by Jas T. Ward
Reno blinked and took a step back in alarm, trying to gulped the feeling down. “Why pack? Where am I going? Look, I’ve done my job. I don’t think I’ve lost any humans and I kill every night. I don’t even take nights off because I need it as much as you need me to do it. If I’ve broken a rule just tell me and I’ll fix it. I don’t want to be taken offline.”
He whispered and his voice sounded like that of a scared little kid as he met the god’s eyes, squeaking out. “Or bounced.”
Reno hadn’t realized his retreat had continued as he spoke until his back hit the wall behind him. He had been so careful and made sure to obey all the rules as well as not take anything for granted.
Why was he going to be taken off the flow of Breakers? Where did he screw up?
Bounce could feel Reno’s panic mixed with fear so he stood and put a hand up to calm him, as he stowed his shades in his jacket pocket.
“No, Reno. You’re still in the system. But it’s time you were transferred. You’re off probation.”
Reno almost slid his ass to the floor in relief to find out he wasn’t being taken offline, and would have if not for the wall. But then Bounce’s words sank in causing him to give Bounce a frown in confusion.
“Transferred? Where?”
Bounce crossed his arms, leaned back on a heel, and said in a reserved tone, anticipating Reno’s reaction. “San Francisco.”
He blinked at the god’s words and frowned as his eyes drifted right then left and then a few more times both ways. That didn’t make any sense did it?
He brought a hand up to run fingers through soft brown hair that never even tried to lie down and always wanted to stick up everywhere as if giving away the mixed up brain it sprouted over.
His too blue gaze came back to look at Bounce and he had to close his mouth to think before he spoke. That was something he wasn’t always the best at but this was too important not to find out the right answers by asking the right questions.
“Jess still there?”
Bounce shook his head slowly as he looked away to answer. “No. He left shortly after you were made.”
That answer caused Reno to frown more than he already was. Maybe he always avoided the rosters of the other Breakers for that very reason. As much as he and Jess obviously hated each other now there was always that part that remembered when it was just the two of them, the only friend the other one had.
They had been closer than even brothers could be since they shared the same soul, the same head and the same heartache for so long. But that had ended. Maybe Jess found it easy to just move on especially since he thought his former split had been destroyed for the greater good. But Reno wasn’t sure if he totally had.
Lowering his head as his chin went to his chest to look at the floor, asked softly, “And her?”
That was the big one.
Emma, the beautiful Witch who had caused the end of his and Jess’ communion of destiny together, lived in San Francisco.
That one woman he loved. The only one he had ever been with. Sure he could have as much sex as he wanted and some of the Breakers were regular horn-dogs about it. Women loved the power the Breakers seemed to ooze, even if they didn’t know why.
He was constantly getting their attention with his easy going smile and goofy fun manner so he could have had a woman every night just like the rest.
But he didn’t because none of them were her.
Bounce swung his gaze back to him, the god’s eyes a cool almost ice blue which then darkened like the ocean at night. Gosh, Reno wished he had a chart to tell him what the colors in the god’s eyes meant. But there probably wasn’t such a cheat tool for they seemed to be ever changing.
Bounce looked away as he read Reno’s thoughts to pull out his shades and slid them on slowly as he spoke softly.
“You said you wanted a new life. One where no one, even her, knew who you were and did I not indeed grant that?”
Reno swallowed and nodded because it was true. He had been given the option and had chosen it. No one, not Jess, not Emma, no one knew who or what he used to be. Fresh start and one he had a say- so in. “I know. And I mean it. And yes, you did. But uh, is she still there? I just need to know. That’s all.”
Bounce hissed out a long breath through that perfect nose and nodded before answering. “Yes. She is still there. But Reno?”
The god stepped up and put a hand on his shoulder to look down at him. “There is much pain and heartbreak when it comes to Emma. And Jess. Much you may not want to know or even want brought up. And can you honestly hide the way you feel about her from her? From anyone? Because the feelings you have for her are bright as a spotlight at midnight when you speak of her. Trust me when I say it would be best if you left her alone. Stay away from Emma and out of her life if you truly love her.”
Okay, all that was probably true and most likely the best way to handle it.
But Bounce was right about how he felt. Even though it had been three years since he had last seen Emma or Jess, or even been to San Francisco, his heart still ached for her. He still remembered that the last time they had seen each other she had thrown him out of her house for breaking her heart. Sure, she thought he was Jess and probably was never told about the split he used to be, but the sight of her crying and heart broken still haunted him. He wanted to make her all better and fix whatever Jess had broken.
But while he wasn’t the smartest, he also knew that getting involved with her life opened up cans of worms bigger than those cans of cash he had hidden away.
Sighing, he nodded and pulled away from Bounce’s hand to walk over to the window to stare at the now pitch black Reno night.
Asked softly, “When do I leave?”
