Learning to Heal

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Learning to Heal Page 23

by Cole, R. D.


  A few days later I’m back at home getting Fin ready for her checkup with her pediatrician while Mason is in class, and I hear a knock on the door. Picking her up off my bed, I walk to the front and look in the peephole. The person on the other side is a complete surprise to see after all these weeks of no word. I debate on even opening it, but I know Mason would want me to.

  Chanda stands on the other side, but she doesn’t look the same as she did the last time she showed up. Instead of the busted lip and black eyes, she looks good, happy even. Her hair has grown out past her ears and she’s not running around half naked. She’s wearing some khaki capris and a plaid button down. “Hey, Jasmine. Sorry to bother you. Is Mason here?”

  I still don’t like his name coming out of her mouth, but I know they used to be good friends. “No, he isn’t. He’s in class and won’t be back for a few hours.”

  “Good. I really wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?”

  Surprised and wary, I think about it. She seems harmless and actually nice, so why the hell not? “Sure. Come on in.” I lead her into the living area and place Fin in her pack ’n play that sits against the wall. “Mason and his mom have been worried sick about you. Where’d you disappear too anyway?” I sit across from her on the couch.

  She smiles and shrugs. “Well, I needed to get away so I moved in with a friend. But that went to shit …” She stops and covers her mouth. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to cuss in front of the little one. What’s her name?”

  “Finlee. And it’s fine. She doesn’t repeat words yet.”

  “Oh, that’s a nice name. Different. Well, anyways, I ended up meeting someone. He helped me see that I’m more than the life I was living and could do better. I’m even enrolling into a GED program.”

  “Wow, Chanda. That’s great. Mason and Brenda will be happy to hear that.” An awkward silence falls between us. We’ve never been friends, so I really don’t know what to say to the girl. Might as well get to why she’s here. “So what did you want to talk to me about?”

  She nervously tucks her hair behind her ear. “Well, I wanted to apologize for being a major bitch to you in the past. It’s just Mason has always been my way out of this shitty life I have. I knew he’d do amazing things one day and would get out of the low class hole we grew up in. And I wanted out. And I thought he’d always be in love with me and take me with him. He was my future ... until I met this other guy of course.” She smiles but it seems forced. “So since I’m in a better place I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for loving Mason like he deserves and not using him like I was. Oh and congratulations on the upcoming wedding.”

  The girl in front of me is saying the right words, but I can’t fight the feeling she doesn’t mean them, that they’re practiced. Maybe it’s because she has caused Mason and me so much drama throughout our relationship that I’m not ready to believe her. My phone ringing from down the hall and breaks through my musings.

  “Shit! I’ll be right back.” Back in my room I spot it on my bed and see it’s Mason. “Hey you.”

  “Hey, baby. How are my girls?” I’ll never get tired of his voice or the way it can change from sweet to feral in a second. Thoughts of last night surface, but I quickly shake it off. Not the time for a replay. I close my bedroom door so Chanda can’t hear our conversation. Apartment walls are thin. When I tell him of my visitor in the living room he sounds just as surprised that she’s here. He’s really stunned when I tell him about her apology for being a bitch to me and what she did. I don’t want to let her take up our whole conversation, so I change the subject to tonight’s plans with Jax and Tru. We try to get together a couple times a week and have game night or go to the movies if Brenda can watch Fin. After we hang up I head back in the living room.

  I start down the hall and notice Chanda is no longer on the couch where I left her. “Sorry about that.” But only silence greets me and trepidation takes root. Spinning around frantically, I don’t see her anywhere in the living room or the kitchen area. “Chanda?” I call, but no one answers, not even Fin’s usual gurgling. Fear takes over my whole body and my stomach drops with each second that passes. Everything slows down and I can hear only my heart hammering in my head. Running as fast as possible to Fin, I notice she’s no longer there and my whole world collapses.

