by Zara Rivas
"Is that why you broke up with Essa?"
Breaking out of his momentary stupor Creston blinked a few times whilst digesting Chris' words. There was a moment of peace as he considered his statement. It was true that the main reason he let go of Essa was because of Cassandra's pregnancy, but the other reason was because he felt inadequate – as if he wasn't worthy enough for her to like perhaps even love.
"It doesn't matter," he responded. "Even if I did say yes, the fact is: we've broken up already."
Chris furrowed his brows, clenching his teeth. If he could he would have smacked Creston right then and there for being an idiot. As tempting as the action was, he knew that he couldn't bear to inflict anymore damage to his friend. In all honesty, Chris had always doubted that Creston could be such an asshole and now that he knew the reason why Spencer had did what he did, he felt compelled to apologise for his behaviour.
"Don't you think she deserves to know the truth rather than be deluded by her own thoughts and insecurities?"
The brown haired figure froze, the expression on his face altering from indifference to one of concern. He leaned forward a little, clearly troubled by the information he just received. "Insecurities?" He breathed, "She thinks we broke up because she thinks she's not pretty enough?" He enquired incredulous.
The blonde form relaxed in his seat, "What do you think Cres?" He asked rhetorically, "You did after all tell her that it was her and not you." He pointed, "So she's been silently picking herself apart, she thinks it's the way she dresses, her height, her eyes. Heck! Even though she doesn't say it, it's clear that she thinks that it's all her."
Peace engulfed the two of them as comprehension registered on Creston's face. He felt numb and wretched; he had never intended to hurt Essa in that way. "I never intended to leave that impression," he whispered. "I just wanted her to hate me; it would have been easier that way to forget."
Chris tried not to scoff impatiently at Creston, "Well we both know what's really going on with her," he grumbled and sight. "Now that we're here, mind telling me the whole story?" He questioned and waited patiently as Creston broke into the long story which led him to do the foolish deeds he had done.
As hours lapsed, the two of them had moved to a nearby cafe, chugging down alcoholic beverages, no more grudges keeping them apart. Taking a deep drink from his bottle of beer, Creston could only stare at his best friend with soft eyes. He felt grateful that Chris was wise enough to forgive him for the remarks he had said at school the other day even though he knew he'd never get over it personally.
It appeared the wide gap between them had been abruptly closed off and for once in what felt like forever, Creston was thankful that he could actually talk to someone about his predicament. He wasn't so alone anymore, no longer having to face his burdens on his own whilst playing a charade before the eyes of others.
Placing his drink down onto the table, he paused for a moment before the words slipped past his lips. "Do you think it's Karma?"
Chris found himself laughing at his friend's query. "C'mon Spence," he voiced. "You never believed in that shit,"
Creston shook his head. "I do now, I mean come on Chris. Out of all the girls to feel serious about, it had to be Essa. And now that I am serious about her, shit like Cassandra getting pregnant happens."
"Are you even sure it's yours?" Chris asked again, his eyes were intense.
Creston rubbed his hands over his tired eyes. He had been contemplating the same question over and over again since Cassandra had revealed the news. As his mind travelled back to the days when he and the blonde were still together, the speck of uncertainty had dissipated. The doctor had said she was two months pregnant, and two months ago they were still together...
"It's not something I can doubt. We did sleep together," he replied.
Chris moaned in frustration, "I just can't believe you didn't use protection!" He half shouted, "I know it was an accident and all but geez Creston, you don't rely on someone like Cassandra to stay true to the pill,"
"Now you understand why I can't tell Essa the truth," the grey orbed male said gently.
"It's better the truth than lies,"
There was silence for a moment as Creston thought deeply. He had always thought of doing things differently, of telling Essa the truth as to why he had broken off the relationship. He wanted to make amends – to tell her that it was never her and that it was entirely his fault that their relationship had fallen apart. But he didn't want to hurt her again... He rather she hated him, that she cursed him so it would make it easier for her to forget about him. In his mind you had to be cruel to be kind. After all she deserved the best boyfriend, one with no baggage - and he knew he definitely didn't fit that criteria.
He had hundreds of flaws he could point out. He was cocky, condescending, slept around, and treated women like an object. In his mind he felt so 'wrong' for the girl. Not to mention he was soon going to be a teenage father... At the thought of this, the grey eyed male ran his hands through his light brown hair. He liked Essa too much to have asked her to stay around – and he was sure that it would hurt her more than ever to know he impregnated Cassandra.
Sighing, everything seemed to click into place. "Chris I'm going to need your help," he breathed and saw the way the blonde hesitated. "It's for the best," he whispered.
"Go on," Tynan urged.
"Just be there for her now that I'm not around."
