by Zara Rivas
He sighed before jumping off his swing. He grabbed a hold of the chains on either side of me, making it impossible for me to get away. He was too close; I could smell his cologne. For a nanosecond, I felt myself caving.
"You really don't give yourself enough credit," he smirked, but it wasn't like his normal arrogant smirk. It was secretive, as if saying he knew something I didn't. "You have this fiery personality that I can't stay away from. You're funny. You don't let anyone have the final say—" he smiled, "—not even me, and that's a feat." He reached out and twirled a lock of my dark chocolate hair around his fingers. "You're beautiful and you have no idea." He let the words sink in before continuing. His hands had slid down the chains and were covering mine. His thumbs were stroking my knuckles in identical patterns. I didn't stop him; at no point did I want to. "I'll admit the challenge makes a difference, Katie, but not for the reason you think. You're a challenge because you don't give in. Just because everyone else likes me doesn't mean you have to, and you're right, but it doesn't mean you have to hate me either."
"I don't…" I said, my voice lower than normal. He released one of my hands and raised my chin with two fingers. Through everything he said, I hadn't met his eyes. Now I had no choice.
No matter how many times I looked into his eyes, the color always shocked me. They were such a clear blue that they couldn't have been real.
"Do you wear contacts?" I found myself asking.
He shook his head, his fingers sliding from my chin to my cheek. His index finger tickled my earlobe. "Will you cut me some slack?" he asked, "Maybe give me a chance to prove that I don't have to be the ass I've been?"
I hesitated. I wasn't sure he deserved another chance and even if he did, did I want to bother knowing I'd be leaving him soon? I already knew it was going to be difficult to lose Kari, Stephanie, and Erica as friends. Did I really want to add Casey into the mix if he proved to be more than a jerk? I focused on his eyes again and found myself allowing him another chance without thinking about it any further.
"And if I prove myself, can we maybe do the prom thing?" I looked at him sharply. He smiled sheepishly. "I know, I know, I was a dick. But I'm trying. And I did mean it… I do want to go with you."
"If I say 'we'll see,' will you please take it at that this time?" I asked, exasperated.
"Promise," he grinned. He dropped his hand from my cheek and I stood up. His hand still covered mine on the chain and we were closer than ever. I could feel my heartbeat accelerate, though I wasn't sure why. "You're a bigger softie than you'd like to let on, aren't you?" He squeezed my hand before letting go, but he didn't back away.
I knew what he was doing. Even though he was trying to make things better between us, he was still testing me. He wanted to know if I was uncomfortable, if I would back off, but I refused. I hated losing these unspoken battles and it was clear that he knew it. He was using it to his advantage.
He took a step closer, closing the space between us. He rested one hand on my hip and smiled. "You know you can stop this at any time."
I didn't respond. Instead, I lifted my hand to his face and softly traced his jaw line. I felt him shudder just slightly and smiled triumphantly. He didn't blush or look away; in fact, he seemed awfully happy with himself.
His free hand cupped my cheek. He stroked my cheek gently with his thumb, his eyes never leaving mine. I did my best to not react, but he was affecting me. He pulled me against him suddenly and I could feel him everywhere. He pressed his lips to the nape of my neck so softly that I squirmed. He tangled his hand in my hair and continued to press feather-light kisses to my neck. I had my arms around him so tightly that I thought I might be hurting him, but he didn't react.
He pulled away suddenly, looking me straight in the eyes. This was no longer a test of wills. "I'm going to kiss you now," he said seriously, but his eyes were twinkling. "If you want to stop me, now's the time."
Stopping him was the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted him to kiss me so bad that I didn't think about anything else. I could feel his lips descending on mine and I thought I might explode if he didn't move any faster. I could feel his breath on my lips when I felt a tug on my jeans.
Startled, I looked down, surprised to find a young blonde girl standing next to me. "He has cooties, you know," the young girl said, totally serious.
Casey pulled from me reluctantly. I wrapped my arms around myself at his absence, feeling somewhat chilled. "Katie, how many times have I told you? Cooties don't affect me. I'm your brother."
His eyes met mine momentarily and I saw the heat they held. I knew suddenly that I needed to get away. What the hell had just happened? Had I really almost kissed Casey Fitzgerald? Had I really wanted to? I shook my head, unable to wrap my mind around what just happened.
"I… uh…" I tried to speak, but I couldn't. I opted for walking away.
"Not running away, are you?" Casey asked, but his voice was taunt-free.
"No," I said defiantly, ignoring the rather loud 'yes' my mind had admitted.
His eyes sparkled in a way that screamed he didn't believe me, but he didn't call me on it. "Good. This little devil—" he glared at his sister, but patted her affectionately on the head, "—is my sister Katie." He glanced up at me, "And this—"
I didn't want to hear his introduction. I bent down to Katie's level and introduced myself. "I'm Katie, too."
Her blue eyes lit up and she suddenly looked so much like her brother that I felt myself backing away a little. "Casey told me about you!"