  Sitting at my uncomfortable desk, I stare at my test, ready to finish and get home. This surprise quiz is the last thing I want to be doing. And it shows in my answers, or lack of. I’ve only written my name at the top of my paper. Man, oh man! Jazz in the shower last night is really what’s on my mind, not molecular levels of different species. Unfortunately I have another class after this one, so it will be a while before I can get a replay of her on her knees with water cascading down he blonde hair. Feeling the vibration of my phone, I jump and quickly silence it before the instructor hears. As soon as I do it starts up again.

  “Mr. Reed, is there a problem?” The instructor is a short round man, who I think colors his greying beard with possible shoe polish. I swear every time he wipes his face some comes off, but he is smart when it comes to scientific shit.

  Looking up from the papers in front of me, I watch as he holds out his hand. “Bring it here. You can get it back after the—”

  The door slams open and Jax runs in wearing a fearful expression. “Mason. We need to go. Now.”

  “Excuse me, sir. You can’t just barge into—”

  “I can and I just did,” Jax yells so loud the class jumps.

  My heart rate spikes and I yank my bag off the floor, not caring if shit falls out. “What’s wrong? Is it Jazz?”

  He shakes his head. “It’s Fin. She’s been kidnapped.”

  I hear everyone’s deep inhalation of breath just as mine escapes my lungs. Fear and anger war in my body while I pass him and run toward my truck. My mind is on Jazz and my little girl so I end up going the wrong way. “Mason. I’ll drive.” We run to his Jeep and I notice Tru’s in the back crying.

  “What the hell happened?” My voice is low because of the burn clogging my throat, but I fight it. Tears will only blur my vision and cause me to seem weak. And I know Jazz needs me to be strong.

  “Chanda came over and Jazz says when she walked back into the living room she was gone. So was Fin.” Jax speeds through traffic with his hazard lights on, but no speed is fast enough. It won’t change what happened or get Fin back any quicker.

  After a second his words register in my head. “Chanda? What? Why would she take Fin?” That fucking bitch! How could someone take a child and not just a random person, but someone I’ve known for years? But the answer doesn’t change anything. All that matters is getting my daughter back. Then I’ll make that bitch pay.

  Later that night we’re still no closer to finding answers or Fin. Police have been in and out all day asking questions, and the whole time I’ve had to watch Jazz relive every second Chanda was here and the second she knew Fin was gone. It has broken me and left me feeling powerless. I’ve tried to hold her several times, but she can’t be still. She’s restless and keeps looking at the clock. With every hour that passes the further Fin could be getting away from us and the chances of us finding her lessen. To think that just this morning I fed her while she played with my finger. I kissed her head of soft brown hair and told her I loved her. And now she’s gone.

  After the police finally leave for the night silence engulfs the apartment. Everyone is here, including my mom and her parents. Drew is keeping the little kids at Jax’s apartment, and until we have more answers we won’t tell them what’s going on. Cory and Ryan showed up an hour or so ago and are sitting in the living room lost in their own thoughts with everyone else. It’s weird seeing everyone together and not laughing. But tonight there’s only grief, fear, and a shitload of anger.

  “She’s probably hungry.” Jazz’s voice is a sad whisper. She stands looking out the window so I go to her, wanting to do something, anything for her. “She has no food. She doesn’t have any diapers or her f
avorite blanket. What if she’s cold? How will she get warm?”

  My heart breaks a little more with each question that leaves her mouth. I wrap my arms around her waist and let her lean against me, wanting to absorb her grief. “Shhh, don’t do this to yourself, baby.”

  She pulls away irritably and starts pacing the room while everyone watches in silence. “Why, Mason? Why shouldn’t I?” Her voice is loud, broken, and angered. “She’s my daughter and some bitch you brought into our lives took her. So why shouldn’t I be concerned for her? Chanda doesn’t know a thing about Fin. She’s just a selfish bitch who is money hungry and desperate. I have no idea what she’ll do to her? She could sell Fin on the black market just for her next fix for all I know. And I can’t stop her. I’m her mother and I should have protected her better.” She stops pacing and looks at me with so much turmoil written on her face that my soul hurts. Clara gets up and gently touches her shoulder, but she yanks it away. “Don’t. Don’t comfort me. I deserve what I’m feeling. I don’t deserve anyone’s sympathy or concern. Why should I get any when she’s probably scared and can’t tell anyone what she wants or needs?” She takes a shuddering breath but only crumbles more. “Because of me she’s gone. Because of me not trusting my gut she’s missing. And there’s not a fucking thing I can do about it.”

