by Mia Carson
I nodded. “I’ll give you that. But I could have called her, too. We both made mistakes, but answer my question. Would you still blame her for hurting me?”
He paused for a long time. “Yes…”
“I hear a but,” I prompted when he didn’t continue.
“But, I could forgive that a lot easier than what she did.”
I nodded again. We were actually getting somewhere now. “So you think you could forgive her? Like I did?”
After a moment he nodded. “Yeah, I think so. I can’t imagine what it must be liked to be raped. Maybe no man can.”
“And Mom?”
He shrugged. “She’s a reasonable woman. She could probably understand it better than I can. We just want you to be happy, Levi. That’s all we’ve ever wanted. We’re just afraid she’s going to hurt you again.”
“Let me worry about that.” I watched his eyes a moment. I could tell by how he was looking at me he wanted to believe I was right and wasn’t being blinded by what we once had. “So, here’s the big question. What would it take to convince you she’s telling the truth?”
He snorted. “That’s easy. How about one shred of proof?”
“So if I can prove she’s telling the truth about the rape, any part of it, you’d be willing to give her the benefit of the doubt?”
“And how are you going to do that?”
My lips quirked into a sideways grin. “I have no idea.” He waved his hand in my direction as if I were proving his point for him. “But if I can, will you get off my ass about her?” He looked at me in disapproval. “I’m serious, Dad. Ella and I are going to start, have started, dating again. I want her to be welcomed, or at the very least treated with polite respect, at home.”
“Are you suggesting we’re not?”
“Last night, after Ella got me out of jail, I had to practically drag her into the house. Once I did, Mom damn near gave us frostbite. So, yeah, that’s what I’m saying.”
“I’m sorry about that, then. Judy was upset by what happened. We both were.”
“Did you know Steve was going to file assault and battery charges against me? They would have stuck too. Ella cut a deal with Steve to prevent him from doing that. But instead of thanking her, she got the cold shoulder.”
“What kind of deal?” he asked as he tapped the fuel nozzle against the machine and put the lid on the tank.
“She agreed not to press battery charges against Steve in exchange for not pressing them against me.”
“Could she do that?” he asked as he began retracting the hose back into the fuel truck.
“Her case wasn’t as strong as his, but yeah, he was technically guilty of battery.”
He looked at me. “I guess I owe her one then. I didn’t know.”
“And nobody bothered to ask how I managed to get home in less than an hour when I was told it was going to be at least three or four hours before they would release me. The reason was because she went to Chief Wilkoski, told him what happened, and used what leverage she had on Steve to get us both cut loose.”
Dad nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll thank her for that the next time I see her.”
“Thank you. And if I find evidence to support her claim she was drugged and raped…?”
“Levi, I don’t know. You said yourself you don’t know how you’re going to do that. You find something, and we’ll talk about it, okay?”
“Deal.”
“Will you be home tonight? It will make your mom feel a lot better.”
“I don’t know, probably not.” I sighed. “Tomorrow. I’ll be home tomorrow.”
He nodded. “If I tell her that, you’d better be there.”
I nodded. “You can tell her.”
“Good enough. We just want what’s best for you. If that’s Ella, then we’ll accept it. We just want you to be careful.”
I smiled at his concession. “I know, Dad. This feels so right.”
“I’m glad, son. I just hope your past together isn’t clouding your thinking.”
“If it is, it’s on me. You can’t say you haven’t warned me.” I smiled at him. “Over, and over, and over again.”
The rift between us was beginning to close. “That’s what it takes, sometimes, to get through your thick skull. A Missouri mule has got nothing on you. Now, are we going to do some work or are we going to stand around and jaw all day?”
I snickered. “What are we waiting on?”
He looked around. “Old man Spandler to arrive with his grain truck. Doesn’t he know he’s got sorghum to cut?”
I grinned as I turned for my machine. Might as well have a load ready when he arrived.
The day was bright and clear, and though the ground was soft, we were able to make good progress. Normally Dad would be done contracting by now, but the rain had delayed everyone, and farmers still needed help getting their crops in. It was putting the pinch on a lot of people, but Dad was cleaning up.
I was getting close to full. Spandler had no grain cart, so I had no choice but to drive the machine back to his truck. It was frustrating to have to stop harvesting, but they weren’t my fields. I completed the row and shut down the header, then the threshing system as I made my way across the field to unload.
As the machine loped along, I reflected on my conversation with Dad. I hoped I had, in some small way, reached him. If I could get him, or Mom, on my side, then I was pretty sure the other would follow. What I should do is find that fucking Steve Calhoun and beat the shit out of him until he admitted what he’d done. My lips quirked up at the thought. Big talk. As satisfying as that would be, I knew I wouldn’t do it. Ella had saved my ass the last time, but if I were to jump him for no reason, no amount of bargaining would keep me out of jail.
There had to be another way. I didn’t know what it might be, but there had to be. Maybe I could make the rounds of all the people at the barn that night. I snorted. A lot of good that would do. Most of the people there were there for the same reason Ella had been, to have a few beers with friends and have a good time. They probably didn’t know anything, and even if they’d seen something, it would have long since been forgotten.
