by Gina Wilkins
She gave him a fierce look. “It shouldn’t happen with you, either.”
“I think it’s too late to keep things from changing now.”
Kelly gave a despairing moan.
Shane twisted again on the couch, looking at her intensely. Too intensely, she thought, aware that her hair was still tousled, her lips still damp from his kisses, her cheeks still flushed from their passion. “Look, I know this isn’t something either of us expected to happen—but it has,” he said bluntly. “Why does it frighten you so much?”
“You never acted like this with me before.”
“Like what?”
“You used to treat me like one of the family. Now...”
“Now I treat you like a woman I find extremely attractive.”
She gulped. “That’s...”
He lifted his hand to touch her trembling lower lip with the tip of one finger. “Now I kiss you the way a man kisses a woman he wants.”
Her lungs convulsed. “Shane,” she said with a gasp. “Don’t...”
“There’s something happening between us. I know you feel it, too. Why does it frighten you?”
“Why?” She stared at him, wondering if he could really be that dense. “You have to see what a huge mistake this is. What a disaster it could be.”
“Why don’t you explain it to me?”
She made a sound of frustration. “We’re family! Maybe not by blood,” she added when he started to speak, “but my connection with Brynn has brought me into the family and I don’t want to lose that.”
“Of course not. And there’s no way your relationship with them will ever change. They’re all very fond of you.”
She leveled a chiding look at him. “Let’s be realistic here. You’re a member of the family. They’ve known you most of your life. I’m an old friend of your cousin, who has only been around for a little more than a year. If an unpleasant situation develops between us, I’m the one who’ll have to stay away so the others won’t be uncomfortable. You’ve seen what happened with Cameron and Amber, how awkward everyone acted around them the other night. How long do you think it will be before one or the other disappears from the group entirely? I don’t want to end up in that position with your family.”
“It’s not going to happen that way.”
“Does that mean this is never going to happen again?” She waved a hand to generally indicate everything that had gone on between them that evening. “We can go back now to the way it was between us before?”
Shane hesitated, then slowly shook his head. “I don’t think that’s going to happen, either.”
Frowning, she looked at him warily. “What do you mean?”
“I can’t go back,” he answered simply. “I can’t see you as a pal or a cousin anymore. Every time I look at you now, I find myself thinking about how beautiful you are. When I touch you, even by accident, I can’t stop myself from wanting to touch you again. And I can’t stop wanting to kiss you. Wanting more. I don’t know when everything changed. Maybe I’ve felt this way from the beginning and I just couldn’t pretend anymore. But I can’t go back.”
She gulped. “So what are you suggesting?”
“The way I see it, we have two options. We can stay away from each other—make an effort not to be alone together again, at least for the foreseeable future...or we can find out exactly where this leads.”
Stay away from each other? The thought of not seeing Shane punched a hole in her heart. He had become so much a part of her life that his absence would leave an emptiness she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to fill. That painful realization made her all the more aware of how very much was at stake with her reply. “How can we...find out where it leads?” she asked, using his words.
“I, er, don’t know, exactly.” He sounded uncharacteristically uncertain. “Maybe we could—you know—go on a date or something?”
“A date?” she repeated, twisting her fingers in her lap so tightly that her arms ached.
“Yeah. Maybe a movie. We’ve seen lots of movies together.”
But they had never considered their outings “dates,” she thought. Before, they had been two friends who simply enjoyed spending time together. Now, they would be going out as...what? Potential lovers? That possibility made her toes curl in her shoes. “I don’t...”
“If you aren’t interested, I’ll understand,” he assured her. “You won’t have to worry about my bothering you. I won’t kiss you again, either, if you ask me now to stop. Whatever happens, I don’t ever want you to be afraid of me, Kelly.”
She wasn’t afraid of Shane. But she was utterly terrified of the way she felt when he kissed her. So what she should do was politely decline his offer and make an effort to hold him at a safe distance from now on, even if that meant never being alone with him again.
But what she said was, “I suppose we could go to a movie or something—on one condition.”
“What condition?”
“No one else can know it’s a date,” she said firmly. “As far as anyone else will know, we’ll just be a couple of friends hanging out together for an evening.”
He frowned. “Isn’t that what a date is?”
“You know the difference,” she chided. “I don’t want anyone to know anything has changed between us—not our friends or our family. That way, if we discover that this is all a big mistake—which I’m sure we will—we can put it all behind us without anyone else being the wiser.”
“You mean you want to date secretly?”
She nodded. “At least for now.”
He thought about it a moment, then nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. It’s no one else’s business, anyway, right?”
“Er...right.”
“So, you want to call it a night, or should we head for your bedroom and find out where that leads?” he asked cheerfully.
Kelly choked and then glared at him when she realized he was teasing her. “That wasn’t funny.”
He grinned. “Okay, so we’ll start with a movie.” He pushed himself off the couch and headed for the door. “Tomorrow night at seven?”
She rose, wondering what on earth they were doing. “Fine.”
