by Martha Carr
"Mama, you give the call," said Yumfuck, letting out a cackle.
Mother Troll clapped her hands together, curling her tongue, smiling broadly as she hesitated, watching everyone holding themselves back. At last, she let out a loud, high-pitched trill and dropped her hands. The other trolls dove in, rolling all over each other, taking licks and swipes and small nibbles of everything. Everyone got to share in the feast.
Minutes later it was all gone and the trolls went off in search of a soft, warm place to sleep.
Yumfuck sat down on the stoop in front of his mother's mushroom cottage. She came and sat next to him, still licking the creamy filling from a Twinkie off her fur. "Saw you do a straight dive through the middle of one of those, Mama. Nice work. Couldn't have done it better myself." Yumfuck let out a cackle as his mother joined in, settling down next to her son.
"Your dad's taking the youngest thirty of your siblings out on a sleepover deeper in the Dark Forest or he'd be here too. I'll tell him you stopped by. He'll be happy to know you're doing so well." She patted Yumfuck on his knee. "Tell me about where you live. I want all the details to share with your father."
"I live in a large building made of wood that has its own kitchen and endless supply of food. My nest is a cozy box with a silky, warm blanket and there's something they call T.V. that works like the Light Elves magic. It shows all kinds of adventures over and over again. It never ends," he squeaked, throwing up his arms in delight.
"You landed in paradise!" She squeezed her son around his neck. "You've made this family proud with your bond. Have you taught them anything about what you know? The hibiscus found on Oriceran or the sweet peapods that regenerate?"
"That hasn't come up yet." Yumfuck gave a shrug. "There's time. There's too much to do there. Botany can wait."
His mother tilted her head to the side. "You're letting them think you don't really understand them, aren't you?" Yumfuck gave another shrug and smiled.
His mother let out a loud laugh and fell over on her side. "You always were the prankster. That's a good one. A troll that can't understand. Wuueeee! Now I've heard everything!"
"Let me show you the dance I've learned. Sing something."
His mother trilled a song as Yumfuck turned around, shaking his small bottom, looking over his shoulder with a smile. He put his paws on his knees and shook some more as his mother laughed. "They call it twerking. It's big over there."
"Your father would be so proud! I'll remember to tell him everything." She rocked back, still laughing, clapping her paws. "When you go back to Earth, if you find yourself in Cincinnati, look up your cousin, Earle. He's bonded with a Wizard. Oooh, or if you go to a place called Charlottesville, Virginia I hear there's an entire village on Afton Mountain. You have a few hundred cousins there by now. Lily's there with her brood. Show them the Twinkies. They'll be amazed! Hey, your cousin, Balzac was almost eaten by a boar in the Dark Forest last month but he rolled up into a ball and plopped right into an old gopher hole. That was a close one! I tell you kids all the time to keep your ears and eyes open for boars and harpies. Flying skeletons!"
Yumfuck sat down next to his mother and squeezed her paw. "Love you, Mom."
"Love you, too. I hear that from you kids at least a couple hundred times a day. Never gets old, I tell you. A troll's life is the best thing to be. What a day!"
Chapter Nine
Leira walked with General Anderson down H Street in Washington, DC admiring the budding trees. She was wearing a backpack with the brass lamp inside, carefully wrapped in a soft, cotton cloth. The decision had been made to move it to a more secure location and the general was entrusting Leira with the shipment. The general could think of only one place that was capable of being the guardian for something he didn't want to see being used by anyone and had reached out to the Silver Griffins.
Lacey Trader was all too happy to oblige and had even offered a safer mode of travel but not till Leira and the general had both been sworn to secrecy and signed an oath to never disclose the location or anything they saw.
The general's curiosity was piqued and he insisted on seeing her off even though the beginning of the directions explicitly stated the trip was not for the weary, ill or out of shape.
The directions were handwritten on a piece of paper by a local Witch and handed over to Leira. "No one else is to handle them," said the Witch, giving a hard look at the general who had stood nearby. Human hands will make the letters turn into a jumble. You've been warned."
"I'm part human," she had been quick to say.
The Witch startled and took Leira's hands, holding them for a moment. Leira noticed a tattoo on her wrist of two griffins facing each other. The crest of the Silver Griffins Order.
"No, we're good. You're not over the limit."
Whatever that means. Silver Griffins love them some drama.
They came to the Metro Station on the edge of Chinatown and waited till the flood of people riding up the escalators was passing by them, using the cover to slip inside a plain, brown metal door to the side of the escalators. Leira took out the brass key she'd been given by a Witch in Austin. The handle was in the shape of a three-leaf clover. She was given explicit instructions not to lose it but not to worry. It always returned to its rightful place after a certain amount of time.
Leira quickly unlocked the door, holding it open briefly for the general as they passed through. Leira was certain that no one would pay too much attention to a man in a military uniform going through a side door anywhere in the Capitol.
Inside the small alcove was an old elevator with a heavy, expandable door that Leira shoved at with her shoulder till they were both inside the small compartment. The general glanced up at Leira and said, "It's been real."
