by Zuri Day
“All right.”
He turned and walked halfway up the auditorium. Beyond the stage lights and into the shadows. Nicki followed, and when he sat down she took the chair beside him, turned to face him as directly as possible and began to share her heart.
“I never imagined myself living here. You know that better than anybody. As much as I love you—and that’s more than I’ve ever loved anyone—Broadway always stood between me and that possibility. Then life happened, and just like that I’m not only living here but working and dancing. But it still feels like a situation that’s contrary to reason, because I’m living in your home and hometown without you. I’ve signed on as artistic director for a year. But honestly? If this is how it’s going to be between us, I’ll break the contract, because I simply can’t deal.
“I understand why you got so upset. I get it now. I’ve apologized. I meant it. That’s all I can do. I can’t do it over. I can’t take anything that happened back. If we could rewind time, I would definitely do things differently. It would have made my life easier. I see that now. Once you and your family found out about Vince, the issue was resolved. It was like, one and done. But at the time I made the decisions I did, it was for the right reasons. I thought he was someone I could handle—I had no idea he would take it as far as he did. Especially since what he said was a lie and I didn’t owe him anything. But there’s another reason. Something else I didn’t tell you.”
He’d been looking straight ahead, but at this revelation, Julian looked her in the eye.
“A week or so after he started calling, I got home and realized there was nothing to drink. So I hopped up and headed to the store. No problem, right? It wasn’t that late, around eleven o’clock. On my way back, these two guys who’d parked in front of my house got out of their car. Didn’t think much about it, but they had my attention. I am a New Yorker, after all.”
Nicki’s attempt to lighten the situation didn’t work.
“We got to a place on the sidewalk at the same time. When I tried to go around them, they blocked my path. They knew who I was, said Vince had sent them to collect his money. Thank goodness for my nosy neighbor, Miss Frances. She hollered a greeting, and they let me by. That’s when the situation became serious in my mind, and I felt threatened. A part of me wanted to tell you. Paige kept insisting that you needed to know. But I knew if that happened, you would have been on the very next flight and things would have definitely escalated. I couldn’t have lived with being responsible if anything happened to you. It was a few days later that the accident happened and I came here. Situation over. Problem solved. End of story. Until it wasn’t. The problem that I thought was over followed me here.”
She placed her hand on top of his. “I’m sorry, baby. And I miss you. Can we work this out and get back together? I’m going crazy being alone in the town house. The nights are too quiet, and beyond the dancing I’m totally bored.”
“Sounds like you don’t want a man. You just want company.”
“Pretty much.”
For the first time since he’d walked in, Julian smiled.
“I appreciate you trusting me enough to share everything. It’s probably better that I didn’t know about it before. That you didn’t share that until after he’d left town. But don’t ever do it again, Nicki. You hear me?” She nodded. “Don’t ever try to deal with something like that on your own. Protecting you is my responsibility. It’s what a man does.”
“I get that now.”
“Good.” He stood, stretched. “I’m headed out to get something to eat. Want to join me?”
She stood, too. “I would, except I have a conference call with my agent in thirty minutes. Just enough time to shower and have a quick bite. Maybe we can hang out tomorrow night?”
“Maybe.”
Men and their pride, Nicki thought as they parted. He wanted to come back on his schedule, his timetable. Jennifer had encouraged her to exercise patience. She’d also said that a love worth having was worth fighting for.
Reaching for her phone, she sent Julian a quick text.
Want to come over later and massage my sore muscles?
She waited. No answer. Started up her car and headed home. A few minutes later, her phone pinged. Once stopped at a red light, she checked it.
A text back from Julian.
Yes. I have a muscle that needs rubbing, too.
Nicki laughed out loud. Turned on the stereo, turned the music up loud. Her baby was coming over. They were going to rub muscles and spend the night doing her favorite dance with the best partner ever.
Chapter 29
December and January had flown by in the blink of an eye. Nicki could hardly believe it was Valentine’s Day weekend and the charity gala had finally arrived.
