“Sarai, you finally decided to join us.” Grandmother looked down her at me. Her eyes landed on my simple attire. “Did you forget that this is a celebration?”
Did she forget the dinner was for my sisters and not me? I bit my tongue and shrunk into myself. Arguing with her was pointless when she was in one of her moods. She was a stubborn merwoman. If time could not change that, how could I?
She let out an overdramatic sigh. “Line up. Line up.”
She put Caressa at the front, followed by Calethea. Then there was me, Akello, and Gia. They wore their hair loose. Large afros surrounded their pretty faces. Kinky curls danced around their shoulders. Their eyes and lips were painted gold. Even their golden chain-link tops shined.
I wasn’t bothered by my lack of decorum, and I wasn’t capable of feeling envy toward my sisters. They were all beautiful, with or without the finery.
Caressa was fidgeting, which earned her a quick tap to the back of her head. I tried my best to remain still and invisible. Anything so I could get back to my rooms. The whales were migrating, and I had a perfect view of them from my balcony. Their song matched my somber mood, their cries an echo of my unattainable dream.
“Chins up. Tails tucked,” Grandmother ordered. “Aaaand, go.”
Two servants parted the seaweed curtains. We swam into the hall in a single-file line. Everyone stared as we made our way to our thrones. Faces I had never seen, scale patterns and colors I never imagined possible, all lined up to see the famed mermaidens of Rotan.
Father waited on his dais with a severe expression on his face. His dark gray beard curled around his face, and the scowl that always tugged on his dark brown lips was on display. The deep blue scales on his tale glimmered as sea horses swam in circles around his throne. Dolphins dropped coins and jewels around us. Small merchildren collected them and threw them over their heads, their laughter too loud to my ears.
Finally, we made it to our seats. I curled my tail beneath me, like a cushion, and sat with my spine straight and my head high. I tried to avoid the judgmental eyes that were picking over every detail of our bodies.
I suddenly felt self-conscious about my appearance. Were our scales shiny enough? Our hair full? Did they notice how smooth our skin was? Maybe I should have painted my lips. A little color to my eyes wouldn’t have hurt. A top that showed a little more to draw the eye…
Akello squeezed my hand. The small gesture reminded me that I was enough. I relaxed and smiled at the crowd.
I met a pair of curious gray eyes the color of the Southern Sea, and my face warmed. I broke eye contact and stared at the back of Father’s throne.
“Welcome,” his voice echoed through the auditorium. “It has been many moons since we have held a celebration of this size. Many of you have traveled from far and wide to attend this glorious event.”
The crowd cheered. He lifted his hand in the air, and everyone was instantly silent. “My daughters are now of marrying age, and we hope to form solid family ties with our neighbors, but as a father, I have to make sure my daughters are in safe hands.”
I didn’t expect any less. We were Father’s gems. Mother’s blood flowed through us. He spent time and made many sacrifices to make sure we were well taken care of.
“Tonight, I present Princess Caressa.”
My eldest sister left her seat and stood before our father. She smiled sweetly before releasing a long, single note that morphed into a symphony that rolled like the waves. When she finished, she gave the crowd a sultry smile and elegantly made her way back to her throne.
“Princess Calethea.” Father beamed with pride.
Calethea’s brilliant eyes danced with excitement, yet she took her time swimming to the front of the dais. She planted a kiss on Father’s cheek and giggled when he sighed and waved her forward.
She pretended to pick something off her dainty tail before raising her chin and looking down at the crowd, as if she saw them all and found them lacking.
She parted her full lips, and her words were bright and playful. She brought forward beloved memories of warm days in the garden, shared smiles between close friends, and love. Sweet, sweet love that one would give anything to feel. Stolen kisses and soft hands. She encompassed passion in all its aspects.
When she finished, there were goofy smiles on most faces. Everyone’s eyes shined like light on the water. They were completely oblivious to the magic. They didn’t care that the daze they were in was of her making. Calethea smiled and sauntered back to her throne.
