“This punch is disgustingly sweet,” Mac said, sticking out her tongue. “It tastes like someone snuck in sugar, not booze.” She shook her head and set her cup on the table. “Gross.” She grabbed a water instead, and I stared into the sea of people.
The dance hall was starting to smell a little like the locker room with all the bodies inside, but I tried to ignore it. The music was slow and the blue lights were dim and soft, making the silver decorations partially twinkle.
“Come on, let’s take some of our famously awkward photos,” Mac said, taking my hand.
“Sounds good.” I discarded my punch on the table as well. “I get to keep these ones though. You kept the ones from the fair and the ones from the arcade last time.”
“Fine—” Mac stopped short.
“What?” I followed her gaze to find Nick sauntering into the dance hall in a suit I’d never seen him in before. Then I saw Reilly come inside after him.
“What the hell are they doing here?” I breathed.
Mac started laughing. “You’re here!” she shouted. She grinned at me, eyes alight with surprise and happiness. “I can’t believe they came.”
“Wait, what? I don’t understand.” I glanced between them. Nick peered around the room as he approached, but surprisingly, Reilly was looking directly at me. I had no idea when Mac called them, but she obviously had, and clearly Reilly knew I was the reason they had to schlep down here. I clasped my hands over my face. “Great.” I muttered. The last thing I wanted was my guy friends holding this over my head for the rest of my life.
Nick stopped in front of us, then Reilly, both had their hands in their pockets. “Someone called about an escort?” Nick said with a wink.
“You wish.” Mac smacked him on the shoulder.
With a chuckle, Nick looked around the room. “God, these dances are horrible. I can’t believe you bought tickets this year.”
“I can’t believe you bought one to save the day,” Mac simpered and wrapped her arm through his. “Come on, Mr. Sweet Tooth, I’ll get you a drink.”
“It better have booze in it.”
“Well . . . it definitely has sumthin’.”
Just like that, Mac and Nick were off on their own, laughing and arguing at the drink table, while Reilly and I stood on the outskirts of the slowly-dancing crowd. The music was low enough to hear each other, even if the room was a bit small for the group size.
“So,” Reilly said, stepping closer as he peered into the masses. “Who do we need to pummel?” he asked, but I knew Mac had likely told him already.
“No one,” I said with a grateful smile, even if it was a little embarrassing that he knew I’d been ditched by my date. “Just some guy from school who apparently is back with his girlfriend. You know, the usual guy stuff.”
“Yeah, guys can be assholes,” he said.
Shaking my head, I peered up at him, almost a whole foot taller than me. “You guys didn’t have to come down here. It’s completely unnecessary. I don’t know what Mac was thinking.”
Reilly nudged me with his elbow, and it was somehow reassuring. “We weren’t doing anything anyway.”
“Ha! Yeah right. You guys were having a blast playing your major-league video game and eating Mrs. Turner’s famous chocolate chip cookies.”
Reilly chuckled and with a single nod, he looked at me again. “That’s true. How did you know?”
“I know everything you guys do.”
Reilly’s eyebrow lifted in curiosity. “Do you now?”
It suddenly felt strange having his gaze on me. I shrugged. “Of course. I’m sure you and Nick can surmise just about everything Mac and I do, too.”
With a smirk, Reilly’s stance widened. I heard what I assumed was a sigh. “I didn’t know you guys were at the dance tonight,” he admitted.
“No?”
“I knew you were thinking about it, but—I didn’t think it was really your scene.”
“It’s definitely not,” I agreed. “But you know Mac.”
With another chuckle, he said, “Yes, I do.”
After a few moments of us staring out at the crowd, my mind began reeling. Nick and Reilly, who hate dances—who have never been to one, even as seniors—were here with us now.
“You look nice tonight,” he said. “And Harlon’s an idiot for ditching you.”
The heat in my chest spread to my cheeks, and I ventured a glance at him. “Thanks.” I said it more quietly than I’d meant to.
