“Thanks for coming to get me,” I finally said as we headed towards my house on the beach, the roads virtually empty. “I have a feeling I’ll need a lot of cabs over the next few months.”
“You’re welcome,” Jay replied, turning toward the beach. “And I’ve already taken care of a car service for you. I got you a driver, housekeeping, and your chef will double your meals.” He then grinned, looking over at me briefly. “And I have you the hottest nurse to take care of you. Well, she isn’t really a nurse if you get my drift… She cost me a pretty penny too but you’ll enjoy looking at her. You’re welcome.”
“You’re an idiot,” I replied, hoping he was joking, but knowing him he probably wasn’t.
“Gotta look after my boy,” he said with a shrug.
But there was only one woman I was dying to see, a woman who had been suspiciously absent the last few days since I’d come out of surgery. If she had been there, she hadn’t shown her face. And I couldn’t help but wonder why. One meeting was not going to be enough and I was determined to hunt her down and lock her in my house with me until we sorted through this relationship of ours.
Jay pulled up to my house and opened the gate, pulling the car through and parking it behind my car. I had never been so fucking excited to see my own house as I was at that moment; I was so tired of the hospital, and though they took excellent care of me, I couldn’t say I was sorry to see it in the rear view mirror. Here I could kick back and relax while I tried to figure out the rest of my life. And with my arm not at one-hundred percent, I was vulnerable to all sorts of problems. The team could trade me, get rid of me and write me off. But without football, I wasn’t sure what the hell I had. I knew one thing, I wasn’t going to sit on my ass and wallow this time, I was going to fight for at least one thing; one woman.
I reached over with a wince and opened the door with my good hand, unfolding out of the car. My arm was starting to throb again and I hoped that whoever the hell this nurse was, regardless of her medical training, she had my pain meds at least. I was looking forward to knocking myself out for a few hours before I started the search for my disappearing wedding planner. I followed Jay up to the front door, allowing him to open it before stepping across the darkened threshold. “Shit, it’s good to be home.”
“There’s food in the fridge,” Jay said as he flipped on a couple of lights. “I left a calendar in the kitchen of all the appointments you need to go to—don’t even think about skipping your rehab appointments—and there’s the phone numbers of all of the people I told you about as well. I’m sorry, but I promised that I’d take Polly away this weekend or else I’d bunk here myself.”
“Nah, man I appreciate everything you’re doing for me,” I replied, clapping him on the shoulder. “You know I don’t have many friends that would step up like this and you’re more than an agent to me. You’re family.”
Jay looked at me and then burst out into laughter. “Dude, you must be on some killer meds, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
I shrugged, the mere movement causing my shoulder to blaze with pain. “I’m turning over a new leaf. This is the softer side of me. Fucking get used to it.”
Jay shook his head, chuckling as he walked to the door, turning back to look at me. “But I appreciate it, you idiot. Polly and I think a lot of you too. Anything you need you let me know. We’ll get through this together!”
I nodded a goodbye as he shut the door behind him, leaving me in the relative silence of the house. God, it was good to be home. I was looking forward to some quiet time, watching the ocean, away from the media and trying to figure out the mess that my life had become. It was like I was in the twilight zone.
Sliding my feet out of my loafers, I walked barefoot into the kitchen, where the calendar and a few bottles of medication were lined up on the granite island. Fucking Jay. I was really going to owe him big time after this.
“Do you need help reading your bottles?”
Whirling around at the familiar voice, my jaw dropped to the floor as I saw April in the doorway, dressed in a simple t-shirt and pair of pajama shorts, her hair mussed. “Sorry, I fell asleep waiting on ya’ll to get here.”
“What are you… why are you?” I started as she walked toward me, a cute sleepy smile on her face. Apparently I wasn’t going to have to do any searching. She was right here in front of me.
She bit her lip. “It was Jay’s idea. You were going to need someone to take care of you and I’m without a job at this point in time. Are you pleased?”
I crossed the room as her words faltered, using my good arm to gently pull her close until her face was inches from mine. “Damn,” I whispered, looking into her eyes. “I am definitely going to have to buy Jay something extremely expensive now.”
APRIL
I held my breath as his scent wound its way up my nose, my heart pounding against my chest, doing its best to break free. I had missed him so much over the last few days, thriving on the information that Jay had supplied to me in bits and pieces. After my confrontation with Crystal, I’d decided it was the best thing to stay away, to not muddy the already murky waters. The media had swarmed the hospital to the point where it had been a struggle to get out of the place the day of his surgery, and not wanting to draw any unwanted attention I’d left. But it had had nothing to do with Crystal’s words. Unlike her, I was going to prove that Connor was capable of love. You just had to be patient, and hard though it was, you had to forgive too.
