“Son.”
“Father.” Dick was proud that his voice didn’t betray him.
“You have grown up, Son.”
Dick wasn’t sure if that was a compliment. It must be! Am I dreaming? “In what way, Father?”
“In stature. This time, you are seated on a horse as befits a prince rather than fretting like a peasant.”
My balls do not share your view, Father. “Thank you, Father.”
“Why is it that every time I send you somewhere, there is war?”
It is the special way I try to show you that I miss you, Father. “I am a victim of circumstances, Father.”
“Time and again, I have to save you.”
Dick suppressed his anger. “I have defended Ostfort with great fortitude.”
Old Fart grunted.
“I defeated a force of bandits in Challe, Father.”
“You must have gone there to seek whores.”
“And I successfully fended off three—no four—assassination attempts.”
“My enemies must be quite poor to hire such inept killers.”
“I have conquered Korav for you, Father.”
Old Fart glanced behind Dick’s shoulder. “You should not have taken Princeling Zbigniew hostage.”
“It was the right thing to do, Father, and because of that, Baan Bolek was compelled to rush to my aid.”
Old Fart grunted again. “Now I have all these mongrel mercenaries polluting my palatine.”
Dick decided he must not let Father diminish his successes. “I have fought bravely, Father. I had taken the gatehouse from the sheep-fuckers. I had killed dozens of enemy warriors and countless chieftains. With my Grand Dick, I was able to—”
“Grand Dick?”
“A great invention by Master Gunsmith Robrecht, the Saint bless his soul: it’s an arquebus fitted with a telescope—”
“An arquebus. So, you still think and act like a coward, then.”
“I have saved the city, Father.” Dick remembered his retinue. Men who could be quite useful one day. “With the great help of Reeve Gotelieb, Master Udo…” He named them all, even the sniveling Salabian boy.
“Reeve Gotelieb!” the king called.
The Drechknight detached himself from the group and saluted. “Yes, sir?”
“My son is telling me stories about his prowess—and his fortitude. Is there any truth to it?”
The Drechknight nodded. “Quite so, sir. Prince Dietrich is the hero of Ostfort. He has personally led many great initiatives to boost the city’s morale and discipline, organized daring raids, and valiantly defended the north gate in the last day of the battle.”
Dick tried to keep his emotions in check. He had never felt so honored in his life.
Old Fart pursed his lips. Then he looked at Voytech and smiled.
The Right Man nodded slowly. “Dietrich, I had never imagined you would be anything but sheer and utter embarrassment to your great family line. I was mistaken.”
More surprises. Dick was overwhelmed. But the difficult part of this meeting was ahead of him. “It takes a great man to admit a mistake, Voytech,” Dick mumbled. “Thank you.” He glanced at the prisoner. “Who is the unlucky fool you have tied to your saddle?”
“Papa Donpric,” Voytech said.
Dick glanced at his father. He knew what Old Fart had on his mind. The crazy priest could come useful against the High Emperor Ratibor. King Ulaf never discarded useful tools.
“Son.”
“Father?”
“I want to enjoy the city baths. Lead the way.”
It was many hours later that they reached the royal tower and its mold-smelling bath chamber. The streets had been so tightly packed with elated citizens that the Drechknights had to use force to clear the crowds so the king could pass. Then everyone wanted to see the king and greet him and praise him and shower him with thanks and blessings. Purple-faced Lady Enduria had delivered a calm, quiet account of the city and its state, never once glancing Dick’s way. He had stood there by his father’s side, ever so slightly worried.
The worst part was when Old Fart spoke to Amadea. Surrounded by beaming, grinning maids and that Faranc sister hovering nearby with quiet approval on her lips, his chubby wife informed the king of how honored and pleased she was to be carrying the royal heir inside her. Dick was impressed by how smoothly she had lied and allowed himself to breathe again.
The rest of the fanfare ended without incident.
Now he was naked, immersed in lukewarm water, getting ready for the evening banquet. Or rather, he was waiting for his father to speak. Confetti and lemon halves floated in the water.
