“No,” I replied.
“Why not?”
“Because….” What could I say here? Because I don’t voluntarily visit the scary and dangerous places. Because I’m terrified to feel that way. Maybe I don’t want to feel at all. “I’m scared.”
“I am no stranger to fear,” Angeni said. “It can paralyze a person. We can work on that.” She squeezed my hand.
“Really?” I asked.
“Really,” she promised. “Messengers still have fear. They learn to travel in spite of it.”
We reached her hut and I knew Samuel wasn’t there. His energy wasn’t here.
“You seem sad. Do you want to tell me?” she asked.
“Yes. No. Yes. Is Samuel still here at the garrison?”
“Of course. He is with that injured horse,” she said. “I think he might have healed that animal. Brought him back from the brink of death. Samuel has a healer’s touch.”
Angeni thinks I can be a Messenger. Angeni believes Samuel is a Healer. This was the best news that I had heard in what seemed like forever.
“Where is he?”
“Peek outside the gates,” she said. “Go. Now.”
* * *
I practically bolted for the garrison’s gates. I caught a couple of irritated glares from the colonists, but I didn’t care. As luck would have it, the two guards had the huge, wooden doors open a several feet, their eyes riveted as they watched some commotion happening outside.
That commotion was Nathan galloping in circles around the fort’s steep walls, while Samuel rode him bareback.
“Samuel!” I yelled as they flew past the gates. He looked at me, his face flushed from the exertion of riding and guiding Nathan. He broke into a huge smile.
He slowed Nathan down to a canter. They turned, and trotted back toward me. “Abigail!” Samuel said. “Nathan is almost completely healed. Do you see how strong he is?”
“I saw! He’s strong, and beautiful, and I am so happy!” I practically skipped outside, but a guard pushed his way in front and blocked me.
“No one’s allowed to leave the garrison right now, Miss,” he said.
Now was not the time to be holding me back. “But I just want to—”
“No one, Miss,” the guard insisted.
I pointed to Samuel who had dismounted from the horse, and walked toward me. “But he’s outside.”
“He is exercising the General’s horse,” the guard explained, like I was an idiot. Right, most of the colonists still believed me to be an idiot ever since the Endicott attack. “Besides, he is a Native. You know the rules for Natives are different than the rules for colonists. You best move back inside and head home.” The guard started to close the large gates directly in front of Samuel and me.
Separating me from him.
His mistake. I poked the guard hard on his shoulder. “That guy’s my friend,” I pointed to Samuel. “He just spent hundreds of hours nursing General Jebediah Ballard’s horse back to health. And you want me to stay here and not talk to him—why?”
“I already answered that question, Miss.”
Samuel was just steps away, and I knew he was listening in on this conversation.
We stood yards from each other. Nathan grazed on some yellowing grass and waited patiently. Samuel stared straight into my eyes. He was beautiful, strong, and I felt honored to know him in any lifetime.
“No worries, Miss Abigail,” Samuel said.
“I’m happy for Nathan and proud of you, Samuel. You’re gifted, truly a healer.”
“As you are a Messenger.” He walked back to Nathan.
I needed to be with him. I needed to see his face up close, talk with him, and feel his energy. When? How?
The guards were closing the gates. A guard said to Samuel, “You give us some kind of signal or holler when you’re done with the horse, boy.”
“Yes, sir.” Samuel turned to me. “Miss Abigail?”
My breath caught in my throat.
“Yes?”
“Expect a message. Soon.”
* * *
I had a hard time sleeping that night. Images of Samuel and Nathan raced through my brain. Samuel riding on Nathan’s back, his leg muscles defined, his face proud, his hair flying, as he guided the horse he brought back from death’s door. The horse he healed.
I also saw images of Nathan. His black mane bounced off his chestnut coat that rippled from the exertion as he galloped around the garrison’s walls, seemingly happy to be strong again.
