by Jadyn Chase
I turned away when he sidled up next to me. “I’m terribly sorry for their heartless innuendos, Rosie. I can assure you I never mentioned anything about our dalliance to any of them. They simply inferred.”
I closed my eyes. I wanted him gone, but somehow, his presence soothed my nerves. I could trust him not to rub my nose in the mistake that I made with him. “Just forget it. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters very much to me, Rosie, if it hurts your feelings or alienates you from us in any way. You have been unfailingly kind and generous to me since I first woke up. I would never dream of treading on your toes in that way. I want you to understand that. I also want you to understand I would never ask you to organize the family reunion. You have done enough already and you do, as you keep saying, have your own obligations to attend to. I’m sure we can manage the reunion without you.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up!” I blurted out. “I’m organizing it. Don’t you realize that?”
He frowned and cocked his head. “You are? Since when?”
I chopped my hand toward the shop. “Jackie’s right. None of the rest of you can do it. That leaves me, or this whole thing would be dead in the water. We would never find your family otherwise.”
“I don’t want you doing it if you’re going to resent us for it. I would rather not find my family at all than to end our association with any ill feelings.”
I spun around to yell at him. I didn’t mean to lose control, but all the emotions of the last couple of days boiled over at once. “We already did soil our association with ill feelings. Don’t you understand that?”
“We did?” He furrowed his brow. “When did we do that?”
“How the fuck should I know?” I thundered. “Jesus Christ, I can’t even blame this on you being from 1840. You’re so innocent and soft-hearted and….and loving even to realize it. I’m no better than those other women who broke your heart. I didn’t mean to. It just happened. I didn’t want to get all complicated with you. I just wanted to have a good time. That’s all. Do you understand? Now you expect me to be something I can’t be. You want me to feel something for you that I don’t feel. I don’t know when it happened. I don’t even know how it happened. You think because I kissed you and touched you and looked at you a certain way that I wanted it, too, but I don’t.”
He studied me for a moment. He kept knitting his eyebrows like I was speaking Chinese. “Are you sure?”
I closed my eyes and bowed my head. I inhaled a deep breath trying to calm myself, but I couldn’t. “I’m sure.”
His features cleared and he raised his eyebrows from their crunched up position. “Well, then. That settles it. I was mistaken, and that’s all there is to it.”
Now it was my turn to frown at him. “So what—you’re just going to let it drop, just like that?”
“What do you expect me to do, Rosie? Do you expect me to get down on one knee and beg you to care for me? You just said you don’t feel the same way for me that I do for you. I accept that. I might be innocent and soft-hearted as you say, but I’m not going to jump off that Cliff for you. I’m sure someone will love me for myself. I do have enough self-respect not to throw away my whole life on one woman.”
He glanced toward the shop, but his words sent a thunderclap through my being. He couldn’t just discard me like this. He couldn’t just walk away like I was nothing. That was for me to do to him. Now he was rejecting me.
But that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? I just told him I didn’t feel that way about him, so what was I getting all bent out of shape for? I should be happy he could walk away with his head up. I should be relieved he wasn’t getting emotional or despondent over something that never was.
Never was! It couldn’t be never was. I couldn’t allow that because it was! I just never realized until this moment. I did care for him. I just didn’t want to admit it. I wanted to jerk him along caring about me and not feeling the same way.
Holy effing Christ! He was right all along. I touched him and kissed him and looked at him like that and it was all real, everything he said. It was special. It was magical. It was by far the most intense, connected experience of my life. Maybe that’s why I didn’t want to believe it. That would make it all too real and I couldn’t handle it.
What would it mean if it was real? What would I have to do? What would I have to change? What would I have to be? What would I have to let him see in me that I hid from the rest of the world?
I would have to start by admitting that I loved him—if I loved him. I would have to start by admitting that something happened to me that night, that he affected me in a way no other man had.
He stole a peek at me and smiled. That smile made my blood run cold. He really was going to walk away. He was going to let me go without a word of protest. He was going to reject me and abandon me without ever knowing how I really felt.
Still, I couldn’t say anything to call him back. I couldn’t own up that I screwed this whole thing over without even realizing it.
“Well, Rosie,” he remarked. “I suppose I had better get back inside. The lads and I have some serious planning to do.”
He started to turn away. “Stop!” I groaned. “I’ll do it, all right? I’ll organize the goddamned family fucking reunion.”
“You don’t have to, Rosie. I don’t want you doing it if you’re going to resent me or William or anyone else for it. We don’t need your help as badly as all that.”
I shut my eyes again and cringed. Of course, he didn’t need my help as badly as all that. I needed it. I needed to stay involved in this crazy freakin’ adventure—not because of him but for myself. I needed to stay involved with him.
Jesus Christ, I was stupid! Why didn’t I realize this before? Even so, I couldn’t take a dive to grab his hand and beg him to forgive me and to give me another chance. God, what a cock up!
I swallowed hard. “I…I want to do it. I’ll do it and then…. that’s it.”