“And last, but certainly not least.” Father’s voice sounded far away, as if I had been plucked and placed in the abyss with the kraken. “My middle daughter,” Father said, and Akello tightly gripped my hand. “Sarai.”
I sat still as stone. My pulse beat in my ears, and I felt myself shrink down into the seat. This wasn’t my time to sing. I wasn’t supposed to have been called during the presentation. This time was reserved for the princesses who were of marrying age, not me.
“Go,” Calethea hissed from behind long golden-tipped claws. “You are embarrassing us.”
Was she truly that selfish? Anger flared deep within me, and I rose from my seat. Embarrassing? I would show her what true embarrassment was. I would show them all who was truly lacking, and it wasn’t me.
I looked at Father from beneath my lashes. I cradled my hands in front of me and tried to make myself look small and demure as I made my way to the dais. I didn’t greet him as I passed. I didn’t offer him a spare glance.
I stood before the kingdoms and stared out with what I hoped to be wide, nervous eyes. Many looked at me with sympathy. They saw a timid, awkward mermaiden, modest in her dressing. They thought I was fragile, plain compared to my sisters. I would prove them all wrong. Tonight they would feel what real singing was capable of.
I slowly placed a hand against my neck and cleared my throat. Many laughed. Others began to rudely whisper. That stopped when I released one long, powerful note that was pure magic.
I bent over, my hand at my chest, as if it restrained the song that fought to be released. I let the note linger before dropping my hand down to my stomach.
Power rose up in my throat. I parted my lips and allowed it to encompass the room. My voice was beauty. It was grace. It was power.
I raised my head as I belted out the last of my rage and finished with a sweet note that could bring tears to the eyes of even the most hardened warrior.
I did all that and more—yet it sounded fake in my ears, my voice bleak, my words nothing more than lies even though I knew the crowd thought otherwise. Misty eyes and blank faces were proof that my magic was still powerful, but it wasn’t what it could be. It wasn’t like the man’s.
I smiled softly and went back to my seat. This part was over, but the presentation was only the beginning.
∞∞∞
“Forgive me,” Akello mouthed as dinner was served.
I raised an eyebrow and looked around the room with what I hoped to be a bored expression on my face.
Inside I was a crumbling mess. My heart was beating in my ears, fast and loud as it fought to escape my chest. I tried to meet Father’s eyes, but everyone was vying for his attention. The dining room was loud, and everyone tried to out boast the other.
One merman bragged about his sea and the bountiful fish that provided more than enough food for his people. Another claimed to have the softest sands and brightest gardens. A merwoman rebuked that claim and called the man a liar. An argument ensued.
I was watching with mild interest when I felt a tap against my shoulder. It was the merman with the stormy eyes. He smiled and nodded toward the scuffle. “Five clams he will back down first.”
I turned back around and smiled. The man was green in the face. His bright red hair was falling out of its tie. The woman appeared to be cool and collected, but her hands were clenched into small fists. “I bet one pearl that she swings first.”
“A high merlady like that?” He raised a ne
at eyebrow. “Deal.”
I smiled smugly, sat back, and watched. Minutes later, the loud crack of fist against jaw rattled the table. I was right. She had swung first, and by the green blood that freely flowed around the male, it was a good hit indeed.
I turned around to claim my prize and found the spot empty. The sore loser had run off.
I sat back, disappointed by the mysterious merman’s disappearance, and watched as the two troublemakers were led away by guards. Dinner continued as if nothing had happened.
After we finished dining, we moved to the grand ballroom that hadn’t been used in years. The tropical fish that had been brought in from the reef swam around the guests, completely unfazed by the rowdy merfolk.
I tried to put some distance between me and my sisters. The guilty look in their eyes confirmed that they knew about Father and his decision to marry me off. I didn’t want to hear their excuses or weak apologies. I couldn’t wrap my mind or emotions around it. By the end of the night, there would be royalty lining up to ask my father for his blessing. For my hand in marriage.
