by Abigail Keam
“You weren’t. Remember, I called you. It’s my fault,” I remarked. “But you should have left when I wanted you to.”
“You all figure this out,” muttered Shaneika, rising from the couch. “I’ve got to get to Baltimore for the next race in the Triple Crown. Let me know how this works out.”
“Thanks for letting us hold the bag!” shouted Asa after her.
“That reminds me,” June said to Liam. “We need to be in Baltimore too.”
Liam rose and helped June out of her chair. “All arrangements have been made, my Lady. Charles and Amelia are ready whenever you are.”
June turned to Asa and me. “You two lock up when you finish here. See you in a couple of days, Josiah. Asa, I hope you’re in London when I get back. Get that dreadful man out of your life once and for all.”
Asa rose and went across the room. Kissing June on the cheek, she said, “Thank you, Lady Elsmere. That’s sound advice.”
I sputtered, “I’ve been telling you that. How come June gets a kiss and I get the kiss-off?”
June laughed. “Oh, Josiah, it’s so easy to push your buttons. Stay well, my darlings. I love you both.”
Asa saw them to the door where Charles, Amelia, and the Bentley waited for them. She watched until the car went down the driveway and out of sight.
She found me in the kitchen with Bess, packing food in a basket. “Mom, what are you doing?”
“Bess is closing the kitchen while June is gone and we both are taking perishables out of the fridge, so they won’t go to waste.”
“Do you really need two pies?”
“I don’t have two pies. I have slices from two pies.”
Asa looked in the basket. “Look at all this ham. You’ve got country ham and city ham both.”
“No one said you had to eat any of this,” I replied while spooning broccoli casserole into Tupperware. “You’re just creating a fuss to avoid seeing Minor.”
“Minor?” said Bess sharply. “Is that rat in town?”
“You’re behind on your gossip, Bess,” I said.
“Must be. No one told me about Minor.”
Asa grabbed several oatmeal cookies as she went out the door. “I’m going. I’m going. I’ll get this settled with him for once and for all.”
Bess watched out the window as Asa left. “I hope she doesn’t end up shooting him.”
It just slipped out of my mouth. “Some rats deserve to die.”
It was then that I knew I needed to see Goetz again.
I needed to set things straight.
33
Goetz opened the door to his apartment. “This is a surprise.”
“May I come in?” I asked.
“Sure,” he replied, stepping out of the way.
I entered his apartment and sat in a chair.
“Can I take your coat?” he asked.
“No, thanks. I’m not staying.”
“Oh, I see. Are you going to tell me to get lost?”
“I’ve been thinking about what you told me and I wanted to assure you that is one secret I’ll carry to my grave.”
“That’s nice,” replied Goetz, taking a chair across from mine. “It would be hard to go to prison at my age . . . and a cop at that.”
Goetz’ face remained stoic, making it hard to read him. I continued, “I wanted to thank you for saving me. I am truly grateful.”
Goetz nodded. “It sounds like there is a ‘but’ coming somewhere in this.”
“You said that when Minor married Asa, you checked us out. Brannon and I were already in a rocky place then. I think that is when he started hiding money from me. Would you know where he put it?”
Goetz hesitated for a moment and then answered, “I might.”
I rubbed my hands together from sheer nervousness. “Brannon sold his share of his architectural firm and received five hundred thousand dollars. I never saw a penny of that money.”
“Is this what you came here to discuss? Money? What about us?”
“There is no ‘us’. There never was an ‘us’.”
“So what were we doing?”
“Two lonely people spending some quality time together. It was never more than friendship.”
“Maybe on your part.”
“I told you that I was finished with love and love was finished with me.”
“You never gave us a chance.”
“Are you going to tell me where Brannon stashed that money?”
“No,” he answered flatly.
“No?”
“No.”
“Why won’t you tell me?”
“You want to know why Jake really left?”
I shook my head. “I’m not here to discuss Jake.”
“Because for the longest time, you had Brannon’s ashes in your closet. Your closet! Then you have Brannon’s pictures all over the Butterfly . . . still. After all the crap he gave you, there are pictures of him everywhere. Who can compete with a dead man?”
“I loved Brannon. He built the Butterfly for me.”
“And took credit for your design and then made you suffer for his deception.”
“It wasn’t like that.”
Goetz shook his head. “Yes, it was, Josiah. Your faith in that man was completely misplaced and deep down you know it.
“Your daughter knew about Brannon. That’s one of the reasons she left after high school. She might not have known any of the details, but she knew there was something phony about her old man, and she didn’t want to be witness to it anymore.”
“That’s a lie. Asa loved Brannon.”
“Maybe, but did Brannon love Asa? Did he stick by Asa during the trial?”
I cradled my head in my hands, remembering that awful night when Brannon left me.
Asa’s life was being ripped apart. Brannon and I were drowning in debt and he took that moment to leave during dinner, taking my good jewelry, some of my couture dresses, and my dignity with him.
