She cuts me off, “You think that’s why I…”
“Yes it’s exactly why. You feel the burning and you think joining our bodies will help, and it will, but we don’t need to join for me to help your burning. I can help you without the bedding.”
“You don’t want to bed me?” She asks. But this time I feel her confusion. “I’m burning inside and you know bedding me will stop this burning and you won’t do it?”
“I can stop your burning without the bedding.” I say reaching out touching her face. Instantly my magic rushes over her body cooling the burning. She calms almost instantly and I can tell all thoughts of bedding have left her mind. But there is something in her eyes that I can’t read.
My thumb brushes along her cheek and she looks away. “Shadowen…” I whisper while reaching for her again but I feel this distance mounting between us. “Shadowen.” I say once more but she lifts her hand touching my lips. She looks up to me and I see tears forming in her beautiful eyes. I’m not sure what I did to cause this, but I don’t like it one bit. She backs up shaking her head at me then simply fades into a shadow. My heart aches for her and now I feel she is up in her room. I also know the last thing she wants is me near her.
Eleven
Several weeks have passed since Shadowen’s birthday. She has not come to me at night even when I feel her burning. She lies in bed, alone in her old room suffering with it. She has this amazing control over herself and I have to wait for her to fall asleep before going to her. I ease her burning while she sleeps and then leave her, leaving me in utter turmoil.
I've tried everything I can think of... but I can’t get her taste from my lips. It’s driving me insane with desire and need for her. Now when I see her I can’t help but look at her with longing and today was the first time she snapped at me about it.
She’s been in her room ever since and I have no idea what to do or say to her. So I have been trying to stay busy in the kitchen cooking, until that feels fruitless to distract me. I then spend time below training some skills however once that isn’t enough to distract me I find myself back to cooking.
Shadowen shifts in and I try not to look at her because I can’t remove the look from my face each time I do look at her. I'm all mixed up inside and I feel as if all control is lost when I'm near her. Even now I’m unable to suppress my emotions fully when she is so close to me. She brushes lightly against me and I swallow hard handing her a steaming bowl of vegetables as she sits down.
I join her at the table keeping my eyes averted but I can feel her looking at me. I keep a solid gaze down at my food not daring to look up. I can feel her anger mounting but she says nothing. I know if I say anything I will mess it all up, again.
Finally she breaks the silence. “You aren’t going to look at me anymore?”
My heart stops but I find my voice, “I think for the time being I shouldn’t.”
“But…” She stops in mid-sentence. Now I feel her cut her emotions off from me.
I hate that!
“Shadowen, please don’t be angry with me.”
She pushes the full bowl away, scraping it along the table as she stands up. “I’m no longer hungry, but thank you for going to such trouble.” She turns shifting right out of the kitchen and into her bedroom.
Damn!
I’ve really upset her if she won’t eat. I look at my food and I push it aside as well. I stand then shift into the training room down below. This will bring me clarity. I train with my stov-vo-kievs first then next I’m flipping my blades from one hand to the other. Before I know it I am parting shadows and I’m suddenly outside heading to the surface.
It feels good to feel the wind flowing through my cloak. Night has come and I can roam freely at night. Several hours go by and when I return Shadowen greets me with her veil on. I’m stunned and hurt. How can we have moved so far forward to be thrown so far back?
I reach for her but she promptly pulls away. I feel my own anger at her distance. “Shadowen, you veil yourself? You should not be so angry.”
“Angry? Who’s angry? I’m just preparing to leave.” She says pulling on her gloves in that monotone voice that gets right under my skin.
“Leave? What do you mean leave?”
“Leave, as in depart, as in go out.” She says with that intolerable indifference that she knows I truly despise. She's really trying to push my buttons.
“Where do you plan to go?”
“I heard that Darken is back visiting his parents from the surface. I thought I would pay a visit to his family.”
“Darken? Are you serious?” Not the old boyfriend again!
“It’s been a long time since I saw him and… well… I’ll be back later.” She reaches for a shadow but I block her step.
“No! You will not see him.” I tell her as my fury and I hate to admit it but my jealousy rises. I step towards her to touch her but she takes several steps away reaching for another shadow.
I block her again. “I said no!” I can’t believe she is doing this. It’s not even safe for her to be so close to Phantom.
“I don’t think you understand. I am leaving.” She says firmly.
“I don’t think you understand. You are not.” I say quite firmly back at her.
“His family is old friends and…”
I interrupt her with my fury, “He is an old boyfriend and you are not leaving this house to be with him!”
“You seem to think you have some rights here concerning what I do.” She says far too smoothly.
“Rights?” I'm shocked.
“Yes, rights and you are quite mistaken.”
“Mistaken?” I’m further shocked. “I’m your consort and you plan to go run around with your ex boyfriend. No!”
“Consort? You are no consort.” She says turning and she slips right in a shadow but this time I am so stunned by her words I don’t move fast enough and she is gone.
I gather my wits rather quickly slipping right into her wake and now I am chasing her. If she thinks she is going to just decide I’m no longer her consort because Darken has returned... She's the one mistaken, not I.