“I’ll look forward to it. But I won’t tell anyone,” he added, his blue eyes glinting now with his usual humor.
“Good.” She gave him what she hoped was a quelling look.
Shane left without another word. Kelly promptly collapsed onto the couch and hid her face in her hands. At least she knew she wouldn’t spend the night worrying about what to tell her father. She had more pressing problems to worry about.
A date with Shane? What had she been thinking?
Kelly felt like such a fool. Her bedroom looked like a tornado had swept through it, leaving piles of clothing in its wake. She must have donned and discarded half a dozen outfits, and she still wasn’t happy with what she was wearing.
She couldn’t believe she was acting this way over a simple movie date with Shane.
She was considering changing again when the phone rang. Maybe, she thought with a jolt of cowardly optimism, Shane had to cancel their plans for the evening. But the caller was Brynn. “Have you made a decision yet about your father?” she asked, having heard about the situation when she and Kelly had talked earlier that day.
“No, not yet.” She didn’t add, of course, that she’d hardly given her long-absent father any thought. She’d been much more preoccupied by worrying about her date with Shane.
“Would you like to have dinner with Joe and me this evening? We can talk about it, if you like.”
Keeping her tone very casual, Kelly replied, “Thanks, but Shane and I are going to a movie this evening.”
Brynn seemed to find nothing at all unusual about that. “Oh, that’s good. You need a night just to have fun, and you can always count on Shane for that.”
“That’s what he claims,” she said lightly.
“How did you do on your test today?�
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“It was easier than I expected.” Kelly was relieved that Brynn had changed the subject so easily. “How was yours?”
“I did pretty well, I think.”
“One more semester behind us.”
“Ain’t it great?” Brynn agreed.
Kelly eyed her reflection in the full-length mirror across the room. Her latest outfit choice was a snug-fitting, blue-and-tan striped sweater with khaki cargo pants and brown boots. Too casual? Was the scooped neckline of the sweater too low? Maybe she should put the black pantsuit back on, the one she had eliminated earlier as too dressy for a movie date.
“Kelly?” Brynn broke into her thoughts, sounding as if she had tried before to get her attention. “Are you still there?”
“Sorry,” she said with a wince. “Static on my end.” All between her own ears, of course.
“I’d better let you go. Shane will rib you if you aren’t ready when he picks you up.”
“Yeah. He’d be convinced I spent extra time on my appearance for him,” Kelly joked lamely.
Brynn laughed. “You’d never hear the end of it Have a good time, okay? You deserve a night out to relax.”
Though she couldn’t imagine this evening was going to be particularly relaxing, she said only, “Thanks. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
She groaned as she hung up the phone. What was she doing? She had just deliberately misled her best friend. What made her think she and Shane could get away with this?
Her only hope was that tonight’s “date” would turn out to be a one-time experiment. She wanted to believe they would realize very quickly that what they felt for each other was nothing more than a deep, caring friendship and that the sexual overtones they’d battled recently were only a temporary aberration. By the time this evening ended, they could both quite likely be laughing at how foolish they had been to imagine a depth to their relationship that simply wasn’t there.
And then her doorbell rang and her pulse rate went crazy and her palms went damp, and she wondered if she really had lost her mind.
She should have worn the pantsuit, she fretted as she made her way slowly toward the door. She’d dressed too casually. Would Shane interpret it to mean that she wasn’t taking this date seriously?
“You look great,” he said when she opened the door to him.
She was relieved to see that he had worn jeans, a denim jacket and a navy pullover with his usual Western boots. “Thank you.”
Shane smiled ruefully. “I’m glad you didn’t dress up. Would you believe I almost put on a tie? And then I realized how dopey that was since we’re only going to a movie.”
“How silly of you,” Kelly murmured, glad she’d closed her bedroom door so Shane couldn’t see the mess she’d left in there.
He made a face. “Yeah. Who’d have believed I spent ten minutes just trying to decide what to wear to see a movie? Dumb, huh?”
She cleared her throat, trying not to think about her own wasted hour and a half. “So what movie are we seeing?”
He named the latest big-screen blockbuster. “Have you seen it yet?”
“No, but I’ve heard it’s good.”
“It starts in forty-five minutes. If we leave now, we’ll have time to stand in line for popcorn before the film starts.”
A movie and popcorn. It sounded like a safe, pleasant evening, she thought. She and Shane had done this sort of thing dozens of times together, though usually with other friends along. There was no reason at all for her to be so nervous about it.
So why did her hands tremble when he helped her into her coat? And why did she have to take a deep breath for courage before she stepped outside with him?
She hoped they weren’t making a serious mistake.
Chapter Nine
Shane had never considered eating popcorn a particularly erotic act. But sharing a container of popcorn with Kelly in the darkened movie theater was one of the most intriguing experiences he’d had in a while. Every time they reached into the container simultaneously, every time their fingers brushed, a spark of physical awareness seemed to leap between them. Did she feel it, too?
