“That’s a shame. Deep down, I’ve always been a romantic. I love happy endings.” Then, after a moment, her smile returned. “Perhaps you will have a love match with Mr. Bachman. You two have been together.” She blushed again and cleared her throat. “I’m not spying on either of you. I just happened to notice that you two were taking a walk together when I was going past a window.”
“I know you aren’t spying on us,” she hurried to reassure her.
Patricia had had the heavy feeling of being watched after the gypsy had placed the curse on her and her mother. She hadn’t felt it at Ichabod’s estate, nor did she feel it here. Lewis had done as he’d promised. He had kept her safe. She turned her gaze to the girl in her arms. It was a good thing Lewis had brought her here. She had this innocent little person to care for.
“You’re ready to go downstairs,” Marcy said once she finished pinning the last of Patricia’s hair in place. “Would you like me to help you?”
Patricia nodded and held the baby out to her. “Hold her for me.”
Marcy gently took the baby in her arms. Patricia couldn’t blame her for being timid. It’d taken Patricia a couple of hours before she knew she wasn’t making her daughter uncomfortable. Loretta had told her to make sure she supported the baby’s head. “It’ll be a little while before a baby can hold his, or her, head up without assistance,” Loretta had warned.
Stephen seemed to have already known this since he’d held the baby as if it was the most natural thing in the world. It was a good thing he’d been the one to help her with the delivery.
The process of walking down the hall and going down the stairs went slower than Patricia had anticipated. She was surprised that, in addition to being sore, her muscles were also stiff. Marcy followed her, still carrying the child.
When they finally arrived at the drawing room, Loretta and Stephen were talking. Stephen was bouncing a happy Edmund on his lap. Rosamond was playing with an ivory doll.
Janus was eating next to Loretta on the settee.
“I wish I had known,” Loretta was telling Stephen. “I would have come over yesterday.”
“Patricia needed her rest,” Stephen replied. “She was up late in the night. I don’t think she was up to receiving visitors.”
Rosamond looked over at Patricia and Marcy. Her gaze went directly to the baby. “There’s the baby!” she called out to Loretta before running over to Marcy.
Chuckling, Marcy gave the baby to Patricia. “When you need to return to your bedchamber, summon me, and I’ll help you up the stairs.”
“Can I hold her?” Rosamond asked as Marcy left the room.
“Oh, well…” Patricia glanced at Loretta. Was a five year old able to properly hold a baby? Rosamond did have two little brothers, one of which had just turned four months old.
Loretta sighed. “Rosamond, I told you not to ask your aunt that.”
Stephen picked Edmund up in his arm and got up from the chair. “Your aunt just had the baby yesterday,” he told Rosamond. “I think you should wait until the baby is older. They aren’t like dolls. They can get hurt if you’re not careful.” He went over to Patricia. “Why don’t you take that chair?” He gestured to the one he’d just been sitting in. “It’s the most comfortable one in the room.”
Patricia stared at him for a moment. He seemed so much more at ease today. He was more like the person she’d gotten to know before he’d holed himself up in his bedchamber for a few days. She wished he was always like this. It was a very pleasant side of him.
“When can I hold the baby?” Rosamond asked Stephen as Patricia settled into the chair.
“That’ll be up to your aunt to decide,” Stephen told the girl.
“I’m surprised you want to hold her,” Loretta said. “You thought your brothers were boring.” She glanced at Patricia. “She only held Edmund one time, and that was when I was sitting right next to her.”
Rosamond went over to Patricia and peered down at the baby. “This is a girl. She can play dolls with me.”
Patricia smiled. “Someday, she will. Right now, she’s too young.”
Rosamond frowned. “Why do all babies have to be little?”
“Ladies can’t give birth to children your size,” Loretta told her. “It’s impossible.”
Patricia’s gaze went to Stephen, wondering what he thought of the conversation since he was a gentleman. Did this kind of thing bother him?
