“You don’t understand what I’m saying.” I blew out a long breath. Even though he’d been there the night the demon had marked me, Nic had been unconscious for the fateful moment that had changed everything. He knew the mark existed but he didn’t understand the full implications of it all.
“Then explain it to me,” he said “because honestly, right now you’ve completely lost me. Is it a friend of yours or something?”
“No.” The thought of having Alastor as a friend was enough to make the curdle my stomach. “The mark,” I said, picking at the stitches along the edge of my sleeve. How was I supposed to tell him, that I’d summoned Alastor from Hell? It was one thing to know about the mark, it was another altogether to meet face to face the creature at the other end of the connection.
Nic caught my chin, lifting my face so I was forced to meet his gaze head on. “There’s nothing you can’t tell me, Amber. No matter what it is, I’m here, I’ll always be right here.”
There was such feeling in his declaration and I desperately wanted to believe him. After all, I’d waited so long to hear him utter those words but knowing what I knew about our connection it left me with a bittersweet feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“You remember the graveyard, when Lily had taken the little girl Christina, she planned to use her as a conduit?”
Nic nodded. “Yeah, Lily had Graham’s daughter in thrall to her.”
“And you remember the demon I summoned to stop Lily?”
Nic shot an uneasy glance over his shoulder in the direction of my apartment once more. “You’re not going to tell me that’s the demon?”
“In the flesh,” I said.
“But he…” Nic trailed off, a troubled look on his face. “Shit, Amber, he’s got some serious mojo if he can conjure a human body for himself.”
“I know,” I said, “I wasn’t sure I believed it myself when he first told me…”
“Demons lie,” Nic said, “he could be lying to right now, trying to get you to let your guard down so he can kill you.”
“He doesn’t need me to let my guard down to kill me, Nic, he could have done it a million times over in there.”
Nic’s expression darkened. “Did he hurt you?”
I thought about the feel of Alastor’s hand around my throat, the feel of his fingers against my skin and the way he threaded them through my hair.
“No,” I shook my head to add emphasis my answer. “He hasn’t hurt me.”
“Yet,” Nic said blackly. “How can you be sure that he’s the demon who marked you?”
“Because…” I trailed off, how was I supposed to explain the feeling? It was a little too close to the kinds of intimate acts I’d performed with Nic. And with our own relationship in a sort of limbo after the events of the past few months, I couldn’t be certain of Nic’s reaction to that kind of confession.
The door to my apartment burst open and Alastor stood framed in the opening. “She knows because of the way I make her feel.” He smirked. “If you hadn’t interrupted when you did, I could have shown her what true pleasure at the hands of a true Master feels like.”
I grabbed Nic’s arm as he took a step toward the demon. “If you lay one hand on her…”
“I laid more than one hand on her, boy,” Alastor said, his smirk widening. The prick was enjoying this.
“Enough,” I said, stepping between the two once more. “I’ve had enough of your posturing bullshit,” I said turning on Alastor. “You know and I both know you’re not really interested in me so why are you doing this?”
He stared at me, confusion marring his handsome features. “You really don’t know?”
“No,” I said honestly. “I haven’t got a clue. I don’t know why you would bother to try and screw my life up more than you already have.”
“She’s not the brightest bulb in the box,” Alastor said to Nic in a sudden show of solidarity. He turned his attention back to me once more. “I’m a demon, doll face. Screwing with people’s lives is what I do. Chaos is my jam and I take great pleasure in seeing you squirm. I mean, there are other kinds of squirming I’d rather see but this will do just fine too.”
Nic took a lunging step forward and Alastor side-stepped him easily with a chuckle. “Temper, temper, boy, it won’t do you any favours in a fight against me. I’ve eaten tougher witch-hunters than you.”
“Leave.” There was only a slight tremble in my voice as I spoke and for that I was grateful.
“You need me,” Alastor said, the smirk never leaving his face. “It’d be better for everyone if you asked this impotent fool to leave. At least I can protect you.”
“I don’t care what you think you can do,” I said, “I would trust Nic with my life but you…” I jabbed my finger into the centre of Alastor’s chest as I spoke. “I could never trust you. I would never choose you above him. He’s worth a thousand of you. So if anyone is going to leave, it’s going to be you.” I punctuated each word with a jab of my finger until the tip ached.
“Fine,” he said with a long-suffering sigh. “I can play nice, but only because you’ve insisted.”
“No.” I practically growled the word. “I want you gone. I’m done with your games. You’ve warned me, job done, you can now crawl back into whatever hole you scuttled out of and leave me the hell alone.”
“You’re not serious, Amber,” he said, and for the first time since he’d broken into my apartment I could see just how uneasy he was. Scared even. “We’re stronger together. You know this…”
“You might need me, Alastor,” I said, “But I don’t need you.”
“You’re making a mistake.”
“Then it’s mine to make.”
“Not if your stupidity costs me my freedom,” he said, a hint of his demonic nature slowly seeping into his voice.