Sometime during the black of night, the wolves howled. No matter how many times I heard them, they always sounded eerie and gave me the shivers. They were most likely hunting. But not Nathan, thank God, as Samuel would be looking out for him, keeping him safe. I knew from my work with animal rescue that horses were nature’s most magnificent and desired prey.
I finally gave up on sleep and sat on the floor, my back against the wall and chanted silently, “Sa. Ta. Na. Ma. Sa. Ta. Na Ma.” I shut my eyes, touching my thumbs to my fingers, and thought about souls who chased each other for infinity.
What compelled them? What drove them? Love. Hate. Recognizing your soul mate. Could those souls ever find peace? Really be together? Exhausted, I rested my head against the wall.
* * *
A noise woke me. It sounded like a pebble bounced off the outside of the wall next to my head. I opened my eyes. Another pebble smacked the house. Five in all. I pressed my ear against the wall.
“I have a message for you,” Samuel whispered, muffled from the outside. I shoved back a giggle, as I didn’t want to wake Elizabeth.
“Be quiet,” I said and heard Elizabeth snore lightly from her sleeping quarters.
“Hurry. I need to show you something.”
Chapter 21
I snuck out of the house. It was nearly, pitch black outside. Just hints of the moon above us, but not yet the promise of sunrise. Samuel crouched in the bushes outside the house. “What are you doing?” I whispered.
He stood. “I have a surprise for you.” He grabbed my hand. “Do you trust me?”
I had never trusted anyone more. “Yes.”
“Then come with me,” he said, dropped my hand and off we ran.
* * *
The guard that night at the garrison’s gates was Daniel. He did not stop us or lecture me. He unlatched the gates, and allowed Samuel to silently lead both Nathan and myself out through a narrow opening.
“Thank you, Daniel,” Samuel whispered, as we stood outside the garrison’s safety.
“You healed Nathan. Maybe you can heal her, too.” Daniel nodded at us before he shut the very tall gates and latched them with several indiscrete thunks.
Wow. What a difference in attitude. No preaching, lecturing; just kindness. “What do you want to show me?” I asked Samuel.
He pointed to a large tree trunk nearby. “Watch this.” He hopped onto the trunk, and then jumped onto Nathan’s back.
“He looks so much stronger,” I said in hushed tones.
“As do you,” Samuel held out his hand to me from high above the ground.
“No, no.” I shook my head, ’cause I realized what he wanted me to do. “I haven’t been on a horse in years. Let alone at night without a saddle and wearing a granny skirt.”
“We do not have the luxury of time.”
“I can’t jump that high. And if I did, I’d probably kick Nathan, and hurt him, and ruin all the great work you’ve done.”
“Messengers need to be trained. Messengers need to travel despite their fears.” He pointed to the sawed-off trunk. “It is close to the ground. Climb it, grab my hand, and I will help you up.”
I hesitated.
“Do you trust me?”
Nathan blew through his lips. Samuel shushed him.
Once again, I was the only one late for this party. I made my decision. “I trust you.” I climbed onto the trunk and balanced there. He and Nathan circled, then edged close to me.
Samuel leaned d
own, his arm outstretched, his palm open. “Take my hand.”
“What if I can’t do this?” I was terrible with heights, and not all that great with taking chances.
In the near distance a man said, “What kind of guard are you, Daniel? It appears this gate is not properly closed.”
“Now,” Samuel insisted, his fingers reaching for and grazing my own.
I grabbed his hand, took a leap of faith and jumped toward him. He pulled me onto Nathan’s back, and I landed directly behind him. I was fine. I was okay. In one piece—not broken.
“I knew you could do it,” he said.
“Well then you have more faith in me than I do.”
“Maybe it is time for you to have faith in yourself.” He nudged Nathan with his knee. I clutched his waist tightly. We rode off slow and quiet at first, until we passed hearing distance from the garrison’s walls.
* * *
Honestly I couldn’t see much. It was dark and I held onto Samuel, my arms wrapped around his waist. We weren’t in the cornfields. We seemed to be heading toward the ocean. I smelled salt air. Heard the crashing of the ocean waves on the Atlantic shore in the distance. I hadn’t been on a horse since the day of our accident. The day Mama disappeared. This was terrifying. This was exhilarating.