Old Fart didn’t look pleased with the damage to the tower’s piping, but he had stepped into the bath without a word and let the dozen nervous girls attend to him as best as they could. Dick was so nervous, he hadn’t even bothered to look at the women as they scurried about. The king was lying in the water now, arms spread wide, head leaned back, eyes shut.
I could kill him now, Dick thought, trying to muster the courage. But he had no weapons.
“Son.”
“Father?”
“Did Amadea speak the truth?”
Dick tried to appear cautiously excited. “Yes.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
“Son.”
“Father?”
“Overall, you did well. It’s not the outcome. It’s how you handled it.”
“Thank you, Father.”
“One thing bothers me, Son.”
Dick squeezed a bar of soap to keep his hands from fidgeting too much. “Just one?”
“My royal hostage has been snatched away from right under my nose. First Citizen’s daughter Eva has been spirited out of Eisenstar.”
“That is most unfortunate, Father,” Dick said, pushing a lemon through the soapy water.
King Ulaf cracked his eyes open. “It upsets the balance of power. If I learn that you had something to do with this, the Black Desert will seem like the sweetest resort of pleasure and indulgence compared to the punishment I will exact on you.”
What kind of expression should I go for? Indignation? Sadness? Or just surprise? “Father, why do you speak to me like this?”
“Son, you are a clever bastard. If only you weren’t such a scheming, lazy coward. At least this siege has made you into half a man.”
“My eyes sting, Father. It could be the soap, or excitement over your kind words.”
Old Fart seemed to ignore the remark. “Now that you have sired a child, it is time I exposed you to a real challenge.”
Oh, shit. “I agree, Father. This siege was by far too uneventful.”
Old Fart clapped his hands. A maid rushed into the chamber. “Your Eminence?”
“Get me some spiced wine. Son, the world is bigger than your petty little games. You are oblivious to the dangers threatening our kingdom. But the Farancs are restless, and Emperor Ratibor is keen on expanding his vast realm. War never ends. There is no room for niceties and mercy. After the great boar hunt, you will depart for Eisenstar. You will have a few months to rest, until your child is born—Saint be kind, make it a boy—and then I will send you onto your next mission. You will serve me, and you will do exactly as I say, Son. And you will not start any wars or campaigns without my approval. Do you understand?”
Dick sighed. His wardenship was over. I hate you, Father. “Yes, I understand.”
“Now stop sulking. And tell me more about that arquebus.”
Dick swallowed. He had brought Mutt along, hoping it would help. It had to help.
He hated himself for what he had to do. Break another promise.
The siege was over. There was nothing preventing Eva from leaving Ostfort.
Except the warning from Old Fart.
“Stop sniffing,” he lashed at the mongrel. Mutt only tugged harder on the leash.
He stepped into her prison. Crispin was there, talking to her in his quiet, reserved, almost bas
hful manner. But Eva seemed thoroughly amused. Beautiful, fierce, her worries forgotten for an instant.
Her smile faded when she saw him. She turned serious, almost as if she dreaded the moment of her freedom. “This is it, then? Time to go?”
Mutt barked.
Dick grimaced and raised a finger. He hesitated. You met her at the Swan. She won’t mind really. He had no choice. “Have I ever told you about Volkard of Wilsbruck?”
She angled her head.
“How would you feel if you were to stay—”
This time, he was thoroughly prepared for the goblet flying his way.
About the Author
Igor Ljubuncic is a physicist by vocation, an IT nerd by profession, and a prolific author with sixteen published works since 2011. His current portfolio spans three technical books, eight novels, and five anthologies, including a short story, The Girl with the Flaxen Hair, which was nominated for the 2014 Sidewise Awards for Alternate History.
Igor runs a popular science and technology blog, www.dedoimedo.com, which has also been nominated and awarded several times over the years. Likewise, Igor’s books have received favorable reviews from Publishers Weekly, Underground Book Reviews, Midwest Book Review, SFFWorld, and others.
You can learn more about Igor’s literary adventures at www.thelostwordsbooks.com.
Table of Contents
Title Page
Also by Igor Ljubuncic
What readers have to say...
Acknowledgments
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
About the author
Woes and Hose Page 31