Arching a brow Chris didn't know what to say. It was a given that he'd be there for his childhood friend, but he didn't understand why Creston couldn't come clean.
"She's my childhood friend – my best female friend – of course I'll take care of her."
With that final sentence, Creston felt reassured that Essa would mend in time.
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The final stroke of grey completed the painting the ebony haired female had created. She had spent majority of the afternoon painting the wonderful view of her father's countryside backyard, bathing in the warm sunlight and the soothing lullaby of the birds singing afar. For once in a long time she felt at peace with herself, no longer angry at the world or herself for the way things were right now in her life.
She had had a decent conversation with her father, had revealed her irritation towards him as well as her inability to forgive him for all that he'd done. It was getting the anger off her chest that relieved her, and now that everything was out in the open, she felt more comfortable spending time at her father's new home. Although all wasn't forgotten with her father and mother, Essa was sure that within due time she'd be able to cope better with her parents' separation – it was this frame of mind that had triggered her to apply it elsewhere.
Even though she was aching and still torn by the fact that Creston had chosen Cassandra over her, she knew that a large amount of time would be dedicated to the healing process and eventually she'll reach equilibrium. After all she had started life independent and single, so it shouldn't be too hard to go back. But that's if she could stop thinking about him.
"You okay?" came the gentle tone of her sister's voice to her right.
Essa faltered with her brush briefly before nodding her head. "Just recovering from that long dialogue this arvo,"
Taking Essa's explanation with no questions, Erica thought it was best to leave her alone.
Chapter Eighteen
Cassandra Wilkins unconsciously placed a hand over the small bump that was gradually growing as time lapsed. It had been over a month now since she had broken the news to Creston, and frankly within the past month her life seemed to have taken a turn for the better. The past few weeks had been full of new experiences – she had learnt more about pregnancy, more about herself, and to her absolute delight she had had a better glimpse of the real Creston Montgomery Spencer.
At the beginning when they had first dated there had always been a general expectation in her mind that Creston was a cool and collected person who
only really wanted her because she had been popular. She had thought that Creston was just like all the other jocks – after a good romp in bed – and at first Cassandra didn't really mind. For one thing she was confident that she was a great roll around in bed and for another, being labelled as 'Creston's girlfriend' appealed to her simply because he was: 1. The most sought after guy (aside from Chris) in school and 2. Had a reputation of bad boy and every girl wanted to be the one to tame and conquer him.
For Cassandra at the start, being with Creston was all about popularity and being envied by all the other girls. But now she realised that being with Creston was more than that... After spending so much time with him she started to see the real him and frankly she was beginning to love him. She learnt that Creston wasn't careless, nor was he cool or like some other typical jock. Even though he had always appeared cocky and confident to everyone at school, she noticed that the person underneath was bruised and broken.
He wasn't perfect like everyone had perceived him to be, nor was he some great God that everyone at Ocean High grovelled at. Instead, Cassandra had managed to get to know a human being that was capable of sadness, happiness, anger, fear, courage...
Resting her head against his leather couch, she could only stare at him as he wandered over to his closet, grabbing a new shirt to change into. As her pale green eyes took in the solemn expression etched across his features, she was reminded once again of the agony she was putting him through and another wave of guilt coursed through her. It was obvious that he was still in love with Essa Evans, but it was becoming clearer everyday that she couldn't lie to him anymore. She was beginning to appreciate him too much, beginning to believe that he was so imperfect that it made him perfect.
"You okay?"
Breaking out of her train of thoughts, she glanced up to meet his murky grey eyes and felt her heart beat a little faster. It was quite pathetic really... She was acting like a school girl again which was just ridiculous considering all the boys she'd kissed and dated. But what felt different this time around was the fact that she had grown a conscience.
"Just a little tired," she lied and almost wanted to take back her statement at the look of concern on his face. "I-I'm fine Creston," she reassured.
Stalking over to her seated figure, Creston bobbed down so that they were at a face-to-face level where he could study her face clearly. "Is it the baby? I'll take you to the doctor's." He explained, and went to gather her things when she pulled him back.
Shaking her head, the blonde could only smile gently.
"Are you still worried about exams Cass?" He asked tenderly, and his features softened. "They're over and done, besides you studied hard for them, we didn't spend three weeks studying for nothing."
Feeling torn between the truth and continuing to deceive, the blonde released a sigh. She liked the way he shortened her name – to her it felt so personal – she had never felt so taken care of by anyone before. Being with Creston for the past month had taught her a few things. She had learnt to cook the basics – she remembered that day when they baked a cake together – they had ended up having a huge food fight; flour and cream was smeared all over their bodies from head to toe.
Misinterpreting her silence, Creston closed the distance between them and placed a warm arm across her shoulders. Little did he know that his gesture had caused another wave of guilt to overtake the blonde.