I reach her after three shadow steps and grab her before she has a chance to part another. I turn her around and I’m actually stunned that her body falls right into mine perfectly. My arms are around her and she presses her hands against my chest. I’m so suddenly aroused that I think I might explode just from this contact with her. Now I realize I’m feeling her arousal from the shadows and it’s playing havoc with mine.
She leans into me even more and I turn to see where we are. I take her hand in mine and my other hand slips her more tightly to my body. I refuse for her to think she can just leave me and go chase in these shadows becoming so aroused that when she meets Darken she will be all ready for him to pounce on. Oh hell no!
I lean down pressing her tighter to me, whispering in her ear, “Step with me.” I take the step and she does with mine and I immediately feel her arousal heighten along with mine and jealousy. Oh… it’s the shadows. I forgot how they make me feel when they touch her. This is not an expected outcome but we step again and then again becoming even more aroused with each step taking us back home. She isn’t speaking or protesting and her body is rubbing against mine and it’s like pure agony feeling myself become so hard without relief in sight.
Finally we step into our foyer and I reluctantly release her hand. She instantly brings it back up to my chest and presses in closer. I feel her inhale deeply and I’m not sure I can control myself I want her so badly. Her hands slide down my chest igniting even hotter fuel inside me. I quickly grab her hands with my trembling ones. I find my voice and its husky, “Shadowen… I haven’t the restraint.”
“I don’t want your restraint.” She says boldly.
Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask. I ask anyway. “What do you want?”
“I want my consort.” She purrs into my neck brushing her veil along mine.
I snatch her hand in mine
again pulling her body firmly against me and I part a shadow practically dragging her with me as I groan in need. I take us straight up to our bedroom. I pull my veil off and hers in a single motion my mouth is taking hers before she can say no, change her mind or do anything.
I want her. I’ve wanted her for so long. I’m cupping her face with my hands as my magic swarms around her allowing my shadows to unbutton her gown and remove our clothes. I need to feel her nakedness next to mine. Now she releases her emotions to me and I inhale deeply. She is burning with magic, on fire with it and desire.
My mouth moves from her lips to her neck, she tastes incredibly sweet and I can’t get enough of her. My lips kiss and my teeth nibble along her neck. Her breath is quickening with each taste I take. Her fingers now touch me and I groan in agony for her. I allow her to feel my need and sweet misery with each caress of her fingers.
I gently press her down to the bed with my magic and my mouth is now sliding downward along her body. Her skin is so incredible I can’t seem to stop tasting it. My fingers tingle with magic moving against her skin and she is gasping softly, which only fuels me more. I feel her nervousness but I also feel her desire is overwhelming her anxieties.
I slip my hand lower and lower until I part her soft, sweet thighs. My lips find her nipple hard and excited to be kissed. So I kiss it more until taking it into my mouth. Her shadows suddenly engulf me and begin touching me in ways I never expected. My skin feels alive with her as if I am finally breathing in life for the first time.
I realize I can’t wait. I’m about to explode and I’m not even anywhere I want to be to do that. I try to stop and control myself. I lift my head and she leans up so quickly taking my mouth with hers. Her tongue slips into my mouth startling me with her passion and sweetness. She’s moving her body, wiggling below mine.
I’m not going to make it. I’m not going to make it. Her hand touches me and I gasp out releasing her lips. I’m stunned at her desire and need as her unskilled hands try to put me inside her soft wetness. Her fear is still there but I feel her throbbing need because it's matching mine. Finally it turns to utter frustration, “Please… help me.” She begs.
She need not beg me more than this simple plea because I’m thrusting inside her tightness and she is arching her back. I can’t control anything now. I’m thrusting in her like my life is depending on this to live. I need to be deeper and deeper inside her and she is clawing at my back trying to pull me in deeper.
Our magic is suddenly wild and flaming around us. It’s sweet agony to feel our shadows piercing each other and now I’m feeling her passion rise to incredible heights. I feel my Consort explode taking me along with her.
My heart is filled with her and her warmth. I have waited so long for this, but I never expected it to be like this. I knew it would be great but this is beyond great. My body is grinding into her and she is moaning and thrusting with me. It's pure ecstasy.
I shudder again then wrap my arms around her pulling her body even closer to mine. My breath is harsh as I breathe into her neck. I can’t stop myself from saying it. It’s as if I have no choice I must say it. “You’re my Consort. Only mine. I cherish you and will always cherish you.”
I feel her breath so soft and so sweet along my shoulder. “Reis, I am your Consort as you are mine, for eternity.” I lift my head and shower her face in kisses. I will never let her go.
I lift my lips to stare into her beautiful eyes. Her shadows are swaying so erotically and a smile touches her mouth. She is breathtaking and I am looking into her face with awe but it is not the same awe as earlier. I’m looking into the eyes of my Consort. Now several thoughts come to me and I feel my brow wrinkle. “You lied to me?”
“Lied?” she says with this innocent look on her face.
“Darken isn’t back.” I say with this new knowledge.
“Did I say he was back? I thought I said... 'I heard he was back'. Not exactly the same.” She says with this soft smile.
“You little minx! You tricked me!”
“Tricked you, I have no idea what you mean?” she says softly raising her hand to my hair brushing it back away from my face.
