Lucas went over to the chair. ‘Hello, sweetie,’ he said, bending low to speak. ‘It’s Lucas. I’ve come to see you. And I’ve brought a visitor, a very special person. This is Jessica.’
Jessica went over to the window, her heart thudding. The woman in the chair had her head held in a padded clamp. Her pale face was a mass of contradictions. Her greying hair had been combed back without any thought to style or appearance. She was wearing a cotton skirt and blouse, her thin legs bare, her feet in slippers. Her hands were immobile in her lap.
‘Hello,’ said Jessica, hesitating. ‘I’m Jessica. How are you?’
It was a stupid thing to say. The woman could not move. Her back was obviously broken, if not more. She could not hold her head up by herself. Her face had been repaired but was probably only a caricature of her former feminine looks. She smiled at Jessica but gave no sign that she had understood.
Lucas came over, moving in his usual economical and lanky way. He stood close to Jessica, barely daring to touch her in case she flinched. He barely knew what to say. It could only be the truth.
‘This is Liz, my wife,’ said Lucas. ‘She didn’t die in the car crash on the M25. But she is here, in a living death.’
‘You told me she had died,’ said Jessica, barely able to find a voice. ‘You said they had both died.’
‘It was easier to say that she had died. She has in a way. This is not Liz, my wife, the mother of Lily and Daniel, this is just a shell, a body with no mind. She knows nothing. She remembers nothing. She says nothing.’
‘How long?’ Jessica choked.
‘Since the accident. Liz went through the windscreen, severe spine and head injuries. He was killed outright, steering wheel trauma. No seat belts.’
‘Who was he?’
‘He was the man she was leaving me for, leaving her two children, leaving her home and her husband. Lily was only a baby, a few months old. He promised her a life without nappies and bottles and disturbed nights. He promised her Monte Carlo, racing at Goodwood and sailing regattas in the South of France. She wanted the high life and money to spend. She wanted fun.’
‘How awful,’ said Jessica. ‘You must have been shattered.’
‘I don’t know how I felt now,’ said Lucas. ‘It was if a great fog descended on me. A bit like London smog. I barely knew what I was doing. Except when I was at the hospital. It was the only time I could think clearly.’
‘This isn’t much fun for her,’ said Jessica, wondering if her plans were collapsing round their feet. She was unable to think how this would affect their plans. Oh dear God, she breathed, her eyes closed, don’t let this be the end.
‘No fun at all,’ he said. He went over to Liz.
‘Hello, Liz,’ he said. ‘This is Lucas. My friend Jessica has come to see you. Isn’t it a lovely day? Look at all the flowers in the garden, they are so beautiful.’
Liz smiled as if she understood but it was obvious that she didn’t. Her fingers had some movement. They curled and uncurled in her lap.
Jessica realized she was still carrying the bag of Lily’s soft toys, the ones that Maggie had not wanted. Sometimes the feel of something different could stimulate an unresponsive mind. She went over to Liz.
‘I’ve brought you some presents,’ said Jessica. She prayed that there was something suitable in the bag. Her hand closed round a fluffy yellow duck. He was rather cute. ‘Here’s a little duck for you. Can you feel his soft feathers?’
She put the duck into the curled fingers and Liz smiled. Then she seemed to smile quite a lot, as if enjoying the sensation. Jessica found a furry kitten and put the toy into the other hand. ‘And this is a furry kitten. His name is Sooty. Can you feel his soft fur?’
Liz smiled again, her fingers curling and uncurling round the toys.
‘Are you expecting a miracle?’ Lucas asked. ‘It won’t happen, you know. The brain damage is permanent. There is nothing that can be done.’
‘I don’t know what I’m doing,’ said Jessica. ‘I feel so helpless.’
‘I think we should go,’ said Lucas. ‘She likes the duck and the kitten so that’s good. Let’s leave her now. The nuns will be round soon with tea.’
Lucas said goodbye to Liz but she gave no sign of hearing. He moved her chair, making sure that she had a good view of the garden. If she could see.
They went out into the corridor, Jessica almost slipping on the polished floor. Lucas caught her arm but Jessica shook it off.
‘So is this my treat on my day off? Being shown the reason why we can never marry?’ She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice.
Lucas shook his head. ‘No,’ he said. ‘We shall be married, I promise you. But first I have to divorce Liz. I’ve never made it legal before. It didn’t seem necessary. I’ve always paid for her care and I come to see her when I can. She never gives any sign that she knows me. There’s nothing there anymore, only a shell. But she could live for years more.’
‘But can you divorce someone with a major head injury, who cannot say yes or no, who cannot agree to anything, who cannot sign papers?’
Lucas looked wearied by it all, the lines on his face etched more deeply. ‘I have spoken to my solicitors. I am her legal guardian. I have power of attorney, but she has no assets. Divorcing a permanently disabled person is a relatively streamlined legal procedure, apparently. I have to ask you to wait and be patient, just a little longer. Please, Jessica, I love you so much. We could be so happy together. I want you to be my wife. I want us to be together for always.’
Jessica’s feelings were in a turmoil. Time was standing still. She was only now realizing what an enormous burden Lucas had carried for years. His demanding job, an autistic son, a difficult mother, and now she knew there had been Liz as well. She could imagine that her own arrival at Upton Hall had been like a ray of sunshine, Lucas suddenly seeing some light in all the gloom.
And Lucas had fallen in love with her.
As they walked towards his car, Jessica threaded her arm through his. She could share this burden. She was strong enough. Besides, she loved him. And she would stay with him, even if they could not be legally married.
‘Would your roses like to see me again this evening?’ she asked.
NINETEEN
There were busy weeks ahead that turned into months. Jessica sent a regretful letter to the hospital in Sheffield saying that she now had other plans and could no longer take up the contract.
