by Cole, R. D.
When I arrive I see his truck sitting in the driveway and start to panic. Deep down I was hoping he’d be gone and I wouldn’t have to ruin this relationship, but he’s here and this has to be done. I can do this. I can tell him this whole thing was a big mistake and walk away before our friendship is completely fucked. If he’s determined to help me that’s fine … but only after the baby is born, when my libido has calmed down. I can do this.
I get out and zip up my North Face jacket after I lock my car. The sun’s down and the temperature has dropped so low my breath looks like smoke surrounding my face. Counting to ten, I try to calm my nerves. I see a few groups of people in one of the apartments across the way but they pay no attention to me. Thank goodness.
After I reach his door, I just stare at the 2B metal plaque for what seems like forever. Thoughts of our first meeting invade my brain. He looked so cute standing there with his hand out, holding my ID. I introduced myself and asked who he was but no words formed on his lips, only continuous gulping. I thought about calling security for either an ambulance or to haul his ass away, but finally he said “hi” and dropped the ID before turning and leaving me totally confused.
I shake my thoughts away and wipe the smile from my face. Finally, I knock and wait. No answer. I decide I’ll knock once more but if I still get no answer I’m leaving.
“Coming!” I hear him yell on the other side of the door and my heart drops knowing what I’m about to do.
When he opens the door I’m speechless and feel my plan falling down the stairs. He’s standing in front of me wearing only a pair of blue plaid pajama pants and looks fucking delicious. I see he has a toned body and a six pack that has my insides clenching together. Finally, I glance up at his face to see that his hair is in disarray from the towel in his hand. He must have just jumped out of the shower. Oh my God! Naked Mason is all I see now, and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning out loud, but I’m purring on the inside.
He finely speaks and his voice caresses my skin because the sound is so low and deep. “Jazz. What are you doing here so late?”
I can’t answer because the reason I’m here doesn’t exist anymore. The only thing that exists is the power surge that runs between us. Taking a step in his direction, I unzip my jacket as I cross the threshold. My eyes remain glued to his, and I watch in amazement as his pupils dilate to overtake the dark shade of green. I throw my Jacket on the floor and press my chest to his stomach because I just have to be close to him. I need to touch him right now in a way we’ve never touched before.
His hand reaches over my shoulder and he leans into me to shut the door I left open. Then he places his hand on my shoulder and gingerly moves it up to my cheek where he leaves it and stares at me intensely. His touch is different than I expected. It’s better. I push my face into his palm and smile at him because I feel calm and happy for the first time today.
His thumb rubs my cheek softly, and he returns my smile while wrapping his other hand around my waist. “What?” he whispers.
My smile widens because I see both Masons together in this moment: the cute, innocent one as well as the powerful sexy one. It’s intoxicating and I feel myself getting lightheaded.
“Nothing.” When he doesn’t make a move, I have to ask because I need to be closer. “So are you going to kiss me or make me wait all night?”
I see dimples form in his cheeks so I place my hands hesitantly on his naked chest. It burns under my palms, but as they glide over his smooth skin I see him shiver.
I know it’s from me and not the cold, but I ask anyway. “Are you cold?”
“No. I am so far from it, Jazz.” The whisper and smile leaves his face and the innocent Mason dissolves and leaves only the one that speaks with a raw voice that matches his stare and causes my knees to buckle. “I’m so fucking turned on and hot right now. And it’s all because of you.”
Then he kisses me for the first time and I feel like an expensive chocolate being savored. I could get used to this.
I hear my alarm and curse at the damn thing. It always goes off while I’m having the best dreams. Last night’s was more like a fucking fantasy—Jazz coming over and kissing me. I lick my lips trying to play it out a little longer. I don’t want to get up but know I need to. Besides, the dream is gone and I can’t get it back.
I go to move and feel something weighing me down. Slowly lifting my eyelids, I see golden hair all over my naked chest and my heart accelerates. Holy hell! It was real and she’s here. Asleep with me. In my bed. Leaning my head back, I gingerly bring my hand to her golden mane and move some off her face. I smile when I see her button nose and puckered lips. She’s even drooling on me, but I couldn’t care less. Damn, she’s beautiful.
