by Alice Raine
Just as I arrived at the stable door to the kitchen a text pinged to my phone, and when I saw it was from Oliver my smile stretched my lips even further.
Good morning, cariño. I’m counting down the hours until you’ll be my wife. I love you to the moon and back xx
Tucking the phone into my pocket with a buzz of happiness, I entered the kitchen and was immediately swallowed up in hugs from my mother and then Sophia. They were both filled with obvious excitement and faffed around as they settled me in a chair and began bringing a huge selection of breakfast items to the table.
‘Good morning.’ I eyed the mountain of food apprehensively. My tummy was so full of nervous butterflies that I didn’t feel very hungry at all. ‘This looks delicious, but I’m not sure I can eat anything.’
My mum clicked her tongue disapprovingly and dished me up a slice of granary toast and some scrambled eggs and placed it in front of me.
I glanced up at her and was met with a raised brow that I remembered well from my childhood – it was her “you will do what you’re told” look, and so I dutifully scooped up a small forkful of egg and popped it in my mouth.
The taste of melted butter and perfectly cooked eggs hit my tongue and my mouth instantly came alive with interest. ‘Hmm, these are great.’ I gave a moan of pleasure, and as my stomach caught up with the fact that I was ravenous, I tucked in with gusto, cutting a corner off the bread and loading it with eggs before bringing it to my lips.
‘Have you guys seen Sasha this morning? She wasn’t in her room,’ I asked between mouthfuls.
Mum came to sit beside me with a fresh pot of coffee and poured us both a mug. ‘Yes, she came across early, about six, I suppose. She had a bite to eat and then headed off in the hire car at just gone seven. Said she had something last minute to sort out.’
First of all, six a.m.? That was almost unheard of for Sasha, and secondly, what last-minute things were there to arrange? As far as I was concerned everything was done bar the setting up, and that was currently being performed by the lovely people outside who we’d hired.
Where the heck had my bridesmaid disappeared to?
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Sasha
‘So where did you go this morning? You never got around to telling me.’
I turned my back on Robyn and looked out of the window as a way of deflecting her question. She’d already asked me three times now, but I was deliberately avoiding having to explain the whole “sex in a public place with a guy I like but can’t have” thing. There was no point telling her anyway, seeing as Marcus hadn’t even opened his door to me so the whole drive had been a wasted trip.
He’d been in his suite, though, I was sure I’d heard movement behind the door after my knock. Presumably he’d checked the spy hole and decided he didn’t want to speak to me. In usual circumstances I’d probably have been pursuing it a little harder, but today wasn’t usual, it was Robyn’s wedding day, and so I’d boxed up my problems and was now pointedly ignoring them.
‘Well?’
God, she really wasn’t going to let this drop, was she? I smiled and held up my hands as Robyn approached me. ‘Nooo, don’t come near the window! Oliver’s out in the garden with the guys and it’s bad luck to see the groom before the wedding.’
Robyn paused mid step and her cheeks flushed, so it looked like my attempt to distract her had worked this time. It was a shame Robyn couldn’t see him yet. Her big bad Wolfe looked perfectly sleek, all suited and booted in his wedding gear and grinning at something that Nathan had said before the two of them threw their heads back in a laugh. I’m not sure I’d ever seen Nathan laugh before; he was always so serious. But with his arm slung around Stella and his posture relaxed they looked such a happy group that it made me smile, too.
Oliver appeared so excited about the prospect of marrying my bestie that a little lump of emotion formed in my throat and, seeing as I’d just finished doing my makeup, I had to forcibly push aside the tingling of tears that rose behind my eyes.
My gaze left him and scanned over the group he was standing with: Matías, Oliver’s Spanish friend who I’d met briefly last night at the club, Nathan, Marcus, David, and a dark-haired guy who I’d never met personally, but knew to be Nathan’s brother, Nicholas.
