Yours Completely

by Joya Ryan

  But for the first time in a long time, I left a message.

  “Hey, Dad. I just wanted to say…lots of things, actually. But mostly that you’re my dad.” I shrugged as if he could see me. Because it was that simple. It hurt, it didn’t make sense, and I was so angry with him. Didn’t trust him. He didn’t want me. And yet, “You’re my dad.” I whispered and glanced down. “Okay, bye.”

  Probably the world’s worst voicemail, but it was better than nothing. Because, despite the past, I was insane when it came to my father. I’d keep trying to reach him for the rest of my life. Knowing he wouldn’t reach back. There was no logical reason for it other than he was my father.

  A knock came at the door and I opened it to find Cal looking amazing, as usual. He was in his standard blue fire T-shirt and matching pants. The casual uniform.

  “It’s cold out, you know,” I said.

  “I told you, I run hot, and we’re just walking across the street.” I grabbed the dip. “Aw, Kitten, you cooked.”

  “I stirred. It’s chips and dip.”

  “The guys will love it.”

  The firemen, apparently, had a group dinner every night at around six. And tonight, I was invited.

  “You look nervous?”

  “I am!”

  He smiled. “Don’t be. We have guests all the time, and the guys have already met you.”

  Yeah, but Rhett and I had an unspoken secret of sorts when he caught me at the station leaving Cal’s room. I didn’t want to turn into the department joke. And having Cal’s friends and crew like me was very important.

  “This is a regular thing we do. Just dinner and bullshit. Don’t let them rile you, and you’ll be fine.”

  Somehow, that didn’t help at all. “Don’t let them rile me?”

  Cal shrugged. “I’m bringing a chick over. They will give me shit.”

  “Why? Like you said, I’ve been over a couple times.”

  “Which makes them give me more shit. That’s how we work. And because I’ve never brought a girl over. ”

  “That’s not true,” I mumbled, thinking of what Rhett had said about it not being uncommon for Cal to have ladies come and go from his room.

  “What did you say?”

  I just shook my head. Now wasn’t the time, and it didn’t matter anyway. He could do what he wanted. I had slept with his best friend, for goodness sakes, so I really couldn’t be jealous. Yet, part of me wondered what Cal’s routine with women was.

  “Alright then, let’s head over.”

  He grabbed the chips, kissed me quick, then took my hand in his free one and led me across the street. Weaving through the station’s living quarters, we rounded the corner to another hallway, and there was a large open kitchen. A long island was in the middle and had a ton of food set out on it. A circular table that could easily fit twelve people was the focal point of the room. Able and Rhett were grilling something on the stove, while Mark and Dave set the table.

  “Wow,” I said. They moved like a unit. A family.

  “Yeah, dinnertime is sort of our thing. We all sit down together and try to be civil for an hour.” Cal winked at me, then said, “I think you’ve caught a glimpse of this area, but over here is where we hang out.”

  A few more steps down the hall, and there was the living room with two large couches, along with four recliners that made a semi-circle around the massive big screen TV hanging on the wall. It was all open and made for guys. One thing I hadn’t noticed before was the pole in the corner.

  “I didn’t know firehouses still came with a pole, even if it’s a single story.”

  “They don’t. This came from when this place was older, we remodeled a while back and kept the pole. It still serves a purpose.” His tone was playful, and his hand slid to my ass.

  “I bet it does.”

  “Any time you feel the need to express yourself, say, spinning around, feel free to use the pole, Kitten.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  He gave me a little smack on the butt and kissed me quick. “That about completes the grand tour, since you’ve seen where the trucks are and my room.”

  I nodded and we headed back to the kitchen. Cal put the chips and dip on the counter next to the other food that was brought.

  “Hey, man,” Able said, wearing the same Golden Fire T-shirt. They were all dressed the same. All on duty. There were two other women there, which I wasn’t prepared for, but happy I wasn’t the only one.

  “Hey,” Cal said to his buddy. “You remember, Lana.”