Reilly didn’t bother looking at me, which felt even more strange, like he was avoiding my gaze.
Desperate to fill the silence, I cleared my throat and looked back out at the couples on the dance floor, searching for something else to say. Some of them were leaving the group, others were joining as another slow song began.
Reilly finally looked at me, scratching the back of his head. “So, since this is a dance and all . . .” He gestured toward the dance floor. “Shall we?”
The fact that one of my best friends was asking me to dance shouldn’t have been so nerve-racking, but something in his blue eyes confused me and the air between us was off-kilter. It made me feel unlike myself. Forcing a cool façade, I nodded and took his offered hand, warm and big compared to mine.
Suddenly, I was grateful Mac had guilted me into staying. I’m not sure if it was the turn of events, my adrenaline and surprise, or the fact that my stomach was summersaulting all the way to the dance floor, but the night felt a little epic indeed.
SPRING
Four
Something More
Reilly
Six Years Ago
“I gotta take a leak,” Nick said, rising from his spot beside me on a fallen log. “I’ll be back.”
“Make sure you shake it real good!” Mac called to him from the dock.
Sam’s melodic laugh trilled above the sound of the harmonica floating through the stereo speakers, but I tried not to notice.
By summer, I would be gone. Away from my friends . . . away from Sam. The couple months I’d spent talking to her by the lake had felt like a puzzle. I couldn’t quite see the bigger picture but I felt it, fuzzy in the periphery. I think I was scared to see it, actually. It had become more and more difficult to keep my focus, even if I knew what I had to do.
Since I started senior year, I’d had one single goal: finish the year with passing grades, give it my all in baseball, then leave the dark cloud that was my life behind me, and explore life far, far away from Saratoga Falls. Away from my dad.
From my seat on the old, oak log on the bank of the lake, I stared out at the water’s rippling surface. Leaving used to be a day that wouldn’t come fast enough. I knew there had to be a better life for me out there, I’d been practically salivating for it, and determined to experience it after high school.
I popped the top off a longneck bottle of beer, from one of two six-packs Nick scored for us through Slinsky, the slime of the slime on the team. I took a long pull of the light beer, hoping the carbonation was the refreshing zap I needed to forget about my blonde-haired conundrum, laughing obliviously up on the dock. But the effect was lackluster; the beer tasted like warm piss, as Mac always said.
Staring down at the bottle, I wondered why I was even drinking it. I mentally shrugged. There was nothing else to do, at least not when I wasn’t practicing my swing or dodging my dad.
I glanced over at Sam and Mac, sitting on the edge of the dock, their short-clad legs hanging over the edge. Something had changed between us—all of us, but particularly me and Sam. I didn’t used to think one way or the other about the crew, they were simply a staple in my life—one of a few things that were consistent and reliable.
I wasn’t sure if it was time or age or everything in between, but Nick wasn’t just my best friend anymore, he was more like a brother; Mac and Sam were more like sisters I felt protective of—but Sam . . . Something definitely changed. I looked forward to seeing her, differently than before. Was it the way she’d looked at th
e dance that had been inching its way deeper into my sub-consciousness, or just that I knew her differently than before, spending so much time with her alone at the lake? I didn’t know if it was a good or a bad thing, especially since I was leaving after graduation.
Soft giggling behind me stole my attention once more. Sam leaned back on her palms and her amber eyes skirted over to mine so quickly, I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it. Her smile wavered, and she adjusted her glasses. A nervous habit I’d begun to notice. Just like she shoved her hands in her back pockets when she didn’t know what to say.
I took another slug of my beer and tried to ignore the affect her blonde, disheveled hair and golden skin had on me. I couldn’t stop noticing her quirks; things that fascinated me and made me want to smile randomly at the risk of looking like a complete ass.
She had to know how cute she was. Right?
“Take a picture, Reilly, it’ll last longer.” Mac flashed a toothy grin, winked, and with a whip of her coffee-colored hair turned back to her tittering with Sam.
