by Sessha Batto
“No one is sending you anywhere, Takahashi-san,” Daisuke confirmed. “I'm sure Makoto would like to see you when he can have visitors.”
“I think I'll just head home,” Yoshi decided. “I'll check in at administration in the morning.”
“I think you should have the medics take a look at you,” the Shuhan insisted. “You seem a little disoriented.”
“I'm fine. I just need to get some sleep.”
“Where do you live, senpai?” The masked nin jumped in, picking up clues from Daisuke.
“In the bachelor quarters, of course,” Yoshi said. “Same place you live, kohai.”
“Actually I moved out a few years ago. You moved too, senpai. Don't you remember?” the black op prodded.
“Why would I move?” the elite asked. “I may be tired, but I'm not stupid.”
“You moved back to your family home,” the Shuhan reminded him. “You've retired, Takahashi-san. Don't you remember?”
“No,” the shadow wolf said. “I don't remember. I'm sure something like that wouldn't slip my mind. If you all will excuse me, I'm tired of being the butt of your jokes. I'll see you around.”
He turned to leave, and nearly ran straight into a worried Mayu, Souta by her side. “Yoshi-kun, please let the medic check you over. You're worrying me.”
“Mayu?” the elite mumbled. “Why are you here?”
“Fukazawa-san said you needed me.”
“I'm sorry he bothered-you, Fujiwara-sama,” Yoshi said with a bow. “Please accept my apologies. I am just fine, you can go back home.”
“You're not fine,” Mayu insisted. “My name hasn't been Fujiwara for almost five years. I married Tatsuya, remember? We're having a baby. I asked you to be the godfather. Does any of this sound familiar?”
“You're not old enough for that, Mayu-chan,” the elite scolded. “You're barely eighteen. Besides, you can do better than a Kobayashi. You're really very pretty.”
“Thank you, 'shi-kun, you're very sweet. How old do you think you are?” she asked.
“I don't have to think about it,” the shadow wolf replied. “I'm fifteen. Too young to know about love, I know. Believe me you've all pounded it into my head.”
“Oh, sweetie,” The kunoichi shook her head at the response. “I'm afraid you're wrong. You're thirty-five, 'shi-kun. You live in the Takahashi house with Sasaki Makoto.”
The restless elite froze, all senses turned inward as he tried to make sense of the confusing information he was being bombarded with. “This isn't funny,” he finally snarled in frustration, “I'd remember something like that. Why are you doing this to me?”
“No one's doing anything to you,” Souta assured him. “But it appears you're a little confused. Perhaps you're under a spell?”
“I... I don't know.” Yoshi buried his hands in his hair and slid down the wall he was leaning against to slump in a dejected heap. “I really, really, don't like doctors,” he explained in a small, forlorn voice.
“I'll go with you,” Mayu offered. “It will be alright, I promise. I'll make sure they don't do anything to hurt you.”
Shortly after a visibly shaken shadow wolf was led away, the medic finally reappeared. “Sasaki-san's awake and he wants to see you,” he told Daisuke. “But just you and only for five minutes. He really shouldn't be agitated.”
“Five minutes, I promise.” The Shuhan followed the young man down a corridor and into a room full of beeping machinery.
“He's still on the respirator so he can't talk. We won't be able to remove the tube until the swelling goes down in his throat,” the medic explained. “So he'll have to write his answers.”
“He's going to recover, isn't he?” the Shuhan asked. “They were able to repair the damage?”
“He will recover. He should be out of the hospital in a week and back to normal in about three weeks. It was a very close call though, five more minutes and he might not have made it.”
Daisuke crept up to the edge of the bed, observing the interrogator's heavily scarred face in repose for a moment before clearing his throat to get his attention. “Before you panic, Yoshi's here in the hospital. He's talking to a medic right now because he's…” the Shuhan paused, not willing to lie to his friend, but at the same time wanting to leave him with hope. “…he's a bit confused.”