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Trisha Davis could only stare silently at the brunette form of Sophia Teague. They had been sitting at a coffee shop quiet for the past fifteen minutes – Sophia clearly didn't want to talk about the topic at hand, though it was evident Trisha wanted to go through the nitty gritty of things. They had been busy chatting about exams and how each of them had done and then almost too abruptly, Trish touched on the topic of Sophia's love life.
Taking a sip from her cafe latte, Trish couldn't seem to find a way to wind around and get to the topic so she decided to speak out bluntly. "I want to know everything Soph, I mean you and Ess know what's going on in my life but I'm falling behind on yours," there was a rush of tranquillity before she spoke again. "Soph it's clear that there's something blossoming between you and Rowell,"
The brunette pursed her lips for a moment before blurting it all out. She hadn't revealed a single thing about herself for the past few weeks because they were all making sure Essa was alright, too absorbed with Essa's slowly mending life. It was evident that their friend was gradually coping with the fact that her and Creston weren't together anymore, but Trish and Soph had to admit that Essa appeared to be too happy to be fine.
"For one thing Essa's too cheery to really be fine, and yes I do think I like Rowell. But since he's a part of the soccer team I don't think I'll let anything happen because from experience soccer boys are jocks,"
The corner of Trish's mouth perked up at Sophia's remark. "It doesn't matter if he's a soccer boy Soph, as long as you like him I guess it's okay. Besides, Rowell never came off as a typical egotistical jerk to me,"
"That's because he isn't," interrupted the familiar voice of Essa as she took the vacant chair besides Soph. "Sorry I'm late,"
"Explain yourself," Trish half demanded.
"Had to help with her renovations at home,"
"Still not done?" Sophia enquired wanting so much to shift the limelight from her love life.
Essa shook her head in response, "But as for Rowell," she began and laughed when Soph sighed aloud. "He seems like a decent guy," she drifted and decided to expand when Trish arched a sceptical brow. "Well for one thing the guy doesn't sleep around and has been in long term relationships. To date he's only had two girlfriends and is currently single and I don't care why he and Kieran had a punch on, but it's clear he really likes you Soph."
Holding up a hand, Trish smiled. "No offense Ess, but you're seriously a freaky stalker." She informed, "How the hell did you pull Parker's dating log out of nowhere?"
Seeing that the waiter was bringing her drink, Essa waited for the woman to leave before answering her friend's query. "I just thought it'd be good to do a background check on him that's all, besides Chris knows anything and everything so dishing up info on Rowell Parker was easy as cake." She responded, "Furthermore, you don't want to date some jerk that would break your heart," she mumbled and took a drink to appear occupied.
Sharing a discreet look at one another, both Trish and Sophia read one another's mind. They were worried for their friend, concerned with the way she was handling things. There had been no moping time, nor any huge eating spree – ever since the break up, Essa had carried on with life as if the relationship never happened. Sure Essa was painting more, talking less and acting fine. However Trish knew that things weren't really over unless an official grieving period had occurred.
Unable to hold back the urge to bring up the topic, the dark blue eyed figure of Trish opened her mouth to speak only to feel a small kick in the shin under the table. Lifting her gaze to meet Sophia, she closed her mouth again at her friend's pleading look.
Sophia didn't want to bring up Creston, but Trish couldn't stand to sit by and see one of her best friends continue to suffer. The ebony haired form had closed herself off after her relationship fallout, and it was worrying. Throwing Soph a determined look, Trish opened her mouth and the words started to fall.
"Essa, about you and Creston," Trish began and it was obvious that there was no more running away from the topic.
With her breath held, Sophia waited for all hell to break loose...
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Creston didn't know where to start with Cassandra. She had been acting awfully jittery for the past week or so and every time he tried to comfort her she would literally jump away. At first he thought her change in mood was linked to the baby and hormones, however after going with her to the last check-up and the doctor had said she was a little stressed, he knew it was an entirely different
cause.
The past month had been eventful; for one thing they had conquered the exams period together – studied together and spent a whole lot of quality time in one another's company. He had also come to terms that Cassandra Wilkins wasn't like any of the airheaded bimbos at Ocean High. She actually did have feelings and emotions, she could use her brain to do calculations and frankly she could speak in proper sentences without the use of 'like'.
Feeling the gentle breeze, Creston observed as she sat rigidly beside him. For some reason she appeared to be really uncomfortable even though he knew there was no place that felt as calm to her as the beach. In an attempt to open her up and relieve her stress, he had decided to drive her to a nearby beach for some 'quiet time'.
"Creston?" Cassandra breathed and it had been the first word she had said ever since they arrived. Unable to meet his eyes, she glanced down at her hands. "I think there's something we should straighten out,"