Impossible Liaison

by Anne Ashby

  “Now I know there are advantages to not having family falling all over you.”

  Zoe chuckled. She slid her finger down his cheek when a low growl escaped his throat as he held his hips against hers for one last moment before he swore under his breath and disappeared through the door.

  “What sort of drink, Dad?” Connor called from the kitchen.

  Zoe hugged the certain knowledge he needed some time to compose himself before returning to the family mustered around the barbeque on the back lawn.

  Peeking around the bedroom door, and seeing the coast was clear, Zoe made a dash for the bathroom and locked the door. Gripping the sides of the vanity she looked into the mirror, hardly recognizing the face staring back at her.

  Her spiked hair had been flattened. Thank goodness she hadn’t just walked back outside. Everyone would have wondered about the high color in her cheeks and the sparkle in her eyes, too.

  Filling the sink with cold water, she kept splashing her face, contemplating sinking her whole head under the water. Next she fluffed her hair to encourage the spikes to stick out again. This was a minister’s house, for heaven’s sake. She couldn’t go back out there looking like some wanton woman who’d just been ravished.

  When she was satisfied her heart rate had slowed to a couple of hundred beats a minute, she unlocked the door. Can I look at Connor after what just happened—what might have happened if we hadn’t been interrupted? She hoped so, ’cause she didn’t want to embarrass anyone, especially herself.

  Zoe cursed she only had one more day in Wellington. She had absolutely no idea when Connor was returning to Auckland. It could be a couple of weeks.

  The upcoming separation would be hell if they couldn’t talk first. I need to understand his intentions. She buried her chin in her chest, a silly smile twisting her lips as the old-fashioned thought jumped into her mind. But that was exactly what she wanted to know. Is he serious, or is he just playing with me?

  Coldness ran through her veins despite the blazing sun. Am I allowing unfounded wishful dreams of a happy future to invade my mind? Should I be keeping a firmer grip on these wayward thoughts?

  She struggled to swallow a sudden sour taste in her mouth. Her head drooped. How many times have I dropped into that hole before? Allowing myself to expect the best, only to have my dreams blow up in my face.

  No! No, I have to get a grip. Stop dreaming. Her hands gripped the armrests of the deckchair tightly as she repeated the mantra under her breath. Stop dreaming, stop dreaming, stop dreaming.

  A furtive sideways glance at Connor talking to her uncles saw him stop, in what appeared to be mid-sentence, and look across at her. He frowned.

  Her gaze darted back to the tips of her toes and she focused on them, warning herself she wasn’t to look Connor’s way again.

  “Are you doing anything tomorrow, Mum? Would there be any chance of my borrowing your car for the day?”

  Zoe’s head stayed down. She was afraid to hope Connor might seek to ease her anguish. The breath caught in her throat as she chewed on her bottom lip.

  “Of course, what were you thinking of doing?”

  “Oh, nothing definite.” Connor spoke lightly; although Zoe wasn’t fooled, she hoped everyone else was. “This is Zoe’s first trip to Wellington. I think it’s about time she saw something of the city other than the Matthews’ houses.”

  Hoping no one heard the whoosh of air escape from her, Zoe allowed herself a minute of hope. Being a little bit optimistic would be okay, wouldn’t it? That doesn’t mean I’m gullible, does it?

  “Hey, that’s a great idea, Con.” Natasha jumped up. “We can do a tiki tour, then dinner, and maybe go clubbing. What do you say, Zoe? Are you keen?”

  Zoe was saved the need to lie when Connor leaned over and grasping his cousin in a gentle headlock, murmured succinctly, “You’re not invited, squirt.”

  Able to hide her tension, and relief, under the family’s burst of laughter, Zoe sent the indignant Natasha an apologetic glance. But she made no attempt to ask Connor to include her in the proposed outing.

  “Have a lovely day tomorrow, Zoe.” Bess said as they hugged goodnight on the front steps. “I expect it’ll be nice having a little quiet time.” The twinkle in her grandmother’s eyes told her Bess understood how these last few days—so different from what she was accustomed to—had strained the younger woman.

