by Leanne Banks
Amy’s eyes filled with tears. “Next time we’ll take a family trip and everyone will go,” she said.
Alisa saw the potential for a cryfest and was determined to head it off. “I need some cookie testers,” she said. “I’m still not sure I’ve got this recipe just right.”
Jeremy appeared front and center. “I’ll be a tester.”
“Me, too,” Nick yelled, then gave a quick squeeze to Justin before he followed Alisa to the kitchen.
Dylan shooed Justin and Amy out the door, and the weekend officially began. After a lunch of sandwiches and cookies, Alisa cleaned up the kitchen while the children played in the backyard. Dylan tossed the trash in the can.
“I didn’t know you liked children,” she said to him.
He met her gaze. “Why wouldn’t I? I was a kid once.”
“Well, you don’t have any children.”
“And I damn well am not having any unless I’m married,” he said heatedly, then shook his head and brushed his finger over her nose. “There are lots of things you don’t know about me, Alisa. You haven’t been paying attention for a long time.”
She wanted to deny it, but she couldn’t. With the exception of her recuperation after her accident, she had done her best not to pay attention to Dylan. She felt a surprising pang and wondered what she’d missed.
“Are you the same girl you were at eighteen?” he asked in a low voice.
She immediately shook her head. “No.”
“I’m not the same guy I was eight years ago, either.”
She couldn’t argue his reasoning. Food for thought when she was already full. She would think about it later. “We should probably check on the kids,” she said, and hurried outside to where the children played on an elaborate swing set that occupied half the backyard. After making sure everyone took a trip to the bathroom, she and Dylan situated the kids in the car and drove to his estate.
They walked to the barn and met Meg Winters and the already saddled horses. At first the children were overwhelmed by the size of the animals.
“He’s awful big,” Jeremy said of Sir Galahad, his wide-eyed gaze filled with wariness.
Nick nodded. “He’s really tall. I want to ride the little one.”
Jeremy nodded, still not quite sure. “You go first,” he said to Nick.
Nick shook his head. “You can go first,” he said with uncharacteristic generosity.
“Emily should go first. She’s a girl,” Jeremy said.
Emily shook her head and backed away. “I want to watch.”
Meg Winters smiled. “The horses look big, but they’re very nice. Come and meet Sir Galahad.”
Meg introduced the kids to the horses, allowed them to feed them apples and helped them feel more at ease. After a few minutes Nick was willing to try a short ride on the pony, but Jeremy was still reluctant.
Alisa wrapped her arm around the little boy’s shoulder. “Don’t you want to go for a ride, sweetie?”
“He’s so big. What if I fall?”
She gave him a reassuring squeeze. “We won’t let you fall. Would you like me to walk beside you?”
He nodded, and seemed to hold his breath as Dylan placed him in the saddle. Alisa led Sir Galahad for a slow walk in the field. After a short time she returned.
Emily’s little face was filled with a mixture of longing and fear. Dylan was whispering in her ear. She nodded hesitantly, then Dylan mounted the mare and Meg lifted Emily up to sit with him in the saddle.
“Emily’s riding with Dylan,” Nick said with excitement. “I wanna ride with Dylan.”
Alisa watched Dylan hold Emily securely in front of him, allowing her to hold the reins at the same time that he held them. He talked to her in a low, reassuring voice.
The image froze in her mind. On several occasions he had spoken to Alisa in that same reassuring voice when she’d been frightened. He had held her so many times. Her heart swelled in her chest. She wondered what Dylan’s children would look like. Would they be adventurous like him? Would his son drive all the girls crazy with his smile?
What would Dylan’s wife be like? she wondered, and found the very thought of him marrying hurt. Would his wife see past his wealth to the man he was? Her heart tightened in her chest. Why should any of this matter to her? Confused, she reminded herself that she certainly wasn’t the woman who could hold his attention, so she needn’t be thinking about it.
