by Tina Martin
“Carter, stop yelling at me,” Shayla said, her voice cracking.
“Seems that’s the only way you can hear me,” he said even louder, if that was possible. “I can’t believe this! We ain’t even been married for two weeks and here you go starting some—”
“I don’t want to start anything. I just asked you a question and look at your reaction. What’s wrong with you, Carter?”
“You need to ask yourself that. I’m done talking to you! Done!” Carter turned around, headed downstairs, back to the den.
Shayla stood there in the hallway for a moment more, trying to make sense of what happened. And after she got a hold of herself, she quietly walked downstairs, took her purse and keys from the kitchen table and walked out the front door. She needed to get away from the house. Time alone would give them both a chance to cool down.
Chapter 22
She found herself at Southpark Mall, browsing shops, thinking about how great it would be to have girlfriends to confide in at this moment, but she had no friends, well besides Rebecca, but that was more of a work-type friendship, not a shoulder-to-cry-on friendship. The only real friend she had was her husband, and from the looks of it, he didn’t want to be anywhere near her. Two hours had passed since she left the house and he hadn’t even called to see where she’d run off to. Did he even know she was gone? Or was he so angry, he didn’t care?
Shayla walked in Belk, browsing skinny jeans and fall gear. Bored with that, she headed to The Cheesecake Factory, ordered a strawberry daiquiri and sat there, alone, watching a little boy at a nearby table whine like a two-year old – only he was much older. Nine, maybe ten.
She took her straw and twirled it around in her drink, just daydreaming, but her thoughts were interrupted by her cell ringing. She took it from her purse, checked to see who it was as if that was necessary. Carter was bound to call sooner or later.
“What?” she answered.
“That’s how you gon’ answer the phone when I call you?” he asked with anger in his voice.
“You’re lucky I answered at all.”
“Where are you?”
Shayla sighed, thought about ordering another drink but dismissed the idea since she had to drive home.
“I said, where are you, Shayla?” Carter asked impatiently, as he paced the sidewalk in his front yard.
“I’m at the mall.” Shayla rolled her eyes as if he could see her.
“Which mall?”
“What does it matter?”
“Which mall, Shayla?”
“Southpark.”
“When are you coming home?”
Shayla checked her watch. The time was fifteen minutes past ten. “Not sure.”
“You’re not sure?” Carter repeated with raised brows.
“I’ll be there in a lil’ while.”
“How long is a lil’ while?” he tossed back.
“I don’t know, Carter. I need time to think. Can I have that, or—”
“I want you home…now. We’ll talk when you get here.”
“You mean you’ll yell at me again and smack the wall…not talk.”
Carter was so angry, he felt warmer than usual. And it didn’t help that it was muggy outside. “What time are you going to be home?”
Shayla sighed. “I’ll be there in a few.”
“Stop playing with me, Shay, and tell me when.”
“I don’t know when,” Shayla said raising her voice. It was so loud in the restaurant, she hadn’t disturbed anyone. She fit right in.
“So you want me to come there? That’s what you want?”
“And why would I want you to come here when I left the house to get away from you?”
Carter rubbed his head with his right hand out of frustration and asked as calmly as he could, “When are you going to be here?”
Shayla closed her eyes, took a moment to calm down. As much as she longed for marriage, like every other woman on the planet, now she realized it wasn’t all pink roses and champagne. Marriage was hard, no matter how much you love the person you’re with. The highs and lows took a toll on a person, and making the union work required more patience than the average person possessed.
Shayla thought about calling Rebecca, spending the night at her place instead of facing Carter tonight. Maybe he needed more time to cool off.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes,” she said crestfallen. “Is that good enough for you?”
“Yeah. Fine. And if you’re not here in twenty minutes, I will be on my way to Southpark Mall.”
Shayla rolled her eyes, ended the call and slid her phone back in her purse. She paid for her drink, left a five dollar tip on the table and headed for her car.
* * *
At home now, she walked in the house slinging her purse carelessly to the living room couch. She could hear the TV still going in the family room, so she figured Carter was in there. So continuing on upstairs, she undressed and stepped in the shower, squeezing berry scented body wash on a loofa and rubbing it all around her body. She shampooed her hair too, all the while thinking about Carter, their fast marriage and how they didn’t know much about each other. And had she ever seen him so angry?
Carter heard her come in. He’d been patiently waiting for her to get there, sitting in the family room, on the couch with his head hanging low, wondering how he could let himself get so angry with her and what he would do to make things right between them.
After giving her a few more minutes to get settled, he jogged upstairs, took a kiss from her without even saying a word and they were on the bed loving each other the way they should’ve been instead of fighting.
“I’m sorry,” he said, softly into her ear.
“Me too.” She leaned forward to kiss him.
“I didn’t mean to yell at you, baby,” he told her.
“I know.”
“It’s just that I don’t like talking about my brother…never been able to come to terms with how things ended between us.”