To her surprise, Stephen laughed. “Part of the fun of having children is that they start out little. It gives parents, aunts, and uncles time to enjoy being with them. Before long, they’ll be all grown up. We need to make the most of the time that we have.”
Though Rosamond didn’t seem particularly impressed with his words, Patricia thought they were sweet.
“I got to deliver the baby,” Stephen told Loretta.
Loretta’s eyes grew wide. “You did?”
He nodded. “It was a beautiful experience.”
“I thought you were scared,” Patricia blurted out before she could stop herself. In a million years, she never would have thought he’d say delivering a child was a beautiful experience. Not when he and Marcy had argued over who had to do it.
“I was scared at the time,” he admitted. “I’d never done it before. I was afraid I was going to do something wrong. But once the baby was in my hands, I realized I had just witnessed someone coming into the world.” He paused for a moment then added, “It’s probably my best memory.”
Patricia relaxed. “That’s good. I thought I had terrified you for life when I said I couldn’t wait for the doctor.”
Loretta chuckled. “Stephen is braver than most. He’ll be a good father.”
“Yes, he will be,” Patricia agreed.
Stephen’s smile widened, and Patricia came to realize just how much he wanted to be the girl’s father. “Do you want to hold her?” Patricia offered.
“I’ll take Edmund,” Loretta offered.
He got up and handed Edmund to her before he took a chair and pulled it up to Patricia’s. Then he accepted the newborn into his arms. He smiled at the girl and tapped her nose with his finger. She looked up at him, as if trying to figure out who he was.
Patricia laughed. “Don’t you remember him? He’s the first person you saw when you came into the world.”
“That might be true,” Stephen said, “but she went through a lot that night. It wasn’t easy on her to come into a cold, unfamiliar world.” He glanced at her. “You did a lot of work, too. I’m glad I was in the room when she was born.”
“Stephen,” Loretta began, “I think you’re the only gentleman, besides a doctor, who’ll ever say that. My husband, for one, nearly faints when I mention I’m ready to have a baby. He never would have made it through the experience.”
“Stephen did a wonderful job.” Noting the way Stephen was holding the baby, Patricia added, “It’s as if he was born to take care of children.”
“I agree,” Loretta said. “Stephen, you have a gift for dealing with children. When I told Rosamond and Janus we were coming here today, they got excited. They love spending time with you. Even if you didn’t give them gifts, they’d still want to be here.”
“We’re not getting gifts anymore?” Rosamond asked, glancing from her mother to her uncle as if the thought could very well mean the end of the world.
“I would never do that,” Stephen assured his niece. “I get to spoil you and your brothers. With my daughter, I have to discipline and guide her along. A father’s role is different from an uncle’s role.” His gaze went to Patricia’s. “I’ll be the best father I can be.”
“I know you will,” Patricia whispered.
Rosamond went over to him and studied the girl. The girl, in turn, seemed to study her.
Stephen glanced at Patricia. “If I were to put Rosamond on my lap and let her hold the baby, would that be all right? I’ll make sure she holds the baby securely.”
Since Rosamond perked up in excit
ement, Patricia didn’t have the heart to say no. Besides, Stephen would make sure she was careful with her daughter.
Once Patricia nodded her agreement, Stephen let Rosamond climb up in his lap. Then he instructed her on how to hold the girl, making sure to keep his arm around the baby, too.
“What do you think?” Patricia asked Rosamond.
“She’s like a doll,” Rosamond said. “But she’s real.”
“Yes, she is,” Stephen replied with a chuckle.
“Does she have a name?” Rosamond asked.
Stephen looked at Patricia expectantly.
Patricia shrugged. “I haven’t picked anything yet. What name do you like?”
“Are you asking me?” Stephen replied.
“Yes. Do you have a name that you like?” Patricia asked. “I was going to name the baby Lewis if it was a boy, but I hadn’t picked out a name for a girl. I’d like for you to do that.”