Chapter Three
Humans are Boring
Emma Devenmore heard maybe half of what the charming man who sat across from her at the dinner table had said. Not bad on the eyes, so much so that the rest of the restaurant kept darting looks at the striking man. But Emma just could not see what the rest in the place saw.
Sure, he was rich, charming, well spoken, nicely dressed and handsome as well as owned one of the top accounting firms in the city.
She seriously suspected he could get any woman he wanted and was doing charity work when her younger sister Lily had set him up on a blind date with her dateless ‘for far too long’ sister. But Emma found herself completely bored as she smiled and nodded toying with the expensive meal in front of her without taking a bite.
It wasn’t his fault, not at all. It was hers.
Because after you had dated an immortal, fang-baring, bad-ass tough, super strong and even sexier than any Greek wannabe god, Breaker, humans just seemed mundane and boring. Add to her still being heartbroken from her last long term, albeit just months, relationship, the guy really didn’t stand a chance.
She looked down as he took her hand and then glanced up to meet his eyes. Emma bet he didn’t even need those designer glasses but wore them to look more intelligent.
As a healer, she didn’t sense anything wrong with the man’s vision and she smirked at that. Vanity was something she never had tolerance for. The guy was losing points by the minute and didn’t even know he was being graded on a scale he couldn’t possibly reach.
“Emma? Didn’t you hear me? I would love for you to come back to my place.” He brought her hand up to his lips and she stiffened as he kissed her palm, and let his lips linger there.
She smiled and pulled her hand away gently as she looked around and back. How could she say this without coming off as total bitch?
“No. But thank you?”
Fail, for that seemed to have total ice bitch dripped all over it. His face and eyes showed it and it was easy for Emma to tell he was not a man used to being rejected. Ever.
He gave her a look of shock that affirmed that fact as he raised a brow and said with an edge of arrogance. “Why not?”
She smirked more as she toyed with bread on her plate, giving a shrug as s
he answered, lifting her eyes to his.
“To be honest? You’re boring.”
She stood up, swinging on her jacket as she pulled her purse off the back of her chair to look back at his shocked did-you-really face.
“And chances are? You aren’t any better in bed. Sorry.”
He just gawked as she walked out into the cool, fog dripping air of San Francisco. She could have handled that better, but she had just had no inclination to do so. She had been on three dates since breaking up with Jess and all three had the same outcome. Different men, indifferent feelings and wanting something more.
It wasn’t that she wasn’t ready to move on and even fall in love again. She ached for it. But no one felt right. No one made her feel like she did with Jess.
As she tied the belt of her coat to wrap it tight around her, eyes down to stare at the sidewalk under her shoes as she headed for the Bayside Park, she knew that wasn’t the total truth.
The whole time she and Jess had been together she had craved and ached for something then too.
The same feeling she had that first night they had spent together and made love for the first time. It had been so genuine and real, honest and the most emotional she had ever felt from the man with whom she spent almost five months of her life. The whole time they were together, she kept seeking that same connection and closeness she had felt that one night.
There were times when it seemed so close but always fell short. She knew it and sadly, so did Jess. But whereas it made her sad and long for it, whenever she voiced it or wondered out loud, it made Jess angry.
That never made any sense to Emma but every time she brought it up to discuss or even talk about it, it would launch them into an argument or screaming match.
Finally Emma had just given up seeking that sensation of magic and specialness of their first night together, and threw herself into loving what had come out of it.
But something never seemed right between them, no matter the love they felt for each other, and it finally had to be faced. They had tried so hard to stay together until the very end. But it had all been for nothing.
Well, not for nothing.
For one reason and one reason only, she was glad they had what they did. That one very precious thing was worth it all and she would never change or take back.
But even now, she still wished some nights, to just feel like she did that one night. Maybe it had been a dream, just like the one that repeated over and over in her mind as she slept. Maybe, it had all just been her imagination and she was a fool to crave something that wasn’t even real.
It was the scent of vanilla that hit Reno’s senses first, causing his head to snap up to stop him walking in his tracks.
Long dark hair, curling in the fog as it lifted in the breeze, around a beautiful face with eyes cast down so he couldn’t see.
Long legs in strappy heels below a sweet body he still remembered as clear as if yesterday. The memory of it and their night together were grounds for some hand to happy part, so many times. She was shrouded in a coat against the night and seemed deep in thought. But he didn’t need to see her face to know it was her.
Emma. His Witch.
Reno’s first instinct was to run and not let her see him until he remembered he was in a new body with a new face; there was no way she could recognize him.
He had been on patrol for Eaters when he decided a walk by the Bay would be a nice break from not finding anything to kill. Anytime he didn’t find any prey, his head would get buzzing like a thousand bees to satisfy the need for pain and violence. If it got too bad, not even candy would help and he would have to go home and do some damage working out, cutting his own flesh or hitting the wall.
Once again, his gift for bad decisions was making itself known as one of the two people whom he should really avoid was walking towards him and he was hoping she got closer, despite his logic telling him that was not a good idea.