As I watch her, last night plays out in my mind—Jazz coming over with red cheeks from the cold, advancing on me, and then finally kissing her. Man, I wish they made bubble gum that flavor. Well, maybe not. Because everyone would taste it and I feel selfish. No. I’ll just kiss her and taste her that way instead. The taste of her drives me wild, but so does her softness. The pouty lips that pressed against mine, the softness of her skin when my hand rested on her waist.
I yawn and feel the soreness in my jaw, laughing. I can’t remember kissing someone for so long it caused injury. I mean we kissed everywhere last night: the kitchen, on the couch, and finally ended up in here. But that’s all we did. Well, I did feel her tit over her shirt but that’s it.
“Mason? I’m home.” Mom yells and taps my door.
Shit! “Hold on,” I yell as she opens the door to show me her pale shocked face. Jazz jumps up looking around groggily before she stretches. My eyes watch hypnotically as she arches her back, and I notice she’s still fully clothed. Thank you, Jesus. However, it is still causing me to get aroused. I lick my lips and my eyes flick back to my mother, who seems more pissed now than shocked.
“Mason Alexander, can I see you?” Mom asks sternly and shuts the door.
Taking a breath, I scrub my face with my hands. I feel the bed shift and see Jazz looking around the floor. “Hey, you don’t have to go.”
She looks up and uses her fingers to move the hair out of her face. It falls right back, though, and I smile. “Sorry, but yes I do. Your mom seems pretty upset. I don’t want to be here when the shit goes down.” She grabs her shoes and sits on the bed to put them on.
I sit up and slide my body behind her to whisper in her ear. “Stay. I’m a big boy. She’ll get over it.” I take her earlobe in my mouth and nibble before I start working my way down her neck. She tilts her head, and I feel the chills along her neck with my tongue.
“Mason? I really need to go,” she says breathlessly. She stands quickly and shakes her head like she’s attempting to clear her brain. “Look. We need to talk but not here. Why don’t you come to my place tonight? I’ll cook and we’ll talk then. Okay?”
At least I know I’ll see her again, but I still hate ending this … whatever it is. “I’ll have Grace.”
“Good. Bring her. She’s really great.” She walks to the door and grabs the handle. I think she’s listening for my mom at first, but then she huffs out a breath and walks toward me. “Fuck it!” She grabs my face and gives me another taste for a few short seconds before she releases me and runs out the door.
After I pinch myself and go take a piss, I walk in the kitchen yawning. I see Mom has coffee brewed so I walk over and fix myself a cup. She hasn’t looked at me or said anything, so I know she’s pissed. She waits for me to sit down before she starts. “Mason, I know you’re almost twenty-one and not a virgin, but I would appreciate if you’d keep that part of your life away from your sister and me.”
“Mom, we didn’t do anything besides kiss. I know better than to take that chance with Grace here.” I lean back in my chair and take a long sip of my black coffee. Bitter and hot. Perfect.
“So her waking up in your bed was nothing? Do you really expect me to believe that?” I can hear the sarcasm in her voice
, and I’m starting to get pissed. She never cared when Chanda and I were together, so why bust my balls about Jazz?
“Yes, Mom. I’ve never lied to you before. Why would I lie about something like sex?”
“Um, Mason, I don’t know. Maybe because I just found out a few weeks ago out of nowhere that I’m going to be a grandmother. I didn’t even know you were dating anyone. Besides that, I was sure you and Chanda were getting close again.” I see her blue eyes start to build with unshed tears and my anger vanishes.
I never realized that my decision to put myself in Jazz’s life would affect my mom like this. When I mentioned it, I knew she was shocked but I figured by now she would have adjusted to the idea. I get up and go embrace her frail and overworked body. I never wanted to add to her grief. I only wanted to prove myself worthy of Jazz.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was bothering you so much.”
