by Martha Carr
Correk swallowed hard and thought twice about telling Eireka that the troll had been dangerously close to growing into the size of a Yeti. It was bad enough he was wailing at the top of his lungs. Only Correk's constant spell surrounding the cottage kept any of the regulars who might be sitting on the patio from busting down the door. All he wanted to do now was call Leira to make sure she was still in one piece, or even alive. It was all he could do to stop himself from sending out a ball of light to search for her.
It wasn't until the troll started to calm down that Correk knew whatever had happened, it was passing. Still, he was worried. He looked over at the troll, his mouth wide open in a laugh, his tongue still orange.
"Should have never let you see where I was keeping my stash. Only redeeming thing about any of this is they were knock off Cheetos."
"Thbfttttt." The troll pressed his hands on either side of his cheeks and blew a raspberry at him, laughing.
"Tiny rodent."
The troll stood up, letting the washcloth fall off of him. "Yumfuck! Yumfuck! Yumfuck!" He marched around in circles, stomping his tiny feet, trilling his name, ending his outburst by bending over and farting in Correk's direction. A small orange cloud rose toward the ceiling.
"You think that'll leave a stain?" asked Eireka, looking up.
"I'm not going to look. Even a Light Elf has his limits, and I'm going to live far too long to have to that gem stored in my memory," said Correk. The phone suddenly rang in his hands, startling him as he tossed it into the air, fumbled it. "For the love of two moons!" He barely caught it, turning it over and over in his hands, trying to keep his Elven composure. It wasn't working.
By the grace of Tess, still be in one piece. Please Leira. It was the only thought running through his head. He took a deep breath and answered the phone.
"Hello?" He tried to take a casual stance, looking around the room while he waited for a response, making the situation even more awkward. "At last, where have you been?" Everything came out in a rush of words and at a much higher pitch than he intended. He plastered a smile on his face and looked at Eireka who was looking at the troll, looking at the ceiling.
"The troll seemed agitated earlier but I managed to daze him with an overdose of cheese puffs. Yes, my cheese puffs." He glanced at Eireka and did his best to sound casual. "Anything interesting happen so far on the job? Good first day? I realize they weren't the real thing but they were close. What do you mean Cheetos come in different varieties? There's a crunchy kind?" His relief at hearing her laugh flooded through him. She was alright, for now.
Eireka looked at Correk who was turning his back to her trying to whisper loudly into the phone. "I can't tell if something's gone wrong or you've been on this planet a minute too long. What has Leira done to you?"
Correk held up a finger. "Did you leave your Costco card? Wait a minute." He squeezed his eyes shut. A little focus. After all, you were sent here to protect her. "How was your day?" He said the words slowly and deliberately, letting himself sing them. "Well, congratulations are in order. You'll have to tell me all the details. I want to hear everything. I won't spoil my dinner. I don't think laughter is appropriate. Alright, I'm hanging up. I'm hanging up. If all you're going to do is...alright...we'll see you at dinner. Stop laughing!"
Correk felt the rest of the tension flow out of him. He would get the story out of her later all the same. Something dark happened. First that damnable necklace, now this. Something is stirring up the bottom dregs of magic. It's got something to do with the Dark Market.
"Correk. Correk. Where'd you go?" Eireka was waving at him, the troll standing on her shoulder, grinning at him. He blew another raspberry at Correk. Eireka picked Yumfuck up and gently placed him back down on the washcloth.
"Sorry, I was lost in thought. Thinking about Oriceran." He tried to hide the twinge of guilt that came over him. It was most of the truth. Somehow this is all connected. Oriceran and Earth, he thought. "We should get out of here for a while. Show you the city. See what's changed. You can probably show me a thing or two. I'm still a relative newcomer."
"Frankly, so am I in a lot of ways. Who knew the world would decide to change so much in just fifteen years. I mean, I saw commercials. That was practically the only thing to do in there." She stopped suddenly, pressing her lips together. Not going to think about that place. That's over.