“You’re hilarious,” I deadpanned. Then flushed and looked away.
Pressing the bottle to my mouth, I took another gulp, then another before I ran my hand gruffly over my face. It was hard to tell if I saw Sam looking at me differently or if it was all in my head. Somehow, I thought she could see the real me, the uncertain and completely confused graduating senior that should have his shit together, but didn’t—at all.
Nick emerged from behind a sprawling oak. “Much better,” he said with a contented sigh, and he plopped back down beside me, his beer still in hand. “There’s nothing like answering to an incessant call from Mother Nature.”
I made a noncommittal noise, but didn’t dare risk glancing back in Sam and Mac’s direction.
Nick looked at me. No, he stared, waiting.
My gaze shifted to him. “What?”
“What’s up with you? You’re being weird today.”
“No, I’m not. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure about that?” he asked with a chuckle and glanced over at the girls.
I frowned and bent over to pick through some of the clay rocks that were strung along the lakeshore. Nick followed suit, waiting patiently for me to say something else. His fingers were stained a rust color from working in the dirt so much around the ranch this summer.
“Just a lot on my mind, I guess.” I leaned back and skipped a flat-ish rock across the water’s surface. “It just sucks that the school year’s almost over.”
Nick tilted his head, a knowing expression lifting his eyebrow. “I thought you couldn’t wait to get out of here?”
I shrugged because I wasn’t sure how to answer. I could have told him that I was completely second-guessing the plan I’d set in motion by enlisting. I could have told him it was all Sam’s fault and that no matter how much I’d tried to brush my attraction to her away and minimize it to nothing but a summer crush, I thought it might be another discomforting lie.
Nick picked at the palm of his hand. “Are you nervous about being deployed?”
“No.” Not nervous.
He selected a couple more rocks from the water’s edge. “This is about Sam, isn’t it?” he said more quietly.
I looked at him, partially gratefully and surprised.
“Dude, it’s so obvious there’s something going on between the two of you.”
“There’s nothing going on,” I reassured him.
Nick grunted in disbelief. “Whatever you say.” He leaned forward, draping his elbows on his knees, holding his beer in one hand as he rolled rocks around in the other.
“Nothing’s happened, it’s just—”
“You guys are just different around each other now. Yeah, I know. Like I said, it’s really obvious.”
When Sam’s eyes shifted to me again, her cheeks flushed instead of mine, like she’d been caught. Whatever was between us, she felt it too.
“It was the dance,” I admitted aloud.
“What was?”
“When things . . . changed.”
Nick fluttered his eyelashes. “Was it the pretty dress?” he asked in a high-pitch soprano and I punched him in the arm.
“Shut up. And no, it wasn’t the dress. Not entirely. I’ve been confused for a while, but the dance sort of made it impossible to ignore any longer. If that makes sense.”
“Don’t tell me you were jealous when you heard she was going to the dance with nerd-boy Harlon.”
But I couldn’t tell him he was wrong, because that would have been a lie too. “When Mac told us he blew Sam off, I remember thinking he wasn’t good enough for her anyway, and it bothered me that she might’ve gone on a date with him. Of course, he’s an idiot so I don’t have to worry about that anymore.” I shrugged and glanced at the girls laying back in the sunshine, their whispers barely reaching my ears. “I’m not sure what to do.”
“Why don’t you just go with the flow instead of trying to figure it all out,” Nick offered, and I liked how easy that sounded. But it didn’t feel that easy. “What if it doesn’t work out?” I would lose one of my best friends.
“What if it does?”
“Well, I’m leaving soon,” I reminded him.
Nick shrugged. “You could change your mind.”
“I dunno.” I ran my hand over my face, grabbed my empty beer bottle, and rose to my feet. “As nasty as this crap is, I’m grabbing another one. You want?”
Nick nodded and guzzled down what was left of his before handing it over to me.