Shayla kissed his chest. “That’s okay, Carter. We don’t have to talk about it. I understand.”
“No, I want to talk about it.” He squeezed a chunk of her hair. “And I do want to share my life and my past with you. Don’t ever think I don’t, okay?”
“Okay,” Shayla whispered.
Carter took a much needed breath. “My brother and I were very close back in the day but as we got older, we drifted apart. I never had a chance to make things right with him and it weighs heavily on my conscience. Have you ever wished you would’ve said something to somebody, and you never got the chance to?”
“Yeah.” Shayla knew that feeling all too well.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Shayla closed her eyes, fully relaxed trailing the length of his left arm with her right hand, finding his hand and interlocking their fingers.
Carter held her tight and let his worries subside, just for the night, but come morning, his anxiety was sure to return. Because even though he strategically gotten past what could’ve been a very bad situation, he was now troubled even more because at some point, Shayla would want to know his brother’s name. And then it would be downhill from there.
Chapter 23
Shayla kissed Carter on the cheek as he sat at the kitchen table, flipping through the newspaper at six in the morning.
“Good morning, sweetie,” he told her, watching her walk around the table.
“Good morning.” She walked to the countertop, and standing in front of the coffee maker, she poured coffee in two mugs, stirred in some cream and sugar and placed one on the table in front of him.
He dropped the newspaper and took a sip of coffee. “Thank you, baby.”
“You’re welcome.” Shayla sat next to him and took a sip of coffee. “What are you doing dressed so early?”
“I gotta run by the office…pick up some documents.” Carter took another sip. “Plus, I didn’t sleep much last night so I got up earlier than normal.”
“Why could
n’t you sleep?”
“I spent most of the night watching you sleep.”
“You did?” Shayla said blushing, feeling flattered.
“Yep.”
“Why?”
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
“About us, of course. I didn’t want to admit it yesterday, but you made some valid points about us not knowing much about each other. So last night, I’m watching you sleep and all the while I’m thinking how grateful I am to have found you, found love and happiness. But then I also think about our marriage, about how I love you with all my heart, but I don’t know you with all of it. For instance, why do you hold me so tightly when we make love?”
A nervous smile touched her lips. “Because I love you, but I didn’t realize I was squeezing you so hard. I’ll try to be more conscience of it.”
“I actually like it, Shayla. I just wanted to know why you did it.” Carter set the mug aside. “And the scratches…I see scratches on your face and your body but I don’t know where they came from, though I know they tell a story.”
Shayla felt her heart sink. “I thought you said you didn’t care about my scars.”
“I don’t. I mean…how can I put this? Um, I think you’re beautiful regardless of the scars, but I want to know how they got there.”
Shayla frowned and closed her eyes. Looking at him she said, “My life on the street was rough, Carter. I’ve been through things I don’t even want to think about…let alone talk about.”
“Yeah, but I’m your husband. I want to know you. Completely. We should know each other on a level that no one else does. Isn’t that the reason why you were so upset with me yesterday? Because you didn’t know I had a brother.”
“Yeah, but—”
“So why put up a wall when I ask you a few questions? I just want simple answers. I think I’m entitled.”
“Entitled?” Shayla said with raised eyebrows.
Carter sighed, realizing he’d chosen the wrong words. “Okay…I think I deserve that much. Better?”
Shayla took a sip of coffee and stared down into her mug.
“No comment?” Carter asked.
She glanced up at him. “I really don’t want to talk about my life on the street. You know how painful that was for me.”
“I only know because you say it’s painful. I need details, Shayla.”
“Why? Why now?”
“Because I want our relationship to be deeper.”
Shayla sighed. “Carter, I can’t—”
“Why not?”
“Because I can’t.”
“I broke down and told you about my brother. You can’t be the same way with me?” he asked, playing the brother angle when he was fully aware he hadn’t told her everything about his brother, his name being the most important.
“I want to talk to you about it but—”
“Then talk to me, baby,” he coached.
Her eyes floated up and down his face, staring at his lips, then his eyes again. She took a deep breath. “Where do I start?”
“When you were on the streets, where did you sleep?”
“I was at a homeless shelter in the beginning…then I started staying under an overpass, and after that, I slept anywhere I fell, pretty much. It really didn’t matter. It’s not like one place was more comfortable than the other.”
“But why would you sleep on a sidewalk if you could stay at a homeless shelter?” Carter asked and he felt his throat tighten with the question. This was more painful to talk about for him than it was for her.
“Because sometimes, those shelters were even scarier than sleeping on the street. I’ve had things stolen from me after I fell asleep, and then I was stuffed between people I didn’t know. The shelter was so crowded, I had to sleep on the floor sometimes.”
“And these scars on your face.” Carter traced them with his index finger. “Where did they come from?”
Shayla trembled. How could he find her attractive with scars on her face and body? His bringing attention to him only made her feel worse about her appearance. She wished she would’ve put on some makeup before she came downstairs.