She sniffles and pulls away to pat my cheek. “Of course it affects me. My baby boy is going to have a baby. I’m only thirty-seven years old. Plus, I don’t even know this girl who’s going to have my grandchild. She’s so different from us.”
I exhale and smile. I’m glad her worries are easily fixed. “Well, that can be mended. Why don’t we have her over for Christmas or maybe when you’re off next? I’m sure Jazz wouldn’t mind. We could go out and grab something or I could cook. I’m sure once you really get to know her you’ll realize she’s not so different.”
She returns my smile and dries her eyes that have permanent dark circles under them. I wish she didn’t have to work so hard. I can’t wait to finish college and get a job to help her retire early, or at least quit one of her jobs.
“Okay,” she whispers and stands up. “I’ve already spoke to Terri about my schedule for the week after Christmas. We can do something then.” She comes and kisses my forehead. “I’m going to take a shower then go to bed for a few hours. Love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.” I watch her walk down the hall and finish my coffee. I reflect on every moment of last night and then of this morning. What did Mom mean about Chanda and me? She is so wrong about that, but I won’t worry about it. I get up after my coffee is gone and head back to my room for a bit before Grace wakes up, desperate to smell the lingering scent of Jazz’s perfume.
Excitement to see Jazz tonight makes the rest of my day pass by incredibly slow for some reason. I hold on to Grace with one hand and with the other I have a bag with some eggnog and some red poinsettias. Since Christmas is only a week away flowers are hard to find, and I know Jazz loves eggnog. Well, she did around Thanksgiving.
I take a deep breath and knock. After a minute she opens the door, and I smell something delicious and I know it’s whatever she’s cooking. She looks great, too, wearing a pair of worn jeans that have a tear in the knee and a pink off the shoulder sweater. Her hair is up in some kind of ponytail, but I can tell it took time to fix, It’s not a quick hairdo like my mom usually wears. A few strands of white blonde hair frame her face and her bangs are clipped to the side. Man, she sure is pretty.
My ogling is interrupted when she quickly rushes back toward the kitchen and yells for me to come on in and get comfortable. I walk in and see Jazz running around everywhere in the kitchen. Pots and pans are piled in the sink and shredded cheese is scattered on the counter. To look so confident a moment ago, she sure looks like she’s in complete chaos in the kitchen. I sit Grace on Jazz’s new black suede sectional decked out in zebra throw pillows and a blanket lying on the chaise. Looking around I notice the sonogram picture in a black, beautiful picture frame hanging on the wall to match the other photos. She’s also placed a huge, black, oval mirror above the fireplace. Black curtains trimmed in white surround the patio door. She’s been a busy bee.
I place the bag on the black, round table that sits in the small dining area across from the kitchen. Looking around I see no flowers decorating her apartment and feel relieved. I definitely don’t want to overload her with flowers, but I really wanted to get her something. Grace watches the large flat screen TV that already has Mickey Mouse playing. Jazz seems to know Grace already, and I smile widely while I turn my attention back to her in the kitchen. I don’t know what to do now that she’s in front of me. I’ve thought about it all day. Should I just go up and kiss her like I want to, or should I offer to help? Maybe she’s like my mom and hates help in the kitchen. Shit! I can’t just sit here. I stand up and take the eggnog and flowers out of the bag to place them in some water and pour a glass.
“Hey. Would you like some?” I hold up the eggnog and smile her way as she stirs something in the pot.
She glances and her eyes light up. “Heck yeah I do. The glasses are above the sink.” She concentrates again on what she’s cooking.
I clear my throat because I still feel out of place. “So what’s for dinner?” I ask while taking two clear glasses out of the cabinet.
“Well, pretty much the only thing I know how to cook that will actually taste good. Spagebbi.”
I take a sip of the thick cream and try not to choke from her answer but end up spitting eggnog out of my mouth. “Huh?” Starting to laugh, I see her reaction to the eggnog all over the floor and laugh harder. “Did you mean spaghetti?”
