by Alexia Purdy
“Ignore her. She sometimes says the wrong thing,” I hissed, blowing out a breath as I exited the freeway, heading toward Newport. I had been here several times in my life, and the beach called to me like magic, the scent of the sea exhilarating, even before it was visible.
“No worries.”
I glanced back toward him, and then to Liv, who was already digging through her purse for some gum. I wished I could move on so quickly; it would be better that way, to live in the moment instead of letting the memory of unwanted things traumatize the future. I always knew she would be happier in life than me, always. A short memory was cause for a happy, long life.
“So where do you want to be dropped off? We’re headed to Newport Beach. Got some contacts there that want us to play at their bar.” I gripped the steering wheel, noticing how my hands always got wild with flitting movement when I talked. He couldn’t see them, so why do it? Biting my lip, I waited for his answer.
“Oh wow, you guys play? What kind of music?” He leaned forward, having forgotten my question the moment I had mentioned playing.
“Oh, you know—guitar, banjo, anything with bells, strings, or whistles.” I couldn’t help it; my fingers waved in the air, my wrist flicking about on its own accord, acting as though I was shaking a tambourine. Blushing red again, I dropped it into my lap and clenched the steering wheel even tighter with my other. “We sing too. A duet at times, but Liv does a lot of the solo voice work. I’m pretty much just backup.”
Saul leaned forward, his eyebrows hovering above the frames. “Wow! That’s amazing! I do some percussion, lots of looping drum beats, digital rhythms and stuff. You know, noise.” His voice came in louder now, obviously hitting a point of interest for him. “Maybe I can help you guys out sometime. I love to play. Actually, you’d be doing me a favor.” His enthusiasm was contagious. I was jumping in my seat from hearing his offer.
“Really? Wow, that’s really awesome of you!” I flicked my eyes to him, wondering if he was too good to be true. “You sure? That would help us loads! We have some equipment in the trunk. Maybe you can fiddle with it, make it work for you. It hates me, but Liv uses it sometimes. She’s just starting out on it, though, a newbie. We do a ton of just acoustic tunes, easiest to do.”
“Hell yeah, that would be awesome.” Saul leaned back, inhaling deeply, seemingly enjoying the salty ocean air too. His face lit up behind the shades, making my insides warm up, tingling from just looking at the man. He was eye candy if I ever saw any. “I can’t wait.”
Chapter Five
Liv
I SLAMMED MY glass on the bar, nonchalantly waving the bar tender over for another.
“Another cranberry and vodka?” I nodded. He smirked, pulling my glass off the counter to mix it. I was buzzing already, but it was the only way I could kill the jitters running through me prior to the show. It ran up my arms and down my chest like little flurries of butterflies high on meth. Unbearable, I had to squelch it somehow, or I’d never gain the courage to play on stage again.
The crowd was thick tonight. Bodies filled the floor and crowded up to the stage as the band playing before us finished their last set. The smoke was hanging above my head like a storm cloud and made me choke on the fumes. I grabbed my drink from the bartender as he slipped it onto the counter and dropped some crushed dollar bills to pay for it before I stumbled away toward the side of the stage. The incessant droning of the electric guitar player’s sorry excuse for rock and roll made me want to cut the strings and smash his instrument into the ground until it splintered into a thousand tiny shards. I was feeling bold tonight, and that could be bad or good.
“Liv, I need you to get the equipment set up for Saul first. I’ll get your acoustic plugged in.” Audrey stopped, narrowing her eyes at me before she gritted her teeth. “You aren’t drinking again, are you? Really? We’re about to go on!” She huffed, shaking her head, and turned away so I wouldn’t see her rage amplify across her face. I knew she was disappointed; she didn’t have to turn away from me to let me know that. I was pretty in tune with my sister’s feelings about how I dealt with my insecurities. She didn’t understand. She never would, but that didn’t stop her from trying, no matter how many times I had told her to just let it go.
That was the difference between me and her. Some things were better left unsaid and left alone.