"Then it's time to go see what all of that advertising left out," Correk said gently.
"Yumfuck!" The troll gleefully jumped off the arm of the couch, digging its tiny claws into Correk's sleeve, grinning up at him.
"Yes, even you." Correk was too relieved about Leira to care. The troll was happy and that meant Leira was fine and no sign of blue fur anywhere.
"You wearing those lace-up pants?" asked Eireka.
"Your daughter has the same issue with them. They're what everyone is wearing in Oriceran. Do you mind if we make just one stop before we head to South Congress?"
"Costco? Couldn't help overhearing. If you're getting crunchy Cheetos, I'm in. There was no such thing when they dragged me away. Bet a Light Elf was behind the idea."
Correk held out his arm for Eireka, depositing Yumfuck in his pocket. "You and I are going to get along well, Cousin. Let's go see what there is to see."
"You have a bag of treats for the troll?
"What a clever idea." Correk hit his forehead with the palm of his hand.
"I still remember what it was like to be Leira's mom. Those little goldfish crackers and hand wipes at all times."
Correk turned and put his hands on Eireka's shoulders. "You never stopped being her mother for a single minute. I've only known your daughter for a little while, and granted, I've known you even less time but I see the similarities and I can tell that you played a big part in making Leira strong enough to survive everything that got shoveled her way."
"Even while I was gone." There were tears in Eireka's eyes.
"Especially while you were gone. Leira is the sort who answers the call to duty first and with some inner belief that she can figure it out. She helps people. You did a good job. Now, yes, I think I'm going to wear my favorite britches. Rumor is, I will fit right into South Congress and they are remarkably comfortable. I'd say the yoga pants are even better but Leira has told me I'm not to wear them outside of the cottage."
Eireka suppressed a giggle as a tiny orange cloud puffed out of Correk's pocket.
"Oh, smell-a-vision no less." Eireka wrinkled her nose and waved her hand through the air.
Correk rolled his eyes and went and scooped up the Costco card and credit card Leira had left on the kitchen counter for them. There was a post-it note next to them that read, 'Show some restraint dude. No more As Seen on TV aisle for you'. He gave a half smile but it didn't spread all the way to his eyes. "You are getting very hard to protect, Cousin," he whispered.
"Ready?" Eireka appeared in the doorway.
"As ready as I'm going to be."
"Snack!" Yumfuck poked his head out of the pocket, leaning toward the refrigerator.
"Smart little beast." Eireka rubbed his tiny head and was rewarded with a trill.
"Clever like a Vegas magic act. Somewhat entertaining and you can never be sure what's about to happen next or where that thing you just had disappeared to but you have a vague idea, all the same."
"You know Vegas. Interesting. It's like Earth is your reality TV."
"Vegas has attracted a lot of Oricerans. All that glitter. It's our HGTV."
"I can see Leira used the TV as a babysitter for both of you."
Correk poured kibble into a baggy as the troll blew a wet raspberry trying to knock the baggie out of his hands.
"No point in taking it if he won't eat it. Try the stale popcorn in the bowl."
"The one with his butt print still in it."
"He doesn't seem to mind. Go for it. Won't hurt him. You like him, you know you do."
"It's their tiny secret weapon. You get used to their antics till the
day seems a little hollow if something isn't rocketing off your shoulder or cackling at dawn in a shoe box right next to you." Correk pulled out a bowl of grapes from the refrigerator and put a handful into the baggie.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the troll panted, holding out his hands for a grape. It was almost as big as his head but he managed to stuff it all into his mouth, biting down as the juice ran out of his mouth. He shut his eyes and gently trilled.
"You have wipes, right?"
"In bulk from Costco."
"That place really made a big impression on you. Have you seen a Walmart yet? I'm glad Leira has you, at least for now," said Eireka, gently smiling. "Now, let's roll.
They walked along South Congress past all of the shops set up to attract the tourists. Down the long hilly ribbon of a street they could see the state capital's copper dome in the distance.