  Connor stuck his head around the door, making his comment sound casual. “I’ll pick you up at ten.”

  “It’s lovely to see you two getting along now.”

  Zoe almost swallowed her tongue. Bess was very astute. Does she see what is going on here?

  “He was protecting you, Gran. That didn’t make for the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

  “I know.” Bess brushed her lips across Zoe’s cheek and with a half wave, disappeared inside, leaving a frowning Zoe staring after her.

  “You ready?” Natasha touched her arm.

  “Yes, sorry. I was dreaming.” More like worrying, she conceded as she sank into the shadowed darkness inside David’s car. Worried she might be expecting too much of tomorrow.

  Windy Wellington is renowned for lousy weather. But the next day dawned bright and sunny with a mere whisper of a breeze. Nervously joining Connor in his mother’s little runabout, Zoe soon relaxed as Connor set about showing her the sights of the capital city.

  Conversation between them flowed and ebbed as they jumped from sight to sight, Connor often reading droll snippets from a tourist booklet he’d produced at their first stop. His story-telling ability extended beyond his own personal experiences, she discovered, as he wove tall tales of unlikely adventures.

  She eventually managed to catch her breath after one of his more audacious stories. “I never guessed you had such a great sense of humor.”

  His raised eyebrows registered surprise as he leaned back on a bench seat overlooking Lyall Bay. He watched her through narrowed eyes.

  “You’ve always been such a grump,” she dared to tease.

  He straightened, an indignant expression on his face. “I was not. You appeared to enjoy annoying me.”

  “Oh I did. I loved getting a rise out—”

  Her voice faded and their gaze locked when both picked up the double entendre at the same time.

  “I…I mean—” Her face burned.

  “I know what you mean.” Connor focused on her lips. The tip of her tongue swept across them as her mouth suddenly dried. His fingers gently caressed her face.

  “I swore I’d make this a carefree day, free from any emotional tension…”

  Somehow, they were sitting closer, his fingers now kneading the back of her neck.

  “Did you?” Zoe whispered back. “Why would you go and do a silly thing like that?”

  “Who knows?” Their lips were almost touching. “Maybe ’cause I thought that’s what you wanted?”

  “Uh-ha,” she denied as her lips began to nibble at his. Her hands rubbed up and down his chest, absently wishing his shirt had buttons so she could burrow through to feel his bare skin under her fingers.

  For a second she’d been in control, but he soon took over. His kiss gentle, in comparison with yesterday’s, but Zoe discovered it produced the same light headiness and aching need deep in the pit of her stomach.

  Was it seconds or minutes later when Connor tore himself away, to drag huge breaths into his lungs?

  Zoe admitted feeling a little breathless herself as she looked at him. “Connor?” She bit her lip.

  There must have been something in her expression alerting him to her concern. He leaned over and kissed her with such sweet gentleness, tears welled up in her eyes. “I think I could learn to care for you a great deal,” he whispered.

  Connor’s face blurred even more as her slowly recovering heart began to race again. She sniffed, feeling her whole body beginning to shake.

  He searched her eyes. “Do you think we could put those first few weeks behind us and start
again? See if there could be something more between us than this infernal itch”—Zoe’s gaze followed his hand as it fell to adjust his shorts—“that desperately needs scratching?”

  Zoe reached out. “Perhaps I could—”

  Before it could make contact, Connor took her hand and raised it to his lips. “There’s no hurry,” he murmured as he tormented her with kisses across her palm and along the soft underside of her arm. “Let’s enjoy exploring the road together.”

  He jumped up, tugging her to her feet. “In fact, I’m getting hungry. Let’s buy some food and we’ll find a quiet spot near the river for a picnic.”

  Running to keep up with him, as he rushed her back to the car, Zoe wasn’t sure what had just happened. His laughing face, as he hugged her and planted a quick kiss on her lips before he unlocked the car, reassured her a quick roll in the hay didn’t seem to be on his priority list right now.