"Yeah?" I asked. "What'd he say?" I took a glance at Casey and he suddenly seemed unsure of himself.
"He said that someone new moved here and her name was Katie. And then he said that all Katies must be blessed by something 'cause we're both really pretty. And then he talked some more, but I didn't listen 'cause he never shuts up about girls. He gives away his cooties like they're presents. That's why I stopped you. Cooties are bad."
Casey rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. We both had cooled off some, but I could still feel his lips on my neck. I shook my head just slightly and Casey smiled triumphantly. He knew he had an affect on me, though he seemed awfully keen to forget the affect I had on him.
"Nah, Katie," I said and approached Casey. I traced his jaw line in the exact same way I had before, knowing it affected him. His eyes widened. He had no idea what I was doing.
Good, I thought, your turn to be on that side of the equation.
I dropped my hand to his chest and let it trail downward, watching him squirm. I slipped a finger under his tee shirt and trailed it along the hem of his jeans. His eyes were closed, his hands balled into fists, before I stepped away. "See, Katie… I'm still the same. Your brother's right. I think he doesn't have cooties. He probably gave them all to the rest of the girls he hasn't shut up about."
Katie giggled, "You're probably right."
"Well, I gotta take Katie to the doctor, so we should probably go," Casey finally spoke, ignoring our talk of cooties. Katie looked disappointed. She obviously liked very much having me as an ally. She trudged back to get Dixie from the tree she tied her to.
He raised his eyebrows at me as she retreated. He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up a hand. "Don't ruin it, Casey."
He snickered, but didn't say anything until Katie returned. "If I don't see you, have a good break."
I nodded, "You too."
I sank back into the swing I had been sitting on and watched him walk away, Katie and Dixie in front of him. He turned back and waved at me before he got into his car. I raised my hand in acknowledgement. Leaning my head against the chain, I couldn't help but wonder what the hell had just happened. More importantly, what did it mean?
Chapter Seven
Chicago is huge.
I got off the train at Union Station and walked the couple of blocks to the Sears Tower, where I was meeting Erin. It's the biggest building in the country, she reasoned, it's impossible to miss.
She smi
led in greeting, her short blonde hair in messy pigtails. We took the elevated train south to the University of Chicago campus. We didn't talk much; the roar of the train made it difficult. It was a gorgeous day so we opted to walk to campus rather than taking a bus from the station.
"So there's a party tonight," Erin said excitedly, linking her arm through mine. I missed her infectious excitement; she made even the most boring tasks seem grand. "And there's a guy I really want you to meet."
I rolled my eyes. I'd been in Chicago for less than an hour and she was already talking about guys. It wasn't surprised—she was one of the most boy crazy girls I knew. "What happened to 'tour the school!'?" I imitated her teasingly.
"It's Saturday," she scolded. "Besides, I need you to distract him."
"Distract him?" I asked as we stopped near a crosswalk.
She nodded emphatically. "We kinda hooked up a couple weeks ago and he's kinda way more into me than I am. Someone else is going to be there…"
"So I get your seconds?" I inquired.
"Would you want it any other way?" she laughed as we crossed the street quickly. She told me about the guy I was supposed to distract for the rest of the walk to campus. His name was Brian and she described him basically as a god. He played lacrosse and, according to Erin, had the best abs she'd ever seen. He was extremely good looking and smart and everything I'd ever want, she explained. By the end of her description, she almost had me believing it myself.
"So why are you giving him to me?" I asked. "And what's to say he would even want me, if he's as godly as you say?"
She rolled her eyes, "He's looking for a relationship," she said the word as if it burned her. Erin wasn't the type stay with one guy for very long. She was young, she said, and she wasn't looking for anything serious. She had the rest of her life for that. "And you're beautiful and totally unaware of it. Guys think that's hot."
"I know," I said dully, my mind back in the place I had not let it go since Thursday. It hadn't been easy, but I had managed to push Casey out of my mind with promising thoughts of Chicago, knowing I wouldn't have to see him. I had been practically overjoyed at his absence at school on Friday. Everyone was so anxious to be done with school for a week that I had quickly forgotten about Casey. And I hadn't thought about him since. Not until Erin had to go and say the same thing he had.
Erin was looking at me strangely, her eyes sparkling amusedly. "Maybe I don't need to introduce you to this guy. Maybe you've already got someone…?"
I covered my ears childishly. She just laughed. "Is this the same guy you've been complaining about since you moved to Wisconsin? Casey, or whatever?"
"There is no guy!" I objected, not removing my hands from my ears, though I could obviously hear her. She guided me through the doors to her dorm and we walked down the hall to her room. When she opened the door, I was honestly speechless. Dorms are supposed to be small. They just are. But apparently the twenty-five thousand dollar tuition she was paying made it easier for the university to pay for huge living quarters.
"This is amazing," I finally said, dropping my duffel bag on the floor.