“Coming right up.” I walked over to the ice chest, tossed in the two empty bottles and replaced them with cold ones.
“Mind grabbing me one?” Sam chirped, and I peered up at her.
“Yeah, sure. You want one for Mac, too?”
She shook her head. “Since we’re not big fans, they’ll get warm too quickly. We’ll share.”
“Got it.” I handed her a cold bottle.
Sam smiled a thank you, but didn’t say anything for a moment. The afternoon sun made her amber eyes glitter and my mouth run dry. “I haven’t seen you down here much lately,” she finally said, and glanced down the deer path that bent around the lake, toward my house. “Have you been pretty busy?”
“Yeah, I’ve had a lot going on with graduation around the corner,” I fibbed. Mostly, I’d been avoiding meeting her at the dock in fear of what I would say.
“You must be excited.” Even though she was smiling, it didn’t reach her eyes. “It will be weird not seeing you and Nick at school every day.”
“I know. I’ve been thinking about that too. So much is changing.”
Her mouth quirked up in the corner and I wanted to know what she was thinking. “How are things on your side of the lake?” I decided the idle conversation was safer than the silence. Not to mention, I knew life since her dad married Nick’s aunt Alison had been really rough on her, which is why the lake had become such a watering hole for us both.
“They’re okay. The same, I guess. It could be worse, though. That’s what I keep telling myself.” Her shy smile widened, but she couldn’t fool me, not anymore. I knew Sam better than she realized.
“That bad, huh?”
Her smile faltered, but only a little, and she shrugged. “It sucks when you don’t want to be in your own house, is all.”
I knew exactly how she felt. “I’m sorry, Sam. I’d invite you to crash at my house when you need a place, but that’s a worse punishment, I promise you.”
She nudged me with the bottle of beer in her hand. “Hey, at least it’s summer so we have every excuse to get out of the house, right?”
Appreciating how her face lit up when she was at ease, I allowed myself to smile in response. Yeah, it was definitely good to get out of the house. “Especially lately . . .”
Did I actually just say that? I wanted to smash my head into the nearest tree trunk, feeling like a complete ass for being such a goober. That sounded like a line Nick would give some girl, waggling his e
yebrows with a suggestive smile.
Sam blinked, slow and thoughtful. Did she understand what I’d meant or had I lost her? “I should be able to ride after dinner, now that it’s light so late, which will be nice—another excuse to get out of the house.” Her lips crept into a shy grin.
And come down to meet me at the lake, I realized.
She tilted her head, her smile encouraging a hopefulness I didn’t quite understand, and I couldn’t resist what would likely be my last school-boy grin. “Cool.”
Five
Kiss and Tell
Sam
Six Years Ago
Sometimes, riding was the only thing I felt connected to at home. Everything had been different since Papa married Alison. Inside, the house felt like a different world, like I had to walk on eggshells around the two of them and had to watch every little thing that I said in order to avoid one of Alison’s mood swings or manic meltdowns. After a few months, I’d learned that keeping my mouth shut and myself locked upstairs in my room was the best way to co-exist inside the farmhouse. But outside . . . outside on the ranch, I didn’t have to worry about any of that. It was my own domain; Alison never went out there. Outside, with the horses and chores, Papa was just Papa, and we did our thing, for a little while, at least.
Eventually, everything was tainted by my new stepmom, and if I was going to keep some of my sanity, I knew I needed a girl’s day with Mac, especially after what happened with Reilly the other night down at the lake.
When Mac strode out of the stable, pulling her hair up into a ponytail, my cheeks flushed at the memory of him. I’d have to tell her what happened, even if I had no idea how. Reilly wasn’t some guy she knew I was crushing on. He was our best friend, and even talking to him most nights on the dock seemed so big I didn’t know how to tell her. A kiss though . . . that was huge.
“Thanks for coming over, Mac. I know horses aren’t really your thing. But it’s that or feeding chickens and I know they creep you out.”
Saratoga Falls: The Complete Love Story Series Page 98