by Teri Terry
I should have believed Kai when he told me, and I ache with knowing it too late.
“Did you always know I was your father, even that first time we met in Edinburgh?” Xander asks.
“No, not then. Mum told me just before she died.”
“Ah, Moyra,” he says, and there is real pain on his face, through his aura, to know she has died—even after so long. “But why didn’t you tell me I’m your father before now?” he says.
Lots of reasons: Mum. Kai. Callie. The death of millions. But I don’t get a chance to say any of it.
CHAPTER 33
KAI
A VOICE CALLS through the pounding rain behind me, and something lifts inside—is it Shay, has she followed me?
But it’s Freja.
I keep walking through the trees, already soaked to the skin. The sky is just starting to lighten behind the clouds, some watered-down version of dawn that gives almost enough light to see the path at my feet.
She catches up. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know.”
“That ex-stepfather of yours is a piece of work, isn’t he?”
“Huh.”
“Don’t let him play you.”
“What?”
“He deliberately made you angry so you’d leave, can’t you see that? You’re doing exactly what he wants you to do.”
“But she believes him. Shay believes him!” And the fury and pain surge through me again.
“Does she? It looked to me like she was challenging him all the way, finding out what she could, but she never once said, ‘Yes, Alex, you’re right,’ did she?”
“Maybe not, but why the hell didn’t she tell me before that he was the one behind Shetland? It’s kind of big. It didn’t just slip her mind.”
“Honestly, Kai, cut the girl some slack. She survived having a bomb dropped on her head yesterday. She might have made it look easy, but I’m guessing it wasn’t. And two of her friends—Spike and Callie, or whoever she really was—died in front of her. She’s been in shock.”
I stop and turn to Freja. She’s momentarily lit up by a flash of lightning—she’s soaked now too, her short hair, half red and half blonde at the roots, is plastered to her skin. She’s shivering and telling me what’s what—stuff I should have been able to work out for myself.
I thunk my head with my hand. “Bloody hell. You’re right.”
“Of course I am.”
“You’re a good friend,” I say. I almost go to hug her, but then my arms fall back, not sure if I should.
But if she notices that, she ignores it. She grins. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
“Do I go back now with my tail between my legs to beg forgiveness from Shay and to try to take another swing at Alex?”
“Sounds like a plan. Come on.”
She links her arm in mine, and we take a step in the right direction: toward Shay.
But then there is light—
Sound—
A massive blast fills the night.
We dive into the trees.
CHAPTER 34
SHAY
SOUND FILLS THE NIGHT, and it takes me back to the house, to the bomb, to Callie/Jenna, and I curl up in terror. It is a moment before I come back to myself enough to realize it isn’t here—it’s somewhere in the distance.
Elena’s hand is on my shoulder, and she helps me to my feet.
Now Xander is in the center of a group of Multiverse, and everyone is talking at once. Their words start to penetrate:
“We have to get out of here now.”
“Can we take off in this weather?”
“Without lights?”
“We can if we have to.”
Then they are rushing, running, doing things to the small plane in the hangar.
Finally I manage to get Xander’s attention. “What’s happened?”
“We set an explosive device on the access road the way we came,” Xander says. “It’s been tripped. A remote camera confirms that it’s SAR. Somehow they’ve followed us; they’re coming. That’ll only slow them down.”
“But where is Kai? Is he all right?”
“Kai and Freja are being watched by one of us. They’re fine. They’re on their way back here now.”
The big hangar doors are opened, and we’re pelted with wind and rain. The darkness isn’t complete anymore; dawn is coming, but it is limp and weak.
Xander turns to me. “Decide now. Join us. Together, we can change the world.”
I’m staring back at him. He’s deluded to think I would want to change the world the way he does, or that I’d want anything to do with him after all that he’s done, just because of an accident of parentage. But I hide my feelings down deep.
What about your other daughter? I ask him, silently. Where is the real Callie?
There is hesitation, uncertainty, in Xander’s aura—something not often seen there. Finally he shakes his head. We have to build trust between us for me to answer you. Come with us and find out.
I have to go with him. Don’t I? I’ll never find Xander again if he doesn’t want me to, and he’s the only one who knows where Callie is. And Kai didn’t believe me about Callie and Jenna. The only way I can show him the truth is to find her.
Alex holds out a hand and though I’d rather strike out, I reach out and take it. In the midst of the chaos around us, he smiles. Then he reaches into a pocket, and a necklace dangles from his fingers.