  “Of course, we’ve been hearing lots about you,” he said. He pointed the large tongs at Cal. “This guy over here talks in his sleep, and I swear to God, if he calls out your name one more time—”

  “Shut up,” Cal said, and flicked a piece of salad at Able.

  “No, it’s Cal here won’t shut up about you,” Able continued. Cal just gave him a “piss off” look, and Able chuckled and motioned for one of the women to come over. A tall blond approached. “This is my wife, Stephanie.”

  “Nice to meet you,” I said to the woman.

  “You too. Do you want some cider?” she offered.

  “That would be great, thanks.” I walked with her to the table where a plethora of drinks were laid out. The guys couldn’t drink alcohol, obviously, but they had everything from Gatorade to sparkling blueberry fiber water. There were also a couple juice boxes.

  I glanced at Cal and laughed at the spread. It was adorable. He just shrugged, and then continued chatting with Able. Every so often, he glanced over his shoulder and tossed me a wink.

  “So, when is the big day?” Stephanie asked, pouring two fresh cups of cider.

  Confusion hit me. “Big day for what?”

  She looked at me, surprised, then at my left hand, then back at me. “Oh, are you and Cal not engaged?”

  Shock took over confusion real quick and a nervous laugh escaped. I felt horrible. Not because the idea of being married to guy like Cal wasn’t a good one, it was just not even close to where we were in our relationship.

  “No, we’re just dating,” I said hesitantly. Partly because the word sounded both too presumptuous and too tame at the same time. What we did, how I felt, went way beyond “dating,” yet the complications that came with our situation made it seem like a pushy step forward.

  “Oh, sorry,” she said. “I just thought that wives and fiancés were the only ones to come to these things.”

  I looked around. It was just me, Stephanie and another woman who had a ring on her finger and was hovering near Dave. Dave’s wife then?

  “I thought these dinners were casual and happened all the time?”

  “They do. I’m so sorry,” she said again, and handed me a mug. “You are more than welcome. It was my mistake to assume. Obviously, you’re very important to Cal. Who needs labels, right?”

  Her sunny smile was welcome, but she was backpedaling. Still, I appreciated her trying to make me feel better. The more I looked on, the more I saw just how this group of people functioned.

  Like a family.

  Everyone knew everyone, and they were all laughing and exchanging stories. This was Cal’s world. A big part of it, and I was on the outside. But part of me so desperately wanted to be more. Closer to him. A part of his world.

  I had a shot with Bea. I felt comfortable with her and loved being a part of her home. But maybe this aspect of Cal’s life I didn’t fit well into. I just stood there, not knowing how to interact or what to do. I was awkward and looking in on something I didn’t fully understand.

  “Here, come meet Trish,” Stephanie said, and hustled me to where Trish was standing. She introduced me. Dave was the first to say something, though.

  “Lana! It’s good to see you back.”

  “So, Cal is yours, huh?” the pretty redhead asked. She reminded me of Harper. Dave just shook his head. “My wife loves gossip.”

  “Do not,” she argued. “Okay, I totally do,” she said with a smile.
“And Cal is great, so I’m excited to see him finally bring one of you around.”

  My face fell, and Dave muttered a curse.

  “Oh, that’s not what I meant. I’m so sorry. That came out really, really wrong.”

  “It’s okay,” I said lowly, trying to take the words, “one of you around,” out of my head. Apparently, everyone knew about Cal’s tastes and lack of commitment. I was starting to feel more like that joke I didn’t want to be. It also made sense now what Cal had said. He hadn’t brought a girl around. What he meant was, he never brought them around his crew.

  “Lana here went up in the ladder,” Dave said, trying to change the subject. He was really a sweet man.

  “Wow,” Trish said. “I can’t get on that thing. I’m way too scared.”

  “Nah, Lana was a champ,” Dave said. His easy personality and happy demeanor made me feel better. Then, his eyes shifted to the grill. “Rhett, have you said hi to Lana?”

  Rhett just nodded and waved, but didn’t say anything.

  “Don’t mind him,” Dave said. “He’s been pissy lately, and none of us knows why.”