Makoto gestured for a pen and paper and began to write frantically. My fault, he printed in huge letters. Woke him from a nightmare. Knew better than to touch him. My fault. My fault.
“He thinks he's still fifteen, Sasaki-san,” Daisuke explained. “He doesn't want to be sent to Iwagashi to rescue you.”
Oh 'shi-san. A tear made its way, unnoticed, down the interrogator's face. How did we come to this?
“The important thing to remember, is that he's getting the best help available. You're both alright and in time, and with help, you'll both get past this.”
See him! The interrogator scrawled, stabbing the paper with his finger.
“Let me go find out what's going on,” the Shuhan suggested.”Then I'll come back and fill you in.”
Twenty agonizing minutes passed while Makoto stared blindly at the ceiling above his head, waiting impatiently for Daisuke to return. He'll be fine, the interrogator kept repeating. He's the shadow wolf for kami's sake. Still, the seconds ticked by like hours and he was on the verge of simply ripping out all the tubes and wires and staggering off in search of Yoshi when the Shuhan finally reappeared.
“He's alright,” Daisuke assured him. “I saw him, he's not upset. They're going to be keeping him here for a while, Sasaki-san. He needs help to deal with all the things that have happened to him. The doctor said to be sure to tell you that, with time, he should get back to his old self and regain his memories.”
SEE HIM!!!!! The interrogator wrote in massive block letters, stabbing the paper with the pen for emphasis.
“You can't see him now, Makoto,” the Shuhan explained. “No one can, not for a while. As soon as he can have visitors you'll be informed, I put you down as his next of kin.” Daisuke's normally smiling face looked very different at the moment, and he released a heavy sigh. “You'll need to stay in the hospital for about a week. I should warn you, Takahashi-san's been admitted for a thirty day observation. You won't be able to see him until after that.”
A single tear rolled down the torture master's cheek, and the Shuhan bent to wipe it away. “It'll be okay. Mayu checked him in and made sure he felt safe. She's going to bring some things by for both of you tomorrow. Right now, the most important thing for you to do is rest and recover. You can't help Yoshi if you make yourself sick.”
The interrogator merely turned his head to the side and shut his eyes, wishing himself back to sleep in the desperate hope that, when he woke up, all this would have been just a terrible nightmare.
“Sou and I will stop by tomorrow to see you,” Daisuke whispered. “I'm really, really sorry, Makoto.”
As soon as the Shuhan stepped outside he was accosted by his nearly frantic lover. “What the hell is going on? Where is everybody?”
“Yoshi's been admitted for thirty days observation.” The Shuhan didn't get any further as tears of frustration began gathering in his eyes and he had to stop and wipe them away before continuing. “Makoto says it's all his fault, he woke him from a nightmare. I'm supposed to be Kobayashi no Shuhan, and there's not a single thing I can do for either one of them. It just isn't fair.”
“No, it isn't fair, Dai.” Souta pulled his lover into a hug and rubbed his hand up and down his back, hoping to soothe tense muscles. “It also isn't your fault. Let's go home and get some sleep, maybe things will seem clearer in the morning.”
****
The next week passed at what seemed, to the formerly patient Makoto, at least, to be a glacial pace. The interrogator seethed with frustration as his repeated demands for information were ignored by both medics and visitors. How he longed for the day he could once again take charge and gather his own intelligence.
“I'm so sorry, Sasaki-san,” the doctor informed him. “Takahashi-san does not yet have visitor's privileges. After the first thirty days he can put you on his visitor's list. As soon as he does you'll be able to see him on Thursday afternoons from two to four.”
“Will you at least tell him I came to see him? I don't want him to think I've abandoned him.”
“I'm so sorry. Outside contact is strictly regulated,” she said, smile never faltering. “If you are family you may write to him. All letters are read first by the patient's counselor, so you may not want to be too personal.”
A defeated Makoto finally gave up and headed for the tower to see if Daisuke or Souta had any more information on the shadow wolf's condition. When he finally shuffled through the doors the pair immediately wrapped concerned arms around him, nearly suffocating him in their pleasure to see him up and about.