It only took Asa a few moments to discover that Brannon had drained our bank accounts as well.
Goetz was right.
Brannon had been an awful man–beautiful on the outside, but so ugly on the inside.
I just hadn’t been able to face the fact that I had been so gullible. Oh, over the years, I had come close to admitting it, but not really owning it.
Now the truth smacked me right in the face.
And there was no running away from it now.
But I was going to try.
34
I rushed to the door, but Goetz moved more quickly than I did.
He slammed the door shut.
I wouldn’t look at him.
“Don’t go, Josiah,” Goetz whispered in my ear. “Take a chance. Spend the night with me.”
He pulled me to him and kissed me softly on the lips, and then my face and neck.
I pushed away from him, but the man was incredibly strong.
Goetz held me tighter.
“I don’t trust you,” I protested.
“So don’t trust me,” Goetz whispered. He began to nuzzle my neck.
I’m ashamed to say that it felt nice. I’m ashamed to say that I raised my head to meet his lips. I’m ashamed to say that I returned his kiss.
I’m just ashamed.
35
I have only had three lovers in my life. A boyfriend in my first year of college. Oh my, how we fumbled with each other.
Then Brannon. He was already experienced. Even during our low points, I always enjoyed our private time together.
Then there was Jake. We were so in sync that being with Jake was a sublime experience. Jake was a drug for me–a big bag of painkillers. I actually went into withdrawal when he went away. I miss him every day, with every breath I take. It’s another kind of pain that I have to get used to.
Three? Just three. What about Matt? You know that Matt and I played that silly game where we acted like lovers just to give the neighbors something to gossip about.
Yes,
I did go to his house that night. And yes, being with Matt was my intention. I’m not making excuses for my bad judgment, but I was out of my mind. My regret is that I put Matt in a bind.
Oh, he tried to accommodate me, but it was a disaster. I started giggling at the absurdity of us together and after that, Matt lost his will or his nerve. I don’t know which.
We ended up in bed, watching old movies and I fell asleep with a bowl of popcorn on my lap and Matt snoring beside me.
Why have I let Franklin think differently all these years?
If you remember, I tried to tell him nothing happened. It was then that I realized Franklin would never believe the truth, so I lied and took the blame.
It was better to let him think the worst of me and then move on . . . which he never did.
But I deserved whatever Franklin hurled at me.
I was wrong to go to Matt. I know that.
As for Goetz, I’m not ready to go there yet.
I’m still very confused.
36
Minor was tired as he climbed into his rented SUV. All he wanted to do was go to the hotel, take a hot shower, and have a steak. He turned around to look over his shoulder so he could back out, but then uttered a small cry. “Mary, Jesus, and Joseph!” he snarled. “You scared the bejeebies out of me.”
“Aren’t you supposed to look in the back seat before you open your car door?” replied Asa.
“What do you want?”
“Let’s go somewhere we can talk.”
“You carrying?”
“The same as you, so that makes us even. If I had wanted to kill you, I would have done so by now.”
“Just talk?”
“Just talk.”
“Where?”
“Somewhere that we won’t be observed.”
“I prefer some place public.”
Asa pursed her lips. “I thought we had kissed and made-up.”
“Yeah, right. A little sex between us doesn’t smooth out all the wrinkles.”
“Don’t be such a drama queen. Let’s go.” Minor hesitated.
“I insist, Minor.”
Recognizing Asa’s steely tone of voice, Minor pulled out of the parking lot and headed for his hotel. He wondered if she wanted a replay of last week. If so, Minor was up for it. He enjoyed sex with Asa, but she could just as easily put a bullet through his skull. That’s what made her so exciting.
One never knew with Asa.
37
“Pull over here,” insisted Asa.
That was fine with Minor. They were on Short Street in the restaurant district. Lots of bright lights and people walking the street.
“Let’s get out,” directed Asa.
Minor parked the car, looking around. He got out and followed Asa to a bar where she sat in a café chair on the sidewalk.
“Sit down, Minor,” she said, after ordering two drinks.
Minor reluctantly sat in the chair opposite her. “Okay, I’m here. Let’s make this quick. I’m tired and want to go to my hotel.”
Asa brushed his concerns aside. “I think it’s time that you answered some questions.”
“It’s a little late for the truth, isn’t it?” Minor started to get out of his chair.
“Sit back down, Minor.”
“Why?”
“See that man over there?” Asa nodded toward a large man dressed in black, holding a newspaper in front of him. “He’s got a gun pointed at you behind that paper. Now, he’s not going to kill you, but shoot you in the leg. It will hurt like hell and be a huge inconvenience. You surely don’t want that.”
Minor eased back into his seat, staring at the man wearing black sunglasses.
“A shot will surely cause a commotion, Asa.”
“I’ll be walking away while people are trying to figure out why you are screaming for help as no one will hear the shot.” Asa leaned forward and whispered, “My friend’s gun has a silencer. If you try to run away, he will shoot. If you cause a scene, he will shoot.”