"You were admirably restrained in Costco," said Eireka, eating from a bag of Cheetos Crunchy Cheddar Jalapeno. The little tiger on the front was wearing sunglasses and a cowboy hat. "Uh, spicy!" Eireka lifted her chin and closed her eyes, feeling the slight burn in her mouth. "This was one of the things I missed. Everything was so bland in there!"
"You have a little orange dust on the end of your nose. Wipe it off before the troll decides to help you." Correk bit into a spicy Doritos rolled like a crunchy Cheetos. He swallowed hard, his eyes watering. "This may be a little more spice than I'm accustomed to on Oriceran." He pounded on his chest and took out another one, biting down. "Can't stop eating them."
The phone began to buzz in his hand. "It's just a text from Leira. She wants to know if we're at Costco." He typed no, leaving a dark orange print and put the phone in a side pocket on his suede pants. "Usually holds a small weapon but makes a handy place to put the phone."
"If I remember correctly, Light Elves take rigorous honesty very seriously." Eireka watched him, a slight smile on her face.
"That was the truth. She'll have to ask better questions. Besides, if we take every phone call we'll never get out of here. All you'll remember of this day is me standing next to you, ignoring you, talking into the air. If we add a few selfies to the mix I fear my ears will permanently round themselves out."
"Uh huh, I see your point. Sorry, I'm a little rusty with the humor. Nice glamour though. These things are addictive." She bit down on another Cheetos. "No, don't give him one. I can't imagine that's a good idea."
"He's happily eating grapes. Besides, he's had his share of orange dust for the week, and I can't take the orange farts. It's like the troll is the sausage factory and I'm tired of seeing how the farts are made."
"What should we see next?" Eireka looked up at the large wooden sign shaped like a cowboy boot outside of Allens boots. "We need cowboy boots. On me. Come on, I have that large pile of money from the hospital. One splurge."
"A Light Elf in cowboy boots. Won't be ridiculous at all."
"Maybe they'll have a tiny pair for a doll that we can buy Yumfuck."
"Okay, now I'm intrigued." Correk tried brushing the orange powder off his hands but only managed to spread the crumbs around his front.
"Don't move! I remember this one." Eireka pulled out a wipe, gently dabbing the front of his tunic.
A young man wearing a Grateful Dead t-shirt walked by, his arm around his girlfriend. The girl was wearing a black lacy bra covered by a sheer top that only came halfway down her waist.
"Nice outfit, dude. You heard of..."
"Medieval Times, yes, very familiar. Like being home again," said Correk, as the couple kept walking down the street. Eireka giggled as she wiped off her fingers.
"Is that the only reason someone might dress like this on the streets?" he asked.
"Yes, yes it is." Eireka tried to do something resembling Leira's dead fish look but failed. She broke into laughter.
"Fine," he said, laughing, "then let's take it the rest of the way home and try some cowboy boots on this mother."
"You have been watching a lot of TV," said Eireka, rolling her eyes.
A tiny rallying cry erupted from Correk's pocket. "Motherfuckers!" Correk held open the door to the store.
"Nice ventriloquism," said an older woman wearing a white crocheted vest as she dropped a dollar in his hand. Eireka laughed as they wandered into the store and stood at the end of the aisles, their mouths open, staring at the rows upon rows of boots.
"Can I help you?"
A short young woman with a glossy dark ponytail and bright white teeth stood behind them. She was wearing jeans tucked into blue cowboy boots embroidered with gold thread.
"I want those," said Eireka, pointing at the woman's boots. The woman smiled as Correk stared at her teeth. Eireka caught him pulling in just a little magic. She gave him a hard tap on the arm. "She's not one of us. Those are human teeth or at least made by humans and glossed to perfection. No magic."
"I thought for sure that was a glamour."
Eireka shrugged. "Of sorts, just the human kind. Come on, let's try on some boots. Oh look, they do have little tiny red ones!"