When Jay had texted me about Connor’s needs once he got home and offered me a position to care for him, I had hesitated. Any sane woman would’ve! It wasn’t because I didn’t want to see him, be around him; it was because I thought he needed someone more qualified to take care of him. But Jay had told me that of all the people Connor would want to see, I was probably the most important one. And really, there wasn’t much to the routine; make sure he took his pills—Jay warned me he might try to go without—and keep him from doing anything stupid. It wasn’t like I was going to be injecting him with meds or performing lifesaving surgery on him.
“Trust me,” he’d said. “Connor will be ecstatic to see you. Hell, he might even give me a bonus.”
Now, if there was any indicator from the way he was holding me so close against him, I actually believed that Jay was right. He knew his friend awfully well to predict this.
Connor leaned down and brushed his lips over mine, the sizzling heat spiraling down my spine at the contact. God, he smelled so good. I’d forgotten just how good. “Where the hell have you been, April?”
“I-I had my reasons,” I gasped, wrapping an arm around his waist and giving him a hug, afraid to let him go lest this be a dream. If it was a dream, it was one I had no intentions of waking up from. “I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.”
“God, I hope not,” he said, his breath tickling my hair. “I take it you’re my nurse?”
I heard the amusement in his voice and smiled a little myself, my cheek resting right against his heart. “I’m going to try to be.” No other woman was getting her hands on him right now.
“Sponge baths and all?”
I laughed, pulling back from the hug to look at his grinning face. “You’re so crazy.”
“Crazy about you,” he said softly, releasing me. His face contorted then and he gripped his shoulder lightly. “Can you get my meds for me, April? Jay’s driving was horrible.”
Reality crashing down on the tender moment, I hurried to count out all of his pills, already separated in the pill sorter for each day.
After I had arrived here, I’d gotten the meds sorted, but after that there hadn’t been much else to do because the place was spotless, apart from a few dents in the walls, which had left me puzzled. Connor had a beautiful house on the beach, the kind most people could only dream about, and as I waited for his arrival I had restlessly flitted from room to room, taking myself on a mini-tour before pulling back; not wanting to pry more than I already
had.
Sticking to the main rooms, I straightened up and flipped through the channels on TV, finding nothing exciting to watch, my nervousness of being in Connor’s house getting to me. Finally, I’d retired to one of the guest bedrooms and fallen asleep reading a steamy romance novel, still waiting for them to show up. But now he was here and I was about to give him whatever he needed to be on the road to recovery. And hopefully, he in return would open up… and tell me what I so desperately wanted to hear.
Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, I handed Connor the pills and watched as he took them in one go, guzzling the water before setting it on the counter. “I think I need to lie down.” He looked tired and pale. I could get pills and food and whatever else Connor needed but I couldn’t help him if he had something more serious going on. What the heck had I been thinking?
“You’ll have to tell me if you think you’re going to pass out or if I need to get you back to the hospital.”
“I’m fine, just tired. But I will, I promise.”
I helped Connor down the hall to his bedroom, a gorgeous room with a sweeping view of the ocean through the glass wall that covered one length of the room. I’d checked out this room earlier, immediately dubbing it Connor’s by the way his scent carried and lingered. It was by far my favorite and I could see why Connor had chosen it for his bedroom. Who wouldn’t want to wake up to the ocean every morning? The adjoining bath also had the continuation of the glass wall, a wide tub positioned in the perfect spot for the best soak ever.
“Your house is beautiful,” I said as Connor stopped before the bed, gingerly easing himself onto it with his head propped up on the pillow. “You should be very proud.”
“I am,” he replied with a yawn, “you know why I bought it, though, don’t you?”
I tilted my head at him and nodded. It no doubt reminded him of the island… our experience together.
“Come on, get in so I can get some sleep.”
“I’ll be in the other room if you need me,” I stammered, ignoring what he’d said. Sleeping in the same bed? That would lead to other things, other things we couldn’t do at the moment and not because I didn’t want to, but because of his shoulder and of course due to the mess we’d created. No, he needed his sleep and I needed answers first. I wasn’t about to fuck first and ask questions later—not again.
His eyes drooped as he patted the space next to him with his good hand, a frown on his face. “I said get in the bed, April.”
I rubbed my hand over my face and bit my lip, trying to decide what was for the best.
“I sleep better with you beside me.”
My feet were moving to the other side of the bed before I even knew I’d made a decision. There was no reason to argue with him and I slipped in between the soft sheets. I could tell that he was exhausted and I was feeling the same pull of sleep as well. Pulling up the covers over my body, I sighed inwardly as the bed conformed to my body. His bed was much more comfortable than the spare. Contentment washed over me as I reached for him and lay my hand on his stomach, smiling as he covered it with his own. “I’d give anything to hold you right now,” he said softly, his fingers tracing the back of my hand gently. “I’ve fucking missed you, April.” The emotion in his voice was real and it warmed my heart. He sounded earnest.
“Get some rest Connor,” I said gently, tears coming to my eyes. “We can talk in the morning.”