“Don’t worry so much. Your hair will go grey before you’re even thirty!” I caught a slight slur in my words and cleared my throat. It was my turn to shift away, grabbing the electronic equipment and the tangle of cords, and readying to run over this God awful band once their song was over. It was starting to grate on my nerves, the way he screeched his guitar every two seconds. I was pretty sure he didn’t know how to play a decent chord if his life depended on it.
Lifting the digital usb midi pad and tucking one of the smaller keyboards under my arm, I began plugging in the necessary cords and untangling the mess. Finally, the screeching music ended, and I pulled the loops around my shoulder, letting the band step down off the stage, before taking the stairs two at a time to the table awaiting the equipment. It was easy work to set up. I’d done it so many times, I could do it asleep or blindfolded. Saul made his way to the stairs, carrying a small digital percussion pad set and a few more loops of cords around his arms.
Watching him take the steps, slowly but still fast enough, no one would’ve noticed he was blind, except for the cane he carried along with all the stuff in his arms. With dexterous fingers, he swept the cane in front of him and made his way toward me.
“Don’t trip. The snakes are all over the floor,” I told him, hoping he knew what I was talking about. I took the equipment from him before he could run into the table, which made him pause before throwing me a tiny nod and smile. It was brilliant and made me suck in my breath. “The table’s in front of you. There’s a chair behind it to get your stuff set up,” I added, darting my eyes away.
“Thanks. It reminds me of the sound studios I work in, but quite a bit louder.” His fingers graced the edges of the table and followed it discretely around. It was impressive, the way he moved so gracefully, never running into anything or tripping. It was as if he could sense the surroundings, like they were an extension of him. Must be the years of practice, I quietly thought. I wouldn’t mind those fingers gracing my skin the way they caressed the edges of the table. I moved my eyes away from his yummy backside, feeling guilty for eyeing a man who couldn’t even see me do it.
Audrey ran up the steps, leaning both our guitars against our chairs. Hers was a tall stool, stolen from the bar down below. I’m sure they didn’t mind it. She cradled her microphone and looped the excess cord near the table before plugging it in. Only one of the guitars was plugged in for an acoustic sound at its best. I took the instrument from her, and she arranged her variety of bells, tambourines, and jingles on the end of the table Saul occupied.
Soon, the crowd quieted enough for Audrey to announce us. The Fall of Sky was the name of our duo, now trio. Though unofficial, it would do for now. I began strumming my guitar and waited for Saul to start the looping percussion as I picked at the strings, sending a haunting melody into the room.
As the drums resonated, the music left my fingers, pouring out from my soul and into the chords as the pick clicked through the strings. The vibrating twang filled me up like a warm, soothing concoction, even in my half drunken state. I was oblivious to the crowd now−they didn’t exist when I was playing. In the background, I heard Audrey’s voice sounding out, softly at first, and then into the sway of the lyrics we’d both written and sung a thousand times before.
“Nothing like the rain
That amplifies the fear
And nothing like this endless pain
That wants to pull me near
Like a poison to my soul
A drizzle of your touch
A fiery death in my veins
Try not to taste too much
But, for you, I might let this guar
d down
For you, I might take a step around
And it might be a mistake…
Might be the last step I take
Maybe the fall is worth the pain…”
The melody continued in her soft, hypnotic voice. As the chorus sounded, I had joined her with my own voice, harmonizing and echoing in the room. The bar had stilled. Most were nodding their heads to the beats, which Saul was expertly looping and tapping out. I was definitely impressed, catching myself smiling through the words toward him. He sure could keep the rhythm, for a blind man. I swung my view back toward the crowd beyond the glaring stage lights. Some women were grinding against their lovers; some were in the dark crevices of the room, deeply buried within their kisses and feeling up on each other. It was definitely a sexual song, and the room had gotten the gist of it.
It made the room temperature rise as we continued on−a sure sign that it had been well accepted. I hungrily scanned the room as I strummed the guitar, looking for someone to quench my own thirst. Normally, Audrey would sway me from grabbing the first good looking guy I saw and keep me out of trouble when I was intoxicated. Not tonight. I wouldn’t let her. Tonight, I had a fire building up inside me, and it needed something to burn, someone to devour with every fiber of my being. I was on the hunt, and this was going to be fun.
