by Jas T. Ward
“Tell me about how you two are...? I know what Bounce told me but it sounds so unreal.” She laid her temple on Jess’ shoulder as she laced her fingers around his to say softly, “How are you two brothers?”
Jess sighed and squeezed Emma’s hand with his, as the other dug into his knee to focus once again on his boot tips, as he responded softly.
“I have no idea, Ems. It was when my pa kicked me out into the night. Firing at my feet to make me run into the desert after my ma died. And suddenly, he was just there. In my head telling me to run. He saved me that night.” He frowned as a deep crease made its way in his forehead at having to dig it all up.
“I was just a kid so I didn’t question as much and was glad to have a friend. To not be alone. Because I felt like when ma died that’s all I was. Alone and friendless.”
He sat back and wrapped an arm around Emma, resting his cheek on the top of her head. “He was nothing but trouble. See, whenever I got overwhelmed or hurt, he would be the one in charge. To handle all that. It was like the crazier and more violent it got, the stronger he was. And the less able I was to drive. He got us in all kinds of trouble. Some of it really bad. But he saved me more than I could count. But we didn’t get along well as we grew up. I wanted a good life. He just wanted bad. I guess because that’s all he could have and all he was allowed.”
“And that night?”
Jess had to think for a minute about what she meant with that and then play out a quiet whistle when he made the connection of which night Emma was asking about.
“I wasn’t there. At all. And I have no idea why he came out that night. I wasn’t hurt or in a fight. Sure, I was pissed to be stuck on an island, but that shouldn’t have been enough to allow him to drive.”
He put his head back against the couch and swallowed to say softly, “That night meant everything to him, Emma. He fell in love with you from that first minute I think. And I hated that. He wasn’t supposed to have anything good. Hell, from what I had figured, he wasn’t supposed to be able to even love. Or be tender.”
Emma curled up on the couch and felt the warmth of tears building in her eyes for what seemed like the millionth time. “That night was amazing.”
Jess snorted and Emma couldn’t help the laugh at that sound. “Sorry. But I think I fell in love with him that night, too. It wasn’t just the,” she stopped herself as Jess tensed and knew he didn’t want to hear about it. It had been a touchstone of pain through their whole relationship, “activity. But there was like a connection I only feel with him. Even now. I’m really pissed how I wasn’t told.” She punched him hard in the arm with her other hand. “But I miss him so bad. I’m really worried Jess.”
Jess nodded in total agreement. “I know. Funny thing, darlin. When Bounce decided to separate us, I thought it was a good thing. We hated each other because I had you and he loved you. It was getting intolerable.”
Emma looked up at him again. “That’s when you were getting hurt so much right? Before we broke up?”
He let out a soft chuckle as he nodded. “Yep. He was madder than a wasp in a jar that I had you and wouldn’t let him see you. So he took it out the only way he could. Got me beat up and bloodied at every opportunity.”
Emma listened and could hear the hint of fondness Jess had for Reno in spite of all the negative emotions. “Is that why Bounce did it? Took him out of your head?”
Jess’ jaw tightened as he clenched his teeth to grind his fangs. “No. I could have dealt with that. He took Reno out when Reno gave up.” Looked down at her to meet her eyes.
“He didn’t want to hurt anymore at missing you. At wanting you so bad but not having you. And when I broke your heart? He wanted me dead.”
Emma frowned and splayed her hand on his chest to feel that strong heartbeat under her palm. “He just gave up?”
She found that so hard to believe that Reno, with his easy smile, goofy mannerism and infectious wonderment, would ever just give up. “So it was done to save you?” It was all so unbelievable that her mind was having a very hard time making the check boxes fit.
Jess nodded. “Partially, I believe. I was going insane with handling all that Reno used to help with. But I think Bounce wanted to give him a chance. But,” he looked away from Emma to let his gaze go back at the floor, “he was told to stay away from you. I think we all realize now how useless that was.” He looked sideways at her and brought a hand up to tilt her chin to look at him and once again meeting her eyes.
“He loves you, Emma. I really think you two are destined. I hate to admit it, but I was just in the way. I’m sorry for that. But at the time? Well,” he sighed, “there was only one body. And only one man. But two totally different hearts. We both loved you in our own way. His was just meant to be. I feel awful about my part in all this. What a dumbass I acted like when I found out he existed. I thought he was done and gone. But truthfully? I was sad as Hell when I thought Bounce had just snuffed him out. I think I was angrier that Reno didn’t want me to know. It was like finding out your best friend, pissed at you or not, didn’t say ‘hey, I’m back in town wanna get a drink?’ Or even... ‘hey, want to kick each others ass?’ We were lied to, true. But I think I see why. I feel like a pile of horse crap for my part in how all this went down, Emma. I’m really sorry.”
Emma sighed as she brought her other hand up to wipe away tears from her eyes. She knew how hard all that was for Jess to say as he had always been a good man. A strong, heroic man, but he wasn’t a man who spoke his feelings, and saying he was sorry was not his nature. She nodded and whispered, “I know. We both really screwed that up. And he’s paying for it.”