"Those are for dollhouses. The little girls love them. You have one at home?" said the woman, still smiling as she pulled out a box. Eireka didn't even get a chance to answer. "Size seven, right? I can usually call 'em. What about you, big guy? Ready to join us here in Texas? Maybe start with some roach killer boots? Got just the pair for you. Have a seat." She pointed to a long bench. "I'll be right back. Don't move y'all," she said, as she disappeared around the corner, heading down a different aisle.
"Why do I feel compelled to obey her?" asked Correk, smiling.
"Texas women are not to be trifled with. Now you know where Leira got that from, along with her fierce loyalty. I wonder if I'll ever stop feeling guilty."
"I believe you will, with time. I have this theory. Maybe it comes from living so many years. The bigger picture is a lot bigger. At first, we make so many mistakes, step on other people most of the time without even meaning to. Sometimes things just happen and you end up separated from the people you love. But...," he held up a finger, "then life takes another turn and suddenly things change. You get these strange do-overs that don't exactly resemble what you missed or what you wrecked but they're so close, you know it's another chance. And if you can just let go and be in the moment it heals even the deepest wounds."
Eireka put a hand on Correk's arm. "Thank you for that. I suppose a hundred-year perspective comes in handy sometimes."
"Imagine how full of myself I'll be at five hundred years. Keep your eyes open for them, Eireka. You'll get your chance to share a few moments with Leira you thought were lost. No magic necessary."
"Like those teeth," she said, trying to smile.
"Oh, those teeth are amazing! Earth has the most interesting things to offer that don't exactly have a function but I get drawn to them anyway."
"Like a moth to a back porch light."
"Here we go." The young woman was back with a short pile of larger boxes. "Size twelve I'm betting. Try these on first. Learn to do a little two-stepping in these bad boys." She pulled out a pair of dark brown leather boots with a buckle across the ankle. "And with your love of costume, you add a pair of tight jeans, a flannel shirt and a cowboy hat and with that long hair, you'll fit right in. The ladies will be all over you," she said, giving him a long wink.
Correk started and looked down at the boots, doing his best not to make eye contact again.
"Here, let me help you with the boots."
"I've got it, thank you," he said, hurriedly. He floundered, pulling and twisting till he got both boots on and stood up, stamping his feet, his hands on his hips.
"I can already see it," said Eireka.
"What'd I tell you?" asked the woman.
Eireka turned and noticed a pair of boots sitting in a box by another bench, waiting to be reshelved. They were maroon with pearl white stitching in a series of dots up and down the boots. Eireka went over and pulled out a boot, rubbing a finger down the front, feeling the
soft leather. Leira would love these. She let out a worried sigh.
"You should get them for her." Correk was standing next to her, standing a little taller in the boots. "She'll love them."
"I don't know. I used to know." A lump caught in her throat.
"She'll love them. Time she got out of running shoes from time to time. You've noticed what she wears on her hand."
Eireka looked up, holding her breath for a moment.
"My old ring. I noticed. The boots would be a start for all the things I couldn't buy her, didn't get to see her wear." She looked at the saleswoman still standing nearby.
"We'll take all three. Hand me the boxes and I'll go pay for them." Eireka held up her hand, stopping Correk before he could protest. "My treat, I insist. Let me do something nice for a cousin. Most I've been able to buy anyone in a long time was something out of a vending machine."
"Ain't that sweet." The young woman handed Correk her card. "You ever want to learn how to do a little dancing in those boots, you give me a call. Name's Brittany." She gave him another long, slow wink before stepping over the boxes, her hand already out, heading for another group of dazed tourists standing at the ends of the aisles, frozen to the spot. "Hi y'all, welcome to Allen's Boots. What are you looking for?" At the last moment, she turned around and blew Correk a kiss.
Eireka gave a crooked smile as she slid the boxes onto the counter. "Wear them out," she said to Correk, before he could pull of the boots. "I want this tiny pair too," she added, grabbing a pair of the small, hand-stitched red doll boots. She rubbed the soft maroon boots again, daring to hope. "A small do over," she whispered to herself, a catch in her throat.