Chapter Six
Audrey
THE MORNING SUN spiked its light through the well-worn curtains, peeking through the thicker, black-out set which laid an inch open, no matter how much one tried to keep the ends together. Unfortunately, the beam of sun sat gingerly across my eyelids, and I felt the burn of my retinas jerk me awake.
Sleep dusted across my eyes, and I rubbed it away as I sat up, wondering suddenly what time it was. Flicking them toward the red numbers on the nightstand alarm clock, cheap motel standard issued, I groaned and plopped back onto the pillow, grabbing the second one on the other side of the bed and smothering myself with it.
Wait a minute. Where’s Liv?
Throwing the soft, bleach scented pillow off, I sat back up again and studied the empty, not slept-in, other side of the bed I occupied. Turning back toward the inside of the room, I studied the lump sprawled across the second queen bed. Saul was softly snoring, and I spied the smooth olive skin peeking from under the sheet, which barely covered him. He looked like he might be sleeping in the nude, making me swallow as I averted my eyes.
Great Jehoshaphat! I hope he’s wearing boxers under there.
Shaking the adrenaline shock off, I yanked the blanket off and went to lean against the warm windowsill. The motel parking lot sat half abandoned, people already having rushed to whatever business they were up to and leaving only a handful of cars spread across the lot, our old station wagon included. It looked neglected, dusty with a film of nasty stuck to it, making it obvious it hadn’t been washed in months. If the state of the car was any kind of indication of the state of our lives, I was going to have to start praying again, with retro prayers to make up for the months I’d been way out of touch, and especially with Liv being the way she is.
After scanning the parking lot, I saw no sign of her. Frowning, I gave the curtains a good pull, sending a small amount of dust into the air. Flipping my suitcase open, I pulled out an outfit and headed for the bathroom, grumbling about Liv the entire time. Saul shifted in his sleep but didn’t awaken, letting me know to tone it down a bit.
Still. Where the hell was she? I was going to kill her when she hopped back over here. She was always doing crap like this, disappearing for days without any kind of warning or letting me know where she was. It worried the bejesus out of me, but I knew sooner or later, she’d come waltzing right back into the motel room, flop onto the bed and sigh happily, as though nothing had occurred and she was living the good life.
The blast of hot water was soothing and cleared the fogginess of the early morning out of my head. I didn’t deserve this. It was ridiculous how much she took my concern of her for granted. A soft growl vibrated in my throat at the thought of it, and I slammed the water off. Finishing up in the bathroom and all dressed for the day, I walked back into the room to find Saul awaiting his turn in the shower.
“Hi, Audrey.” His smile made me slow down the hard yanking I was doing on my hair. It was a mess, and the lack of conditioner made me want to cut it all off. I had to remember to do some shopping today before rehearsal and the show.
“Hey, Saul. You haven’t heard from Liv, have you?”
He shook his head, already feeling his way toward the bathroom. Most motel rooms were all the same, so he had no difficulty getting there without his walking stick. “No, sorry. I didn’t hear her leave. She didn’t tell you where she would run off to?”
“No.”
“I hope she’s okay. She seems pretty adept to finding her way around. I’m sure she’ll show up soon.” He paused at the door and waited for me to answer, maybe feeling guilty that he wasn’t as concerned about her whereabouts as I was.
“You’re probably right,” I muttered, letting him off the hook.
“Up for some breakfast when I’m done? I’ll be fast.”
I nodded at first before realizing he can’t see me. “Yeah, sounds good.”
“Good! Just a few minutes. Be right out.” His faded blue eyes twinkled with his cheeks folding up into another bright smile, which forced my mood to inch just a bit higher.
With that, he disappeared into the steamy room I’d left behind. Finished pulling the sopping messes of hair into a ponytail, I scampered over to my suitcase, stuffed away my dirty clothes, and re-zipped the case. I was tired of feeling like a mother hen to Liv. It was definitely time to rethink our relationship.
