by John Wallis
Unclassified And Dangerous
There was little warmth in the sun when we finally made it overground. The air was taking on a chill and none of us had really decided what we would do next. So we made for the pavement and sat in a tired and sorry looking row on the kerb. Simon broke the silence to ask the obvious question.
“What do we do now?”
I felt too tired to think of a reply. The others must have felt the same way because none of them offered to answer Simon's question.
“Come on. You all wanted to follow the caves to get out here. How do we get home now?”
Rob was grinning despite our situation as he replied, “Can't you see we came to a bus stop.”
“I wonder if Raheam was joking when he said to click our fingers and say magic me a bus?” I asked thinking aloud.
Simon shot me with a menacing look.
“Yes Tommy I think he was joking, but who knows.”
He stood by the bus stop and jumped up and down clicking his fingers over and over.
“Come on,” he yelled, “Magic me a bus!”
He took a look at all of our blank faces then took his seat on the kerb again.
Much like the underground caves the next bit is hard to describe to you. What I mean is it felt like we had sat at the kerb for a few minutes, but it could have been a few hours, it could just have easily been seconds. Time was really hard to guess. In any event we were all sat at the kerb when we heard it. The familiar rumblings of a big red London bus coming down the street. It feels odd to admit but I was happy to see the miserable Akbar behind the wheel as it approached.
“Come on then, I have a timetable to keep you know,” he bellowed. Clearly his usual cheerful self then.
We got on.
“I demand you take us straight home,” Simon said taking his seat.
“This bus doesn't go there. Nope you're not going home on this one.”
“Listen here,” Simon began “I will tell my mother about this so called school trip.”
Raheam Akbar looked confused
“If you must,” he replied putting the bus into gear.
“Take us somewhere we can rest,” Madeline mumbled.
“That I can do. Stop six is a rest house, an old hotel. I know the owners.”
None of us had much money but so far that hadn't been a problem.
“So you met the Duchess? Did you get approval?” Raheam asked looking in his mirror.
“We haven't actually met her yet,” I responded.
“Everyone needs approval from the Duchess here. I got approved a while ago on the condition that I drove this bus.”
Raheam opened his wallet showing a card with the Duchess’s Stamp of Approval.
“So you're all on the run I gather? She does find everyone in the end but you should be okay at the safe house.”
“I'm not afraid of her,” Rob replied.
“You should be, she has a lot of power around these parts.”
Madeline had fallen to sleep in her seat now and Rob didn't look too far off either. I was counting the stops to make sure we got off at six. I didn't trust Raheam to remind us.
“You guys want to know what the Duchess is doing now?” Raheam asked.
“Don't tell me you have a wind up box with a television screen inside?” Simon replied.
Raheam looked confused again, “No, of course not! That would be silly, the bus has a radio.”
I got as comfortable as I could in the bus seat. The radio played some eighties pop song I had never heard of before then the presenter cut to a news bulletin. I was only half listening until I heard Rob.
“That's us that was. We're on the news.” He sounded excited by the whole thing.
I listened to the presenter announcing that the Duchess believed us unclassified and dangerous and that they were going to start using Bloodsuckers.
Raheam sucked air loudly shaking his head.
“Sounds like you are all really got on the Duchess's nerves today. Bloodsuckers are awful. They look like a regular garden worm. But they don’t eat dead grass, dirt or leaves like earthworms would. They get inside your body and then they go for the blood. The Duchess has them trained to attack intruders.”
“That's silly. How would a worm get through my shoe,” Rob asked.
“They burrow through. Slither their little selves through a boot in no time. Silent too.”
The bloodsuckers frightened me and I found myself checking my shoe for small holes. Outside sunset was quickly giving way to nightfall. The bus droned on and we were at stop four already. Raheam insisted in stopping to wait at each stop to keep in with his timetable.
“I think we should just turn ourselves in,” Simon suggested. None of us responded.
“Well it has to be better than these bloodsucker things,” he explained.
“I notice everyone around here seems to dress like bears,” Madeline said now more awake and ready to change the subject. Raheam was still focussing on the road nodded.
“Except you,” Madeline added in a tone I thought sounded more like an accusation than a query.
Raheam shrugged his shoulders as though avoiding the question but after a long pause he answered.
“I err, I come from,” he waved his index finger in the air.
“Like you,” he offered as way of explanation.
Madeline nodded, “She approved of you.”
“ Yes,” Raheam said brushing his mouth with his hand. Then he went back to focussing on the road.
There were less of the bear people around on the streets now. The ones that we did see around walked alone or in couples in streets lit by oil lamps.
“When you get captured and taken to the Duchess,” Raheam began “I say when because you will get caught. I would appreciate it if you kept my name out of it.”
“Why? Are you scared of her?” Rob replied.
“Yes,” Raheam said sternly, “and if you children have any common sense you'd be scared of her too.”
“Oh I am,” Madeline replied.
I hadn't given meeting the Duchess much thought until then. As far as I knew we had gotten the wrong bus and no more than that. But something about the Duchess did scare me. Despite what Rob said I think it scared him too. We were strangers in a strange land on an even stranger bus. The Duchess’s approval seemed to be all that mattered here.
We were at stop five. There were no passengers but Raheam stopped again anyway.
“That bear that was on here before,” Robert said, “he robbed me.”
“That's what he does, old Edward, stolen himself a fortune. They say he has a swimming pool in that big house of his. Full sized and full to the top with money.”
“Yeah I’m not best pleased,” Rob replied.
The bus took a turn that oddly did not feel like right or left and wasn't even on a road.
“Mr Akbar I think you've gone the wrong way,” Madeline said.
Raheam waved her away and continued driving through what looked like a long grass field.
Then we were in front of a place looking a lot like Edward's mansion and the bus stopped.
Before I had chance to get up Raheam was waiting for us to get off.
“Come on move along, this is your stop.”
“Isn't this Edward the man teddy's mansion?” I asked.
“I think the building is yes,” Raheam said still waving me off.
“But doesn't Edward live there?”
Raheam screwed his nose up and made a humming noise in his throat.
“Right now it is a hotel.”
“So it's a different building,” I said as Madeline brushed past me to leave the bus.
“The same building at a different time,” she explained as though it was just a matter of fact. Raheam smiled and nodded.
“Great so now I'm also supposed to believe that you can drive a bus through time,” Simon said shaking away the cobwebs of the journey.
“
You believe what you want to believe,” Raheam said ushering Simon past.
“Please hurry they will be expecting you. The owners are the two owls on reception.”
I swear Simon's look was so cold it could turn water to ice.
“That's just fine eh Tommy? We have a crazy Duchess but it is all okay because reception is being manned by a couple of owls.”
I ignored Simon's moaning. Partly because I had come to accept what was happening and partly because I was getting used to it. Once we were off the bus the doors shut and Raheam was gone right away.
“This is the weirdest school trip in the world,” Simon said buttoning up his jacket and heading for the building ahead.