  Funny, my best friend had been pissy lately too, and last time I saw her she was getting a snack with Rhett after our run. Something was going on with him and Harper, it had to be.

  “So, tell us how you and Cal met?” Stephanie asked.

  All the eyes turned to me. A shiver of nervousness rose, but they all looked nice and eager to know.

  “He literally swept me off my feet last summer.”

  “Oh, yeah!” Trish said. “The race in the park after the barbecue.”

  “I love that race. Able flips me around, and every time makes me feel like a princess he’s carrying through the woods.”

  I smiled because, yeah, that was what it felt like. These women could relate, and I realized then that while I may be new to this, I could relate too. Because Cal was amazing, a protector, and at every turn tried to make me a part of his world.

  His past, both with women and even further back, was appearing to be trickier than I’d imagined. But the truth remained that Cal hadn’t lied to me. He hadn’t sold me on anything other than what he was.

  Whether it was at the barbecue when I first met him, taking me to his aunt’s, or even now, he was actually letting me in. Something I wasn’t used to, but craving more and more of.

  “I have to admit that I’m glad you’re the one who finally got Cal to settle down. Bets were starting to go around about whether he’d be a bachelor for life,” Stephanie said in a low tone.

  Trish nodded in agreement.

  “I heard he wasn’t really into commitment,” I said.

  They both laughed. “We’ve never seen a woman actually with him. Because he never brought any of them to any events. You must be pretty special.”

  I sipped my cider and glanced at Cal again. He smiled back. There was a warmth behind his eyes that made me melt.

  “I am lucky,” I said, and I meant it. Because I wasn’t just lucky, I was falling hard for the man that seemed to have a way with picking me up and carrying me when I needed him the most.

  Chapter 17

  Chirp.

  “What is that noise?” Cal asked, walking into my house.

  “It’s the alarm. It’s been randomly chirping.”

  Cal frowned at the control unit on the wall and hit a few buttons, then locked the dead bolt.

  “Probably doesn’t help you sleep,” he said.

  “Yeah, it’s annoying. I was going to call the alarm company tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, do that. Just to see why it’s glitching.”

  He followed me toward my room. “You alright? You’ve been quiet.”

  I folded my lips together. I didn’t know what to say. The women were nice, the crew was on their best behavior, from what I could tell. And yet, the thought of women going in and out stuck in my mind.

  I wasn’t a secret. Cal wasn’t keeping me a secret. And I trusted him. So the comments made about him finally “settling down,” rocked me in different ways. I was realizing how much of a “ladies man” he was, and also wondering, if I was the reason he was “settling down.”

  Lots of thoughts. But nothing I wanted to go into. Things would continue to grow and morph how they would. It was nice being a part of the dinner, though.

  “I’m fine. Tonight was fun,” I said, and I kicked off my boots by my bed. “The girls are really nice.”

  “Yeah, they are,” Cal said, and pulled his shirt off. I instantly stilled, hypnotized by his amazing chest and abs, and my mouth salivated like Pavlov’s damn dog.

  Cal chuckled. “You want a taste? All you have to do is come and get it, Kitten.”

  “I just may.”

  Everything about him, about us, in this moment was so…simple. Like a couple getting ready for bed together was a normal thing. Like we could be happy and not have all these past issues hanging over our heads.

  I thought about Jack and how I thought I’d seen him. Then I looked at Cal. I knew, right then, that this was where I wanted to be. Not chasing a shadow. But with Cal.

  “Um…Stephanie said that usually fiancés are the ones to show up to these dinners.”

  “That’s generally true.”

  “But you brought me?”

  “You’re important to me.” He crawled across the bed, then sat in front of me and pulled me to stand between his spread legs. Looking up at me, he cupped my hips, this thumbs running beneath my sweater and along my stomach. “You’re very important to me.”

  “You’re important to me too.”

  He lifted my sweater just enough to place a kiss on my bellybutton. I gently ran my fingers through his hair. The endearment was so delicate, so sensitive, that it made water come to my eyes for some reason.

  “It’s like there’s another word I could use to fully describe how I feel…” he rasped against my skin, his lips trailing along my stomach.