After the horseback ride, Dylan and Alisa took the kids swimming. The children were so active they had to watch them every minute. The kids played with Tonto, and Dylan grilled hamburgers for dinner. When the sun set they returned home. After baths the children were so tired they nearly fell into bed.
Alisa felt ready to fall down, too. She sank onto the sofa in the den and closed her eyes while Dylan got a beer from the refrigerator. She heard him return and felt him lift her feet at the end of the sofa so he could sit down.
“This is just the first day,” she said, surprised at how tired she was. “I can’t believe their little bodies hold so much energy.”
“And it was only a half day,” Dylan said.
“I’m trying to figure out how Amy was a teacher and then came home to take care of kids, too,” Alisa said in wonder. “But women in all kinds of careers do it every day. I’m surprised she and Justin didn’t move to a larger house after they got married.”
“They wanted the kids to feel secure, so they didn’t make any changes,” Dylan said. “I better hit the road.”
Alisa opened her eyes and stared at him. “You’re not leaving?”
He shrugged and took a swallow of beer. “You said you wanted to do this by yourself.”
Alisa pictured herself taking care of the kids with no help for the next three days and felt her stomach dip. “I might have been a little hasty.”
“Really?” He glanced at her with the ghost of a sexy grin. “Is that your sweet way of saying you need me?”
She took a breath and struggled with her pride. Sitting up, she drew her knees against her. “I’m conceding that in this case two adults are definitely better than one.”
“Even if I’m the other adult,” he concluded.
She threw him a dark look. “I suppose this is when I should tell you that you really surprised me with Emily today. You were wonderful with her.”
“With all my experience with females, I’m surprised you’re surprised.”
“I didn’t mean it that way,” she said. “You were very sensitive and gentle with her.” She paused as similar memories trickled through her mind. “It reminded me of how gentle you were with me when I was a little girl.”
She didn’t reach out to him, but she wanted to. He didn’t touch her, but she could see that he wanted to.
“You made it easy,” he said, and his words and the look in his eyes touched her. The moment swelled between them, brimming with shared memories and history and unspoken emotion. His gaze fell over her in what she’d almost swear was a longing way. She felt an echo of the same longing inside her.
“We were a good team today?” he said, knocking back the rest of his beer. He stood and strolled toward the door.
She nodded, strangely reluctant for him to go but unwilling to ask him to stay. “We were.”
“I’m going to bed,” he said, and met her gaze. “Remember not to think about me tonight. Remember not to remember,” he told her.
His admonition was like striking a match over a vat of gasoline. She was immediately consumed with memories of what it had been like to be held by him, to make love with him. Damn him, he wouldn’t stay in her neat little box.
It rained on Saturday, and Dylan watched as Alisa pulled out her bag of tricks. Books, games, finger painting and more books. When the kids grew edgy in the afternoon, she exchanged a look of desperation with Dylan.
“Television,” he suggested in a mock-serious tone. “With all this emphasis on reading, kids just don’t get enough television these days.”
She
chuckled and the sound warmed him. Dylan resisted the urge to touch her, but he was getting damn tired of resisting.
“I’m saving TV for when I have zero working brain cells left. Everyone, put on your old tennis shoes,” she said.
“What do you have planned?” he asked.
She smiled at him mysteriously. “Hey, when it comes to rainy days, I learned from the best.”
“Walking in the rain and stomping through mud puddles. Cleanup’s gonna be he—” He broke off when she shook her head at the swear word he almost used. The kids had big ears. “Hellacious,” he said.
“I’d rather have a tough cleanup than grumpy kids. But you can stay inside if you’re afraid of getting wet,” she said with a challenge in her eyes that made him want to haul her over his shoulder and carry her home. Someday, he promised himself. Someday.
Later that night, after dinner and a Disney flick, Nick and Emily drifted off to sleep without a problem. Jeremy, however, was still wide awake after the fourth book Alisa read to him.
“What do you usually do at bedtime?” Alisa whispered to the little boy.
