His laughter filled the room, some of the mischievous sparkle returning in his eyes. “Hell, yes, I’ve done it a lot. I’ve fucked in every way imaginable, ways that would make your insides blush.” He approached the bed and leaned down until our faces were inches apart. “But I’ve never made love before.”
My heart leapt into my throat as I realized what he was saying. I’d made love before, or at least it was on my side, and it was a feeling that was beyond words. I mean, how on earth do you even start to describe the coming together of two souls? And here Connor was implying that’s what we were about to do, and goddamn him, his words gave me hope that this could be something more. Something real.
My eyes never leaving his, I reached down and undid the belt of my robe, and pulled it open, revealing my bare body beneath him.
“Make love to me, Connor,” I said, almost daring him. He grinned as his eyes looked downward, taking in my naked form. For a moment he just stared at me, his eyes feasting on my body like a famished man as I lay on the bed. I didn’t feel embarrassed or nervous at his perusal of my form, long ago giving up that I was ever going to have a perfect body. My breasts were too big, my stomach not as flat as I would like it to be, my thighs without that perfect ‘gap’ that was so popular. But it was mine and I wasn’t going to worry about what he saw. Besides, the flare in his eyes and straining at his pants told me everything I needed to know. “Fuck, I don’t know why I even hesitated.”
His hands went to his pants, and my throat went dry, remembering the first day when I’d caught him in the nude. That was about to be all mine and I couldn’t wait for every single inch.
“You’re fucking divine,” he finally said, stripping off his pants to reveal the cock that I’d imagined so many times in my wet or torrid dreams. “Just gorgeous.”
I took in his chiseled chest and abs, the way his waist tapered down to the V of his obliques, where his cock proudly stood to attention. I could stare at him all day, I thought as a moan escaped my lips. “No,” I said softly, my eyes traveling back up to his eyes. “I think you are.”
He grinned then and reached for me, pulling me to my feet until our bodies were pressed intimately together, his hands on my rear end. “Last chance before I do ungodly things to you, Ms. Matthews?” he said, his eyes searching mine.
I pressed my hands to his scruffy face, a tender smile breaking out over my own face. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life.” He leaned down and kissed me softly, his lips barely brushing over mine but I still felt the need, the heat of what was about to happen.
When his lips travelled down my jaw to the side of my neck, I sighed, feeling the zealous trace of desire that he left with every kiss. His hands slid up to the small of my back before circling my waist and coming to rest over my aching breasts, my nipples already painfully erect and begging for his touch. “God, they’re perfect,” he said, looking down at my breasts in his hands. When he brought his lips to one of my nipples, I arched my back as a wetness pooled between my folds. I had forgotten how good that felt. “Oh, Connor,” I said, my hands delving into his hair to hold him there. “That’s… yes, right there.”
I felt him chuckle against my breast as he lavished one then the other with his tongue, his hands starting to drift downward toward the other aching place on my body.
“Don’t stop touching me.”
“Hell, woman, you are going to make me cum all over you if you keep up with that talk.”
“And you’re going to make this quick if you keep playing with me like that,” I panted, his hand drifting ever so closer to my center. He looked up, his molten gaze meeting mine with a wink. “Honey, that’s the point. Your legs are going to quake, your insides will quiver, and I ain’t gonna quit till you are fully mine.”
I nearly melted as he moved me back onto the bed, pressing me down upon the covers and opening my legs back up with a firm hand. His expression was feral as he joined me, towering over me as he circled teasingly around my belly with a stubborn finger that seemed to want nothing more to do than drive me crazy. “Connor?” I began to close my legs.
“Leave them open.” I did as he commanded, my chest rising and falling dangerously like a boat in a storm.
“I don’t think I can wait much longer… Put that finger to better use,” I retorted brazenly, trying to guide his hand down closer by arching my body. His fingers brushed my curls and I nearly bucked off of the bed. Like a heat seeking missile his finger delved into my slit I bit my lip, enjoying the sensation of him touching me again. “Oh, you are so wet for me,” he said into my ear, his lips tugging on my earlobe as he flicked my swollen clit. “Do you want me, April?”
“Oh yes,” I panted as his finger started to dance over the aching nub. “Oh god, I want you so bad.”
“Are you going to come for me?” he asked, his finger starting a rhythmic motion as the pressure started to coil and build up inside me. I moaned, unable to find the words, and I closed my eyes, my hips bucking against his hand, urging him on. He complied and I saw stars as the waves of passion overtook me, gripping the covers with my hands as he drove me insane with his magical touch yet again.
Connor kissed my lips as I floated back down to earth, leaving me for just a moment to catch my breath, while I heard the telltale rip of a condom in the air.
The bed gave slightly under his weight as he returned between my legs, and he towered over me, bending forward to brush his lips over mine, his cock heavy and pressing at my entrance. “You better hold on, I’m not sure if I can hold back now I have you in my arms.”
I didn’t say anything, but I reached down and grabbed his hips, guiding him into me with aching slowness as I watched the range of emotions on his face, in his eyes. When he was buried deep within me, I arched my hips, wrapping my legs around his slender waist and my arms around his neck.