She grinned, "I know. But you're not getting out of telling me about this guy."
I glared at her. "There is no guy."
"You're a horrible liar, Katie. We both know it. So you finally realized you want this guy? Is he hot?"
"No," I said defiantly. "He's ugly. And annoying. And he thinks he's so damn great at everything."
She kept grinning and pointed me at her bed. "My roommate's out of town for the weekend so I'm using hers. When she comes back on Monday, I think she's gonna stay with her boyfriend." She sat down at her desk and checked her email before confronting me again. "So if he's as bad as you say, you must really be pissed that you like him."
"I don't like him!" I exclaimed. "I'll prove it to you. This guy… Brian. I'll distract him."
She shook her head. "Whatever you want, Kate. Just don't regret it later."
"I won't," I replied vehemently. I needed to get stupid Casey Fitzgerald out of my mind. Another guy would be perfect.
My cell phone chimed, surprising me. I had a text message and the only person who ever sent them to me was sitting a few feet away, her phone out of sight.
The message was short: 'hows the windy city? :)' When I scrolled down to see the sender, I already knew who it would be. I settled for throwing my phone at Erin and burying my face in her comforter. She read the message and laughed while I died on the inside. Why couldn't he stay out of my life?
She tossed the phone back at me, a mischievous grin on her face. I sighed and went to my sent messages. She sent back to him one word—lonely.
I threw my pillow at her in a rage, annoyed that she found my suffering so funny. I shut my phone off before he could reply and tossed it by my pillow. I knew what his response would entail and I didn't want to give him the power to embarrass me when we were nearly one hundred miles apart.
"Why don't you give him a chance?" Erin asked. "He seems innocent enough."
I shook my head, thinking of our rendezvous in the park. "He is anything but innocent." I recalled for her reluctantly the events of that fateful morning. I was, of course, much more dramatic, but I didn't leave anything out.
"Why, now, Katie… I didn't know you had it in you. What a tease," she was still grinning. "I bet he needed a cold shower after that."
"Shut it," I growled. "I'm not here to talk about him. Let's do some shopping before this party. I gotta find something nice to wear for tonight." I wanted that to be the last time Casey was mentioned, but I knew it was unlikely. Regardless, I intended on having a good time at the party. I deserved it.
The party was raging by the time Erin and I finally arrived. She had mastered the art of tardiness, I had known it since childhood, but it always bothered me. Shopping had taken much longer than I would have wanted—I was fine at the cheaper shops on State Street. I found a great pair of jeans and a cute red tank at the first store we stopped at, but Erin insisted we go to Michigan Avenue, where all the designer stores were located, so she could find something. I didn't understand where she got her money, but we hadn't gotten back to campus until dinnertime. Getting ready for the party itself took Erin another couple of hours—she spent more time on her hair than I did on everything. She looked great, of course, but all the time she spent didn't seem necessary. She always looked great.
She shoved a blue plastic cup into my hands within seconds of our arrival. Erin made small talk with a few people before nudging me towards a raven haired guy, sitting in the corner with a few other guys. "That's Brian," she whispered. I shook my head. Someone that was usually so good at talking things up had really not done her job this time. Brian was gorgeous. His raven hair fell messily in front of his eyes, but he didn't bother to move it. He was wearing jeans and a tight green tee shirt that clung to him in all the right places. His smile was beautiful and genuine and I found myself entranced by his full lips. I would have been entirely happy to just stare at him for the rest of the night, not bothering with conversation.
He stood upon seeing Erin and when his bright blue eyes light up, I groaned. I mean, I actually let out a groan. Both Erin and Brian looked at me, puzzled.
"This is my cousin Katie," Erin introduced me to Brian. "She's here visiting during her spring break. She's coming here next year."
"I might be coming here next year," I corrected her. "I do recall you saying I have a 'stack of acceptance letters'. This is just the first one."
Erin rolled her eyes and Brian smiled before introducing himself. "I'm Brian Fitzgerald. I'm a sophomore and this is a great school. You might not need to look anywhere else."
I barely heard anything besides his name. Some part of me knew it before he said it, but I thought I might have just been going a little crazy. Surely his eyes weren't the exact color of Casey's—I was making it up. My mind was playing tricks on me. I wanted to believe more than anything that he wasn't Casey's brother.
"Brian's from Wisconsin too," Erin encouraged, realizing that I wasn't going to make conversation on my own.
His interest sparked. He looked at me for the first time. "You're from Wisconsin? Where?"
"Not from so much as it's currently where I live," I corrected. "And the same place as you."
Both Erin and Brian looked puzzled yet again. I sighed. "I know your brother."
"Casey?" Brian asked.
"Do you have another one?" He shook his head. "Then yeah, Casey."
Erin took one look at me and burst out laughing. "Oh, Katie, it's fate."
"Shut up, Erin. I'll kill you."
Brian's eyes sparkled amusedly and I closed my eyes, not able to look at him when he resembled Casey so much.