It’s gold, with a model of an atom hanging from it: just like the one the real Callie was wearing when I saw her in the woods—the day she disappeared.
“Allow me?” he says, and I lean forward while he does up the catch. An atom slips cool against my skin.
CHAPTER 35
KAI
“CAN YOU SEE WHAT’S HAPPENING?” I say.
Freja unfocuses and is silent a moment, then comes back. “It’s the road. There’s been a blast a few miles from here, the way we came. I think it’s SAR. They’re pulling bits of trees and other debris out of the way and will be heading this way soon.”
We run back through the trees to the hangar just as everyone is scrambling onto the small plane. Shay is almost up to the steps; she turns and sees us.
Alex is next to her, a hand on her shoulder.
“Ah, there you are, Kai,” Alex says. “Are you coming with us? If not, you’re just in time to say goodbye.”
“Let her go!”
“My daughter is free to come or go as she chooses. She has decided to come with us.”
“Your what?” I’m sure this is some trick of Alex’s, but then I look at Shay, wait for her to tell me it’s a lie, but she says nothing.
Her expressive face is all dismay, guilt.
“Shay? Is this true? Is he really your father?”
She shrugs helplessly. “Yes. He is.”
“Is this something he’s told you? Don’t believe him.”
But she’s shaking her head. “No. Mum told me.”
“What?” I stare at her in shock.
“She told me just before she died.”
“You’ve known all this time, and you didn’t tell me?”
She doesn’t answer—what can she say? No more secrets—we agreed. Okay, there may have been some things she didn’t have the chance to tell me, but she’s known Alex was her father since her mother died. All that time we were alone together, traveling to Shetland, and there too. There were plenty of chances.
And that’s not all. She stands there, about to leave with him, after she promised to never pull a disappearing act again.
This can’t be true.
It can’t.
But I see it there, in her eyes—confirmation. Eyes that are pleading for forgiveness; her mind reaches for mine, but I push her away.
“Are you going of your free
will?” I say.
“Yes,” she says. “I’m sorry.” But along with regret her eyes are saying something else.
She tries again to reach me inside, and again I push her away. What is there to say when she’s already decided to leave? With Alex. Her father.
“Then go,” I say.
I turn my back to her and walk away.
CHAPTER 36
SHAY
KAI WON’T LET ME IN: I try again and again, even resort to attempting to force myself into his mind, but somehow he blocks me.
We’re in the plane; Elena, Beatriz, and Chamberlain, too. We’re leaving Kai and Freja behind to fend for themselves. Xander says they’ll be fine, that they’ve got enough time to get away in the car he gave them—that SAR will assume all of us left on the plane. That they’re racing away in the other direction from the airstrip even now. But I’m still scared for them.
I climb into a seat, feeling like the world has gone wrong, as if gravity has reversed. I’m in slow motion—stuck in thick syrup—each step a crime against nature, a betrayal. Each step is in the wrong direction: away from Kai.
Kai? I try again, unable to stop myself. They shouldn’t be out of range yet, but still there is no answer.
Freja is with him. Can I reach her?
Freja?
Her mind is like ice.
Please listen to me.
Why should I? Do you have any idea how much you’ve hurt Kai?
I fight the tears that threaten. You don’t understand. I’m just pretending to join Xander and Multiverse. I’m going undercover to find Callie. Please tell Kai! I can’t—he’s blocking me. Tell him to come after me and his sister.
Freja is uncertain. Are you sure it wasn’t Callie who was with us all along?
Yes. It wasn’t her; it was another girl, Jenna, who’d taken on Callie’s identity. We were linked before she was destroyed: I know she told the truth.
And do you truly believe that the real Callie is still alive somewhere?
Yes. And that this is the only way to find her. Tell Kai. Please.
Freja is thinking, considering, keeping her thoughts locked away. Finally she comes back.
Okay. I hope you find her. Take care.
CHAPTER 37
KAI
I CAN’T STOP MYSELF. I slow down and look back just in time to watch the small plane disappear on the horizon.
I can’t get my head around this. Alex is Shay’s father? How could she have kept that from me for so long?
How could she leave with him?
After everything we were to each other. After everything I did to find her.
The pain is giving way to anger—anger is better. Anger is safer. But maybe not when I’m driving; I accelerate on the wet road more than I should and almost lose control.
“Kai? I’m so sorry.” Freja is still here, forgotten, at my side, and I slow down to a safer speed.