After a moment, he said, “I’ve always liked the name Susanna.”
Patricia smiled. “I like that. Let’s call her Susanna.”
He returned her smile then turned his attention back to Rosamond and the baby.
Chapter Thirteen
Patricia hoped Stephen would join her for dinner in the dining room. The visit with his sister had been a pleasant one. She thought it might have been just what Stephen needed to come out of his shell. And thankfully, it had been because he was waiting for her when she went to the drawing room.
“Is Susanna sleeping?” Stephen asked as he got up from his chair.
She nodded. “I think all the activity wore her out.”
“I should have known Rosamond was going to be intrigued by her. Rosamond loves dolls. To her, Susanna is better than a doll because she moves.”
“Rosamond is very sweet. Maybe she’ll be like an older sister to her.”
“At the very least, she’ll be a good older cousin.” He gestured to a chair. “You should sit. I’m sure you’re still tired.”
“Actually, it feels good to stand. I’ve been sitting or lying down a lot. My body feels stiff.”
“Then do you want to take a walk tomorrow?”
“I wouldn’t mind a short one. I can’t walk too far, and I can’t walk too fast.” She didn’t want to tell him it was because she felt sore in a very personal place. Somehow that seemed like too much information to tell someone, even if that someone delivered her baby.
“Are you sure you wanted me to name her?” Stephen asked.
“Yes. I couldn’t come up with any names I liked. I think Susanna is a lovely name. I want to keep it.”
He smiled in a way that indicated he was pleased by her words.
“Stephen, can I ask you why you stayed in your bedchamber for so long?”
His smile faltered, and she wondered if she was pushing him for too much information. He hadn’t said she couldn’t ask him something like that when she signed the contract. He’d only stipulated that she couldn’t ask him about the past. He hadn’t said anything about the present.
But even so, she worried he might retreat back within himself, so she hurried to add, “This place wasn’t the same without you. I missed talking to you.”
It took a few moments before he finally responded to her. “You see the color of my mask?”
Not sure what the color of his mask had to do with anything, she nodded. “It’s black.”
“Every color in this place is a representation of what something stands for. This room is red because conversations take place here. It’s stimulating.”
“Yes, you already mentioned that. And the dining room is blue because you want people to feel relaxed when they eat. I don’t understand what that has to do with the fact that you were in your bedchamber for days.”
“My mask is black because it’s a reflection of my soul.”
A reflection of his soul? What did that mean?
“Dinner is ready,” the butler called out.
She jerked, unaware that the butler had come to the doorway. She put her hand over her heart and released her breath.
“My apologies,” the butler said. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
She offered him a smile to let him know it was all right.
“We’ll be there in a moment,” Stephen told the butler.
The butler nodded and left them alone.
Stephen turned his attention back to her. “Sometimes I need to remember what I once was so I don’t become that person again. I wasn’t in my bedchamber because I didn’t want to talk to you. In fact, it had nothing to do with you.”
Since he had referred to his past, and she wasn’t at liberty to respond on that point, she settled for asking, “Will you do this kind of thing often?”
“Stay in my bedchamber for days at a time?”
She nodded.
“I hadn’t thought about it,” he said. “I’m used to being alone. I can stay in my bedchamber, and no one ever misses me.”
His voice drifted off, and she got the impression that he wanted to say more…maybe something to the effect that no one would have care if he died. Which wouldn’t be true. His sister and her family would care. It was obvious they loved him. The children, especially, would miss him. And she would, too. It’d been a long time since she felt a connection to another person. A real connection. One she could truly belong to in this large and foreboding world. Not that she wasn’t grateful to Lewis. She was. But Lewis wasn’t Stephen.