She peeked from behind the curtain to check out the crowd. San Francisco’s War Memorial and Performing Arts Center was filled to capacity. When Jennifer told her she’d have no problem selling out three thousand seats, Nicki had her doubts—not only about the relatively short window to promote and sell tickets, but that it was five hundred dollars for the least expensive seat. But she’d done it. Not only would the Drake Community Center benefit, but so would Nicki, as part of the funds would be used for the arts program Nicki would run.
Less than six months ago, Nicki had had life all planned out, and it had looked nothing like the one she lived right now. Then, she’d been focused on back-to-back Broadway shows, saving money to build her portfolio, continuing a long-distance relationship with Julian and eventually talking him into moving his practice back east so that he could counsel, she could dance and they both could live happily ever after. Now, here she was about to lead a troupe of seasoned professionals and a few exceptionally talented Drake Community Center dancers in the lulu, Ngo Xhe’s original dance.
Looking beyond the glittering gowns and starched tuxes that filled the orchestra level, Nicki spotted the Drake clan in their private box. Julian’s parents sat in the middle of the first row, flanked by Ike Jr. and Quinn on their right and Niko and Monique to their left. Behind them sat Terrell and Aliyah, Teresa and London. Nicki guessed Ace and Atka were together, getting drinks or doing something equally mundane, like plotting a world takeover. Warren was home with the new baby. She didn’t see Julian, who’d said that he’d come. They’d done well the past couple months. Just before the new year, he’d come back home. Had there been a flashback to the hurt she’d caused him? Had the news that Vince Edwards now coached at a high school near San Francisco made him doubt some or all of what she’d sworn was true? Nicki closed her mind against the onslaught of thoughts. There was time only for positive energy. She had a show to do.
Paige joined Nicki at the curtain, peeked over her shoulder. “Wow, it’s crowded.”
“Yep, a sold-out house.”
“Not quite Broadway.”
“It’s even better.” Nicki turned to Paige. “Never thought you’d hear me say that, huh?”
“Not in a million years. Not surprised, though. Love tends to wipe out the logical and accurate-thinking side of one’s brain.”
“And on that note...” Nicki gave a playful nudge as she walked past her. “Let’s get dancing.” She reached for Paige’s hand, clasped it into her own. “And let’s hope that in the very near future you lose your mind, too.”
“I love you more than most, Nicki Long. But move to the West Coast? My honey would never.”
“But you are going to audition for Ngo Xhe’s next show, right? It’s in San Francisco, but only twelve weeks.”
“Definitely going to try out for that one. Mike can handle cross-country visits for that length of time.”
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Me, too. And I’m happy for you. Love’s got you glowing. Congratulations.”
Backstage, the dancers gathered
in a circle, waiting for Nicki. She and Paige joined them, still holding hands, and clasped the hands of the dancers next to them. Nicki smiled at the professionals and took in the nervous, excited looks of the teens from the center.
“I was you once,” she began, looking at her first crop of community center dancers. “Standing backstage at my very first professional show. Nervous, excited, not sure if I’d remember the steps. Petrified I’d mess up the entire routine.” She paused and looked each girl in the eye. “You will remember. And if you don’t, your body will. And if your body doesn’t, it’s still okay. Because your heart is in the right place. And so are you. Out there, on stage, even your mistakes will look like magic. Just keep smiling and flowing to the rhythm of the beat. Remember how absolutely beautiful, talented and amazing you are. Now, repeat after me.
“I am exceptional. I am amazing. I can do anything I want to do and be anything I want to be. Tonight, I am a dancer. Wait, I didn’t hear you. Tonight, I am what?”
“A dancer!” the girls shouted, and the pros, too.
“That’s right. We are dancers. Let’s go out there and make the lulu come alive!”