All of them were in similar smart suits, apart from David, who was wearing suit trousers, a white shirt, and a black waistcoat, but had skipped the jacket and tie and was currently in the process of rolling up his sleeves and exposing his tattooed forearms. I’d never seen him in anything other than jeans, casual shirts, and leather jackets, and it was clear to see that he was the most uncomfortable in the smart clothing. Funnily enough, he looked pretty good in a rough around the edges bad boy sort of way.
Finally, my traitorous eyes drifted across to Marcus and something inside my chest grew tight and uncomfortable as I recalled last night’s events in my mind, and the horrific way it had ended between us. Again.
He looked stunning. Totally at ease and man, did he rock a three-piece suit – it fitted him to perfection. His hair almost looked bleached in the bright summer sunshine, and was just as wild as ever, reminding me of my constant urge to run my hands through it. Not that I’d ever get the chance, because for one thing, he hated being touched, and for another, he hated me.
‘Does he look handsome?’ Robyn asked.
‘Mmmm. Yes. Really handsome,’ I murmured.
A sharp nudge in my left arm had me turning away from the window in shock. ‘Oi! That’s my future husband you’re lusting over!’ she exclaimed with a giggle, but then, narrowing her eyes, Robyn gave me a knowing look. ‘Ah, you weren’t looking at Oliver, were you?’ Her expression turned curious and she jerked her head towards the windows. ‘Is Marcus out there, too, by any chance?’
Busted.
With a heavy sigh, I nodded.
‘He likes you, Sasha,’ Robyn stated with complete confidence.
After the fiasco in the club last night, I very much doubted that. He might fancy me, lust after me, even, but like me? No. The disgusted look on his face as he’d walked away flashed in my mind and I felt sick to my stomach. Seeing as Robyn didn’t know about our quickie in the club, I tried to formulate a casual answer. ‘Nah. He’ll have moved on by now.’
‘Nope. Oliver said he played squash with Marcus just last week and their conversation focused around you. Again. Apparently, he talks about you all the time. He’s still punishing himself for the way things went down between the two of you that night when you slept together.’
Just like I was berating myself for the way things had gone last night. God, what a bloody mess.
Turning fully away from the window and the distracting sight of Marcus, I rolled my eyes at Robyn. ‘Come on, Rob, this isn’t what you want to be discussing, it’s your wedding day. Forget about me and Marcus and focus on not sweating off your make-up in this Spanish heat.’
Robyn was looking in the mirror and fiddling with the clips in her hair, but she met my eyes in the reflection. ‘Actually, this is exactly what I need to be talking about. I’m excited, but I’m nervous, too. Gossiping about your love life is a great distraction.’ Picking up another clip, she gave me an expectant glance. ‘You still like him, don’t you?’
Huffing out a breath, I scrunched up my face in frustration, but after an almost sleepless night thinking things through and coming to the conclusion that yes, I did like him, and yes, I did want more – even if that meant letting him cuff me to his bed all night – I could at least admit it now.
‘Yeah.’ Letting out a low exhale, I decided to confess my little secret. ‘We… er… we had sex at the club last night.’
My words certainly grabbed Robyn’s attention, because she dumped down the remaining hair clips so hard that they scattered on to the floor, and then she spun around to face me with wide eyes.
‘What? How? Does this mean you’re giving him a chance, then? What happened?’ she squeaked, her hands flapping in excitement and t
he questions falling from her mouth in one big jumble.
I grinned at her reaction and the multitude of questions she was firing at me, until visions of what had occurred between Marcus and me sobered my mood. Flashes of our incredible connection flitted through my mind, followed by the tension between us afterwards and the way he’d stormed off.
‘Some weird guy was all over me and wouldn’t back off, and I started to yell at him. Marcus dragged him off me and threw him out, then he came back and… I found it pretty hot that he’d saved me… and we shared some big eye contact and then we were all over each other and then the next second we were having sex.’
‘Just like that, huh?’ Her eyes bulged as she nodded and came and sat next to me.
‘Yup. Pretty much.’ My shrug was meant to look casual but felt painfully forced.