"I have assurances this is used all the time." She pushed the one button on the panel as the elevator took off with a whoosh, plummeting several stories. Leira fell back against the wall behind her, clutching the edges of a ledge to keep herself upright. The elevator slowed as it neared the bottom, gently coming to rest as a soft bell echoed, letting them know they were at their stop.
"You have to wonder if the guy who built that thing had a sense of humor or really hated your kind."
"Supposedly he is my kind. You know, part of me is your kind, too." Leira pulled out the piece of paper she'd been given and studied the directions. "We have to take a flight of stairs still and there's a note here not to be worried about any other stairs we see. Not sure what that means... This must be the door to the stairs."
"It's the only door."
"That's what's giving me a high degree of confidence."
They stepped through and found themselves on a small, black metal platform that gave a distinctive creak as they stepped onto it. It was situated high above the ground, several more stories below and was attached to the wall by a series of iron pipes. A system of stairs wound down from it, crisscrossing with other stairs that led off in other directions, disappearing into the darkness.
"Do those directions say which set of stairs?”
"There's something about follow the green dots, not the blue or the yellow and if we find ourselves staring at orange dots, go back. I heard the words, abandoned line and Kilomeas and its own little Dark Market. Not sure, exactly. That was said with some severity. There was also a mention that I would just know if we're on the right track."
The general raised his eyebrows as he looked over at Leira. "You mean, you'll get a vibe?" He waggled his fingers in the air.
Leira suppressed a laugh with a cough and looked down at the paper as if she was studying it for more details. "The staircases are permanently illuminated from... what does that say?" Leira read it again as her mouth formed an O. "No wonder this place is kept hidden from human beings. She read part of the directions out loud. "The staircases are permanently illuminated from within and are one long, intact artifact created by an earlier chapter of the Silver Griffins dating from the early 20th century." She cleared her throat and loo
ked at the general. "I suppose you understand this is part of that non-disclosure you signed before I brought you here."
"Perfectly understood." The general ventured closer to the edge of the six foot by six foot platform, peering over the edge. "Amazing. No matter how long I live, there's always something that will cause wonderment inside of me. I live for those moments. Too many dark ones that I can't imagine a moment before I behold them." He turned to Leira just as his foot slipped and he stumbled, his hat falling off his head. He caught it in mid-air just before it fell into the vast darkness surrounding the stairs. "That caught my breath for a second. Would have had to just call that one a loss."
"We should get started. You good with this many stairs?"
"Can still pass an army physical," he said, curtly.
Note to self, do not impugn the general's physical capabilities. Good to know. Leira took the lead and started down the stairs, curving to the left as she kept an eye out for the green dots. She looked down at one point, two staircases below the top and realized she was staring at a blue dot. "Wait here."
Leira took off up the stairs, lightly running her hand over the rail as a guide. She got halfway up to a junction where the stairs split like a spider web with different legs into several directions. She darted down each set a few steps till she saw a dot, running back up when she saw blue or yellow. At the next to last one she finally found green but couldn't resist looking over her shoulder at what had to be a flight of stairs with orange dots.
"Save that curiosity for another time." She leaned over the rail and called to the general. "This way."
He hurried up the stairs, one hand on his hat and they continued on their way down the labyrinth into the bowels of Washington, DC.
Four stories down they passed close to a brick wall that was scratched with different initials and dates. H.W. 1910 and P.A. 1933 or L.L. 1945.
"If these walls could talk..." whispered Leira as she looked at the vast wall, covered in initials.
"Right about now I would not be entirely surprised if it suddenly did."
Leira paused for a moment just to see if it might be possible. A talking wall. She shook her head, wondering how far down the rabbit hole they were actually going.
Six stories down they came across a cape with a wand carefully propped on top. "Don't touch it," cautioned Leira. "It's a trap. Bait for anyone who doesn't know the system. It'll set off alarms and a spell or two. I don't know what kind but I'd rather skip it this trip."
"Agreed," said the general, as he gave it a wide berth. "Clever, have to admire that."
"Sure, I suppose."
At eight stories down Leira could see a reflection from below and realized they were getting close. Her calves were starting to ache and she was still keeping up with her long runs through Austin streets. She could only imagine how the general was feeling but he wasn't showing any signs of slowing down. Now that's something you have to admire.
She looked down at the last platform as the stairs broke off into two directions. She looked down and realized she was about to put her foot onto an orange dot. Slowly, she eased her foot down anyway. Let's see what happens.
A wave of nausea came over her and her bones felt as if they were turning to liquid. She threw her weight backward enough to fall onto the platform, dragging her legs in and curling up until the feeling passed.
The general came and bent over her. "I suppose that's what they meant by a vibe. I take it that packed quite a wallop. Somebody out here has their own alarm system to keep out the Elves."
“Yeah…” she gasped, swallowing a little bile. “I say we go the other way.”
"Good idea," he said, smiling, still bent over. He stood up straight and waited patiently till she made it to her hands and knees, pulling herself to a standing position by holding onto the rail.
"Okay," she eked out. "I'm ready." She took in a few good deep breaths and set out again. Second note to self. Pay attention to the fucking directions in magical places in particular. Or run the risk of being turned into Jello or worse.