33
CONNOR
Despite the lull of sleep from the pain meds I had scarfed down, I could barely sleep. April’s hand was warm on my midsection, her soft snores making me break out into a grin. A nurse, she was my fucking nurse. I was going to owe Jay something massive for this. He couldn’t have gotten me anything better to get me on the road to recovery and back to the game than having April by my side while I did it. I was so fucking happy that she was here, in my bed at the moment, though I did wish it was under different circumstances.
What I wouldn’t give to roll over and just slide into her, wake her up from her sleep with an orgasm to shake the house off its foundation. But I couldn’t support myself with one arm, and despite the heavy need to take her, I was going to have to wait.
With a frustrated sigh, I looked up at the ceiling, the first rays of the sunrise starting to peek in through the windows, signaling another day. God, I needed her so much right now, to have her warmth surrounding my cock as I drove into her. It was like pure fucking hell that I had to lie here and think, not act. She was finally at my side and I couldn’t do a thing about it. So what could I do? What was going to be my course of action? I couldn’t sway her with my suave bedroom skills, not that she hadn’t already seen them, nor could I whisk her off to another exotic location so that we could be alone again, away from the hoopla that was surrounding around our lives. I had to show her how I wanted her completely, to show her that I needed her to stay with me a helluva lot longer than just my rehab stint.
I had to show her what she meant to me.
“Aw hell,” I whispered, a realization coming over me.
I loved her.
It was the purest thought I’d ever had, and I knew without question it was true. I wouldn’t be able to survive without her. It boggled my mind that I actually loved someone for the first time in my entire adult life.
I waited for the happiness to turn sour, the suffocating feeling in my chest that would have me charging out of the bed and running away. But it never came. Instead I had this warmth infusing through me, a feeling that made me wish I could wake her up right now and tell her that I loved her, that she had my entire heart for what it was worth.
Was this how love really was? I wanted to protect her, shelter her, love her. It was actually a really good feeling, one I’d probably been denying for a long while, come to think of it.
Her fingers shifted on my mid-section and I stilled them, running my hand over hers softly. I loved her. I still couldn’t believe it. For years I had ran away from true commitment, not wanting to end up like my parents. I’d thought that it was ridiculous that people could actually commit to just one person and stay with them for the rest of their lives. Reality, in my experience, hadn’t allowed for that.
But what I was feeling right now sure felt real. I could see myself next to April while we popped out a few kids to spoil rotten, her at my side at night curled up in my arms in this bed. Her and the kids coming to visit me at the stadium before a game like the majority of the team’s wives and kids did now. I could feel it, see it, taste it. And I fucking wanted it.
Looking over, I watched her as she slept, my mind churning at the possibility that I could do this. I could keep her happy and satisfied for the rest of her life. Now, I just had to get her to believe me when I told her. My track record was going to be a limitation and I was going to have to come up with something pretty spectacular for her to believe that I really meant what I was going to say to her.
Feeble words, or another half-assed proposal certainly wasn’t going to cut it. I needed something really fucking good.
34
APRIL
A barrage of sound assaulted my ears as I awoke to the banging of pots and pans. Disoriented, it took me a moment to figure out where I was. Connor’s home. And I was supposedly his nurse while he recuperated from his shoulder surgery. Turning over, I squinted at the clock before jumping out of the bed, realizing I had slept past ten. Some nurse I was!
I hurried toward the noise as I attempted to pat down my wild bed hair. I found Connor in the kitchen, a few pans on the stove as he swore at them, frustration on his handsome face. “Connor, what the hell do you think you are doing?”
He turned around, a grin spreading over his face as he looked at me. “Good morning, sunshine. I wanted to fix breakfast. The chef left me granola and yogurt this morning, but since I’m not following his damn starvation diet, I wanted to eat eggs and bacon.”
I walked over to the stove and took the bowl of whisked eggs out of his hand, shaking my finger at
him. “You are supposed to be resting, Mister. I need for you to go back to bed.” He gave me a rueful grin, leaning down to brush his lips over mine.
“Not a chance. I can’t lie around waiting for my shoulder to catch up with me, babe. I got things to do.”
“You do?” I asked, my head slowly spinning over his closeness. I loved the fact that I was here, having a conversation with him in his kitchen like we were a couple just waking up on a Saturday morning. It was beyond nice. He nodded and kissed me again, stepping back so that I could look at him. He was gorgeous, still dressed in the clothing from yesterday, his hair tousled from sleep. Even with the circles under his eyes his face was still handsome, devilish even, and I felt that warmth starting to spread throughout my body. “Well, if you have things to do,” I started, placing the eggs on the counter. “Then we need to get you into a fresh change of clothes.”
He grinned and ran a hand over his hair. “Yeah, well, besides breakfast, I’ll need your help with that. I can’t get this damn shirt off.”
I smiled and grabbed his good hand, dragging him toward the bedroom. “Come on, let’s get you dressed. Then we can eat.” My mouth went dry at the thought, remembering a few times where I had undressed him in paradise but for very different reasons. Those times had ended up with us in the bed, rolling around in the sheets.
“I think I want to shower,” he said as we entered the bedroom. “Will you help me with that as well?”
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