Putting his head down as he shoved his hands in his pockets, turned his head to watch her walk by with a sideways glance with their shoulders just inches apart.
Closing his eyes, his nostrils flared to breathe her in and Reno’s body had the same soar of arousal it had with just a thought of her when he was alone.
He was so caught up in it that he didn’t realize she had stopped to stare at him. His eyes snapped open and he looked forward, licking his suddenly dried lips and telling his stupid legs to get moving when she said something soft and sweet.
“Do I know you?”
He did an internal wince as he kept his back to her but shook his head, digging his fingers into his palms as they fisted in his pockets.
There was no way she could know. No way had she known who he was then or now, because she never knew him at all. He had never really existed for her. But god, did he want to exist with her but it was a really, really bad idea. The worse idea, ever.
Reno wanted to say “yes, and I love you”. To tell her he dreamed of her every day and thought of her every night. But his common sense actually had its way. Maybe the only time it ever had or ever would.
“No.”
Emma stared at his back for the longest time, and for a minute there, though he knew his senses told him differently, Reno thought she had left.
He looked over his shoulder back at her with his blue eyes meeting her beautiful green ones and he lost his breath. God, she was just as beautiful as she had been going on almost four years since the last time he had seen her. His eyes darted to her lips without even asking his brain permission and he swallowed down a throat that was suddenly dry as if thirsty.
Emma had no idea why she felt some strange attraction to this man in the park who was a total stranger and she felt confused.
Maybe it was because he was good looking in an almost boyish way. With eyes that were a piercing blue which seemed to spark with so much more going on behind them. He was tall, but shorter than a Breaker with this unruly soft brown, wavy hair that didn’t seem to want to behave. Add to that broad shoulders, tapered waist and long legs which she bet he just owned naturally by good genetics and not days at the gym. Or hotter, more intense exercises that involved the bed, a kitchen counter or maybe a wall.
But there was something more beyond the physical attraction. Emma dealt with gorgeous men every day working for the Grid.
No, it was like Emma knew him and she knew that was completely ridiculously.
They were strangers and despite his quiet almost forced response of no, she felt like the answer should have been yes. She was even more baffled to realize she wanted it to be yes and knew that no was wrong.
They must have stood there for what seemed like hours when in reality it was only half a minute.
Reno turned away to face forward to finally get his feet to move as he walked into the fog, leaving her standing there to watch him go and had no idea how he had the strength to do it. Reno continued to walk away and he knew it was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.
Leaving Emma standing there, unable to move from the spot with a sense of panic to stop a stranger and beg him not to go.
Chapter Four
Oh, the Truth Thing?
Reno had always liked San Francisco. Well, from what he had seen of it being trapped in Jess’ head for so long.
It had long, hilly roads with so many of them ending at the Bay. The bay itself was beautiful and he really did love the fog that rolled over it at night and kissed the day in the morning. Well, he kinda had to bail when that part happened due to that whole going ballistic in the sun thing he tried to avoid.
But the nights were definitely more interesting than those in Nevada. Here there were so many Eaters that he rarely lacked for fun stuff to do when he went looking for it at night.
Like kill. Slaughter things.
Feed his need for violence.
Yep, his new assignment was great.
Mostly.
He had fought the urge to go by Emma’s house since that night in the park
and resisted the pull to check the private intranet, set up for the Grid, for all the latest news of both her and Jess.
And while Bounce had assured him that no one knew who or what he used to be, he was still feeling constantly paranoid.
Paranoid he was going to slip up. Paranoid he was going to show some signs that he wasn’t really what he appeared and was a freak. But mostly paranoid he would lose the one chance he had to have his own life.
So he stayed away from everyone including fellow Breakers, Relays and other members of the Grid.
Bounce pretty much left him alone because his kills of Eaters were off the charts and his survival rate of innocents was perfect. That was fine, because being alone he was used to and he couldn’t get in any trouble if he just did his job, went to his small apartment in Chinatown, and watched his toons until he passed out every dawn. Sure it wasn’t an exciting life and not very glamorous, but he was grateful for it.
His sleep had become an issue lately and he probably should tell Bounce, but he was paranoid about that too.
What if Bounce found him more hassle than he was worth? That a sign of one thing wrong would lead to another thing? Considering the experiment that was he was, what if Bounce decided to terminate him in a lights off, switch to no-go kind of way?
Nope. Bad dreams and whispers of some voice trying to tell him what he needed to do weren’t too much to handle.
Or so he kept telling himself.
He still slept with a light on, the dull glow of the yellowed bulb in the bathroom staying on like so many homes that held toddlers. Not a full-grown supposed bad-ass. But the fear of the dark was still very real to him. Sometimes he would wake up to think all of this was a dream, and to find he was back in the hole in which he had existed for so long.
But all of that, every bit of it he could handle.
Reno would do it without complaint and be grateful for it all. Yep, that was the total truth. Mostly. And if he kept telling himself, eventually it would have to be true. Right?