She starts to laugh as well and grabs a towel. “Nope. It’s spagebbi for me. Always has been, always will be. It will be this child’s favorite meal, just like it’s mine.” She bends over to wipe up the mess and lucky me gets a nice view of her ass.
I turn quickly when she glances at me and smiles. “Um. Sorry.” I can feel the heat crawling up my neck and face. “It will still taste the same right? I mean, I’m not going to find cheerios or anything else a toddler might mix in their food right?”
“Yeah, actually. I just added the gummy bears so we should be about set.” I turn and see her eyes smiling while she takes a sip of her eggnog. “I’m joking, dumbass. It’s just plane ol’ sauce with mushrooms and onions. But I do add a touch of bitters to it. It’s something my mom taught me. Adds a little tang, which I know for a fact you like.”
I feel myself relax again and smile. “Well, that I can handle. But what the hell is bitters?”
“It’s a strong type of liquor.” She must see my concern of her drinking. “Don’t worry I only add two tiny drops and the alcohol is cooked out of it.” Needless to say I relax.
After we eat and Grace is occupied with her keyboard in the living room, Jazz and I stay seated at the table. I know it’s about to get serious. My hands get clammy while my nerves make their appearance. I’m positive my stutter will appear like it always does in tense situations. I’m terrified that last night was a onetime deal, and I seriously think I’ll go fucking insane if that’s the case. I mean, she’s like my drug now and for her to just take it away after months of wanting will kill me. Taking a deep breath, I sit and wait for her to begin.
Sitting across from Mason I feel like a nervous wreck. When I left his apartment this morning I was a nervous wreck. When I went to the grocery store I was a nervous wreck. So basically I’m an apprehensive pregnant woman who is about to either ruin this relationship or take it to the next level. I’ve been thinking of what to do about the situation all day and it always leads me back to the thing I never thought I would do.
“So, Mason …” I lick my suddenly dry lips and nervously tap my food under the table. “About last night and this morning ... I hope you don’t think I’m someone who does that all the time because I am so … so … so not.” I pause to gain courage before continuing. “I wanted to ask you if you had any reservations of maybe doing it again and maybe we could actually do more. You know what I’m saying? Maybe you don’t because you haven’t said anything since I started talking. Okay, well, what I’m trying to say is how about we become … I don’t know … friends with benefits?” I take a much need breath because I was talking too fast while I examined the plum colored polish on my nails. When I finally bring my eyes up to stare into his wide green ones,
I notice he’s just staring at me with his mouth open. A mouth that definitely knows how to kiss and suck and … and … Shit! I feel myself start to blush from embarrassment. Maybe I read him wrong. I know he’s different from other guys, but I thought every guy wanted to have a purely sexual relationship with no obligations.
He blinks and shuts his mouth. “Um. Wow!” He takes his hand and rubs it up and down his face, which causes his hair to turn into disarray. So sexy. “Did I just hear you right? Did you say that you want to be friends with benefits, or did I completely misinterpret your very fast speech?”
“Yes. That’s exactly what I said. Since you are the father...” air quotes “...I figured why not? This way we can have our cake and eat it too. But if you’re wanting it I have to tell you that there are rules.” I sit up straighter and look into his dark green eyes as he stares intently at me. “We only sleep with each other. If for some reason you want a relationship with somebody else, can you please tell me beforehand?” I ask this and hope the small amount of jealousy that courses through me doesn’t show. I don’t know why it bothers me because I don’t want a relationship with feelings and the crap that can cause pain. I smile and wait for him to agree.
What if he doesn’t agree? What if I just made myself look like a slut or some nympho to a real good friend? I mean, I’m definitely not either one, but lately I’ve been so fucking horny it’s scary. Some days I feel like humping my bedpost. Even masturbation isn’t cutting it these days.
Finally he speaks while leaning back in his chair, crossing his arms. Dressed in one of his infamous black logo T-shirts and jeans, he looks yummy. “So you only want sex?”
Do I hear some disappointment in his voice?