The bag of money peeked out from under my side of the bed, and I bent down to retrieve it. Checking the insides for the wads of bills, I sighed. We’ll pay dearly for every last penny of this money. I felt it in my soul, a dread that stuck to me like a shroud of cobwebs. I pulled loose a couple of twenties, stuffed the bag into my own oversized purse, and waited for Saul. Maybe breakfast would keep me from killing my sister. She’d better not walk in before I’d eaten. It would be the last thing she did—I’d make sure of it.
Sitting in a worn, fake leather booth at the local Denny’s, I shifted in my seat until the waitress sashayed her way to our table, smacking her gum as she asked for our orders. Her hair was an artificial red, one that no one naturally possessed. The array of curls were held up by a handkerchief tied and pinned to the mass. She wore heavy makeup, and her red lipstick stuck to her two front teeth in small smudges. Long chains dangled from her thin neck, making me rub my own at the thought of the weight they must own. I was a minimalist. Even Liv, with her gobs of makeup and jewelry, kept it tasteful. I wasn’t even sure if this one’s long, acrylic nails were within the Health Department’s code.
I was relieved that she was just the waitress and not the cook, to say the least. “She must be a fright to look at.” Saul’s voice echoed in my ears, bringing me back to the table as I flushed for getting caught staring at her. Wait, how would he know that?”
“How can you tell?”
“The way you paused while you were talking to me, right before she arrived. It sounds like a shocker to me.”
His skill in observing the noises around him made me stop tapping my nervous foot on the floor. I wondered briefly if it would be harder to hide things from a deaf person. Doubted it.
“Yeah, she’s just over the top with her enhancement routine and jewelry. Hope her dangles don’t drop into my oatmeal.”
Saul let out a laugh but cleared his throat as the waitress returned with our coffees and cream. I poured five packets of sugar into mine and half the cream. Saul just lifted an eyebrow at the sound of my additives as I stirred.
“What?”
“You seem pretty wound up already. All that sugar might not be a good idea.”
“Oh, clamp it. Sugar calms me down. If there’s a time I am fraying my nerves, it’s now. Liv is goi
ng to get her comeuppance when she comes back for putting me through this shit over and over again. I’m sick of it, so don’t you start now, too.” I took a deep swig of caffeine and nearly burned my lips. The food better be good today. No, it better be stellar with what I what I’d seen so far.
Chapter Seven
Liv
I WAS GOING to kill him. I watched as the swirling water tinged with red and pink spun down the drain. Spitting out more blood, I peeked into the mirror and assessed my teeth. They were thankfully intact; my only injury being a very swollen lip with a nice gash on it and a cut inside my mouth where my teeth had slit it open. I frowned. The blackening eye wasn’t a good look for me either.
Who was I going to kill? Jonas Esperanza, one of Ruben’s henchmen. I’d been stupid enough to fall for one of his old tricks of paying off some good looking tramp man in a cowboy get up to pretend to like me, dance with me, and then proceed to get me as intoxicated as possible before slipping me a fucking roofie in the last shot so I would be less likely to notice. Well, I’d taken a sip of it when I saw the fizz at the bottom of the cup, but it was a tad bit too late. I’d drunk enough to fog up my mental capacity, slur up my words, and leave me at Jonas’ mercy. He’d stepped in after Mr. Cowboy had waltzed me out of the club and handed me right into the jaws of the tiger.
What a gentlemen.
I’d fought with all I’d had, but Jonas had managed to stuff me into his car beside him while his thousand pound driver Javier drove us around town.
“I’m a generous man.”
The world outside was swimming, and I pressed my eyelids together, attempting to focus as I let the world speed by. Not only that, but I had to concentrate to keep his words from blurring in my ears.
“But Ruben, now he’s not so willing to part with his money as I’d be, even for a beautiful woman such as yourself.” His voice was electric, like standing too close to a buzzing fly trap. “Of course, if it’d been me you’d taken money from like that, you’d never have slipped through my fingers so easily.”