. I wrap my arms around myself, rubbing my upper arms when they look up and suddenly it’s hard to breathe.
“Is he stalking you?”
I shake my head no, unable to break our connection. “Just my luck.”
Nix smiles and waves at me, but I’m too stunned to return the gesture. Three days with nothing and now we see each other two times in a matter of hours. What are the odds? He elbows Hayden, his mouth moving a mile a minute. I wonder what he’s saying, but whatever it is, Hayden doesn’t want to hear it if it’s to judge by the way he shakes his head.
“Are you sure?”
I shouldn’t feel hurt, but it’s hard not to. “Oh, yes.”
“You really have shitty luck.”
“Tell me about it.”
Nixon gives him another push, which makes Hayden turn around and get into his face. Our connection broken once again. Sighing, I turn back to Yasmin who is looking at me.
“What?” I push back my hair.
“Nothing.” She shakes her head but keeps staring at me with that all-knowing look. “I find you two interesting, that’s all.”
I’m about to ask her to elaborate on that when a shadow falls over us.
“Ladies.”
Slowly I lift my gaze, only to find Nixon standing next to us. Alone. A pang of disappointment shoots through my chest. My heart squeezes painfully no matter how many times I try to convince myself it’s okay. He needs time. I can give him that. Hell, I can even leave him alone if that’s what he wants. Hayden deserves that much from me after all I’ve done.
Nixon’s hand lands on my shoulder. “He’ll come around. He’s just acting like a grumpy asshole.”
I nod, my eyes still glued to the row of people waiting for their order where he’s standing. All his attention glued to the whiteboard with the specials like he’s trying to figure out a complex equation.
“I hope so,” I whisper, just as the chair scrapes, drawing my attention to Yasmin.
She offers me a smile as she gets up. “I’ve gotta get back to work and then I have a class, but I’m off this evening. We can talk more then.”
My brows shoot up. “Like completely off?”
If we don’t count that very first week, I don’t remember the last time Yasmin put all the work aside to have some fun.
A frown appears on her face, but she masks it quickly. “Yup, all free. I’ll even bring tequila and we can get wasted.”
“A party? Why am I not invited, Cals?” Nixon crosses his hands over his chest theatrically. “You wound me.”
Yasmin rolls her eyes at him. “Sorry to disappoint, but it’s a girl’s night only, love. Dicks are not allowed.”
Nixon turns to her, giving her a thoughtful look. “Love, if you saw my dick, you’d be playing a different tune.”
One of her brows pops up. She gives him a once-over and scoffs. “Yeah, in your dreams.”
Interest flares in Nixon’s eyes. And although I’d love to see a girl put Nixon in his place, I don’t want two people who I consider friends fight each other.
“Nixon, this is my roommate Yasmin. Yas, this is Nixon. We have Spanish together, he’s Hayden’s friend and teammate.”
If the scowl on her face could become deeper, it would have in this very moment. What’s her deal with football players? I’ll definitely have to figure it out, and soon.
“Nice to meet you.” Her voice is so icy there is no m
istaking the contempt hidden behind it.
“Likewise.”
He offers her his hand, but she turns to me, effectively ignoring him. “Later?”
“Later.”
We watch her walk back to work in silence, and only when she’s out of earshot does Nix ask, “What’s her problem?”
I turn around to face him. “Don’t take it personally, she’s just not the biggest fan of football players.”
He doesn’t say anything, but the line between his brows deepens. He looks at the counter where Hayden is just picking up their coffee order.
Yasmin comes to the counter, a smile plastered on her face as she faces the next customer.
Nix narrows his eyes, his look stony. Shaking his head, he forces it away. “I just wanted to say hi. I guess I’ll see you around?”
“Sure thing, Nix.”
He squeezes my shoulder as he goes back to the front, both he and Hayden leaving without a backward glance.
“Come again?” Both Chloe and Yasmin are looking at me with bulging eyes. I wasn’t sure if the surprise was passing and would soon be replaced by disgust or not. The jury was still out.
“I used the fact that Hayden liked me so he would help me study to pass my calculus class, only to mess it up and resort to cheating, and I couldn’t do even that right so when the cheat sheet fell under Hayden’s chair and our teacher found it I pretended I didn’t know shit about it and he was later on expelled from the school.”
I rush the words out, and as soon as the last syllable falls from my lips I tip the shot and down it. Tequila burns as it slides down my throat, making my eyes water.
If they didn’t hate me before, they sure as hell are going to now. What the hell was I thinking, telling them all of it?
I wasn’t. A few shots of tequila and some mindless chatter about the guy Chloe went out with the other day loosened me up just enough so when Yasmin finally brought it up, the words fell off my tongue like they were waiting to be unleashed. Maybe they were. God knows I’ve been holding them in long enough.