Moments later the music began, pulsating percussion against a pitch-black stage. With a hidden light to guide them, the ten girls trained at the Drake Community Center danced across the stage—syncopated claps and stomps with their feet. Driving the movement. Creating the beat. The professional dancers entered next. Twirling and leaping, gliding and marching. Fluorescent red stripes on their black leotards came alive, as did more percussion instruments, then horns, then strings.
Three minutes into the first song, Nicki entered, a bundle of energy, a body of grace, combining years of training in modern dance with jazz, a little tap and a touch of ballet, mimicking the other dancers as they marched and then flawlessly inviting the audience to clap along and tap their feet in time to the contagious rhythm. During the first segment, the dancers introduced the story. About a group of girls, friends, outcasts all, who found their voices in their feet. On the final notes of the song preceding the first half’s finale, dancers twirled and danced themselves offstage, leaving the stage bare save Nicki and the spotlight.
She performed her solo dance. In her mind it was for Julian. Becoming one with the music, she poured her love for him from her heart to her limbs. Expressed the joy he brought her in every leap, her excitement in every spin. The music slowed and with it her movements. A series of dance moves took her to the back of the stage. In a final flurry of arms and legs in fluid motion, she returned to the center of the stage. As the last notes of the song played out, she was slowly lifted up from the floor. Higher and higher, until she disappeared into the rafters.
The unexpected move stunned the crowd, evidenced by their collective gasp. Seconds of silence passed, and then thunderous applause began. Nicki smiled as she hurried out of the harness that had lifted her safely to the ceiling’s rafters and a narrow walkway to a ladder behind the back curtain. Her plan to end the first half on a high, showstopping note had worked better than she imagined. It would be topped only by her solo before the group finale, again the way she’d planned it. A cocoon for her students’ first performance, and their inevitable faux pas. However they performed and whatever happened in between these well-polished acts would be forgotten. Nicki felt certain that the show would be labeled a success, both as a sold-out fund-raiser and artistically, as a show she’d designed. A dancer and choreographer? Who knew!
With two forty-minute sets and a fifteen-minute intermission, the evening flew by. Sweaty and exhausted but pumped with adrenaline, Nicki smiled and preened and dazzled the audience, even as she mentally prepared for her heart-stopping finale. This would be the truest test yet of how well her ankle had healed.
“This is it, Nicki,” she mouthed to herself while dancing over to the far side of the stage. “You can do it.” Then, with a running start, she cartwheeled into a handless backflip over ten pairs of shoes. She heard another collective audience gasp as she landed on the other side, executed perfect piqué turns to the center of the stage and ended with a dramatic flourish of fingers as she dropped into a Chinese split.
The audience went wild. She stood, waved and exited the stage as each group of dancers took their bows. After Paige and the principal dancers were acknowledged, Nicki returned to the stage, the rousing standing ovation now minutes long. She clasped the hands of the dancers next to her as they took one final collective bow. As they did so, Nicki noticed Jennifer being ushered up the stairs to the stage. Turning, she applauded the woman who’d organized the night’s performance.
Jennifer acknowledged the crowd, then pulled Nicki into a warm embrace. “Fabulous! Absolutely amazing,” she whispered. “I’m so proud of you.”
Then, taking the mike from an assistant who waited, she addressed the crowd, eyes twinkling. “I told you tonight’s show would be worth every dollar. Was I right?”
The audience cheered their affirmative response.
“I want to thank everyone involved in helping to make tonight’s event a huge success through supporting, promoting and making the arts available to all children and teens everywhere. To the Ladies of Paradise—the very active women’s society of Paradise Cove—the businesses and corporations of Paradise Cove, San Francisco and surrounding communities, for your largesse in donations of both money and resources, to the professional dancers that hail from across the country, from New York’s stages to California’s showstoppers, and especially to the pop sensation and Broadway star who generously donated her time to perform for us... Paige McCall!” Jennifer waited as the crowd enthusiastically showed their appreciation. “Finally, to Nicki Long, a Broadway performer and our very own star, who now shares her time and talent with hopeful young girls who dream of a life on stage, such as the ones who’ve danced their way into our hearts tonight!”