His eyes hardened and he stared me down. “All right. I appreciate your help.”
He said it in such a professional, detached way. He imbued those words with absolutely no emotion whatever. He might as well be talking to an electrician who came to his house to sort out a wiring fault.
I could only nod down at my hands and hang my head in despair when he walked away. No screeching tires accompanied his trip across the street. He strolled back to the shop without a care in the world.
13
Alexander
William and I paced back and forth in front of the Castle. We took turns casting anxious glances toward the road and town.
“What if they don’t come?” William breathed. “What if they’re all…. gone?”
“Then we’ve lost nothing.” Eerie calm settled over me. A flurry of nerves and jitters prevented me from standing still for more than a few seconds, but deep inside, I couldn’t feel anything. Not even the prospect of seeing my family again could disturb me.
In that moment, I realized this new world with all its bizarre fitments—this was my world now. I grew accustomed to it. I began to understand it well enough to call it my own. Tonight wouldn’t change that.
After working tirelessly behind the scenes for three weeks, Rosie elected not to attend the family reunion. I didn’t blame her. She’d hardly been out of my presence in all that time.
William and I stayed in the cave with the Whitlock boys, but the four of us drove straight to the shop every morning. William and I spent every day planning and organizing and arranging everything with Rosie’s help. The twins only left when their farm duties required them to.
Now that the grand night of the reunion arrived, I found I couldn’t celebrate it. Rosie went back to her apartment to rest—alone. This night marked the end of my association with her—for whatever that was worth.
I wouldn’t see her anymore after this. I would have no reason to go to her shop. I would have no reason to visit her or talk to her. She would disappear out of my life and I wou
ld move on to other things.
Not that we did much associating in the last few weeks. We talked constantly about the reunion. We occasionally discussed Lady Marquez and the mysterious spell that put us all to sleep. In spite of continuous research by Rosie and the twins, they never uncovered any further clue to the puzzle.
I no longer cared about that. I no longer even cared all that much about finding the rest of my family. I had William and the twins—for as long as that lasted. One of these days, William and I would have to find another place to live and another means of supporting ourselves.
I wouldn’t have Rosie, though. That mainstay of my early modern period would evaporate. I didn’t want her to, but I was man enough to bow to the inevitable. She was a grown woman with her own mind. She made her own decisions and she certainly knew how she felt about me.
In the last two weeks, I couldn’t erase our night together from my mind. I kept reliving it again and again. Her dark, haunted eyes floated before me. Her satin skin traced over my body in the most sensuous, delicate strokes.
Gazing out over Dover town falling into pale dusk, I gave myself permission, for the first time in weeks, to suffer the full weight of her loss. I would be thinking about her and dreaming about her and wanting her for a long, long time. I knew that now.
A car purred up the drive and parked in front of the Castle. William appeared at my side, but when the occupants disembarked, we both saw it wasn’t anyone we knew. We shook hands and greeted five grey-haired grannies from Sussex and William escorted them to the Great Armour Hall.
As eight o’clock approached, more and more guests arrived. A steady torrent of humanity entered the Castle all talking and laughing and exchanging greetings. I got swept along with them. People asked me who I was and where I was from. Fortunately for them as much as for me, the general hubbub gave me a perfect cover to gloss over these questions.
I pursued my role as host so I didn’t have to stop to talk to any one person for long. I made sure the caterers served everyone drinks and hors d’oeuvres. The fire crackled on the heart and made the hall cheery.
In the space of fifteen minutes, a crowd packed the Hall. I got so caught up in trading pleasantries with everyone that I almost forgot the purpose of this reunion. I began to look forward to the end of the evening when I could get back to reality.
As the minutes passed and groups clustered off together to talk, I relaxed into the event. The reunion was a success one way or the other. No one who attended it had to know it didn’t produce the results for which it was intended.
I stopped to shake hands with a gentleman wearing a Scottish kilt. I didn’t recognize the tartan. I never paid much attention to all those ethnic peculiarities. He bellowed into my ear about some Sheltons he knew up in Clyde or some such backwater.
I did my best to extricate myself from his clutches. I was just beginning to give myself up for lost when he spied a delightful young lady that captured his interest. He promptly ignored me and walked away to greet her instead.
I turned around with an exhausted sigh when I spotted my brother William across the Hall. He stood still in the flowing tide of bodies. He clasped an older man in his arms and the two embraced clapping each other on the back.
I stopped dead in my tracks. The Earth trembled beneath my feet even though I couldn’t see the man’s face. Then, with infinite slowness, they released each other. The older man pivoted with one arm still draped around William’s back. He faced me and I found myself looking into the well-worn visage of my father.
Tears sparkled on his cheeks. Without being aware of how it happened, I discovered myself drifting toward him. He put his arms around me and hugged me. He pushed me back and smiled.
When he let me go, he motioned behind him and Mother emerged from the crowd. The four of us took turns embracing and kissing and wiping our tears, but even that happened outside me, in that eddy of excitement and motion beyond my inner core of stillness.