“I’m never letting go,” I said softly. The look of surprise on his face was quickly overcome by the need to give me what I wanted as he gripped my hips and pulled back out, then rammed back into me, almost knocking me senseless. With each lasting stroke we stared into each other’s eyes, falling down as individuals but getting back up, uniting, as one.
Connor led me to my second orgasm, my pussy clenching eagerly around his cock. I clawed my hands into the flesh upon his shoulders, raking my nails up his skin, my toes curling, as he did it again and again, the orgasms multiplying violently before he let out a roar, then my name repeating upon my lips and came. His large body collapsed upon mine.
Overcome with emotion and feelings that I didn’t know how to handle, I stroked his head as he lay on my chest, the harsh sound of our frantic breaths filling the room. This was the game changer. This had solidified everything I had fought to keep at bay for so long.
But the choice had been made, and I wasn’t going to shy away from it now.
22
CONNOR
“So, tell me something that I won’t find on the internet.”
I let my fingers run through her hair idly, her head on my chest as we lay in the quiet bedroom, the smell of sex lingering in the air. I felt fucking amazing, like Superman who’d just saved the world, and it was all due to the woman in my arms. I’d always prided myself on having the stamina of a stallion when it came to the bedroom, but one look at her, listening to her sigh and watching her come undone under my touch had left me fighting for control. She was a complete surprise in bed, giving and taking everything I had, a wildcat that I had no chance to tame, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try. Round two couldn’t come soon enough. “Well, darling, everything is on the internet nowadays.”
Her hand rubbed tiny circles on my lower abdomen as she huffed against my skin, making me grin. “Not everything. Tell me something that you know, no one else knows. Your darkest secrets or your wildest dreams. I shared my pathetic excuse for a love life with you. The least you could do is return the favor.”
“Okay, okay,” I laughed, stroking her back
. “Well you already know, my parents are divorced. Most don’t know that they hate each other to this day. I couldn’t even have them at my pro signing day because I was scared they would tear each other apart.”
“Why do they hate each other so much?” she asked softly. I sighed, my mind thinking back to my younger days. “My dad always wanted me to go to football camps and hone my talent. My mom wanted the same, of course, but she also wanted me to excel in school as well, you know, to have a back-up plan. They used to fight constantly about it but my dad would always get his way. Spending money we didn’t really have on some expensive-ass camp in the middle of nowhere, which would make mom blow her top. You know, I don’t think there was a summer that I actually got to spend at home with them, doing family stuff, well at least not after I was nine or ten.”
“You poor thing,” April replied, kissing the area right above my bellybutton lightly. My cock twitched, but I forced it to lie down for now. There would be plenty of time for rounds two, three, and four tonight, but for now it made a change from getting what I could then making my excuses to leave. Listening to her and sharing our stories was refreshing; something I never thought I needed. But of course, I fully planned on enjoying the hell out of the amazing woman who had literally dropped in my lap, saving me.
“Yeah, well, we definitely weren’t that poor,” I joked. “All the money they wasted on me…”
“What do you mean? Look where you are, what you achieved.”
I sighed, and she propped herself up to study me.
“But you just wanted them, didn’t you?”
“Am I that easy to read?”
“No… in fact, I think you hide it too well. And I know how it is wanting more time with your parents.”
I stroked her cheek. “I didn’t mean to bring up anything painful.”
She shook her head and smiled. “I’m okay, this is not about me. I want to hear more about you.”
“Well, after the divorce, I guess you could say I got anything I wanted… they tried to outdo each other, and I know I didn’t help. Probably encouraged it. But then my mom ended up getting remarried and popping out a few kids with my stepdad. And I don’t know if it was guilt or something else but she felt the need to outdo my dad at every Christmas and birthday present. My dad, well, he couldn’t compete, fell on hard times after the divorce, a string of failed marriages and some bad investments nearly taking all he had. Recently he’s tried to get me to back him in what sounded like a scam and then got pissed once he realized I wasn’t going to bite. We haven’t talked in four months. But I can’t help thinking that if I hadn’t loved football so much, begged for all the right equipment, the trips, the camps, then maybe they would still be together.”
April turned her head and looked at me, her expression softening. “Must’ve been rough. But you were a kid, it wasn’t your fault, you know.”
“Yeah, I want to believe that, I do. I just can’t. Makes me think that love is just a hollowed out word. Because how can two people who claimed they loved each other throw it all away like that?”
“You’re totally wrong,” she said with such fierceness it was hard not to believe her, then she snuggled into me. “Love does exist. I’ve seen it with my own eyes, my parents had it and I…” April trailed off.
I swallowed, my mind leaping to finish that sentence. She wanted the fairytale ending and I wanted… hell, what did I want exactly? I did not want what had happened to my parents, which was why, I guessed, I tended to fall at the last hurdle that was commitment. It was final and it was painful. But listening to the opposite end of the spectrum, the happy marriage that April’s parents had made me wonder if it could really work.