Minor looked around. Beads of sweat were faintly visible on his forehead.
“Don’t even think about running back to your car. It’s gone. Probably in your hotel parking lot by now, but out of your reach.”
A waiter approached their table and served their drinks.
Minor tried to get his attention, but failed. Resigned, Minor picked up his drink and took a sip. “Your guy?”
“Yep.”
“Well, it seems I’m a captive date. What do you want?”
“I want to know why you turned on me.”
“Ah, geez. Old history. Let it stay buried. We got a divorce, didn’t we?” Asa continued, “I trusted you. I believed in you.”
“You trusted me? You didn’t trust me. That was the problem,” Minor answered heatedly. “You got this bug up your ass about a few lousy agents and went flapping your jaws to the Washington Post.”
“They were putting people’s lives in danger. How can you condone their behavior?”
“You don’t listen. I never condoned their behavior, but you didn’t see the big picture. Everything is black and white to you.”
“You should have watched my back, Minor.”
Minor shook his head. “This is what you don’t get. You were on your way to the top. You were headed for the very apex of the organization. There you could have made a difference, cleaned out the corruption, fired the incompetent, but you didn’t have the patience to wait. All you had to do was keep your nose clean and your head down.
“Ten years down the road you could have made an impact within the department with no scandal, but noooo, you had to make a big splash. All over the newspapers. You think those guys are gonna take it lying down? They’re gonna come back at you and hard, baby.”
“How did they get you to put drugs in my car? Did they threaten you? Did you take money to throw your wife under the bus?”
“Let’s get everything out on the table. Is that what this is all about? Yeah, I put those drugs in your car. You were one step away from getting your head blown off. They were going to stop you one way or another.”
Asa’s face quivered with anger. “You shit. You almost got me sent to prison.”
“I saved your life, you stupid broad,” hissed Minor. “I was stalling for time. I knew that if I put you back in the national limelight, they would think twice about you having a fatal accident. By the time your trial was over, they had already been investigated and terminated from the department. They had nothing to gain by going after you then. They were disgraced, but you were neutralized. The score was even.”
“Not only did you ruin me professionally and tainted my reputation, you ruined my parents’ marriage.”
“Ruin you? You have your own international security company. You are called in on the most delicate and sensitive cases. I didn’t ruin you. I made you!”
Asa stared at Minor. “Why did you leave me?”
“You left me, remember. You accused me of putting those drugs in your car and said you never wanted to see me again. You wouldn’t give me a chance to explain.”
“That’s not how I remember it.”
“Of course not. You’re never wrong.” Minor stood. “I’ve had enough of this. I did what I did to save you. I was older, wiser, but you were always so headstrong, you wouldn’t listen. I told you that going to the Washington Post was going to open up a floodgate that you wouldn’t be able to close. I told you that your identity would be compromised and it was. I told you that everyone around you would be affected, and we were. Maybe when you’re older, you’ll understand. You’re still very young.”
He threw some money on the table. “I’m going to walk back to my hotel now. It’s a nice night for a stroll.”
“One more thing?”
Minor wearily sighed. “What?”
“Why did you go after Shaneika?”
“Purely selfish on my part. I wanted to see you.”
“Now that you’ve seen me?”
“Y
ou’re still the most beautiful woman I have ever known.”
“Did you love me, Minor?”
“Baby, I’ve never stopped.”
38
Boris put down his newspaper and walked over to Asa, watching Minor disappear around the corner. “You want me to follow him?”
Asa shook her head.
“You find out what you wanted?”
“I don’t know if I should believe him.” Asa brushed away a tear and laughed nervously. “I’m certainly my mother’s daughter–headstrong, self-righteous. I was so sure I was doing the right thing back then.”
“Now you not so sure.”
Asa looked at Boris. There was doubt in her eyes. “What if Minor is right? What if I was a fool?”
“He’s not right. You took a stand against evil, but the cost was more than you . . . how you say?”
“Bargained for?”
“Yes, bargain for, but that doesn’t mean you were wrong.”
Asa gave a weak smile. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Boris.”
“Let’s go to your mother’s house. I want to see big slobbery dog again.”
Asa brightened. “I know for a fact that she has lots of food. Mom cleaned out Lady Elsmere’s fridge.”
“Good. I’m hungry.”
As Boris and Asa started for his rented car, they didn’t see that Minor had doubled back and was watching them from across the street.
Minor grinned. Tell a woman she’s beautiful and she’ll fall for it every time.
It was just a matter of time until he got what he wanted from Asa.
39
I was selling honey at the Farmers’ Market when Goetz showed up.
“What kind of honey is this? Looks like water,” he said, holding a bottle up to the light.
“It’s Locust honey.”
“Why’s it so light?”
“The bees gather nectar from the Black Locust tree when it blossoms in May. The nectar turns into a honey that is light in color and very sweet.”