The night went quickly. I was introduced to many merfolk, their names forgotten as soon as it left their tongues. I tried to show polite interest, but by the end, I couldn’t wipe the scowl off my face if I tried.
I watched in annoyance as a line formed before the dais. Merfolk of all backgrounds bravely faced the king and his three daughters. Akello and Gia had been sent to bed long ago, considered too young for the events that happen late at night.
By the end of the night, there were nine suitors Father had personally picked. I was shocked to see the silver-eyed man among the group. He winked and turned to speak to a gray-haired woman with tattoos down the middle of her spine.
I sighed and looked away. He was pretty, but a nice face wasn’t enough to draw my eye. He was just another merman out of thousands, and it would take more than a smile to win my heart.
Chapter Three
Sarai
“Sarai, please talk to me.” Caressa fussed over breakfast the morning after the dinner. “If I could have told you, I would have. Father made us promise.”
I nibbled on a bit of kelp and looked the other way. I was going to be petty and lock myself away, but I wanted to see the looks on their faces.
“Let her pout.” Calethea brushed her heavy braid off her shoulder. “She is being selfish.”
I bristled at her words. Selfish for being upset that I would be forced into marriage? Selfish for wanting more?
I sighed and picked up another piece of limp kelp. She wouldn’t understand. She was content with her boring life. Getting engaged would be the most excitement she had ever felt.
“See. She ignores us. She doesn’t care that we feel guilt,” Calethea snarled as she rose from her seat.
I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. I didn’t believe she meant to be spiteful. I really didn’t. She was self-centered like a child. If something didn’t affect her directly, she didn’t notice it. She was emotionally blind, lacked empathy, and didn’t care to gain any.
I wanted to be selfish. I could leave them behind and not think twice. If I were truly selfish, I would follow my heart and not my head.
“Why does my silence bother you so?” I stared into her light brown eyes. “Why do you care if I marry? Why are you so worried about me?” I said with as much venom as a stonefish.
“I-I," she stuttered, taken aback by the ferocity in my voice.
“We’re worried about you.” Caressa stared me down. “You have been acting out of character lately.”
“I haven’t done anything!” I tapped my nails against the stone table.
They all looked at each other, communicating in that special way only us siblings could, but this time, I wasn’t included. For the first time in my life, I felt disconnected from my sisters.
Calethea’s stare didn’t waver. “We know about the man.”
My mouth popped open. Her words bounced around my head. They knew. Father knew. It explained why Grandmother was constantly checking in on me. My mouth felt as if it had been filled with sand.
“I made Akello tell me. I told Grandmother, who told Father.” Calethea shrugged her slender shoulders.
I wanted to scratch the smug look off her face. All this was nothing more than entertainment to her. She didn’t care about my feelings or my safety. She wanted to see me hurt.
“You should have left him to the sea!” Caressa cried. “He shouldn’t have been this far out, and you weren’t supposed to be that close to the surface, especially not with the young ones!”
“Caressa.” Calethea placed her hand on her shoulder.
“No.” She shook her off. “She has been coddled all her life. She has to learn. A husband is exactly what she needs. One who can control her since she has no sense of control herself.”
She slammed her fork down and swam off. Calethea sighed and shook her head. Her plaits floated around her head like eels.
“Let’s go for a swim,” she offered, her eyes hard. “I heard of a ship that was found not far from here.”
I looked at Akello and Gia. They stared back with wide, frightened eyes. “We will stay,” they squeaked simultaneously.
I rolled my eyes and pushed my plate to the side. I didn’t want to go see a sunken ship. I wanted to get away from all of them. “No. Don’t you have suitors to entertain?”
“They can wait. I just want to spend time with my sister.” When I remained in my seat and picked up another piece of kelp, she said in a calm and steady voice, “Soon I will be gone, and we won’t be able to spend time together.”