“Shayla?”
She locked eyes with him, remembering where the scars had come from. She was running through the woods trying to get away from some strange, deranged man when she’d tripped over a small pile of old trash that was illegally dumped there, twisting her ankle.
“Talk to me, baby,” Carter said touching her face.
“Um…I got a lot of these scratches while running away from someone…” Shayla said, her voice cracking. Eyes watering. Hands trembling. “I thought he was going to hurt me, so I took off running through the woods. It was dark and I really couldn’t see where I was going. I was running into so many tree limbs and bushes. I fell, twisted my ankle and hit my head on something and blacked out.” Shayla wiped her eyes and Carter held her hand to comfort her. “When I woke up, he was gone.”
Carter felt anger build up in his heart. His lips quivered and he felt so much rage, he was starting to see red as he thought about what had happened to his wife. If he could only find this guy who chased her…he’d beat him into an unrecognizable pulp. He took a sip of coffee while seriously thinking about this then asked her, “How did you end up on the street where I found you? On Trade Street?”
“Um…I was cold. I hadn’t had anything to eat in days. So I thought that maybe if I went to an area that was pretty crowded, I could get more help. So I went to Uptown, but when I got there, I realized I had no desire to ask anyone else for money,” she said tearfully. “I didn’t want any help…I just…I just wanted to die.”
“You wanted to die?” Carter forced out, lips trembling again.
Shayla nodded and took another deep breath. “I didn’t want to deal with the pain and misery anymore. So I got as close to the curb as I could. I had every intention on stepping in front of a bus.”
“What?” Carter asked frowning. Distraught.
“I was depressed, hungry and at that point, my life had no meaning.” Shayla wiped her eyes. “I saw the city bus coming down the street towards me, so I stood up with the intent of lunging myself in front of it but when I was ready to jump, I collasped. Two days later, you were there.”
Carter’s throat tightened. “You were going to commit suicide?”
“I didn’t see any other way out, and I didn’t care at that point. I’d given up.”
Carter felt something die in him. “And you…you laid there for two days before I came along?”
“Yeah.”
“No one stopped to help you?”
“No.”
Carter closed his eyes tight, then looked up at the ceiling, trying to make sense of all of this.
“If I had died, no one would’ve missed me. As it was, I didn’t have anything…no clothes but the raggedy clothes on my back, no food, everything I owned was stolen from me, my fiancé committed suicide. I had nowhere to live…had to beg for money to survive. After all that, I just wanted to end it all.”
Carter felt a blazing anger in his chest, not at her but at himself. All the things she went through on the street were his fault. If he had taken care of her like his brother had asked him to, he could’ve saved her from all the trauma she experienced – another reason for Shayla to hate him when she found out the truth.
Chapter 24
Since he was in the office, Carter went on and checked a few emails, sifting through stacks of paperwork. Busy work. Work that kept him from thinking about the things Shayla told him. Instead he mulled over his own selfish choices. He could’ve tried harder to help his little brother. There was no reason why two grown, rational men couldn’t resolve their differences. He could’ve comforted Jacob somehow, mentored him, helped to mold him into a man, to further his career and give him brotherly advice. Instead, he let things go as they were.
That same lackadaisical attitude continued after Jacob died. He looked for Shayla for a few days then let th
ings go as they were, simply turning his back. If only he had listened…
“Carter,” Julie said interrupting his thoughts, peeping around his door. “Should I order some lunch, or are you leaving early today?”
“Um…” Carter rubbed his hand across his head and glanced at the clock. “It’s twelve o’clock already?”
“Yeah. Time sure is flying today, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” He checked his watch to verify the time. He rubbed his head again and sighed. “Julie, come in for a minute.”
Julie stepped in the office, shut the door behind her. “Is everything okay?” she asked him, standing in front of his desk.
“You remember when I went to Hawaii?”
“Yeah. Everybody was shocked that you actually took a vacation.” Julie grinned.
“Well, I got married. I’m sure that’s even more shocking.”
Julie’s eyes grew big. “You got married?”
“Yeah.” Carter handed her a framed wedding photo, a picture he kept in the top drawer of his desk since he didn’t want the office to know that he’d gotten married. Now, he didn’t care. He wanted everyone to know.
“You got married!” Julie screeched, staring at the wedding photo. “She’s beautiful, Carter.”
“Thanks.” Carter set the picture back on his desk. “Her name is Shayla…best thing that has ever happened to me.”
Julie placed a hand on her hip. “Now is this the same Shayla who sent you those beautiful yellow roses?”
“Yes,” Carter said, smiling. “She’s the one.”
“Well congratulations!” She handed the picture back to him.
“Thank you.”
“Why didn’t you tell anyone? I could’ve set up a party and everything.”
“Nah…I didn’t want all the fanfare. I wanted it to be something I only shared with her.”
“Aw,” Julie said, placing both hands over her heart. “That’s so sweet. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” Julie replied. “Should I order lunch?”