  Watching from the car as he stocked up on some goodies from a small lunch bar, Zoe frowned as she tried to assimilate Connor’s behaviors compared to other men. She’d always assumed getting a girl into the sack was their main ambition, yet when she’d… Why hadn’t he leapt at the offer? Heat blazed into her cheeks at her audacity.

  Chewing her lip as she struggled to figure him out, Zoe called a hasty answer to his question of which flavor drink she preferred, hoping he’d be tied up for just a few more moments. Just long enough for her face to lose its embarrassed flush.

  Had he been offended?

  The truth suddenly struck. Of course he had. She gasped. He is a minister’s son, well, been raised in a Christian home, anyway. Oh, no. She buried her face in her hands. I came onto him and he’d been repulsed by my forwardness.

  But he’d come on to me that day on the beach, she rationalized her thoughts.

  Yeah, but that was when he didn’t care about you, a little voice whispered in his ear.

  “I can’t leave you alone for a moment, can I?” Connor’s brusque voice demanded as he slammed the back door after putting his purchases on the seat.

  She tried to smile as he slid in beside her, but he wasn’t fooled.

  “What silly ideas are flying around inside your head now?”

  Zoe glared at him. What gives him the idea he can talk to me like that? But his gentle, concerned smile melted her heart.

  Making no attempt to start the car, Connor put his arm across the back of her seat and demanded, “What’s wrong this time?”

  “This time?” She couldn’t tell him, could she?

  “Yeah, this time.” He released a frustrated breath. “Look, yesterday we managed to grab a couple of minutes together, and then you got all tied up in knots about something. The same thing is happening now.”

  His fingers turned her stubborn chin until he could look into her face. “Tell me?”

  Shaking her head did no good. He merely held her chin a little more firmly and started teasing her—sweet, gentle little butterfly touches draining the worry from her.

  “If you don’t tell me, I’m going to have to assume you don’t enjoy me kissing you,” he murmured between more insistent little pecks. “Perhaps I should stop…”

  “No, don’t do that.” The words jumped from her mouth before she gave any thought to them.

  Connor gave an exaggerated sigh. “So you do enjoy kissing?” He leaned back, looking down at her with a quirk of his left eyebrow. “Maybe I’m not doing it right. Should I change my technique?”

  Exasperated, Zoe jerked away.

  After one last caress down her cheek with his hand, Connor, too, sat back. “What’s wrong, Zoe?” His voice had lost its teasing quality and, when she glanced at him, his expression had grown deadly serious.

  “If there’s any hope for this thing between us, we have to be honest with each other. I want the chance to get to know the real you, the girl you keep hidden away deep inside. I can’t do that unless you let me, babe. Please, tell me what’s frightened you?”

  “Nothing’s frightened me.” She clenched her fists in her lap.

  He waited while the silence got longer and longer, more and more oppressive.

  Finally she could stand the stillness no longer. “All right,” she muttered, almost under her breath. “I’m sorry. Okay, I apologize.” She couldn’t look at him, but stared out the window instead.

  “Zoe?” His hand covered her clenched fists. “I don’t understand. What have you got to apologize for?”

  “For coming on to you.”

  “For coming on to me?” The astonishment in his voice jerked her head around. “Why would that warrant an apology?”

  His hand tightened. “I was blown away…” His voice faded away as their gaze met, joint merriment suddenly lightening the situation.

  “I guess that’s one each.” Zoe counted the double entendres. Then she admitted her concern. “I thought I’d offended you. When you didn’t want…” She stumbled to a stop, burning heat back in her cheeks, but having the nerve to remain in eye contact with him.

  “Not want?” He kissed her firmly before turning aside to start the car. “Not want?” he repeated, as if reinforcing the point to Zoe.

  His sideward glance and the muttered, “If only you knew,” was enough to produce another glow to Zoe’s cheeks. This time the flush had nothing to do with embarrassment.

  ****

  Roaring up to the back door and parking her bike, Zoe rushed inside. She and Connor were going out to dinner. For the first time since he’d returned from Wellington, they’d finally managed, largely via notes stuck onto the fridge, to arrange an evening when they were both free.