Lady Grace saw her consultant and was reassured that both her legs were the same length. Though she was still not sure that she believed him. These consultants could say anything.
The consultant congratulated her on her speedy and successful recovery from the hip replacement operation.
‘I keep strictly to everything that you told me to do,’ she said, without blinking an eyelid.
‘I wish all my patients were like you, Lady Grace, ‘he said. ‘Perhaps you’d like to come and give a talk to some of my pre-op patients sometime. It would give them such encouragement to see how well you have done.’
‘Fred and me,’ said Lady Grace, hiding a smile. She also had more secret plans for Mark Adams. She had not told a soul, waiting for the right moment. She had bicycles on the brain. That four mile promenade at Worthing was perfect for cycling, especially in the winter when Mark wasn’t doing deckchairs.
And she had noticed empty premises on Marine Parade, on the front. Ideal for a bicycle hire business. She fancied being a silent partner in a business venture.
Swimming was now a regular part of the routine and either Jessica or Lady Grace drove over to Roxy’s pool. They even met Roxy on one occasion and Lily was fascinated by her wildly bouffant hair, all different streaks of colour. Roxy rarely swam because of her hair. But she was great on paddling about on a lilo.
‘She’s got rainbow hair,’ said Lily. ‘Can I have rainbow hair when I’m grown up and singing in a roxy band?’
‘Are you going to be a singer?’
&nb
sp; ‘Oh yes,’ said Lily with confidence. ‘I’m going to be a rocky roxy star and have my own pool. Floppy Ears is going to learn to sing, too. Rabbit songs, of course.’
Daniel was starting to swim quite fast and with surprising stamina. Lucas wondered when it might be possible to take him to a full-sized pool. But not yet, not for a long time. They would take it one step at a time, or rather, one length at a time.
Maggie came to Upton Hall for two weeks convalescence and stayed for a month. She had scars on her face and arms but they were healing. She would need more surgery on her mouth as she grew older. She knew that Lucas would make her mouth smile again.
Daniel was fascinated that she preferred one word conversations and they became unexpected friends. They spent a lot of time together. He taught her to draw and she helped him with his alphabet. They made up funny names for the letters that he had invented.
Lily thought it was wonderful to have a non-stop playmate and Maggie soon lost her unhealthy pallor, racing round the garden and teaching Floppy Ears to do acrobatics. His new ambition in life was apparently to be a circus rabbit.
She brought the rag doll with her. The doll now had a name, Raggety Girl. Raggety Girl was soon participating in events, had her own chair at the kitchen table.
Arthur and Lady Grace expanded their games of bridge into a thriving bridge club. A group of friends met regularly at Upton Hall and Mrs Harris was in her element providing delicious nibbles for the group. She was asked if she would do the refreshments for a couple of village parties.
‘Your canapés are absolutely delicious. And these dips. We should be delighted if you could help us. We’d pay, of course, your usual rate.’
‘Certainly,’ Mrs Harris said. ‘When I come back from my holiday. My friend and I are going on a coach trip to Scotland. We’ve always wanted to see the Highlands. Beautiful scenery, we’re told.’
Jessica continued her research on the history of Upton Hall but she did not have much time or get very far. She did discover that the original farmhouse was built on the foundation of a long-lost Roman villa.
‘Plenty of time,’ she told herself. ‘History won’t go away.’
Jessica and Lucas planned their wedding. It would be a simple affair, they decided, with only a few friends. But they found time every day for a few moments together, walking round the garden, now in the autumn decline, the bronze colours replacing the fresh green of summer. The roses were almost over. Sometimes they found a hardy rose bud, determined to bloom at Christmas.
Jessica revelled in his touch and his closeness. Lucas had been a revelation these last weeks. She could not believe the warmth and passion of his love for her. Their time together was as if there was no one else in the world.
‘Not long now, my darling,’ said Lucas, pulling her close to him. ‘We have our whole life ahead together.’ He brushed his lips across her mouth. ‘Is it time to chose that king-sized?’
‘There are companies in the USA selling a super-king-sized. I found them on the Internet.’
‘And I thought you were doing research on Upton Hall.’
“Different kind of research.’
The simple wedding in the village church with only a few friends grew and grew like Topsy. There were friends from several different hospitals with a group of grateful patients. Friends from the bridge club, friends from swimming. Friends from the village itself and the school.
Lucas grinned at Jessica in church. ‘Be brave. We are outnumbered,’ he said as the service began.
The family Brussels lace was out, but Jessica wore it as a shawl round her shoulders. It went perfectly with her long cream velvet dress and it kept her warm.
Lady Grace was in her element, the perfect hostess at the reception back at Upton Hall. Mrs Harris was an honoured guest, in a new hat. Friends threw rose petals instead of confetti. The sun was clouded over, but warm enough for a late stroll in the garden.
Daniel was not sure what was happening but he looked content for once. Lily was a bridesmaid in a rose pink velvet dress with flowers in her hair. Floppy Ears was also a bridesmaid with flowers in his ears.
‘I’m going to have trouble with that rabbit,’ said Jessica.
By the Same Author
Midsummer Madness
Portrait of a Murder
Money Never Sleeps
Copyright
© Stella Whitelaw 2013
First published in Great Britain 2013
This edition 2013
ISBN 978 0 7198 1243 9 (epub)
ISBN 978 0 7198 1244 6 (mobi)
ISBN 978 0 7198 1245 3 (pdf)
ISBN 978 0 7198 0978 1 (print)
Robert Hale Limited
Clerkenwell House
Clerkenwell Green
London EC1R 0HT
www.halebooks.com
The right of Stella Whitelaw to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988
Promise to Obey Page 22