“Trust me, Alastor, if I get sent to Hell, bringing you with me won’t be a regret of mine. In fact,” I said, getting up in his face. “I’ll consider it a bonus. One less scumbag out there torturing innocents.”
Darkness flooded his eyes, swamping the brilliant azure until they were entirely opaque.
“And if that happens, you’ll be on my turf. Down there, you’re mine, to do with as I please and I guarantee you won’t like the methods we’ve got for breaking stubborn little witches who don’t know what’s good for them.”
“Idle threats,” I said but his words struck a chord of fear deep in my soul. He meant every word and I could only imagine the kinds of torment that would await me if I found myself at his mercy in Hell.
“Just go,” I said suddenly exhausted. I was tired of always being afraid. Of constantly living in fear of what new horror awaited me around every turn. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore.
Alastor’s glare burned through me but after what felt like an age, he nodded. “I’ll go but remember what I said, Amber, if you screw up and I’m not there to save you…”
“Yeah, yeah, you’ll torture me in Hell…”
“And I’ll enjoy every second of it,” he said, turning on his heel and sauntering away down the hall. “Perhaps going back to Hell won’t be such a bad thing after all.”
Between one heart beat and the next he was gone. I blinked suddenly unsure if I could trust my vision or not but he was definitely gone. It was a neat trick, one I wouldn’t have minded knowing.
“I think we need to talk,” Nic said, his tone serious. “I wanted the guy gone but now I’m not so sure it was a good idea…”
“Well, I still think it was a good idea,” I said, stifling a yawn. “Any news on Graham’s—” I cut off abruptly. Would I ever be able to say the word murder aloud in the same sentence as Graham’s name? The two things seemed far too disparate to be connected and yet… Graham was dead, murdered by an as yet unknown assailant.
“They think a demon murdered him,” Nic said gently, “but there was definitely something else there too. They couldn’t get a read on it though. It was weird, like bad reception on a radio or
something.”
“Alastor was attacked by a demon too,” I mused, “it makes sense that whoever was controlling the demon was there too.”
Nic nodded, his expression concerned. “What did he mean, Amber?”
“What?” Exhaustion was beginning to get the better of me and all I wanted in that moment was to climb into bed and sleep for a month. Not that I would ever get the lucky. Graham’s killer was still on the loose and I had a feeling I would be seeing him before too long.
“About you going to Hell,” Nic said. “If he hurts you, I’ll rip his heart out through his mouth.”
“Alastor won’t hurt me,” I said but I only half meant it. I could still remember the feel of his hand on my skin as he’d spoken of the pleasure and pain he could bring me. “He came to warn me,” I said.
“About what?”
“Someone is hunting us. They want my power and their willing to take it by any means necessary.”
“And why would he warn you? I’d have thought a demon like him would be only too happy to see an end to someone with your power.”
“The mark links us, if one of us dies, it takes the other one too. So if he is sent to Hell, I get dragged down there after him.”
Nic’s face turned ashy. “You never told me that was possible before,” he said, “why wouldn’t you warn me of something like that? Think of all the Saga Venatione who have tried to send Alastor back to Hell, all the times you could have been killed… Amber, this is serious.”
“I know that,” I said, “but I’m pretty sure Alastor can take care of himself. He’s managed fine so far.”
“You mean, he’s gotten lucky so far. What happens when he stops being lucky?”
I swallowed hard. “I don’t know, Nic, I don’t have all the answers…”
“I’m sorry, I’m just—” He cut off and shoved his hand back through his hair. “I’ve just found you again. The thought of losing you like this is…”
“I know,” I spoke gently as I reached out to place my hand on his arm. He caught my hand, his finger intertwined with mine as he tugged me toward him.
“I can’t lose you to something like this. When Fionn took you, Amber, I thought…” he trailed off, his voice gruff with unspoken emotion.
“I just wanted to get back to you,” I said, remembering the nightmare of being held captive by the fae that had tried to enslave my mind. “I was so scared…”
“I know, and I was the fool who wasn’t there for you when you did escape.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I’m just hoping you’ll be able to trust me again.”
“I want to,” I said softly, feeling suddenly vulnerable. I wanted to trust him more than anything else. I wanted nothing more than to go back to how we’d once been but if the past year had taught me anything it was that you couldn’t ever go back, no matter how much you wanted to. There was only one way and that was forward. We’d already lost so much time and we’d both made mistakes, there was no denying that but I couldn’t shake the fear I felt. I’d trusted Nic before and he’d nearly killed me.
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but I’m willing to work for it.”
There was no denying the honesty in his words. He meant everything he said and I knew he would do whatever it took to earn back the trust he had lost. The only problem we faced was the fact that I had some of his soul coursing in my veins. It wouldn’t protect me forever and I couldn’t just forget what he was.
Without thinking, I brought my hand up and traced the vine like tattoos that trailed down his neck and below the collar of his T-shirt.
“I won’t let them come between us again,” he whispered before his lips found mine.
