The war inside was evident on her face. Leaving everything you knew behind was a big step to take. Many wouldn’t have the courage to do so, but she was Silenda. Curiosity was second nature to them. They hungered for new information like a drunk craved their spirits and went to great lengths to gain it.
“Come on,” I coaxed. “You are welcome in my court. Your mental prowess would be valued.” She looked back at the ocean. The light of the moon rippled on the calm waves. “You will be safe. I promise.”
Chapter Thirteen
Sarai
I swam up to a wall of light and watched as a strange woman stared back with glowing silver eyes. She was naked, her hair loose, with a pair of long legs that were covered in shining scales of all shapes and colors.
I reached up and placed my hand against the barrier and cocked my head to the side. The woman mirrored my movements, and the wall rippled like a pool of water. I gasped and stepped back. Mirror me stood still and watched with those unsettling eyes. She gave me one long look before exploding into a ball of fire.
She broke through the wall and hurtled toward me. She slammed through me and stole the scream from my throat. Fire replaced the blood in my veins and burned me from the inside out. I tried to scream for help, but no one could hear me. There was no one there to help. I was alone.
I was dying.
Goddess, please, I pleaded as darkness slowly consumed my thoughts. Help me.
The soft brush of fingertips woke me from my nightmare. An ache in my head ebbed and flowed like a tide. Waves of nausea only added to my discomfort. I opened my eyes, and the room spun out of control.
“Take a deep breath.” Someone placed their hand on my back. “Breathe,” they repeated with more force.
My head whipped around, and my eyes landed on wooden walls, a desk in the corner of the room, and the small window where light was brightly shining through.
“Princess?” Xiomara bent over and looked into my eyes, concern obvious on her pinched face. “How do you feel?”
I felt my lips move, but no sound came out. I cleared my throat and tried again. Nothing. Not one word. Not a sound. A misty haze filled my head. A hard, painful lump formed in my throat, and my eyes burned.
My voice. I had no voice. It wasn’t a dream.
I felt myself break like a vase, the last shred of normalcy shattered into pieces around me. I let myself fall back into the cold darkness that was better than reality.
∞∞∞
“She is in shock,” someone whispered.
“She can’t speak.” I recognized Xiomara’s voice. “Was it the shift?”
“No. Shifting only changed her tail. Maybe it will return with time.” I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.
I opened my eyes and looked at my tail. If I could scream, I would have. Bile filled my mouth. My tail was gone, and in its place were two long, clumsy legs that were covered in iridescent scales. I hated them, and I hated the way the material of the bed felt like coarse sand against the sensitive skin. I tried to rise from the bed.
“Let me help you.” Xiomara rushed over and helped me into a sitting position.
“Welcome back.” Etan grimaced. “All of this must be a shock.”
I looked down at the brown robe that had been wrapped around my body. I tried to stand and wobbled back and forth. I sucked in air when a shock ran down my hip.
“One foot after the other.” Xiomara watched within arm’s reach.
I looked down at the ground and did as she advised. The sensation of wood against my new feet was strange. The ground was cold and only added to my discomfort. I tried curling my toes and gagged when they popped.
“It’s as if walking is in your second nature, don’t you agree?” She looked at Etan.
“Yes.” His voice was deep and tired. “Xiomara, can you help her orient herself?”
“Of course.”
My eyes followed him as he swept out of the room. He didn’t look at me when he left. He didn’t say bye.
I walked over to the small window and looked out at the vast ocean. The water was bright and green, white-capped waves brushed against the ship, and the sound of the water was familiar but alien to my ears.
“Princess?” Xiomara stood beside me. “I know this is…difficult.”
I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. I wanted to laugh. Difficult? Difficult was not the word.
I woke up on a ship with legs and no voice. I was headed to an unknown land with a liar and a woman I befriended when I was desperate for company. I couldn’t remember what happened or how I got here. It was as if I had been pulled from my body and placed in someone else’s. I didn’t feel comfortable in my own skin.
“I know. I know. I can’t find the words to describe what is going on, but you have to trust that this change is for the best. You have missed a lot in the past two weeks.”
Two weeks? I was just in my room last night trying on my new lock—
I reached down and pressed my fingers against the hollow in my throat. An ache blossomed at the touch.
“The locket was cursed. It put you into a trance.” She picked up a cup. “You were not yourself.”
Faint memories rose in response to her words. Flashes of dancing, powerful blue eyes, my grandmother’s face, and Sitario.
My stomach rolled, and my legs gave out from beneath me. Xiomara caught me before I hit the ground and helped me back to the bed.
“Easy now,” she huffed.
I grabbed her hand and pulled her down. “Tell me everything,” I mouthed, my voice nothing but air.
“I don’t know much.” She shook her head. “It was as if another took over your body. You were attending dinners and events on Sitario's arm. You dismissed me from your service and replaced me with a servant who wouldn’t allow anyone near you.” Her nostrils flared. “Etan tried to save you, but you enchanted him with your siren song and stabbed him.”
My brain stuttered. Every part of me froze as my memory caught up to what she was saying. I wanted to sink into the bed and disappear. I felt dirty. My body and mind had been violated, and all I could do was watch from behind that clear wall.