Unfortunately, even the Shuhan couldn't get into the hospital's locked ward, so the interrogator was left to drift, sleeping in the too large bed alone, staring at reminders of what he desperately feared he had lost, and writing long, loving letters which he dropped off at the ward.
“Takahashi-san is a lucky man,” the charge nurse declared three weeks into Makoto's ordeal. “Not many patients here have someone as devoted as you waiting for them.”
“He means the world to me,” the interrogator explained. “I need him back home where he belongs.”
****
On the day the thirty day evaluation was finally to end, a smiling Makoto strode into Yamada's flower shop, and was pleasantly surprised to find Naoto behind the counter.
“How are you?” the interrogator asked. “I didn't expect to see you here.”
“Yamada-san had some errands to run so I'm filling in for him.”
“I'll be sure to tell Yoshi I ran into you when I see him later.”
“He's coming home?” Naoto said.
“The thirty day evaluation is up today. They can't keep him any longer, he's not crazy,” Makoto explained. “That's why I'm here. I want to bring some flowers when I go and pick him up.”
“I'm sure Yoshi-san will like that very much,” the younger man said. “But what if he doesn't come home today?”
“What do you mean? Where will he go?”
“I mean he may have to stay in the hospital a while longer,” Naoto said. “Don't get your hopes up too much.”
The smiling interrogator pushed the concerns aside, confident that he would, indeed, be taking Yoshi home with him. He smiled noncommittally and grabbed the bouquet before hurrying off to the hospital.
When he arrived he was surprised, to say the least, to be ushered into a small office and asked to take a seat. After waiting impatiently for fifteen minutes a hidden door finally opened and a medic stepped into the room. “It's a pleasure to meet you, Sasaki-san. I'm Yoshida Sanosuke. I've been assigned as Takahashi-san's counselor.”
“Cut to the chase, doc,” Makoto demanded. “Does he have to come see you or something?”
“I'm sorry to have to tell you this. I know from the staff and your letters how much you care for Yoshi, but he's just not ready to go home yet. If I release him now he will still be a danger to himself and to you. Besides,” the medic continued confidently, “he wants to stay. He's a smart man, he knows he's not ready for the outside world just yet.”
“I don't believe you,” the interrogator decided. “I'm not going to let you keep him here against his will.”
“He was afraid you'd react this way. I'm going to bend the rules a bit and let you see him. Just for a few minutes so he can explain. Try not to upset him too much. Remember, it took time to cause the damage, it will also take time to heal.”
The medic opened the door and ushered a wan shadow wolf into the room, helping him settle into a chair before whispering “Fifteen minutes.”
“Hello, sweetheart, I've missed you.” Makoto offered Yoshi the sweet-smelling bouquet while he drank in the view of his beloved.
“I've missed you too,” the elite said. “I'm so sorry about everything that's happened.”
“None of it was your fault,” the interrogator assured him. “I should never have tried to wake you up.”
“What are you talking about? Wake me up when?”
“The night you lost your memory, I tried to wake you up from a nightmare.” Makoto carefully skipped over the attack that almost cost him his life. “When we found you again, you were confused.”
“I'm still confused,” the last Takahashi admitted. “That's one of the reasons I decided to stay here a while longer.”
“Seriously?” the interrogator pressed. “You don't have to. You can just come home with me where you belong.”
“I hate myself,” Yoshi explained. “I don't want to. If I don't stay here now and figure this out I never will. You deserve better than that.”
“I only want you. Good or bad, it doesn't matter.”
“It matters to me,” the shadow wolf insisted. “I'm tired of living this way.”
“What do you want me to do?” Makoto asked. “Should I stay in the house, or would you rather I move out?”
“It's our home, of course you should stay. I'll be back eventually. Unless you don't want to wait?”
“I'll wait forever if I have to. Can I come see you at least?”