I wheeled the combine around and cozied up next to the truck before I swung the grain shoot over the vehicle and engaged the auger to unload. I watched as the grain flowed into the truck in a bronze-colored stream, gently nudging the combine forward so I didn’t overflow the truck and spill the grain on the ground. As much hassle as it was to collect this year, I didn’t want to waste a single grain.
As the torrent of grain became a dribble I shut down the auger and retracted the shoot, pulling away from the truck as the shoot tucked into the side of the machine as I made my way back to my starting point.
My mind returned to the problem. The keys were Steve and Cat. They would remember because they were the guilty parties. Steve would never talk, and he clearly had no guilt over what he’d done. Cat, however, might be a different matter. I had to find her, then I had to convince her to tell me the truth. I could probably find her, maybe even convince her to talk to me, but getting her to admit to what she’d done would be a problem. She’d lied to the cops about it. Why would she tell me the truth?
I engaged the header and thresher and set to work, allowing my mind to work on the problem as I slowly crept across the field.
The sun was dipping below the horizon and sorghum was starting to get too wet to harvest, but it had been a good day. The sun had been bright, and with the cold dry air pouring in, it had pulled a lot of water out of the ground. The dew was later arriving today than it had been in weeks. Dad and I were pushing, trying to get finished, but it wasn’t going to happen. We’d need another couple of hours to tomorrow. I wasn’t fully loaded, but it was time to quit.
Lights burning, I rolled up to the truck and began to unload. Dad arrived before I’d finished, waiting for me so he could take his turn at the truck. Empty, I pulled away to make room for him and shut down my machine. It was comfortably warm
in the cab, but I shivered as I stepped out into the cold.
I was waiting as he pulled his combine to a stop next to mine, killed the engine, and climbed down. “Lot colder,” he said. “That’ll help dry things out.”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t suppose I can change your mind about not coming home tonight?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. Tomorrow.”
He looked disappointed. “Okay. I’ve been thinking.” He paused a moment. “Despite everything, you are our son, and we love you. I don’t want Ella to come between us, and I know Judy doesn’t either. If she makes you happy, that’s good enough for me.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
“I didn’t tell you, but last night, when Judy told your sisters what you did, they were firmly on your side.”
“They were?” I asked, surprised by their support. They’d been scathing in their criticism of Ella after the rape.
“Yeah, they were. Like your mom and me, they worry you’re making a mistake, but they want you to be happy. That doesn’t change the fact that they thought, and I’m quoting Kamron here, ‘Steve is a disgusting pig who should have his hands cut off and shoved up his ass.’”
I snickered. Kamron had never been shy with her opinion. “Well, okay then.”
“Come by for supper at least?”
“Thanks, but the Johnsons are expecting me for dinner.” I could tell by the way he looked down he was disappointed and maybe a little hurt that I was choosing the Johnsons over my own family.
“Okay. Judy was worried about where you’d eat. I didn’t think you’d want to go back to Dolly’s so soon.”
“Yeah. I’m persona non grata there for a while.”
“I’ll let you go then. Ken and Helen are probably waiting on you.”
“Yeah, probably. Tell Mom I’ll see her tomorrow evening, okay?”
“I will. Love you, son.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
I sat in my truck. Dad and I had said love you to each other and talked about how much we cared for each other more in the last couple of days than we had in the previous five years. It was a guy thing, but it showed how deep the rift had become and how hard we were working to pull ourselves back together as a family. During the day I’d worked out a plan, and if I could pull it off, maybe it would go a long way to easing the tensions between us. He’d made the first step by admitting they’d accept Ella, whether they liked it or not, rather than lose me. That was a step in the right direction, and if that was the best they could do, I’d take it, but I wanted more. I wanted her to be part of my family again, like she had been, not an outsider tolerated to keep the peace.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’d see what I could do to make that happen.
Ella
While I wouldn’t trade my early morning tumble with Levi for anything, I was feeling the interruption in my sleep now. It didn’t matter. Yeah, I was a little tired, but I was in such a good mood, the best mood I think I’d been in since Levi left for the Air Force five years ago.
I’d go get Abby, get her tucked into bed, talk to Levi, and crash early. And I was definitely going to talk to Mom about keeping Abby Friday night. I was scheduled to work three to eight on Saturday, so if she could keep Abby, and Levi was available, I was going to jump his bones Friday night, and I wasn’t going to stop until I couldn’t walk, he couldn’t get it up, or I had to leave for work.
I clocked out. Mackenzie had been so funny all night. Because it was so slow, we had plenty of time to talk between making our rounds. She’d never been nasty to me, but treated me with cool indifference typical of most people. She probably believed I’d lied and tried to get Steve in trouble to cover up my mistake, the same as most of the town. Now, though, I had the sense she was reevaluating her position. She wanted to talk endlessly about Levi coming into Dolly’s to pick me up for our date, and most especially him confronting Steve when he was manhandling me.