‘Are you OK? Did the first guy hurt you?’
Bless Robyn for always thinking of my safety first, even when there was clearly some juicy gossip to be had. ‘Nah. He was just being a dick. Marcus laid into him pretty badly, though. Punched him in the face and everything.’
Robyn let out a low whistle. ‘Wow. He was protecting you. It’s kinda romantic, really.’
It was, and it wasn’t. The protecting me part was romantic, but the frantic public sex afterwards maybe not so much. I winced, desperately hoping we hadn’t been caught on CCTV or, God forbid, recorded on someone’s mobile phone to forever grace the airwaves of YouTube.
Robyn leaned closer, her eyebrows rising in curiosity. ‘And you had sex in the club? In one of the private rooms, or right out in the public bit?’
Closing my eyes, I grimaced in embarrassment. Fantasia might be a sex club, but still, public sex was a bit brazen, even for me. ‘Not quite, we were in a pretty dark corner.’ I admitted quietly. God, I still couldn’t believe we’d had sex in the club like that.
Robyn’s eyes were the biggest I’d ever seen them. ‘So who initiated it?’
‘It was sort of mutual. It felt like the air around us was thick with sexual tension, and then the next second we were kissing like it was about to be the end of the world.’
‘And was it just as good as the first time?’
I drew in a long breath, my cheeks heating as I recalled just how incredible it had been when he’d pressed me up against the wall, slid his hand around my throat, and pressed his body against mine. A little shudder of desire danced over my skin, and I glanced up at Robyn and saw her eyes latch on mine, watching all my reactions gleefully. ‘Yeah. Just as good, if not better.’
‘Wow.’ Robyn breathed softly, obviously seeing just how much this was affecting me. I hated to admit it, but it really was. He really was. Marcus Price, the man I couldn’t seem to move on from.
‘Yeah. It was pretty hot.’ I sounded sad, frustrated with the way it had ended.
‘And the cuff issue obviously wasn’t there if it was spontaneous and inside the club?’
‘No cuffs, but I still couldn’t touch him because he held my wrists above my head.’
Robyn started to thoughtfully chew on a fingernail, but I quickly reached across and slapped her hand away. ‘Hey! We just painted your nails!’
She flushed and examined her nail for damage before smiling at me. ‘Sorry. I was just thinking that there must be a reason he doesn’t like contact. He seems fine with it around the guys. Do you think something happened in his past?’
‘I was thinking along the same lines, but I don’t know anything for sure. I guess now I’ll never know.’ I let out a breath as my face crumpled into a sad expression.
‘Why? How did you leave things?’
I grimaced as the discomfort of guilt caused my stomach to cramp up into tight knots. ‘It wasn’t good… I was starting to realise just how much I liked him, and the panic must have shown on my face, I guess. I think he misread it as me regretting what happened between us, and then he walked away.’
Robyn’s face creased into a wince of sympathy, which was probably directed at Marcus, and not me, because let’s face it, whichever way I looked at it, the way things ended last night had been my fault. Instead of bottling it all up inside and panicking about my feelings I should have just opened up and told him like a normal person would.
Collapsing forwards, I buried my head into my hands. ‘God, it was a train wreck, Robyn. It’s always so fucked up between us.’
‘Shit, Sasha. Why didn’t you set him straight?’
I scrubbed my hands over my face to try to erase some of the guilt flooding my system. ‘I panicked. I… I realised just how much I was falling for him, and it terrified me, and I totally freaked out Robyn!’ I wrung my hands together and gave her an imploring look, desperate for her to understand. ‘You know what I’m like, this is some seriously big shit for me. I tried to talk to him, but then my words got all jumbled and I just couldn’t seem to explain it quick enough to stop him leaving.’
‘Have you messaged or called him since?’
‘I tried, but he didn’t answer.’
‘His phone might be out of battery, or switched to silent?’ Robyn pondered.