  Having enough of her feeling responsible for what happened, I walk over and grab her into a hug. She fights me and tries to escape my hold but I refuse this time. “You listen to me. We’ll get her back. I’ll hunt that bitch down and get our daughter back. I promise.” Kissing her head, I feel her yield and latch on to me. Her cries are my fuel to make this right. “I love you so damn much. I’m getting her back.” Looking at Clara, I nod my head. She comes and takes Jazz from me as I grab my keys off the table. Fuck the cops telling us to stay home. I run to my truck and get in. Before I can crank it I see Jax, Ryan, and David get in. “Y’all don’t need to come.”

  “Fuck yeah we do. That bitch took our niece and we’re getting her back.” We hit the streets daring any motherfucker to stop us.

  An hour later we pull into a hole-in-the-wall bar where supposedly Chanda likes to hang out. Ryan called Lyric and asked him if he’s seen her. According to Lyric she hasn’t been there in a few weeks, but one can only hope she shows up tonight. Of course she wouldn’t bring Fin with her so she’d have to leave her with someone else. And right now I’m warring with myself which one I’d prefer. Chanda is obviously working with someone else and has a fucking death wish. I was raised not to hit women, but it’s going to take everything in me to stop myself when I see her.

  Walking in, I’m assaulted with a heavy whiff of liquor, cigarettes, and marijuana. The four of us get stared down and pushed while looking through the rough crowd. Ryan seems to actually know people here so he’s hollering continuously in someone’s ear. I keep my eyes trained on the swarm of faces, and I really want to stand on a table or some shit to get a better look. The smoke filled room makes it difficult to see everyone’s face. I know there’s a stage somewhere because Ryan said Lyric used to play here acoustically and it’s where they formed Lyrical Obsessions. I can see why. Their music is dark and angry, exactly how I feel tonight.

  “I got something,” Ryan hollers to Jax, David, and me before he makes his way to some pool tables stuck in the back. When he nears one with three guys playing a game, he speeds up his steps. Then he grabs the long ponytail of one of the guy’s and slams his head against table. Ryan wears a savage sneer as he holds the guy’s face into the wood. “Hey, Zitshit. Long time no see, you fucking pussy.” He yanks him up and turns him to face us but keeps a hold on his collar so he’s still in the guy’s face.

  I go on alert and my back straightens, ready for someone to jump me at any moment. I’m not a fighter at heart, but tonight I’ll fuck up anyone who wants a round. Until my daughter is back safe with Jazz, I’ll take on this whole bar if I need to.

  The guy must see something feral in Ryan’s eyes because he throws his arms up in surrender. That or he’s seen Ryan fight before. He even tells his friends to back up with a shake of his head when they try to interfere.

  “What the fuck man?” His pupils look dilated and sunken into his ashen skin. The red acne covering his cheeks is the only color on his face while his jeans are faded and hang low showcasing his underwear.

  “My friends and I got a few questions and we want answers. Got it?” The guy nods. “Where’s your friend Chanda been lately? And don’t think about lying either because Lyric is on his way. And you know what that means for you and your boys, right?” His eyes widen and his face pales when Lyric’s name is mentioned. “Now where is she?”

  “I—I don’t know, man. She disappeared a few weeks ago. I’ve been looking for her myself because that bitch owes me money.”

  Ryan lets him go and looks at his clenched fist. “Not the right answer.” He punches him so hard the guy spits out a tooth.

  “Excuse me, son. You causing trouble here?” Looking behind me I see an older man with a long grey beard holding a twelve gauge shotgun in his large hands. This is the first time I notice the audience surrounding the dead silence and us. The guy approaches, ready to intervene, but stops when Lyric walks through the crowd that parts with every step he takes. It’s like he’s some kind of god, a god who’s tatted up and wearing a backwards cap.