“Ready?” Samuel asked.
My cheek rested against his back. I couldn’t believe I was this high up in the air, still alive, and not having a panic attack. “Yes,” I said.
“Good,” Samuel said. “We do not have much time.” He leaned forward, and murmured into Nathan’s ear. He broke into a cantor and then a gallop. I hugged Samuel as hard as I could. We flew across the land, Nathan carrying us to our destination.
The wind whipped my face, and pushed my white cap off my head. My hair flew free behind me. “Do we have to go this fast?” I asked as my eyes teared from the wind.
“Yes,” he said. “Why?”
“If I fall, I’d die,” I said. “If I live, I’m in heaven.” I decided to put my fears on hold for the moment. I’d let God, the universe, and that inner voice that guides each and every one of us, just have at it. But, I still clung to Samuel for dear life.
* * *
We survived our crazy run, arrived at our mysterious destination, a place close to the ocean. Nearby the waves slapped the sand and shoreline. What were we doing out here in the wilderness in the night, under a thick cloud cover that only specks of moonlight peeked through?
Samuel dismounted. Held my waist and lifted me off Nathan. I wobbled a bit when my feet landed on the earth. He steadied me, his hands on my shoulders.
“I’m good,” I said.
“You are better than good,” he replied. “You will get used to this.”
“Get used to what?” I asked. Breaking out of prison otherwise known as the garrison? Racing across a wild land in the dark of night, on the back of a beautiful horse? Holding tightly to the most honest, and handsome guy I’d ever met?
“Traveling,” he said. “Traveling quickly and without advance warning.”
Oh. Got it. We were out here so he could teach me to time travel. More mentoring. More lessons. What was I thinking? He just wanted to be nice, and helpful, and help me heal. Daniel basically stated that when we snuck out through the gates.
“Are you thirsty?” he asked
I shook my head. “I’m fine,” I said. I’m in shock, I thought.
Samuel gave Nathan some water from a flask he had packed. I thought he would tie him to a tree. But he rubbed his neck, whispered into his ear, and let Nathan wander, untethered. He trusted that the horse was so attached to him, that he would not leave us.
I wished I had the confidence that Samuel had.
He walked a couple of yards away from me, placed a blanket on the ground, and sat on it. “Come here.”
“Isn’t it super dangerous to be out here?”
“Yes. But, I need to show you something.” He patted the blanket.
I sat down next to him. My teeth were chattering, and I shivered. Maybe it was the cold, maybe just all my adrenaline. “This better be great.”
“It is better than great.” He reached behind him, grabbed another blanket, and wrapped it around both our shoulders.
Our arms touched, as we sat, leaning into each other. It felt natural to be with him. It felt normal to lean my head on his shoulder. Strands of my hair blew across my face, and he tucked them back behind my ears. That felt delicious.
Maybe someday I would learn to become a Messenger. But right now, I wished on all the stars hidden up behind the clouds that covered the sky, and every Sa-Ta-Na-Ma chant ever said, that Samuel and I could be together. For real.
Chapter 22
Samuel spoke quietly. “I barely knew you before the Endicott attack, when you were just Abigail. You always acted superior, aloof. After the attack, you were confused, but you were funny and smart. You had a different frown.”
Samuel noticed my frown. (Note to self: sign up for charm school upon returning to the future.)
“Your smile was different. A little crooked. Your entire being glowed…how can I say this…brighter? The more time I spent with you, the more my feelings changed. I knew something had changed. I was beyond curious. I needed to know more.”
Just get on with it, I thought. Tell me the next thing I have to practice, or say, or do, or attempt to become a Messenger. Don’t flirt. Please don’t mess with my heart.
“Then, you told me your name was Madeline, that you lived in a place called Chicago many years in the future. And your life sounded bright, shiny, fast moving, and magical. To my dismay, I realized I had nothing to offer you.”