Jess let all the air out of his lungs, as he found his fingers playing with a lock of her hair at her tender forgiveness. It felt odd for her to be like this, in his arms after so long and it felt good at the same time.
But as he listened to Emma talk, he knew her heart was gone and Reno had it. He felt really envious for that, but part of him was glad, too. “I need to tell you something else while I’m a blubbering fool. About Sophia.”
Emma turned to look up at him and held her breath as if she knew what he was about to say, but was afraid to hear it. “What?”
Jess sucked in a nose-full of air, nostrils flaring like a horse ready to bolt and then huffed it out like one that knew it was trapped. He couldn’t tell her everything because just voicing it would send it out to be picked up by some listening ear in the ether. And, as he looked down into her tear-filled green eyes, he knew he wouldn’t tell her the whole truth.
Emma had lost enough by losing her family and he feared she had lost the love of her life in Reno. He couldn’t tell her that her precious daughter, who might be all she had left, could be by all rights taken by Hell.
“I was scared. Too damn scared to acknowledge Sophia. You don’t know how strong that fear was. And now? I really think it’s best if the fact she’s a Breaker’s kid stays a secret. To protect her. But it the hardest thing I ever had to do was to walk away from her and you. It still hurts. I loved you so damn much.”
Emma saw the pain and grief in Jess’ deep brown eyes, which were so identical to his daughter’s that even a stranger could see. She had no idea what she expected him to say, but she thought there would be more than just that. But, as she met his eyes, she knew it was enough. Lifting up, she pressed a kiss to his lips as she cupped his face.
“I know. I forgive you. Now. Do you want to make it up to me?”
Jess nodded giving her a small smile. “Yes ma’am. More than anything.”
Emma put her forehead on his and said softly. “Then go find the man I love. Bring your brother home for both of us.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
The Plan Must Be Done
(Thousands of Years Earlier)
“Father!”
Epsilon looked up from the scrolls and orbs of source that were scattered on his desk, angered to be interrupted. The orbs glowed with power from the very source of creat
ion, and although they were precious beyond measure, they meant very little to him other than a reminder of what he wasn’t allowed prior. At least, not until the council was desperate for a solution.
As his son Kelion strode into his study, full of anger and indignation, Epsilon was struck by how much of his wife was in his son’s features, even now in rage.
“I am busy, Kel. Not now.”
His son bristled with indignation and grabbed a scroll only to toss it away. “What have you done? Why!?”
Epsilon considered that as he raised a brow at his son’s actions, propping a hip on the desk. “I have done many things. Which one thing exactly are you referring to?”
Kel leaned in to brace his arms straight and stiff on the desk, his fist pressed against the stone, his brilliant blue eyes meeting Epsilon’s brilliant blue eyes. Epsilon’s hair was pure white whereas his son’s was of his mother’s - a soft wavy brown. The father and son matched each other in height and size. Kel had yet to come into his full powers, so this show of aggression intrigued Epsilon since Kel knew all too well his father could bolt him through the wall.
“The powers. It was you that set one free.”
Epsilon could not stop the smirk that spread across his features as he leveled his son with a narrowed stare. “What are you talking about?”
Kelion didn’t hate his father, but he had given up trying to understand him, for Kel could not comprehend the wicked drives of the man who called him son. Kel’s mind did not function in such a manipulative aggressive way and his father most surely thought of that a weakness.
His whole life he had heard about the hate his sire had for both Heaven and Hell, but his father strove so hard to give an appearance of respecting the delicate treaty of the two realms. But Kel knew his father cared not for the treaty at all, but the opposite. Kel knew his father blamed both realms for the loss of his mother, but that was eons ago, and it was long past time to let that anger go. Kel also knew that was never going to happen For his father was too driven by greed and vengeance.
“It caused the darkness that is now poisoning the light of man and spreading like a plague within it. I know you found a way to enter the Void and return.”
Epsilon should have been proud that his son had somehow figured out the plans he had been so meticulous to cover, but all he felt was anger that one of his useless underlings had talked. That underling demon would not have long to live once Epsilon learned which one had spoken.
Leaning back to fully rest against the desk, Epsilon crossed his arms over his chest as he curled his lip at his son. “And just how do you know that, beloved son?”
Kel faltered as his bravado failed him and that did not go unnoticed by Epsilon. Ah yes, Kel was very much like Epsilon’s sweet late wife in so many ways. Tender hearted and so trusting, yet speaking without thinking when confronted. Not a single calculating or manipulative fiber of the father in the son.
Kel’s face twisted with concentration as he moved to stand away from his father, all of his righteousness faded.
That’s right, Kelion. Who’s the stronger of us two? Smart boy.
At times it disgusted Epsilon that his son was so weak in spine and tender of emotions. What a disappointment.
“I’ll tell Grandfather. I’ll tell the council. I’ll let them know how I know.” Kel looked at him sideways with his face set in a sudden determination and resolve. “They can then handle you as they see fit. I won’t let you do this, Father. I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Before Kelion made it more than five paces, Epsilon was standing behind him and wrapping an arm around his son’s waist. “I cannot let you do that Kel, my most precious son.”