Every time their thighs brushed, his insides tightened in reaction. Did she know what she was doing to him?
He’d thought a movie would be a fairly innocuous way to spend this first, experimental date. Something they’d done so many times before that they wouldn’t have to feel awkward about it. He hadn’t really given enough thought to how cozy and intimate a darkened theater could be, even with other people sitting around them.
He tried to follow the film, but the action on screen seemed bland and trivial compared to the much more interesting interplay between Kelly and him. Despite his efforts to concentrate on the plot, his mind wandered ahead to after the movie. What would they do then? Go out for coffee and pie? Maybe hit a club for espresso and jazz? Or he supposed they could go back to Kelly’s place for cocoa and...
He shifted in his seat as his mind was flooded with possibilities of exactly what he and Kelly could do if they were alone in her apartment. Possibilities that had been occurring to him with unsettling regularity for the past few weeks. He brought that line of thought to a screeching halt. He’d had a hard enough time talking her into a movie. Anything more—at least on this first date—would definitely be pushing his luck.
“Is something wrong with your seat?” she asked in a whisper.
“No. Want some more popcorn?”
“Shh,” someone hissed behind him.
Kelly giggled softly and reached into the popcorn container again. Her musical laughter made him smile—and then start fantasizing again.
They stopped for coffee and pie after the movie, Shane having decided that was the option least likely to get him into trouble. He noticed that Kelly seemed more relaxed now than she had earlier, and that pleased him. The dim lamp on the table between them glittered in her emerald eyes and brought out the gold in her hair. She was laughing as she recalled an amusing scene from the movie—a scene he didn’t even remember—and he found himself transfixed by the flash of dimple at the corner of her mouth.
“You really are beautiful,” he murmured. “Have I ever told you that before?”
Her smile promptly faded, to Shane’s regret. He shouldn’t have said that, he thought. He’d made her uncomfortable. But then he remembered that they were supposed to be on a date. That was the sort of thing she should expect to hear on a date.
“Umm...thanks,” she said. “So what did you think about the way the movie ended?”
“I didn’t pay a lot of attention to the movie,” Shane answered, suddenly feeling reckless. “There was someone much more fascinating in the seat next to me.”
Kelly’s cheeks flamed, making her look all the more attractive, as far as he was concerned. “Stop saying things like that.”
He rested his arms on the table and laced his fingers in front of him. “Why?”
“Well...because.”
He grinned. “Very illuminating answer.”
She gave him a sizzling look that only served to heat his blood a few degrees more. “You’re embarrassing me.”
“You don’t like being told that you’re beautiful? Has no one ever said it before?”
She rolled her eyes, as if wondering how she was supposed to answer that question. “It’s just not the sort of thing you say to me.”
“Not in the past,” he agreed. “Things are different now.”
She bit her lip, looking worried.
“I really do think you’re beautiful,” he said gently. “Does that displease you?”
“Well, no,” she admitted, suddenly shy. “Of course not. I mean...it’s nice that you think I’m...pretty—”
“Beautiful,” he corrected her, enjoying her confusion.
“Anyway,” she said quickly, her tone suddenly prim, “it’s always nice to get a compliment.”
“You’re right,” he agreed gravely. “So why don’t you give me one?”
She frowned. “I beg your pardon?”
“Everyone likes to hear something nice when they’re out on a date. Isn’t there anything in particular you like about me? Some reason you agreed to go out with me?”
Her cheeks were as red now as the Christmas decorations around them. “You’re asking me for a compliment?”
“I’ll take one any way I can get it,” he quipped, curious now about what she would say.
She shook her head. “Honestly, Shane.”
“Yes, honestly, Kelly. What do you like best about me? My charm? My wit? My big blue eyes? My sexy smile?”
“Well, it certainly isn’t your modesty,” she muttered, making him laugh.
“Well?” he prompted.
“You do have a rather nice butt,” she mused.
Caught off guard, Shane blinked. That was one answer he honestly hadn’t expected. Now he was the one with warm cheeks. “That, er, wasn’t exactly what I meant.”
She looked quite satisfied at having disconcerted him. “Hey, you asked.”
He frowned at her. “You agreed to go out with me because you like my butt?”
“It’s as good a reason as any, I suppose,” she mused, her smile almost feline.
“Anything else you want to mention?”
“Not at the moment.” She scooped the last bite of her apple pie into her mouth and pushed the empty plate away, looking rather smug.
Shane promptly fell a little harder for her. Kelly’s wicked sense of humor was another attribute that had always appealed to him. She had often been able to “zing” him when he least expected it.
As far as he was concerned, the evening was going very well. He had no doubt that if this truly had been a first date, this was a woman he would want to ask out again.
He drove his pickup slowly back to her apartment, taking a winding route that allowed them to admire the elaborate Christmas displays along the way. “Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?” he asked, to make conversation when she fell quiet as they got closer to her neighborhood.
“No, not yet. I was waiting until I finished my classes for the semester. I’ll hit the malls next week.”