They headed down the final flight of stairs and at the last few steps, Leira's shoes started to stick and she had to pull her legs harder with each step to make any headway. The general was having the same issues.
"One last test I suppose. Hang on, let me read the directions." Leira let out a snort. "Oh, no... Leftover from an Elven rager. Apparently without permission. There's a mention here of the cleaning bill and some residual effects. Okay, here we are in what feels like the center of the Earth. No wonder Lacey said this would be safe from prying eyes." Leira peered into the darkness, wondering if there might be other eyes staring back. She took out a flashlight and shined it ahead of her to see if anything shined back or skittered away.
Nothing. Why am I disappointed? Hagan would love this part. Stairs might have done him in.
Leira stood in the darkness, holding up the flashlight so she could read the piece of paper in her hand. The stripes along her running shoes glowed silver in the darkness. "Why a Witch needs to write things down on a piece of paper is beyond me. You'd think she could send them to me in a spell, or something."
"What are you muttering?" General Anderson stumbled across the old stone pavers in the tunnel. "Don't you have a little magic of your own?"
"I was given strict instructions by Lacey Trader who gave these to me not to use magic down here. My magic can leave a trail that could attract an unsavory crowd. That's a quote. I think it was some kind of weird compliment about my abilities. And, frankly after the last artifact mission she's probably not that thrilled with the PDF."
The general chuckled, his face half hidden in the shadows of his large service cap. "That was a good one. Finally routed that Atlantean they love to use. Blasted woman has bested us one too many times." The general stumbled again, holding out his arms to steady himself as he kept right on talking. "Mind you, I like her, even if she does play a little rough. She gets the job done."
"Just not for our side, exactly."
"Frankly, if Lacey had asked nicely I might have seen the sense of locking the daggum thing up in her vault."
"You mean, like we're about to do anyway."
"That would be what I meant. That lamp is a little too powerful to take any chances with. Who knew the thing acted like a steady portal, even on Earth? Can you imagine a clever thief using something like that?"
"I can imagine a clever thief going boom using something like that. Hang on! I think I've found it." Leira found the fuse box along the western wall near the old rusted green door just like Lacey wrote down. She opened the box and threw the large handle into the up position, lighting the space. "At last, much better. General Anderson, welcome to the underground world of the Silver Griffins and other magical beings living on this planet."
The general and Leira turned round and round, their mouths hanging open as the light illuminated an old rail car painted a glossy red with the number four-four-one painted in gold on the side. "Will you look at that..."
"That's an authentic Pullman car from the 1900s. I'd know it anywhere." The general stood as close as he dared, keeping his hands off it, per the instructions.
Nearby was a snack shop, closed for the night. Above it was a sign neatly painted with the words, Washington Metro Station.
"Lacey said thousands travel through here every year." Another underground world. First Hilldale and now this. Leira kept the thought to herself. The general was already learning enough about the hidden magic of Earth. He didn't need to know that there were entire cities beneath his feet.
"Seems deserted now. I suppose that's for the best."
Lacey had also insisted if the general was going down to the substation it had to be after hours so no one got spooked by the presence of a human. "A military human, no less," she had said. "Make sure he doesn't touch anything. He'll leave a trail that anyone can follow and they'll think the place has been found out."
The general looked up at the curved ceiling at the polis
hed glass and stone mosaic of the constellations. "I pride myself on knowing all the constellations but not all of those look familiar."
Leira looked up at the mosaic and gave a crooked smile. "That's because not all of them are floating over this planet. That one over there is from the skies over Oriceran. I suppose that was their way of bringing a little home to this place without actually giving up any secrets if someone stumbled onto the place."
"We are standing at stop 441 of the underground SGRS. Silver Griffin Railway System.” Leira went over to the car and ran her hand along the brass fittings. "This baby runs under most of North America." She walked around the outside. "Not the only one, either. I've heard rumors about this, well... stories from Nana and Mom but they made it sound like actual fairytales. Imagine what it took to carve out tunnels like this." She touched the numbers on the side of the car and they lit up, sparkling under her touch. Gas lights inside the car lit, flickering shadows against the tunnel walls, and the engine revved.
"I think your ride is ready for you."
"Was it worth the trek down here, General? You have to venture all the way back up those stairs."
"Wouldn't have missed it. How often does a person get to see the largest railway system on this planet that almost no one has ever heard of? Climb on board, I'll stand back here as instructed. No touching anything for me. Still, she's a beaut. Used to play with trains as a boy. Would have loved to have something like this in my collection. An actual Pullman car. If that doesn't beat all. Jessica would have loved this."
Leira wanted to ask him about Jessica but there wasn't time. The rail car was revving its engines even more, as if it was signaling it was leaving the station, with or without her. She stepped up the steps and onto the car, taking a seat on the side closest to the general. "I suppose this thing knows where to take me. The directions don't say anything about what to do once I'm on here." Leira looked down just in time to see the paper crumble and blow away as if it never existed. "That explains the handwritten notes. Very efficient."