6
His kiss was all consuming, setting my body alight with the kind of passion I’d thought my broken heart had extinguished. I melted against him as his hands slid around my waist. He lifted me from the ground, carrying me into the apartment without once breaking the contact of his lips on mine.
Carrying me into the room, we spilled onto the bed. I let my hands slide beneath his T-shirt, pushing it up his chest and forcing him to shrug out of it. My heart stalled in my chest as I stared at his chest and the mess of tattoos that covered almost every inch of his body.
“Oh, my Goddess…” The words slipped out before I could stop them causing Nic to pause.
“They’re just tattoos, Amber,” he said. It was a lie and we both knew it.
“But they’re not just tattoos, Nic. We both know that, it comes from them, it’s part of the power you have and to deny that is to lie straight to my face.”
He glanced away, staring down at the rumpled sheets. He rolled off me then onto the other side of the bed as he grabbed his shirt from where he’d discarded it mere seconds before.
“What do they all mean?” I asked, reaching out to tentatively touch one trailing vine that ended in a spiralling sun shaped disk.
“They each represent the different aspects of the power I wield,” he said, stiffening beneath the touch of my fingers. He tried to shrug away from me then but I sat up, catching his arm before he could move out of my reach. “And the vines, what do they mean?”
“They represent the connection we all share with one another. The Saga Venatione we’re all interlinked with one another, it’s how we stay safe.”
I pressed my fingers against a series of symbols I didn’t recognise and Nic flinched.
“Don’t,” he said, pulling away from me.
“What is it?”
He glanced over his shoulder at me and the hopelessness in his eyes cut me to my core.
“Nic,” I said, brushing his arm, “what is it?”
“Those represent each being the Saga destroy,” he said, his voice hoarse.
I stared at the tiny marks, each one intricate in its ornamentation. “I don’t understand,” I said, “there has to be at least a hundred here… How can there be so many—”
I cut off, realisation slamming into me. He didn’t mean the types of species the Saga destroyed. Each mark was a notch in Nic’s belt. A score sheet for the numbers of beings he had destroyed as a Saga Venatione.
“I should be on here,” I said absently, reaching out toward the marks once more.
Nic spun around, catching my hand before I could touch his skin once more.
“You won’t ever be there,” he said, “not so long as I have the strength to draw breath, Amber, I swear it.”
“That’s not a promise you can make,” I said sadly.
He blew out a harsh breath. “Of course I can, I choose my own course in everything.”
“You didn’t tell me what would happen if the Saga Venatione ever found out you shared your essence with me?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me,” I said, tugging free of his grip. “You tell me I should trust you but you’re keeping secrets. I need to know just what you’re risking with all of this…”
“Amber, please, I just want—”
“Tell me.”
He moved to the edge of the bed and sat there, elbows resting on knees as he buried his face in his hands.
“They’ll kill me,” he said as easily as if he were telling me the weather forecast. “Or at least I may as well be dead.”
“You’re not making sense.”
“There are some soldiers,” he hesitated. “Maybe monk is a better name for these guys. Whatever they are, they’re not quite human. They were once witch-hunters but now they’re…” He shook his head. “I don’t even know what you’d call them. It’s like all the humanity has been sucked out of them. Everything they were, every ounce of personality that made them individuals is gone, burned away.”
“And you’re telling me this is what will happen to you if they find out about us?”
He shrugged. “Like I said before, they won’t find out about us, Amber, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
“We both know shit goes wrong, people find things out, Nic. Especially when those peopl
e are super creep witch-hunters working for the Vatican.”
He smiled at me then. “You think I’m super creepy?”
I punched his shoulder, which only resulted in his smile widening. “Don’t be an asshole, this is serious.”
His smile became a grin. “Sorry, it must be the creepiness in me leaking out.”
Tears pricked at my eyes and I tried to blink them away but it was already too late and they started to roll down my cheeks.
“What’s wrong, what is it?”
“I just,” my voice broke and I stifled a sob. “It’s just everything,” I said finally. “I just got you back and Graham is dead and I don’t want to lose you. Not now… Not after everything.”
“Shit, Amber, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.” He crawled up onto the bed next to me. “I’m a complete asshole.”
“Yeah you are,” I said through my tears and the sheepish smile he gave me was enough to draw a tentative smile to my own lips.
“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
“But…”
“No.” His voice was firm. “I mean it. You’re stuck with me now, for as long as you want me here.”
Nic sucked in a deep breath. “I love you, Amber Morgan. Every part of me,” he said, “loves every part of you.”
“Even if you sometimes want to kill me?”
“Doesn’t every relationship have its ups and downs?” He cocked an eyebrow at me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, drawing me down onto the bed next to him.
I let him hold me, enjoying the strength of his body as he folded himself around me.
Despite the joy of feeling his warmth seeping in through my back, I couldn’t shake the cold tendrils of fear that wrapped themselves around my soul. I’d waited so long for this and now that I had it, I knew it would all the more painful to lose.
I couldn’t let anything happen to him. I wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Not so long as I had breath in my lungs.
Embrace of Darkness Page 5