“Go to sleep,” he said.
Dylan smothered a chuckle at the look of consternation on Alisa’s face.
“What do you do when you have a hard time going to sleep?” she asked.
“I listen to songs,” he said. “‘Kum-ba-yah’ and ‘Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”’
She bit her lip. “‘Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall’?”
Jeremy nodded. “Justin sings it to me.”
Alisa glanced at Dylan, and it took him a moment before he grasped the direction her female mind was headed. He shook his head. “Absolutely not,” he said in the most forceful whisper possible.
“But he’s used to a male voice,” she said, brimming with amusement.
“Lower yours,” he said.
“Just think of it as counting sheep for him,” she said, then added, “musically.”
Groaning, Dylan walked to the side of the boy’s bed and sat down on the floor. He looked into Jeremy’s wide open eyes. “I’m warning you I don’t sing very well.”
Jeremy patted Dylan on the head. “That’s okay. Justin can’t, either. That’s why I fall asleep so fast.”
With those words of encouragement and Alisa’s barely muffled snicker, he began to sing, if one used the term loosely, “Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall” and didn’t stop until he was down to seventy-three bottles. He watched Jeremy’s chest rise and fall with sweet, even breaths. Sleep, blessed sleep.
He glanced up to meet Alisa’s gaze and caught a tenderness in her eyes that made his heart stop. In that moment she was closer to loving him than she had been in eight years.
She finally looked away and he breathed again. Dropping a kiss on Jeremy’s forehead, she stood and nodded toward the door. They walked out of the room and after closing the door, drew a collective sigh of relief.
“I cannot tell a lie. I’m very impressed,” she said.
“You didn’t know I could sing,” he said, leaning sideways against the wall beside her.
She bit her lip. “I still don’t know you can sing.”
“You’re impressed that I know all the words to ‘Ninety-nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall,”’ he concluded tongue-in-cheek.
Alisa rolled her eyes. “No, I’m just impressed you did it. You didn’t want to do it, but he needed you to sing tonight.”
“It could have been a purely selfish move,” he told her. “Jeremy’s sleep equals Dylan’s sleep.”
She tossed him a skeptical glance and leaned closer to him. “Maybe, but I think it was pretty terrific of you to sing Jeremy to sleep.”
“How terrific?” Dylan asked.
“Very terrific,” she said. “Why?”
“Will you give me a good-night kiss if I finish ‘Seventy-two Bottles of Beer on the Wall’?”
Alisa looked horrified. “I’ll give you a good-night kiss if you promise not to sing ‘Seventy-two Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”’
“Deal,” he said, and lowered his head.
She turned her head and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Dylan didn’t say a word. He just met her gaze and stayed where he was. Her eyes glinted with an array of emotions: passion, longing, doubt. Oh, how he hated seeing the doubt.
Slowly she lifted her mouth to his and he knew this was the sweetest offering he could receive. She didn’t completely trust him, and that knowledge burned in his gut like a hot iron. But she wasn’t denying she wanted him.
Resisting the urge to claim and consume, he kissed her gently. He savored the soft texture of her mouth and just barely dipped his tongue across her silky inner lips. She swept her tongue over his, and again he forced himself to hold back. In the soft light of the hall he felt the door to her heart crack open. It was a fragile moment he was determined to handle with care.
He balled his fists to keep from touching her. His body clamored with the need to feel her against him, but he denied himself. Her soft sigh made him ache, but he rubbed his lips against hers once more, then pulled back.
He heard her intake of breath, and she licked her mouth as if she liked the taste of him. The erotic, involuntary gesture nearly sent him over the edge. “Good night Alisa,” he said, instead of throwing her over his shoulder and taking her to bed.
“G’night, Dylan,” she murmured, and walked away from him, leaving him with a longing that wouldn’t quit.