I wanted to scream, but instead, I swallowed my food and nodded. “Fine.”
The ship was magnificent, even though it lay in two halves. Bright coral and fluorescent algae covered its surface.
“We were raised to be married off. Why act as if you didn’t know that it would happen one day?” She dove down to the ship’s deck.
“I didn’t know it would happen so soon.” I picked up a piece of a broken clay jar. “I’m still young. I haven’t seen half of what the world has to offer.”
I didn’t want to be someone’s wife, and I wasn’t ready to be a queen. Everything I knew about the world I learned from Grandmother or from our historians. They were wrong about the walkers, and only the goddess knew what else they lied about.
“Most mermaidens are wed at fifteen. We should be happy that anyone even wants us.”
I raised an eyebrow. “They want us for our voices. We could be two hundred and still find ourselves kings.”
“You could be an old mermaid and find yourself a king. You’re the one with the golden voice. Caressa and I don’t have that luxury.” She picked a starfish off the mast and threw it overboard.
“I am no better than you.” I shook my head. “They only say that because I resemble Mother.”
“No, Sarai.” Calethea smiled sadly. “It’s not just your appearance. Your voice is divine.”
We swam over the deck, and I admired the spiraling ladders and rails. A large octopus had made one of the cannons its home, and hundreds of starfish clung to the fallen masts.
“She must have been a beauty on the surface.” I admired the ghastly ship. “Has anyone been inside?”
“No. Father didn’t want anyone near it.” She averted her eyes.
“Why?” I dove down to the bow and wiped away the thick green carpet that covered a familiar face.
The lovely woman with the wings.
I was as if I had been thrown into the abyss. A never-ending darkness consumed me, and I couldn’t keep myself from falling into a deep, dark space. I hit a wall and was thrown back.
Heartless. Father had the nerve to call the walkers vicious, but he was no better than what he claimed them to be.
“You’re all cruel.” The words slipped from my lips.
“Sarai.” My sister’s arms wrapped around me, but her touch was cold.
I pushed her away with as much force as
I could muster. “What did you do?” I sobbed. “What did you do?” I repeated over and over again.
“The ship would not stop circling our waters. Akello told us what happened. How a man bewitched you with just his voice. We told Father, and he ordered that the ship be sunk.”
I didn’t want to hear her excuses. That was all they were: excuses. They had destroyed something beautiful.
“He was mine!” I cried. “He was different.”
He was proof that there was beauty on the surface. His voice drew me from my monotonous life and opened the door to other possibilities. He made me want more than a simple life at someone’s side. He made me feel like I was more than just a princess.
“No.” She shook her head. “Wipe his memory from your mind. You have suitors willing to give their lives for your hand. Show them the attention they deserve.”
She swam off and left me alone with the sunken ship and my broken heart. I knew then that this life wasn’t for me. My family would never change and I didn’t want to be like them.
I wanted more. I wanted to leave the sea and see the world, and no matter how many ships they sunk or suitors they summoned, they wouldn’t change my mind.
My life was mine, and I would choose what I would do with it.
Chapter Four
Sarai
I spent a week locked away in my rooms. I didn’t dine with my family, and I refused to meet with my suitors. I didn’t leave my bed when Father came to see me. I didn’t even speak.
I was livid.
I spent my days and nights lost in my thoughts. I imagined how life could be if I weren’t confined to the sea. Everything would be so different if I had legs. It was an image I’d dreamed of since that fateful day, always out of reach, mere inches from my grasp. Now it was as elusive as the moon.
Not only had my dream been taken from me, but it had also been by those I loved. The trust I shared with my sisters was broken. I felt alone. I was afraid.
I wasn’t ready to marry. I would never be able to settle knowing there was more out there. The man had awakened something within me. It felt as if he’d unlocked a door and I only needed to push it open. It was as if I was on the verge of change.
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