Finally, she opted to say, “I missed you. I would prefer it if you didn’t do that again. I can’t tell you what to do, of course. You have to do what you feel is best. I don’t know the person you used to be, and I’m not going to ask about it because I promised not to. What I do know is that no one is perfect. We all do things that are wrong at some point.” She paused then added, “I trust Lewis. If he says you’re a good person, I believe that is what you are. I don’t think you need to wear a black mask to represent the darkness from your past.”
“I need the mask.”
“I know. I didn’t mean for you not to have one. I meant that you can always wear one that’s another color.”
“And what color would be appropriate?”
She thought for a moment and was ready to tell him she didn’t know when she thought of Susanna. “What about yellow?”
“Yellow?”
“Sure. Like the sun. Every spring, the sun warms things up. Things that were dead come back to life. Leaves come back on the trees, and flowers are in full bloom. It’s a time of renewal, of rebirth. Why not have it represent the fact that you’re no longer that old person?”
“You mean, I should make a fresh start.”
“Yes. Just because you put on a black mask at one time, it doesn’t mean it has to stay black. You can change it. If you don’t want to be whoever you used to be, then don’t. It’s your choice. I don’t want to go back to having the same kind of marriage that I had with Ichabod. I hated it. I didn’t realize how much I hated it until I came here. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel so alone. Maybe that’s why Lewis brought me here. Maybe he did it for both of us because he knew we needed someone to make us feel connected with the world again.”
“Maybe.”
When he didn’t say more than that, she ventured, “Did you find it unsettling when I told you how Susanna was conceived? Did that make you uncomfortable?”
“No, I wasn’t uncomfortable. Shocked. But not uncomfortable. I don’t know why any gentleman would want to make a child that way. It doesn’t seem very pleasurable, but Lewis always said his brother was strange.”
“I just wanted to make sure I hadn’t said something to upset you.”
“No, you didn’t say anything that upset me. Like I said, it had nothing to do with you.”
She considered her words then said, “If you feel the need to spend days in your bedchamber alone in the future, will you please tell me so I don’t worry I said or did something to upset you?”
He nodded
. “I can do that.”
“Thank you. I want this to be a good marriage.”
“I’d like that, too. You’re the first sincere and kind lady I’ve come across in a long time.”
“Then will you spend tomorrow with me?”
“Yes,” he softly replied. “We’ll have breakfast together in the drawing room tomorrow, spend some time with Susanna, take a short walk, and see where the rest of the day takes us.”
Relieved, she offered him an encouraging smile. “Good. Things aren’t the same when you’re not around.”
He returned her smile, and since this particular conversation was done, he escorted her to the dining room.
***
The next afternoon, Patricia let Stephen spend some time alone with Susanna while she took a nap. That morning, they had done as he promised. They’d had breakfast together, and they had taken a short walk, bundling up Susanna so she could go with them. After that, Patricia was tired. Stephen thought she was going to take Susanna upstairs with her, but she’d offered to let him spend time with her.
Patricia couldn’t have known how much it meant to him that she trusted him with Susanna. She’d not only let him name the baby, but she was also allowing him to really be the child’s father. Maybe this really was his second chance. Maybe he was getting a fresh start on life. Maybe, from this point forward, all the things in his past would be blotted out, and he could proceed into the future with a fresh slate.
All of these thoughts went through his mind as he held Susanna. He was sitting in his den by the fireplace. Susanna was swaddled in a blanket. He had decided to open the drapes to let the sunlight into the room, thinking the girl might enjoy the sunlight. And as he studied Susanna’s sleeping face, he was struck with both awe and reverence at the task of being a father.
A knock came at the door, and Stephen grabbed the mask that was by his chair. “Who is it?” he called out as he slipped it on.
“Mr. Cotter is here to see you,” his butler said from the other side of the door.
“Take him to the drawing room. I’ll be there in a moment.”
Stephen stood up, careful not to get up too fast in case he startled the child. Surely, Lewis would be excited about his niece. Stephen figured he would be coming by after receiving the announcement.
The Marriage Contract Page 11