“But that’s not—” I began.
He put one finger to my lips. “Hear me.”
I nodded, my heart pounding wildly.
“I spoke to Angeni about my feelings for you, and how exciting your real world must be, compared to here. I talked to a friend. I asked both for advice.” He stood up and paced in front of me. “They told me I should just be myself with you. Show you whoever I was: good, bad, light and dark, strong, weak. That you would see me or not. And, then we could decide. If we were meant to be together, it would come from honesty and maybe a bit of magic. Just like the Sa-Ta-Na-Ma chant. Infinity chasing life, death, and rebirth.”
His face was beautiful, his lips were full, his eyes intense. How could I get involved with a guy from the year 1675? But it was Samuel. How could I not? “Oh,” I said.
“We are here, outside the garrison’s safety because I wanted…no, I needed to show you part of who I am, and where I come from. Look.” He pointed in front of us.
A slice of soft pink crept up on the horizon ahead. Funny, ’cause it had been so dark, I didn’t even realize we were facing the horizon. The softness expanded into a deep rose; a sliver of dawn’s sunrise rose from the night’s blackness, and poked through the low, spotty, gray clouds. The rose blossomed into shades of fuchsia, accented with lemon yellows, oranges, and topped with blood reds.
Samuel had brought me here, and positioned us on the bluffs directly overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. There was no pollution, no planes or their trails in the sky. I was watching the most amazing, brilliant, pure sunrise I’d ever seen. It was stunning. Like how God/Goddess created the world before we all screwed it up with our crazy technologies.
“My people, the Wampanoag tribe are called The Children of the Morning Light,” Samuel said. “We were here for thousands of years, and witnessed this sunrise every day, before anyone else came to these shores. This is I, Madeline. This is my truth.”
I didn’t know what to say to him. Had no idea what to do. This had never happened to me before. I felt like I was falling. But, for once, falling was a good thing.
“You come from a world where things glitter, shine, and move faster than I can imagine,” Samuel said. “I want you to have something special—from this time. Something just for you, no matter how long you stay here.” He held out his hand to me.
I touched his hand. His was steady. Mine shook. Perhaps from anxiety or the tension of holding so tight to him on our ride. The blood beat through our hands, and synchronized into one big pulse, like they were puzzle pieces meant to fit together. It felt mesmerizing. It felt like I was coming home.
“I made this for you. I hope you like it,” he said. “And, if we are both lucky, maybe if, or when, you leave and go back to your world, you will find a way to take a piece of it with you.”
What if I didn’t want to go back to my world? What if I wanted to stay with Samuel, no matter what, or where, or when? But, if I never returned, it would kill Dad. Just like losing Mama almost killed him. And that would break my heart, as well.
I looked up at Samuel, and I swore the sunrise made his hazel eyes glint, and his black-brown hair gleam. Be still my flippin’ heart. I peeled back the fingers on his fist. And saw the most beautiful gift cradled in his palm.
It was a necklace made from small, colorful feathers, long, coarse, black horsehairs and tiny purple and white seashells. It was exquisite. No one had ever made me a piece of jewelry before.
I picked it up from Samuel’s hand, and dangled it over my head. The dawn’s light reflecting off the ocean’s waters shone through it. Each shell shimmered a different color. Together they turned into the most, glorious rainbow.
“Oh,” I said, and ran my fingers over it. I felt my cheeks flush. “Oh. It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”
“Please?” He held his hand out.
I nodded.
He took the necklace, and slipped it over my head. It draped around my neck and down onto my chest. It felt like a piece of magic rested on top of my heart that beat so quickly. “Thank you.” I gazed up at him.
He smiled, leaned his head down, and cradled my face in his rough palms. He pulled me to him and said, “Madeline. I do not care where you are from—the future, the past, a star in the sky. I will love you here now. I do not care what people think. I will love you in the past. I will love you in the future. I will love you, forever, Madeline.”
The Messenger: Mortal Beloved Time Travel Romance, #1 Page 12