The following day the sun shone brightly, so Alisa and Dylan repeated a visit to his estate with horseback riding, a swim in the pool and playing with Tonto. Although the high activity level suited the children, Alisa could tell they were missing Justin and Amy. She began to talk about how they would need to get ready for their return on Monday by cleaning the house and perhaps baking some cookies. By nighttime the children had straightened their rooms and were primed to start baking in the morning.
Alisa read an extra story to Emily while Dylan sang again. Afterward she followed the sound of soft music downstairs and found Dylan in the den with two glasses of wine. His feet propped on an ottoman, he waved her into the room. “A toast,” he said, apparently anticipating her question. Rising, he brought her a glass of wine. “The kids survived and so did we.”
She laughed in agreement, and he clinked his glass to hers. Alisa took a sip of the cool, clear liquid. It was so good she drank it quickly and was surprised to feel a little buzz.
“More?” he asked.
She shook her head. “It was very nice, but I think one glass is enough.”
“I’ll only have two,” he said. “I may have to give an encore presentation. I sang down to eighty-three bottles of beer on the wall.” He set down his wine and stood in front of her. “Dance with me,” he said.
Off guard, Alisa didn’t know what to say. Her instinct was to say no. And yes.
“Just one dance,” he said. “I’ve always liked this song.”
He took her in his arms and Alisa tried to listen to the song over the beating of her heart. A woman’s pure voice floated over a guitar and mandolin singing about a love that was spoken more from action than words.
She fought the spell moving over her. She tried to cling to logic and good sense, but Dylan’s arms felt solid and secure around her. His scent was familiar in a wholly sensual way. She closed her eyes, and for a few moments the music and the man transported her away from pain, away from herself.
His longing for her hung in the air around them, reassuring her, seducing her.
“Come with me to Belize next weekend,” he murmured in her ear.
Surprise raced through her. She opened her eyes. “What?”
“Go with me to Belize. It’s a long weekend, and I want to be with just you.”
Her heart hammered in her throat. Another adventure with Dylan. She wanted to go. She wanted to be with just him, but a slice of doubt and pain cut through her. What if she trusted him and shouldn’t? What if she believed in herself an
d shouldn’t? Her chest felt tight and heavy, and she was filled with contradictory thoughts.
“I can’t,” she finally said, pulling back from him and hating that she was hurting him. “I could trust you with a million things. I wish I could trust you with me.”
Twelve
Dylan’s invitation dangled seductively in the back of Alisa’s mind. Even after Justin and Amy returned from their trip clearly refreshed and she and Dylan parted, Alisa couldn’t stop thinking about his invitation to go to Belize. When they were children, the invitation could have been to go stomping through mud puddles, but the idea was the same. Another adventure with Dylan. For Alisa he had been the ultimate adventure.
She wrestled with good sense and doubts all week. She deliberately made herself remember how terrible she’d felt all those years ago when she’d seen him with that college coed. For some reason, though, she was unable to hang on to the hurt and sense of betrayal quite as easily as she once did.
Friday arrived and she was still conflicted. She watched the clock pass the time he’d told her he would be leaving. Although he’d made it clear he wanted her to come with him, he’d also made it clear he was going with or without her.
She was nowhere near the airport, but she could see him boarding the plane and fastening his seat belt. The flight attendant would pay him extra attention, she thought with a trace of darkness. She could hear the roar of the engines and feel him soar into the air. Without her.
The phone rang and her heart raced. Maybe it was him? Alisa snatched it from the cradle. “Hello?”
“Alisa, darling, Mother, here. When are you coming home so I can see that you are totally okay?”
Alisa swallowed a sigh. She’d been in touch with her mother over the past two weeks since her mother’s return from Europe. Her mother had been appalled to learn of her accident and had wanted to visit Alisa to make sure her daughter was fine, but Alisa had wanted a little more time. “Soon, Mom. Maybe next weekend.”
“What’s wrong with this weekend? It’s Labor Day, after all, and I bet you have an extra day off on Monday.”
“I do, but I thought I’d avoid the travel headaches. How is Louis?” she asked, referring to her stepfather.