‘Yeah maybe, but that was also where I disappeared to so early this morning… I tried popping in at his hotel, but there was no answer. He was there, though. I could hear him moving around so I guess he’s just avoiding me.’
‘He could have been sightseeing?’ Robyn suggested, doggedly sticking to her optimism.
‘At seven o’clock in the morning on his best mate’s wedding day? I don’t think so,’ I stated sadly.
Scrunching up her face in a grimace, she nodded with visible reluctance. ‘OK… so maybe he was feeling messed up, too. He might have needed some time to work out what to say to you.’ Robyn slid even closer and gave my arm a supportive rub. ‘I know why you’ve always avoided relationships, and I get it… but surely you can see the positives to taking a risk with someone that you really like?’ She bumped her shoulder with mine to force me to look at her and then raised her eyebrows hopefully. ‘See how today plays out. It is going to be a boozy party, after all. Maybe once you’re both feeling a bit more relaxed you can talk to him and apologise.’
Letting out a dry laugh, I smiled at her enthusiasm, but I didn’t hold out much hope. I couldn’t see Marcus coming within a hundred meters of me after the way things had ended. ‘It’s all been such a mess. It’s like neither of us can make our mind up. It’s either him keeping me at arm’s length, or me freaking out. Now I’ve come around to the idea of maybe being with him and I still manage to screw it up. Talk about a complete fuck-up!’
Deciding that we’d had enough of this bloody frustrating subject, I checked the clock and grinned at Robyn. ‘Enough of this depressing conversation. I think it might be time for me to lace you into that gorgeous dress.’
CHAPTER THIRTY
Robyn
The chatter of the crowd in the marquee ahead of me lulled. My stomach clenched with excitement as I leaned to the side, trying to get a clear line of sight down the aisle so I could get a look at Oliver, but I couldn’t see past the gorgeous plumes of flowers that decorated the entrance. This was when the soft piano music was meant to start, but the space in front of me was totally silent. A room of bated breath.
Suddenly, through the sea of pink and white flowers I saw glimpses of a three-piece suit coming towards us, and grinned. I was so hyped up about the proceedings that it took me a second to register that it wasn’t Oliver coming down the aisle as I’d excitedly assumed, but the blond head of Marcus.
Marcus, who was clutching something in his hand, and wearing a dark, troubled expression on his face.
My earlier excitement drained away and my stomach suddenly gripped with nerves, twisting so violently that I couldn’t pull in a proper breath.
His expression… something was wrong. Very wrong. I didn’t know what, but I’d never seen Marcus look so pale and anxious and it immediately made me feel like throwing up. Sasha must have picked up on the tension in him, too, because
she took a step closer to me as if preparing to support me.
As soon as he reached my side, Marcus glanced between me and Sasha and chewed frantically on his lower lip.
‘Marcus, what is it? What’s wrong?’
He fidgeted on the spot for a second and swallowed loudly. ‘It’s Oliver, he’s not coming.’
He’s not coming?
Oliver isn’t coming?
Those three simple words reverberated around inside my head and brought my entire world crashing down around me.
I don’t recall leaving the garden, but I had obviously been guided out by Marcus and Sasha, because the next time I blinked and focused on my surroundings I realised I was sitting on the bed in the guest cottage.
What was I doing in here?
Sasha was hovering in front of me with a glass of water in her hand and that same anxious expression on her face, and Marcus stood behind her reading something on a crumpled piece of paper.
I couldn’t think straight. My brain felt sluggish, as if I’d just woken up from some really deep sleep. I glanced down and saw that I was still decked out in my wedding dress, with my bouquet discarded at my side.
It was my wedding day? Why was I sitting here, then? Rubbing at my temples, I tried to get my brain to wake up, but I honestly couldn’t remember anything of how I got here, or why I was in the guest cottage of Oliver’s parents’ house.
I racked my brain. What was the last thing I could remember? I’d woken up and looked out of the window and the weather had been perfect, then Sasha and I had got dressed together and shared some prosecco before heading down to the ceremony and then Marcus had come up to us with his message…