All at once, my ears popped and noise assaulted my senses. I could hear again. Father was talking to me. “How long have you been awake?”
“About four weeks.”
He cocked his head to examine me. “So you were the first?”
“I understand Thomas was the first,” I replied. “We found some reports of him running around wild, but we haven’t been able to find him. We put the dates together. They seemed to indicate he woke up eight months ago, but we could have been mistaken.”
A cloud crossed his face. “Who is we?”
“Me and a few friends who helped me when I first woke up. I’ve been very lucky.”
He nodded. “Your mother and I have been very lucky, too. A pair of young ladies took us in when we first woke up. We’ve been staying with them ever since while they teach us about this…..” He scanned the Hall. “This new world of ours.”
I studied him closer. “Have you had any unfortunate incidences with the…the dragon?”
He glared at me under his bushy eyebrows. “I’m afraid so.”
I let the matter drop there. So they knew, too. The four of us took up residence near the fire. William brought a chair for Mother while I filled in Father on the events of the past month. None of them knew anything about Thomas.
“I can only hope he’s safe somewhere,” Father murmured to me. “I hate to think of him running around getting shot at or worse.”
At those words, some gravitational force made me look up. Father and William turned at the same moment and we all stared across the room. There stood Thomas as big as life. A beautiful, heavily-pregnant woman hung on his arm and beams of glowing light shone out of his eyes.
I could hardly bring myself to believe my good fortune. Thomas made it! I walked toward him and held out my arms. As if ordained by Fate, he fell into my embrace. His tears dampened my collar, but I didn’t care. This wild plan to hold a family reunion actually worked. My brothers and my parents stood around me alive and well and happy.
I pushed him back and feasted my eyes on him. Tears poured down his face in unabashed emotion. I gripped his shoulders tighter than I should have. I didn’t want to let him go. I didn’t want to let any of them go.
“Well!” I exclaimed. “Come on and tell us all about it. Who is this charming damsel with you?”
I offered my hand to his companion. He ran his sleeve across his face and coughed. “Allison Moore, meet my brother, Alex.”
I bowed and kissed her knuckles. “Delighted to meet you.” I really was delighted. I couldn’t remember being happier to meet anyone.
She burst into a charming smile. “Thank you. You must all have had as harrowing a time as Thomas has.”
I chuckled. “Quite so. Please. Let me introduce you.”
Allison greeted my parents and William with grace and generosity. We all gaped in astonishment when she and Thomas told us how they met in her back garden in Wichita, Kansas. We all laughed at his funny tales of running around half-naked and getting shot at by offended Americans.
Thomas beamed in rapt delight at our surprise. “It all seems so long ago now, but it wasn’t funny at the time.”
I squeezed him around the shoulders. “I can imagine not.”
“But where is James?” he asked. “I don’t see him here.”
“He didn’t make it,” I replied. “None of us has seen him anywhere.”
“We must find him,” he exclaimed. “He could be in real danger.”
“You don’t have to tell us,” William added. “We all have tales of destruction and mayhem since we woke up.”
Thomas gulped. “You, too?”
“I don’t understand it,” I told him. “How are we supposed to integrate into this time when we keep changing into those….?” I couldn’t finish.
The others fell silent considering the dragon problem. Maybe Lady Marquez—or whoever—cast this spell on us to prevent us from integrating. Maybe she did it so we would be hounded for the rest of our existence.
14
Alexander
I found my attention drawn back time and time again to Allison. She navigated this family reunion with perfect ease and grace. Her countenance glowed with vitality and life no matter who she talked to.
She fell into an easy, confidential conversation with my mother—no mean feat at the best of times. They chatted with their heads together smiling and laughing at each other’s jokes. I caught Thomas gazing at her more than once and I never would have recognized the expression on his face.
I never saw any of my brothers in love before, but Thomas certainly was in love now. He never took his awareness off of Allison for more than a few moments, not even when he conversed with someone else. His astonished happiness and relief at finding us did nothing to diminish his adoration and all-consuming focus on his bride and the mother of his unborn child.
A pang of longing pierced my heart. I knew how he felt, but I would never see Rosie in the full bloom of motherhood. She would never glance up from talking to someone and smile at me across the room. Those dreams of domestic tranquility belonged to other men, not to me.
In the midst of my reverie, Thomas touched my elbow. “I have to tell you something. The whole dragon thing happened to me, too, but then something changed. I was walking down the…..”
At that moment, Father materialized on his other side and grabbed his arm. “Come here, boy. I need your confirmation. Allison here has been telling me about some of your adventures back in America. Is it true you nearly got your head blown off for running around the streets in a dressing gown and nothing else?”
Father pulled Thomas away before he could finish his sentence, but I didn’t mind. I fell back into thinking about Allison and Rosie. I would have liked to watch Rosie across a crowded room the way Thomas observed Allison, but she said it could never happen.