  He touches the guy’s shoulder just one time and waits for him to put the gun back behind the bar. Then he approaches Ryan and only the sound of his boots are heard along the worn, wooden floor. He nods to Ryan to move and then takes his place. The guy holds his busted mouth and looks like he’s about to shit his pants as Lyric stands facing him. I look at Jax and David and see the same question on their faces. What the fuck is going on?

  “So, Z, I heard you’ve been selling bad shit on my streets again. That correct?” Lyric stands calmly looking at his fingernails, like he’s discussing the weather or some shit. “And I really wouldn’t lie about it if I were you.” The guy swallows hard and you can see beads of sweat build up on his forehead, but he remains silent. “Well, I’ll tell you what. You tell Ryan what he wants to know and I’ll let you by this time. If you don’t tell him…” he smiles with cold eyes and places his arm around Z’s shoulders “...well, if you don’t tell him I’m going to cut out your tongue and use it as an example for your fucking cohorts since you don’t like talking these days anyway. Sound like a deal?”

  Everyone stands in silence while waiting to see what happens next. Fortunately the guy decides to talk. When he says “blacked out Escalade” I know exactly whom Chanda’s working with and who has Fin. I’m helpless because I have no idea where to find them. Thankfully, I know who will.

  As we make our way back to my truck I tell the guys what I suspect before I call Jazz to check on her and get the number I need. Clara’s voice isn’t what I was expecting. “How is she?”

  “She’s asleep right now. Her father gave her something to help calm her down. Shortly after you all left that asshole professor showed up.”

  Her words have me slamming the door as I get in the drivers seat. Fuck! Why did I leave her? “What did he say?” He has balls to show up after taking Fin. My hatred for that fucker is really makes me have murder on the brain. Visions of punching the guy are interrupted when I hear a scratching on the other line before Mr. Coleman comes on the line.

  “Mason, did you find anything?

  “Yes and No. I was calling to get a number out of Jazz’s phone. It’s Allison. Oliver’s ex-wife. What did he say to her?”

  As everyone loads into the truck I can’t help but tap the steering wheel, desperate to get rid my anxiousness. I listen as he explains how that asshole yelled how a good mother wouldn’t lose her child and he will be talking to his lawyer soon. Pulling out on the road I let the tires squeal and burn ready to find the fucker.

  “Don’t worry. My fist shut him up before he left.”

  Yeah right! Telling me not to worry is a lost ca
use. I can’t help but worry about Fin and Jazz. “Thanks, Jeremiah. But shit! I wish I was there.”

  “I know. But I handled it and you’re doing what needs to be done. Here, I found the number. But why call her at three in the morning?”

  “No time to explain, but I’ll call you back as soon as I can.” We end our call after he gives me Allison’s number. I anxiously call her but she doesn’t answer. I press redial and on the third try she finally picks up. “Allison, it’s Mason. I need to know where Oliver is staying?”

  Her voice is gruff and you can tell she just woke up. “Huh? Oh my God, Mason, did you get Fin back? And why do you want to know where he lives? Especially at this time?”

  “Because I’m pretty sure he took Fin.” I hear her inhale sharply but luckily she doesn’t ask any questions.

  After she gives me the information, I hang up and we head to our destination. It’s about an hours drive away in the middle of nowhere, but the more I drive the farther it seems. Hearing a beep, I look down and see I’m almost out of fuel.

  “Shit!” The guys are in the back with tonight’s commotion at the bar as the topic of conversation. Ryan won’t tell us what the hell went down tonight no matter how much David begs. And honestly, I really don’t want to know. Whoever Lyric Devereux is, I don’t want to mess with him.

  After pulling into the gas station I step out and open the gas tank door only to see a folded piece of paper fall on the ground. Picking it up before I forget, I start the pump and then unfold the letter. Nothing could prepare me for what it says.

  Mason,

  I don’t know when you’ll find this but I hope it’s soon. Oliver has a family wanting Finlee unless you can pay more than their offer of one hundred thousand dollars. He’s well aware of Jazz’s trust fund as well as your new funds. Bring the money to the address written on the bottom before three days time and she’s all yours. If you show up without the money, then she’s gone.

 

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