“Shadowen, you didn’t have to trick me. I would have…”
“You would have what? Stop speaking to me as well as not looking at me.”
Ouch. She’s right I was not dealing well with this at all. “How did you know I would chase you? How did you… know?”
“I didn’t know anything. I just knew I couldn’t live like this anymore.” She says leaning up kissing my lips. “I want you.” She says, then a bit huskier she adds, “I need you.” I feel her body move slightly underneath me and I’m still very much inside her and growing harder by the minute.
“You need me?” I ask brushing my lips against hers.
“Oh yes.” She admits and I do feel her need and her desire swelling. I move more slowly now inside her. And she gasps as I gaze into her eyes. My body slowly thrusting inside her as I gaze into her beautiful shadows. I feel her desire press into mine, she wants it faster but I have better control and now I’m going to use this control.
Each slow thrust I make is with purpose and determination and she begins moaning along with her gasping. Her hands move along my back and I feel her previous clawing ignite my skin and now I feel her healing magic sweep along the love wounds she made.
I kiss her mouth gently and she returns the kiss but I lift my head, I want to stare into her lovely eyes as the passion rises inside her. I increase my movements and her shadows sway against my body. Magical charges shudder through our bodies and I feel her drawing in my magic. I don’t know how she can do it but she’s pulling on my darkness and I feel her sipping it down along with my shadows. Now I find she is moving... pushing me to the edge. She wants it faster and she is using my magic to get what she wants.
I smile at her but her face is not smiling back. She is determined and she is biting her lower lip. I feel the power building between us. She wants my magic in her so I give it to her. I release my control and drown her in my magic and my passion. Her magic shoots straight to me and I’m almost screaming in pure pleasure.
My body is rocking along with hers as spasms consume her and me. I’m caught within her shadows and it’s like I’ve just plunged into a huge vat of honey. It’s incredibly sweet and thick and moist not to mention sticky. Oh goddess I never want to leave this place inside her. I collapse atop her body and my breathing along with hers is ragged yet perfect.
A moment later I lift my weight from her and lie next to her but keep her body entwined into mine. She nuzzles right into my shoulder and chest. My magic is shimmering as I sweep the spread across us. Coupling is known to increase our power, but this is nothing I have ever experienced. I feel double my normal magic and oh goddess I love it. This was well worth the wait.
I hear her sleeping so suddenly and I can’t help but lay back just basking in our magic. It’s sweet and perfect and if I keep thinking about it I am going to roll her over and take her again. The only thing missing is she hasn’t opened up fully to me and that I need for her to do so I can join with her soul. But I know it is only a matter of time and she will let me in her heart fully.
It’s not like I can blame her after everything she's been through but I had hoped by now she would have enough trust in me to let me in her heart fully. I’m not sure how to get her to open up to me but I am positive it will happen.
Twelve
I open my eyes to find Shadowen is staring down into my face. I smile up at her and a soft grin crosses her lips. “How long have you been staring at me while I sleep?” I ask. Her grin widens, “For awhile… I was wondering if I held a pillow over your head if you’d stop snoring.” I see her grin break into giggles and I whisk her quickly in my arms then just as swiftly place her underneath me.
“I do not snore!” I say but now I am grinning down at her.
“Oh but you do.” She insists. Then she makes this annoying snoring sound.
“Shadowen!” I pretend to scold her but her hands reach around my back and I feel her magic reach to me as a lover and I take a sharp intake of breath.
The shadows in her eyes sparkle and I feel more of her magic swarm around me. I can’t get over the sensations rushing through my body. My voice is harsh with desire, “Shadowen…” I’m amazed at the way she is caressing me with her magic. It’s like she has been doing this for years. Unfortunately I am going to succumb like a young man without any experience or control at all. “Oh Shadowen.”
She squirms underneath me and just as I am about to ravish every inch of her, she suddenly stiffens with fear sweeping along her skin. She freezes and I know why, Phantom, and he's outside our home. I slip off her soft body and I feel her stress, worry and it’s mixed with mine. I dress quickly my mind reeling and I see that she too is dressing in a hurry but is very quiet.
I finally turn to her, “How does he know?”
“What?” she asks.
“Dammit Shadowen!” I hate when she avoids answering me when she knows exactly what I mean.
I slip on my boots and wrap the gray gauze around them; taking my sweet time all the while I know he is out there waiting for me. “You know perfectly well what I’m…”
“Shade.” She says quickly.
“How did you already… oh never mind.” I run my fingers through my hair. “Just tell me why you told him?”
“I didn’t tell him.”
“Then how…”
“He can feel me sometimes when my emotions are intense.”
“Oh great so each time we make love Shade is going to know and go run and tell your father?” I look angry and I feel the thick emotion but then I can’t help but feel quite wicked. I snatch her up in my arms to her surprise. “You know maybe this isn’t as bad as I first thought.” I quickly slip my hands under her gown and begin sliding it up and she giggles in this soft way that always warms my heart. “Maybe I should bed you right now with him down there waiting for us.”
“Would that really please you?” she asks me.
The Royal Assassin: Shadows of Myst Page 9