“I almost had it, though now that I think about it. It couldn’t have been love because I never felt the way I did with him as I do with…”
I tensed slightly hoping in equal measure that she would or wouldn’t finish the sentence. I couldn’t even believe I was thinking along these lines, but I knew exactly what she meant. Something had changed within me, like blinding lights upon the field being switched on and finally illuminating in stark contrast what I’d been missing all this time. “Your ex is an asshole,” I finally said, breaking the silence. “He doesn’t deserve your thoughts.”
She looked up and I took the opportunity to kiss her forehead, a soft kiss that didn’t mean to lead to anything else. “I know,” she sighed, touching my jaw. “And he doesn’t cross my mind anywhere near as much as he used to, trust me. He’s in the past and well, I’m very happy in the here and now.”
She didn’t say future and I didn’t ask. I didn’t even know what to say about the future; our future. Could I make a real go of it with April? Inching along, carrying our relationship to the next down, then the next until we were an old married couple in our nineties rocking on our front porch?
“I’m happy here too, with you.”
The past few days had been some of the best days of my entire life and around her, I felt like I could be myself, not some macho football star that has to be constantly on, being the complete dick that everyone expected me to be. But just as April made me feel more like I was discovering who I truly was, she was also a weakness that I would have to protect, to hide from the harsh realities that was my dirty but glamorous life. I knew she was strong, but was she strong enough? Being in the limelight was a constant wear and tear, which was one reason I’d gotten along with Crystal so well in the beginning. She knew how to handle herself in those situations, always coming out like a diamond no matter what she was thrown into.
And as my girlfriend—or perhaps more—April would have to do the same. But I couldn’t lose her either. Just the thought made my muscles tighten with rage.
“What’s wrong?” April asked dreamily.
“Nothing,” I replied, not wanting to worry her. It was in that blissful moment I realized I’d completely forgotten to tell her about the bet. Did she really need to know? If I told her now, it would spoil everything and I didn’t want to go down the path of her not being around, not yet, not ever if I was being honest with myself. So instead I reached down and kissed her deeply, letting all of my worries, frustration and fears echo through the kiss.
23
APRIL
“You bastard!”
I shrieked as Connor strode toward the water, a silly grin on his handsome face. “No! No, don’t you dare do that!”
In his arm was a bucket, one filled with the sugary white sand that he was planning to dump on my head. It was my fault, really. I’d started our mini beach war, taking a bucket of warm water and dumping it on his torso as he lounged in the sand.
He feigned a swing, causing me to scream in delight again, but he dumped the bucket and ran towards me into the water, capturing me around the waist. “I wouldn’t dare dump sand on your pretty little head. There would be too much of it in the bed later on.”
I hit his chest lightly as he kissed my neck, last night’s activities flooding back to me. It had been damn near perfection. Connor was a patient, excellent lover, the best I’d ever had. We had done it for hours, sweat dripping off us, thoroughly ruining the honeymoon sheets, before becoming too exhausted to keep our eyes open, eventually drifting off asleep, our bodies aching, in each other’s arms.
The morning was just as delightful and I was delirious with happiness. I knew I had to reign my giddiness in, in case I scared him off, but he’d given me the perfect chance to calm down when he’d gone for his morning run. In the shower I reflected upon what had happened to us. There were no regrets, no weird, awkward feelings that would have me screaming into the water and wanting to disappear from his sight.
Actually, it felt pretty darn good being in his arms constantly. And to have this all happen in one of the most beautiful places on earth was the proverbial cherry on top. It was like a fairytale, but what was the ending going to be? Would it turn out all okay, the princess getting her happily ever after? Or would it twist into something dark and Grimm?
“What are you thinking?”
I looked up and gave Connor a grin, hoping that the shadows of worry did not reflect in my eyes. “I was thinking about last night.”
“Which part?” he teased, his hands warm on my hips. Today I’d gone for my sexiest swimsuit, leaving the majority of my chest and my waist bare, and practically nothing to the imagination. But his reaction had been priceless; the flare of heat in Connor’s eyes as he’d spied it for the first time was enough to totally make it worth the purchase and hassle of getting my parts and pieces to stay inside the designated triangular sections. His longing made me feel sexy and frisky, so much so I hadn’t been able to wear the bikini for too long before Connor was stripping it off me again.
“I was thinking about how much I enjoyed all of it.”
He gave me that slow, sexy coy smile of his and leaned down, his lips brushing mine. “Me too,” he mumbled against my lips. “For a moment there, I thought you were having second thoughts.”
I shook my head, my fingers dancing across his bare shoulders. “You’re turning pink,” I replied, putting into action some evasive moves to get out of answering. I wasn’t having second thoughts, concerned more about what was going to happen next. I bit my tongue and scolded myself. Live in the moment. Stop overthinking it!
But I knew I was going to have to give him up in a few days and the thought had my insides all twisted up. I didn’t want for it to just be a holiday fling, but my head was telling me to be realistic. He was a superstar, and I was a nobody. It wouldn’t work. He needed someone like Crystal—well, a better version of her—to be on his arm, someone he could show off and not be ashamed of. Sure, here in the privacy of our little hut and slice of heaven where there were no cameras, it fitted together. But this wasn’t reality. So what that we were great in bed? And I suspected the lurch in my heart whenever I looked at him had nothing to do with lust and everything else to do with that damned other L word.
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