  Connor was at the kitchen door to meet her, his broad grin drawing a purely physical response in the pit of her stomach. A response she no longer feared.

  He stole a quick kiss before murmuring, “Gran was delighted when I told her we’re going to dinner.”

  Later home than she’d intended to be, his words halted Zoe’s dash to get ready. “What did she say?” Zoe whispered feeling heat rising into her cheeks. “Did she guess we’re…?”

  Her voice faded as she realized she couldn’t continue. We’re what? In love? But are we?

  Looking at Connor leaning against the bench, a satisfied smile on his face, Zoe knew how she felt. She loved him, loved him desperately. A smile tugged at her lips as she imagined them together, their own little home with its white picket fence, noisy children running in the yard.

  “One thing I know we agree on…”

  His chuckling reply dragged her back to the present.

  “Our grandmother is not stupid.”

  “No.”

  “I doubt she’ll interfere.”

  He touched her arm, frowning as he rubbed the leather between them. His gaze wandered up to her mouth, where the tip of her tongue sneaked out to tantalize him.

  “I guess I’d better get ready.”

  “You have all the time in the world,” he assured her as their bodies swayed toward each other. “I’ve booked the table at eight.”

  “Okay.”

  As the whispered word escaped her, he glanced toward the lounge and with a regretful grimace, pulled back. Zoe’s gaze followed his. Living with Bess was wonderful, Bess was wonderful, but right at this moment, Zoe wished Gran was a million miles away.

  “Call if I can do anything to help.” Glancing over her shoulder she saw ruddy color burning his face.

  “Like wash my back?” The murmured words sent a vision so vivid into her mind, her whole body trembled.

  His hands dropping, not quickly enough to shield the evidence, suggested he’d envisioned a similar scene.

  Zoe ducked her head as she escaped to her bedroom, hugging the warmth of her happiness, and his slightly embarrassed smile, to herself as she decided what to wear.

  This would be their first date. She had to wear something really nice, and yet, flicking through her wardrobe, nothing leapt out at her as being special enough for tonight.

  ****

 
; “Why do nightclubs persist in playing such loud music?” Connor growled as he handed Zoe into his car much later.

  He missed her reply but knew she’d have welcomed something much slower, too.

  “What happened to good old-fashioned dancing, where you got to hold your partner in your arms?” he continued grumbling as he started the car. “I was looking forward to—”

  “What? Making out on the dance floor?”

  “Mmm.” He shot her a look. “Don’t try and tell me you weren’t thinking the same thing.” His smile widened. “’Cause I won’t believe you.”

  He burst out laughing as she glanced toward the back seat and she wriggled her eyebrows.

  “Don’t you think we’re a bit old?” He gave a choked laugh as, nevertheless, he checked out the area, too.

  “Maybe it’s more comfortable than it looks?”

  They both turned to survey the minuscule space.

  “No.” They spoke in unison then laughed.

  “I think it’s time I sorted out somewhere to live.” Connor sighed as he set the car in motion. “Somewhere…private.”

  He grasped her hand and held it on his thigh, wishing he had the nerve to edge it higher, to press it against his rock hardness. But he made himself be content with the gentle caress of her fingers on his leg. At least she hadn’t attempted to take her hand away.

  Determined to find somewhere quiet, he swung along Tamaki Drive, hoping the tide was out and beaches alongside the road might be dark and secluded enough to indulge in a little more intimacy than the nightclub had allowed.

  Zoe’s smile as their gazes met caused his foot to press a little heavier on the accelerator.

  The thumping in his chest, as he parked at the far end of the Promenade at Mission Bay, was loud enough to subdue music filtering out from the still-open restaurant bar.

  He cleared a lump in his throat. “Would you like a drink?” He swallowed hard. “Or some dessert?” His body craved dessert of a different kind.

  Zoe’s gaze swung from the crowded sidewalk across the reserve toward the sea. “I’d rather we went for a walk along the beach.”