“I'll put you on the visitors list, every Thursday from two to four,” Yoshi whispered. “If you want to come I'll be here.”
“Of course I'll come,” Makoto confirmed with a broad smile. “Any day I get to see you is a good day, sweetheart. I wouldn't miss it for the world.”
“Time's up,” the medic announced as he reentered the room. “Say goodbye to your friend, Yoshi.”
“Bye, 'koto, see you next week,” the shadow wolf whispered.
The interrogator couldn't stand seeing his lover so despondent and swept him into his arms, kissing him passionately. Finally breaking the kiss to husk, “I love you, 'shi-san. Don't worry I'm not going anywhere.”
****
Three weeks later Makoto was getting ready for his weekly visit, gathering some books and clothes in his continual attempt to keep life as normal as possible for Yoshi during his confinement. He strode out of his office just after lunch, with a rumbled, “Summon me if it's urgent.”
When he arrived at the hospital he was surprised to be met by a serious Dr. Yoshida instead. “I'm afraid Takahashi-san's had a bit of a setback,” he confided. “We had to sedate him. You can try again next week.”
The interrogator stumbled blindly out of the building, obsessed with the thought that the shadow wolf was never coming home. He headed to the nearest bar to inundate his sorrows. “Lover of my dear friend,” Jun boomed as he took the next stool. “How is the brave Yoshi faring?”
“He had a setback, now I can't see him until next week. I just want him home.”
“I'm sure he wishes to be home with you too,” Jun assured him. “Let us drink to his swift and speedy recovery.”
****
Eventually though, Makoto began to see positive changes in the reserved elite. He started looking forward to each visit, knowing it brought him that much closer to having his precious person back home where he belonged.
Three months after he entered, a thin but smiling Yoshi was waiting impatiently for Makoto to come and finally check him out. “Remember to take your medication, Takahashi-san,” his doctor cautioned. “You don't want to end up back here.”
“No, I most certainly do not,” the shadow wolf agreed. “In fact, I'd be happy to never see the inside of this place again.”
“Are you ready to go home?” the interrogator bent to whisper in his ear.
“I can't wait,” Yoshi replied with a broad genuine smile
. “I have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
THE FINAL GATE
HARMONY ATTAINED
“Welcome home, sweetheart.” Makoto felt a bit silly, it wasn't really his place to welcome anyone to Yoshi's home. “I kept going with the renovation, just like we'd planned. On the store too. I hope you don't mind?”
“I don't know how I'll ever be able to thank you for everything you've done. There's no way I can ever repay you.”
“You don't need to repay me,” the interrogator assured him. “I love you, I was happy to do it.”
“So,” Yoshi ventured, “about our agreement—”
“Are you leaving me? At least give me a chance.”
“No, silly. I have no desire to leave you,” the shadow wolf husked. “Far from it. I just wondered if you wanted an extension because I was in the hospital for so long?”
“I'd love an extension. Assuming you think I need one, that is,” Makoto rumbled. “I'll take all the time I can get with you.”
“Well, you'll have plenty of that. I'm not going anywhere and I hope you won't either.”
“I'd rather die than leave you,” the interrogator admitted. “I've almost lost you too many times.”
“Thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve you but I'm grateful. I've been nothing but trouble for you.”
“You've had all the troubles, 'shi-san. I wish I could have protected you, done something to make things easier. All I did was make it worse,” Makoto said. “It's my fault you ended up in the hospital, after all.”
“Oh no, that's not true.” The shadow wolf hooked his fingers under the scarred chin and forced him to meet mismatched eyes. “I was in the hospital because of all the abuse I suffered. It had nothing to do with you.”
“But I upset you, that night. I did something you reacted badly to, and then later when you were dreaming I tried to wake you up and that's when you—” Makoto mentally slapped his hand over his mouth, abruptly cutting off the words he was about to say.
“That's when I what?” Yoshi pressed. “I know something happened. You were in the hospital, they told me that. What did I do?”