“I don’t understand how she could go with that man after all he’s done,” I say. “She tried to speak to me in my mind, but I blocked her. I was too angry to listen.” I should have listened.
“I know—she told me.”
“You spoke? Tell me what she said.” Now there is hope inside that there is some reasonable explanation like the one Freja had for me earlier; one that will make everything all right again.
“I asked her if she knew how much she was hurting you. And…” Freja hesitates, and I glance at her. She’s looking away from me now like she’s afraid to say any more, and my hope slips away.
“Whatever it is, tell me.”
“I’m sorry, Kai, but she said she needed to go to be with her father.”
I grip the steering wheel so hard my hands ache and my knuckles go white. “How could she trust him? Not just because he caused the epidemic. I’ve told her about him; things he’s done to me, my family.”
“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because she lost her mother that she needs to try to build a relationship with her dad. No matter who he is, he is still her family.”
Alex is her family. I’m not, not in any sense of the word; not anymore. She’s made that clear. She’s made this choice, and there is nothing I can do about it.
“That’s not all,” Freja says. “I know you know Alex and what he is capable of. How he somehow twists things to make everything happen the way he wants. And he sold it to her, Kai. The whole superiority complex; that survivors can change the world and make it better. That they don’t belong with ordinary people. Like you.”
“That just doesn’t sound like Shay.”
Yet how well did I really know her? She knew Alex was her father and never told me. How could she do that? She knows how I feel about Alex.
Maybe…that’s why.
The anger is bleeding away, and I fight to get it back; I need it. But I still can’t believe that Shay is really gone. It feels like something is missing from all of this, some reason that will make everything make sense, make the Shay I knew be the same girl who has left me now.
The same girl who has left me again.
But Freja is here; she hasn’t left. She’s only here at all because she was trying to help me find Shay, and I let her. I knew it wasn’t right, but I took advantage of her feelings for me—feelings that I wasn’t returning.
Even though I wanted her. Being alone with her when Shay was so far away—well, it wasn’t always easy to remember that Freja was just my friend.
And here she is still, trying to help me understand what can’t be understood.
She doesn’t deserve how I’ve treated her.
“Thank you,” I say, leaving for what unsaid. There is too much to say.
“It’s okay,” she says.
We drive on in silence. The sky is starting to clear, the sun peeking through.
I don’t know where we’re going, beyond getting as far away from SAR as we can. As to what comes next, this now goes way beyond just getting the truth out about the cause of the epidemic: I want—need—to tell everyone what Alex has done. Expose him to the world for what he truly is.
Beyond that I can’t think past what has happened—Shay keeping secrets from me, telling me these crazy things about Callie; Shay leaving with Alex. It’s like I’m standing on a line drawn by my feet, and on one side there is before this happened, and on the other is after. The two aren’t connected in any way that makes sense.
Before, everything was about finding Shay. Saving her.
Loving her.
And after? What now?
There are too many questions I can’t answer.
I’m here, Kai. I’ll help you, Freja whispers in my mind, and her hand touches mine.
CHAPTER 38
SHAY
I GRIP THE ARMS OF THE SEAT as the plane lurches again, then drops. As if we’ve fallen through a trapdoor to another world, we fall and fall; my stomach drops along with my body, then slams back in place as we jerk back up again. The turbulence from the storm matches the fear and pain inside me—fear that has nothing to do with falling out of the sky.
Can I trust Freja to be in my corner? I didn’t know her for long, but I know she helped Kai find me, that she’s his friend. All I can do is hope that Kai listens to her, that he understands why I had to leave.
That he sees I’m doing this for him, to find his sister.
Where is Xander taking us? Will Callie be there?
I go back in my mind to the moment that brought Kai and me together—that chance sighting of Callie in the woods in Killin, in a world that has changed beyond imagining since then. Just like I have.
I see her in my memory: a living, breathing girl, walking up the steep hill in the woods. Her long dark hair; blue eyes that widened with alarm when she heard my voice, then calmed when she saw me. I wish again, so much, that I could travel in time; that I could stop her from walking to t
he road and getting into that car, never to be seen again.
I can’t go back and change what happened. But I will her to be alive, and well, as she was then—as if me wanting something enough can make it happen.
I will make Xander trust me, and I’ll never let him see what I plan to do. I will find Callie, and take her back to her mother and Kai.
It somehow seems right that the girl who brought Kai and me together in the first place should do it again now.
Callie, wherever you are, whatever has happened to you: hang in there. I’m coming.