I had been lost within myself for weeks, and no one noticed. My family hadn’t done anything to help even though I cried out to them. They smiled at me as I slowly died inside.
“The king had him locked away, but I helped him escape. For two weeks, we waited, and on the night of your wedding, he swam in, and somehow everyone ended up blind. He changed our tails using magic and summoned a ship.” Xio took a deep breath. “And now we are here.”
“Etan was the walker I saved.” I searched her face for a reaction, but the news had no effect. She knew.
“Yes. He said he had to come back for you. He never forgot what you did for him.” She clasped her hands together, and her eyes got glassy. “Love is powerful.”
A part of me couldn’t wrap my mind around it all. I felt so tired, my brain calcified like coral. How could a complete stranger care more about me than my own flesh and blood? Etan and Xiomara had risked their lives to save me. Etan had shown more loyalty than my own sisters.
I wanted to rip my broken heart from my chest. The pain from their betrayal hurt more than any physical wound. They claimed they loved me, but that wasn’t love. You didn’t allow a loved one to go through that.
Xio placed her hand on my leg and looked me in the eyes. “Do you want to step on deck? I have never been in these waters, but they are glorious.”
I saw the longing in her eyes, and the weight of the situation settled on my chest. She had left her home too. She wasn’t raised knowing she would one day leave all those she held dear behind like I had been. This was all new and foreign to her as it was to me. She was probably terrified.
I threw my arms around her neck and pulled her close. Her body stiffened, but she wrapped her arms around me. We held each other and wept. The sea was the only comforting sound in the misery-filled room.
Chapter Fourteen<
br />
Sarai
The small ship docked, and we were led onto a soggy wooden deck. The silver moon was low in the light purple sky, daybreak not too far behind. I found walking on land difficult. Etan claimed it was due to being on the boat for two weeks. I knew he was being nice. I was still getting used to walking, and even on the boat, I was prone to tripping and falling without reason. Gravity wasn’t my friend, and I wasn’t used to the world pushing down on me.
“I’ll wait over here.” Etan gave us some time to stare out at the ocean before leading us toward a large wooden contraption that was anchored to two four-legged beasts with long silver hair that flowed down their backs.
They tossed their mighty heads and whipped their tails back and forth. One snorted and stomped the hard ground. I drew back and tripped over my awkward legs.
“Careful.” Etan pushed up against me. The feel of his body against mine sent small shocks through me. “These are horses. They are trained, but they do sense when someone is afraid.”
He took my hand and gently led me into the wooden cage. I cautiously entered and settled down on the soft seat. Xiomara joined me, and Etan entered last and sat down across from me. The door shut with an audible click, and we lurched forward. Curtains swung open, and bright orange light streamed in.
My head was pounding, my senses overwhelmed by the barrage of sights, sounds, and scent. The air outside had been heavy with salt. Inside what Etan called the carriage, a sickeningly sweet odor saturated the fabric.
Birds sang from branches of trees. I never knew there were so many of them in all sizes and colors, and they were everywhere.
We rode for hours, and eventually, my companions drifted to sleep. Etan’s soft snores filled the small space, and Xiomara mumbled as she slept.
Etan lay at an awkward angle with his arm wrapped around his side. I flexed my fingers as if I still held the blade, and my stomach twisted with guilt.
“He doesn’t blame you.” Xiomara stretched. “You didn’t know what you were doing.”
I gave her a tight nod and looked out the window. The thing was, I did know what I was doing. I watched everything as it happened. I just couldn’t speak. My body wasn’t mine to control.
Etan wasn’t making things better. I felt his unease around me, and I didn’t know if it was because of my new appearance, lack of voice, or the fact that he almost lost his life because of me.
I had nothing to offer, no dowry or alliance to secure my place, and I was mute. My most powerful weapon was gone as if I had never possessed it to begin with. What was I going to do if he decided he didn’t want me? Where would I go? I couldn’t go back to Rotan. I was useless as a princess now that I couldn’t sing. No one would marry me now that I was maimed.
The carriage came to an abrupt stop, and I was thrown into Etan's lap. He jolted from his seat, his eyes wild and searching. “Are you all right?” He looked me over.
I gave him a quick nod and looked at Xiomara.
“I'm fine,” she said as she rubbed her head.
Etan gently helped me back into my seat and pulled out a blade I hadn’t noticed he was carrying. “Wait here,” he ordered before stepping outside.
I pulled on Xiomara’s arm. “Do you think he needs help?” I mouthed.
Whoever it was probably didn’t know we were inside. I was in unknown waters, surrounded by strange fish. We didn’t know who was a predator, and I wasn’t going to become prey.
“Rylo?” Etan called out.
“Etan?” a deep baritone voice answered. “You son of a gryphon, where have you been?”
“Here and there.” Etan popped his head into the carriage. “Come out, I want you to meet someone.”
Xio shrugged. “After you, Princess.”
Etan offered me a hand and helped me down the narrow steps of the rocking carriage. “Sarai, may I introduce you to Rylo.”
The dark-haired man graciously bowed before me. “Very nice to meet you.” He smiled, and small dimples formed in his cheeks. There was a childlike innocence to his gentle eyes.