A movement offstage caught Nicki’s eyes. They widened a bit as she saw Julian coming up the stairs carrying a gigantic bouquet of large, perfectly formed red, yellow, pink and purple roses. Her heart skipped a beat. He’d been there. He’d seen the dance!
“For the show’s choreographer and star,” Jennifer gushed as Julian handed her the flowers.
The show’s star, of course. Nicki’s smile didn’t falter as she accepted the bouquet.
“Because of tonight’s success, we are well on our way to breaking ground for the Performing Arts of Paradise Center in Paradise Cove, opening by the summer of next year.” Jennifer turned to Nicki. “Please, a few words to our patrons. She’s not big on public speaking,” Jennifer explained as she handed over the microphone.
“No, I’m not,” Nicki agreed, clearing her throat to speak more loudly. “However, doing so is much easier tonight after receiving such amazing and genuine appreciation for this show. I’ve danced on Broadway. But nothing tops the way you’ve all made me feel tonight.” She included Jennifer and Julian in her gaze around the auditorium. “Thank you.”
And then it hit her. Of course. Why not? The idea was crazy. Unorthodox. Scary. But what did she have to lose? All these thoughts whirled in her head in a matter of seconds.
Her eyes became misty as she eyed first him and then the crowd. Crazy how a broken ankle had prematurely ended a dream and at the same time catapulted her into a fantasy beyond any she could have imagined. For that she thanked everyone, even Vince. She thanked them, and she meant it. Julian, too. Even if he never asked her to be his wife again, she’d be his woman forever. But he hadn’t asked her. And he probably wouldn’t. So what if...
“Ladies and gentlemen, there’s one more thing. I’m sorry, I won’t be long, but there is one thing that tops even tonight’s performance and your enthusiastic support.” She turned to face Julian. “It is the love I feel for this man, Dr. Julian Drake.”
Murmurs rippled through the crowd, followed by applause. She turned back to the crowd.
&nbs
p; “A few years ago, in a wonderful moment in Times Square, he asked me to marry him. And I did something really stupid. I said no.”
Gasps. Murmurs.
“I wasn’t ready. I’m a dancer. A showgirl. My life is the stage. That’s what I thought. But tonight, this is what I know.”
She turned back to Julian as a single tear escaped and slid down her cheek. “My life on the stage isn’t the same without you in it. I wish I’d said yes that night. Having hurt you the way I did, you’d be crazy to ask me again. So I’ll ask you.”
The audience became completely still. One could hear a feather fall.
“This wasn’t preplanned, so I don’t have a ring. What I do have is my love. My heart. And this question. Julian—” Nicki cried openly now. “Will you marry me?”
The entire audience held its breath.
She held up the mike. Julian slowly pulled it from her grasp, their eyes locked seemingly for centuries, though only mere seconds passed. He shifted, lifted the mike up to his mouth.
“No, Nicki. I can’t do that.”
Chapter 30
Julian heard the crowd noise gain in intensity, watched tiny beads of sweat mix with the tears running freely down Nicki’s face and over the tendrils that clung to her skin, saw her lips quiver as she struggled for control. He’d never seen her look more radiant or beautiful. Her smile wide and eyes bright, even tinged with the slightest hint of regret he’d glimpsed when handing her the flowers. He felt that she loved him deeply, even after she’d said no to marrying him that time he proposed. Knew that in her mind Paradise Cove was temporary. A mere speed bump on her road back to a career on Broadway. The place she’d dreamed of dancing since seeing her first live show there, The Lion King, at ten years old.
He knew all of this, and he knew something else. For a Drake the word no was a mere speed bump, too, when it came to something they wanted. Yes, he’d just told Nicki no. But he wasn’t finished talking. He held up his hand. The audience fell silent, as though he was their conductor.