Kel let out a pained gasp as the sharp dagger slid between his ribs to puncture his heart, blood flowing fast as the pulse of the organ tried to combat the crippling of its function.
Looking down, Kelion let out a strangled gasp of disbelief and sagged against his father’s hold and his legs gave out.
Epsilon gently lowered Kel to the floor to cradle him in his lap as he ran his fingers through his son’s hair, leaving streaks of Kelion’s blood in the soft, brown waves so much like Lyisea’s.
“I am sorry son. But this is for the best. They must pay for what they did to me. To your mother.” He brought his son up to kiss his forehead and then lay his cheek there against his son’s now clammy, chilled skin as death claimed the flesh. “And now for what they have made me do to you.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Lost
Reno could no longer function and was no longer trying to figure out why, for his mind couldn’t do that either.
For the last two days he had tried to find his way home. But his head seemed to have forgotten how to get there. It was full of so much noise and confusion that Reno was now reduced to curling up in the dark of a foreclosed bread store.
The sound of traffic as it passed by the place even seemed surreal and alive, as if dragons or some other mystical creature had evolved from the metal inventions they actually were.
Each shadow seemed to swirl and talk to him, as if beckoning him, despite the reason that told him that wasn’t possible.
He rocked in his fetal curl and couldn’t seem to wrap his arms tight enough around his head to make it stop hurting, begging it to ease. His stomach hurt as if razors were slicing through his gut, and he felt the need to hurl again, even though he hadn’t eaten in days. It hurt too much and it did no good. He felt like he was starving.
Sundown was screaming in his head, but he wasn’t capable of understanding his dark side anymore than he could figure out all the other chaotic, nonsense noise in his skull.
He wanted to go home so bad; he wasn’t ashamed to admit he had cried about it like a child and sobbed out Witch’s name. But he couldn’t remember how to get there and now was too sick to try.
Reno knew he had screwed up by leaving, but he was pretty sure no one had wanted him there. He knew they still might not want him around, but maybe if he could get home he could explain to Witch and she could hold him and make all the bad go away. He didn’t think he could survive if she rejected him again, but it was a chance he was willing to take, as there was no way he could survive this way. Not without her.
Only her touch seemed to soothe him before so he just knew it would do the same now. Make him whole again and feel right.
If he could just get home.
The helpful voice hadn’t said anything more and he was beginning to think he had imagined that. Maybe, but part of him knew it had been real.
But if so?
The promised help of it had not manifested itself. He was worse off than ever.
Lifting his arm to look at the veins, he felt another wave of nausea as he saw how pale white his skin was and how dark the blood was that ran under it. He knew it was black, with no red, as he had no choice but to stare at it as it splashed onto the floor as it exited his body, as if making sure all the red was gone, and only leaving darkness behind. It was as if the red had been evicted and the black was the new tenant. And apparently he wasn’t doing a good job at being a landlord because it was not a happy occupant of the space.
Pushing himself up weakly to sit, he wiped a hand across his lips and slowly got to his feet, with his hand having to brace on the floor to do so. His limbs felt like weak rubber as they all shook with tremors, causing him to stumble.
It had begun raining and he thought maybe it would be warm as he felt so cold. Stepping out of the bread store, through the busted plywood that had once been placed to cover the back door, he wrapped his arms around himself and tried to remember where in the city he was.
Witch lived near the bay so he lifted his eyes with a groan of pain to look for the one thing that would be a beacon to the haven of home he craved so desperately.
The Golden Gate Bridge.
“Your Highness?”
Epsilon was lost in thought as one of his Eaters approached him in the small coffee shop in the affluent area of the
city. He normally hated being disturbed when he was topside as Earth was such a solace after the chaos of hiding from his father in the bowels of Hell. Not that the dark lord wished to confront his son, but others might on his father’s behalf.
“What?”
The Eater kept its eyes down as it sat across from him to hiss. The demon’s human form looked like that of a young college man, complete with glasses that were useless as the demon’s had perfect predatory eyesight. “We sighted the one you seek.”
Epsilon had the coffee mug within inches of his lips when the Eater spoke, causing him to stop its ascent at the words. “The freak?”
The Eater nodded. “Yes your Highness. The one the Grid seeks, but we obeyed and did not confront. We only tracked. It is easy your Highness, for he is very dark, so easy to follow. He is not far.”
Epsilon slowly set the coffee mug down and closed his eyes. He let a slow smile spread across his lips for finally there was something to escalate the war where he needed it to be. Opening his eyes to look at the demon who kept his gaze averted in respect, he said with a greedy hiss. “Good. Tonight the freak is mine.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Just a Pawn, Nothing Personal
Epsilon was impressed with the dark energy that came off the man, who stumbled as if drunk down the quiet San Francisco street, having to grab parked cars and light poles to even walk. To the human eye it was just another piece of homeless, human garbage skin bag that needed to be either locked up or drowned in the bay.
But to his senses it was a unique being never seen before.
No wonder the Grid couldn’t pin-point its rogue Breaker; the Grid ran on light and this man was anything but. But how, was the puzzle to Epsilon’s brain, as not even he, or Lucifer, could pool so much power on this realm as to darken the Grid.