“And this is lady Xiomara.” Etan swept his hand in her direction. I winced, sure we stuck out like sore thumbs.
“My lady,” he greeted with more enthusiasm. “Etan, where did you find such women? Such beauty is rare, like spotting a troll outside of the Senestal Forest.”
“Ah.” Etan frowned. “That tongue of yours has not changed. Tell me, old friend, where are you headed?”
“Back home, actually. I am returning from the eastern borders. The forest elves invited me to their summer festival a year ago, and they just let me go.” He placed his hand on his chest and shook his head.
“I’m sure you had a great time.” Etan threw his head back and laughed.
“It was…different, I’ll say that much.” Rylo chuckled. His horse stomped on the ground and snorted. “How about you, old friend? Headed home?”
“Yes. I have grown weary. The warmth of my bed calls me.” Etan pulled on his tunic. “And a change of clothes.”
“Phadrah will be…overjoyed.” He raised an eyebrow. I didn’t miss the question in his statement.
“Yes. I’m sure she’s ready for a break." Etan cleared his throat and pulled on his neckline. “We all are.”
Who was Phadrah? I turned to ask Xiomara a question, but she was staring at the man named Rylo as if he would reach out and gobble her up. I couldn’t blame her.
He was a large man in both body and presence. He sat upon his horse as if it was only an extension of him. He wore dark robes that highlighted his dark eyes and slick black curls. A curved sword hung at his hip, and the pommel of another stuck out of his bag.
I tapped on her shoulder and pointed at my lips. “Ask who Phadrah is, please.”
Xiomara shook herself out of her daze. “The princess would like to know who this Phadrah is.”
I caught the dirty look Etan threw Rylo before he looked at me. “She is a family friend. You will meet her when we get to the palace.” He swooped around and opened the carriage door. “We need to continue. I will ride at the front with Rylo. It will give you more space to spread out.”
I placed my foot on the step and turned to look him in his eyes. I wasn’t sure what it was that I was looking for, or why I cared to begin with. I sniffed and raised my chin in distaste.
I wasn’t stupid. If this Phadrah wanted him, she could have him. I would never fight over a man, and I wasn’t going to be anyone’s second choice.
I had more to worry about than him and his courtesan. I had to find a way to get in contact with my sisters. Akello and Gia would age, and their time to marry would come in the blink of an eye. I had no doubt that Grandmother would use them like she’d tried to use me.
What would happen then? Would I be able to sleep knowing one of my sisters may be trapped away in their own minds, chained to a sadistic man who would ruin them mentally, physically, and emotionally?
I took my seat and closed my eyes. I just wanted to fall asleep and stay that way, unfazed by the world and the things happening around me. Unbothered by my future husband’s strange behavior.
I wanted to stop thinking and feeling. If only for a day.
I would give anything—if I had anything to give—for peace, but I didn’t, so I swallowed my pride and I cried.
Chapter Fifteen
Sarai
We rode all day and well into the night. I was enchanted by the rolling green hills that seemed to stretch on forever and the tall, pointed trees that released a sweet aroma when the leaves stirred. I enjoyed watching squirrels dart through trees and was pleasantly surprised when a bird landed on the window and chirped a happy tune.
We were all having a good time. All except Etan, who hadn’t spoken a word to me during our brief stops. His friend, on the other hand, was as talkative as the birds who lived in the trees.
Rylo told us he was a hermit who traveled from one place to another. As free and wild as the wind. He was nice company even though we weren’
t allowed to tell him about ourselves.
I didn’t understand why Etan wanted us to keep it secret. People were bound to ask questions, and I was sure they would want to know where the two strange new females hailed from.
We rolled to a stop in front of an old building covered in vines and little white flowers. Rylo took the carriage and the horses around the back while we went inside. A squat woman with bulging eyes and long graying hair greeted us at the door. She hardly spared us a glance before she handed Etan four keys.
“My companions are in dire need of clothing.” He slid a golden coin into her hand.
“I ain’t got no dresses.” Her teeth were brown, her thin lips stained black. “I gots me suh trousers and suh tunics.”
“We will take them. Have them brought to the ladies’ rooms along with hot water to bathe with.”
She led us up a flight of stairs and showed us to our rooms. They weren’t elegant, but the bed was soft, and the space was deliciously warm. I even had a window that offered wondrous views of a red mountain.
I slept like a baby. My body was worn down from the long ride and bursts of uncontrollable crying. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t dream of anything or anyone. It was the most peaceful rest I had been able to get in many nights.
In the morning, a low knock had me lurching out of bed and reaching for my itchy robe. The bright light that streamed through the window burned my eyes and had me stumbling around the room. I hastily threw on my clothes and slowly cracked the door. There was no one there.
“Down here.” Someone tugged on my hem. It was a boy with pointed ears and bright silver eyes. “I brought you these.” He stuffed a ball of clothing into my arms. “Mistress says I have to make sure you have all that you need.”
I pointed at my throat. Confusion twisted his features.
“Thirsty?” He cocked his head to the side. I shook my head and pointed at my lips. His eyes glittered with amusement. “Food?”
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