  My gaze shot down. He couldn’t mean what I thought, could he?

  “Another word?” I asked.

  He nodded, delivering another kiss.

  “I’m in—”

  “Crazy?” I asked quickly. Because this was crazy. If he was going to say what it sounded like, I…I didn’t know what to say back. But my heart beat faster and, while I wanted to hear it, wanted it to be true, I was terrified. It was too soon, wasn’t it? There was too much between us, too much we’d have to deal with, like other people, and the past, and….

  With deep emotion in his eyes and said, “Yes, I’m in crazy with you.”

  He was serious. He switched “love” out with the word I gave him, but he meant it, and I felt it. And I wanted it. And him. With everything I was. Everything that was left of me, I was ready to give him.

  I should know better.

  I did know better.

  But the man holding me, actively making me a part of his every day and his life was the one I trusted.

  “Cal,” I whispered, and that water behind my eyes rose further to the surface. “I’m in crazy with you too.”

  A smile lit his face and he instantly rose, cupped my neck, and pulled me in for a searing kiss. I didn’t have time to think or do anything, I just got lost in his kiss and his touch. He maneuvered me onto the bed and laid me on my back, his mouth never leaving mine. Instead, it explored and skimmed along my skin as he removed my sweater, then my jeans.

  Kissing my thighs, my knees, down to my ankles and back.

  “Cal,” I whispered his name and ran my hand through his hair. He rested his chin on my hip. The way his blue eyes sparkled and the position were so intimate, yet so casual, my love looking up at me while his stubble scratched my skin as he smiled.

  “I’m here, love,” he said, kissing my stomach as he hooked his fingers into my panties and slowly peeled them down my legs and off.

  He ran his nose up my knee, to my inner thigh, then sucked the fleshy part into his mouth. I felt so alive. So loved. So seen.

  He trai
led his lips up my ribs, unsnapping my bra and gently licking along my breast thoroughly before taking the nipple in. He sucked slowly, laving attention on my body and skin so much that I felt like a queen. Worshiped and happy and relaxed.

  Lying next to me, he kissed my neck and kicked his jeans down and off. Finally, I felt his hot skin brush against mine. His cock nudged my side, but he didn’t make any move to cover me or enter. He just stayed off to the side, kissing along my throat while his big hand cupped my face, then trailed lower to my core.

  When his fingers found my clit, I jolted a little, but his lips were right there to catch my gasp as he started rubbing. I reached out and grabbed his hard cock in my fist to hang on as he worked me over.

  He just kept rubbing, slow and intent, while he kissed the corner of my mouth and my jaw, taking my breath with his. As I shuddered out an exhale, he’d breathe it in. So in sync. I wanted more. Wanted to be wrapped up in him.

  I wiggled, keeping tight hold of his cock, and tried to line us up. He just kept rubbing, my orgasm climbing and climbing.

  His eyes stayed on my face. Stayed right there with me. I was so close and felt so empty at the same time.

  His free hand slid under my back and wrapped around me, cupping my breast and pulling me close so that I shifted enough for my bottom to line up with his hips and my back pressed against his chest. I threw my leg over his, opening myself more to him.

  He just kept rubbing.

  Over and over, the heat was so intense, the tremors taking over my body were slowly burning me up. With my back against his chest and both of us on our sides, I was spread wide for his hand, his cock running along my thigh, so close to where I needed him.

  “Please,” I begged on a whisper. “I’m going…”

  “Crazy?” he rasped.

  “Yes.” His hold tightened on me and I was done for. I was crazy about Cal. Crazy in love with him.

  Right when his hand picked up speed, bringing my release to the surface, he moved just enough to slip the head of his cock into me. I couldn’t hold back. I came hard, with just the crown inside me and his hand working me over.

  “I’ll never get tired of feeling you come on me,” he rasped, and sank a little deeper, pushing through my contracting inner walls and throwing me into a pleasure spiral I could barely handle. “Keep coming for me. I want you drenched, Kitten. Because you are the one who makes me crazy.”