She’d also made it exceptionally clear that she thought I should have my mom keep Abby for a couple of nights, invite Levi over, and let him load the clown into the cannon. When she said that, I’d laughed until I cried, and I giggled about it for the next hour. Maybe Mackenzie wasn’t so bad after all.
“Ella?” Dolly said as I started out the back. “Someone wants to see you out front.”
I sighed. I just wanted to go home. “Who?”
“Just come take care of it.”
I put on my fake customer service smile and stepped back into the dining area. Standing just inside the door was Levi with Abby.
“Mommy!” she called as she ran to me.
I swooped her up in my arms as I saw Levi nod to Dolly and step back outside. “What are you doing here?”
“Levi brought me to see you.”
“Wasn’t that nice of him?”
“He let me ride in his truck!”
“He did?” I gushed as I opened the door and stepped outside. It was much cooler than I’d expected. “What are you doing here?”
“I had dinner at your parents’ house. They said you normally didn’t eat there, so I figured I’d save you the drive.”
I nodded. I usually grabbed something quick while at Dolly’s if it wasn’t busy. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said, pulling me into a quick kiss.
I smiled as Abby stared at him with her big eyes. She’d never seen a man kiss me before, and she clearly wasn’t sure what she thought of it. She’d better get used to, because she was probably going to see a lot more of it.
“You ready to go?” I asked Abby. “It’s cold out here!”
“Are we going home?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I ride in Levi’s truck?”
“He’s not coming with us.”
“Why? I want him to read me a story.”
I looked at Levi and he shrugged. “He can if he wants to.”
Abby leaned toward him, her arms held out, and he took her. “Okay, sure. I need to give you back your car seat anyway. Your parents let me borrow theirs.”
“Okay, then. I’ll see you at my place in a few minutes.” I glanced back and saw not only Dolly, but Mackenzie as well, watching us through the window. With a small smile, I started for the lot behind the building where the employees parked, a little extra spring in my step.
I pulled to a stop beside Levi’s truck in my drive. His truck was still running, and he and Abby were engaged in deep conversation. I saw him smile and point out Abby’s window. Abby turned and waved out the window to me with a big smile.
While I bundled Abby inside, Levi put her car seat into my Escape before coming inside. He hung around in the living room as I washed Abby’s hair and helped her with her bath before leaving her to splash and play for a few minutes. Other than having another body in the house, it was situation normal.
He was sitting in the living room, his head against the back of a chair, his eyes closed as he slowly rocked. I knew exactly how he felt.
“Can I get you anything?” I asked.
His eyes opened lazily and he smiled. “No. I’m good, but thanks. You kept me up too late last night.”
“Are you sorry?”
He smiled as he rose, walking slowly toward me. He pulled me in close and kissed me, a proper kiss that left me feeling warm and loved. “Not in the least.”
“Me either,” I breathed and looked down. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I mumbled.
He hooked a finger under my chin and forced me to look up. “What did I tell you last night?”
“I know. But I have Abby, and—”
“So?” he interrupted.
“So, are you sure you want to be in a relationship with a woman who has a kid? She has to come first, Levi, and a lot of guys can’t handle that.”
“Are you planning to give her up for adoption?”
“What? No! How can you ask me that?”
He smiled. “Then I’m ready.”
“That wasn’t fun
ny,” I scolded.
“I didn’t intend for it to be. Did I ever indicate Abby was a problem?”
“No, but most guys think they can handle it, but they can’t.”
“I’m not most guys. Why don’t you give me a chance before you write me off?”
“That’s not what I’m doing!” He gave me that sideways grin he had when he was humoring me. “I want you to be sure. I… I can’t lose you again.” I looked down. “Better to not start than that.”
Again, he tipped my chin up and brushed my lips with his. “I’m not going anywhere. I love you, Ella.”
“I love you too, but do you think you can learn to love Abby?”
“Well, I just met her, and I generally don’t go for women that much younger than me, but yeah, I think I can give it a shot.”
I thumped him playfully in the chest with the back of my hand. “I’m serious.”
“So am I. She’s your daughter, and she is so damn cute I almost can’t stand it. So, yeah, I don’t have a problem with her being Steve’s daughter, if that’s what you’re asking.”
I watched his eyes, trying to read between the lines of what he was saying. I wanted him to say, ‘yes, Ella, I will love your daughter as much as my own,’ but that as unfair to him. No one can predict who they will and won’t love. Even if he said it, what would that mean? Abby was Steve’s daughter, and he clearly didn’t love her. Levi could have fed me a line about how he did, or would love her, but he hadn’t. I’d had another guy try that on me, but I’d seen through his lie quickly.
I nodded, deciding I appreciated his honesty. “Okay. We’re a package deal, you know.”
“Great! A twofer!”
I smiled as I heard the water begin draining from the tub. Those three words did more to convince me Abby would get a fair shake from him than almost anything else he could have said.
“Okay,” I said with a smile.
This was Levi! I was going to have to quit worrying about shit like this. I’d trusted him not to hurt me last night when I’d opened my heart to him again, and again this morning when he’d aggressively put his hands on me. I would have to trust him not to hurt Abby.