She returned with the water and a cheerful, “Here you go.”
Thanking her and taking a grateful gulp, I lost myself in the build because, otherwise, I might lose myself in her, and that wouldn’t be wise. Not now. Not ever.
She watched me put things into neat piles and picked up the instructions. The sweet scent of her—fresh citrus and something flowery—filled my nose. After a look at the parts, I knew I’d need Allen wrenches.
I stood up, and she stared up at me with a worried look in her eyes.
“Need to grab my tools,” I said.
A wicked light twinkled in her eyes, and a smile crept across her face. “I have tools, too.”
“I’m familiar with my tools, so I’ll just go grab them.” As I left the room, I heard her huff that I used to be familiar with her tools. I couldn’t hold back a grin even as my brain warned me this would not end well. I needed to be cooling things off, not letting innuendos and thoughts of kissing fire me up.
Leaving the house, I hurried to my truck and grabbed my toolbox before heading back. Max was filling a mailbox across the street and gave me a wave. I nodded and lifted the toolbox as if that was a good enough excuse to be at her place.
He winked, which told me he wasn’t fooled for a second.
Inside, I found her right where I left her, but now she was sprawled out on the floor, reading the instructions with a puzzled expression on her face. “Please tell me you understand these.” She handed me the page, and I glanced over the words and diagrams.
“Nope, not in English, but I build houses for a living. I mean, how hard can this be?”
She breathed a visible sigh of relief. “I’m pretty sure we don’t even have the right hardware.” Her fingers gripped the little bag, and I peeked into it. She was right, not even close.
“I have all kinds of spare parts, and we can work with what they gave us. We’ll figure this out.” I wasn’t the least bit worried. With quick hands, I moved wooden joints together and took her hands in mine. Showing her where to hold things, and ignoring the tingle of her touch, I worked screws into place. Within ten minutes, the basic frame was in place, and she let out a soft sound of surprise.
“That was fast.” She touched my hand as I held the shelf in place and bent over to fit the bracket where it belonged. The touch arced like electricity in me, and I tried to pretend I didn’t feel it as she inhaled.
I needed to get this done and get out of here before something happened that I couldn’t take back.
“Thank you for doing this.” She smiled at me, drawing my attention back to her full lips. There was something so inviting about her, so beautiful and enticing, and I wanted to lean in and kiss her, but kissing her wasn’t wise. “You’re welcome.”
With the last bolt in place, I picked up a rag she’d left sitting over a chair, wiped down the unit, and then set it upright. I scanned the room before glancing at her. “Where do you want it?”
She looked around the room. “I’m not quite sure.”
Something didn’t ring true as I watched her think. Just like at the store when she’d given me a couple of crap reasons why she hadn’t already set up the bookshelf.
The Kandra I knew could out lift some of the guys and would never shy away from hard work. She also never started a project she didn’t fully intend to finish quickly.
“What is the plan for this room?” I asked, thinking that might help her figure out where to put it. Standing up, I stretched my back a bit.
“Um,” she bit down on her lip. “I just need someplace to put my books.”
Again, something didn’t feel right about her answer. She was always a planner—except when grocery shopping—and that wasn’t a quality people just changed.
“How about over there?” I gestured to the right of the window, in case she decided she wanted to sit under the window to read. “You could put a comfortable chair under the window for the natural light and read.”
Her expression lit up. “I love that!” She bounced to her feet and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.
With her soft body pressed to the front of me and her lips too close for comfort, I struggled for control. Giving her an awkward pat on the shoulder, I tried to ignore how good her curves felt against me. I turned my head to study the spot. Meanwhile, I talked my body down from a potentially embarrassing reaction as her fragrance filled my lungs.
She let me go after what seemed like decades, and with an internal sigh of relief, I picked up the wooden shelving and moved it effortlessly to the spot.
“It’s perfect.” Her exuberant tone lifted my spirits even as I wondered if I’d ever really known her at all, but that wasn’t the truly troubling part. Despite knowing better, I wanted to get to know her again, and I was sure that made me a fool.
With the bookshelf in place, I turned to face her and found eyes lit with warmth and desire that hit me like a sledgehammer to the gut.
“Thank you again,” she whispered. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Despite that something’s not quite right feeling still churning in my gut, I nodded. “You’re welcome.” The unintentionally husky quality of my voice must have had a visceral effect, causing goosebumps to race up and down her arms. The hollow at the base of her throat bottomed out, and a visible shiver ran down her spine.
My eyes dropped to her perfect mouth again, then met hers once more.
Her lips parted, and her gaze searched my face as if I had the answers she needed, but I wasn’t even sure what the questions were. Something delicate in her expression took me back to the old days: Our first kiss, the first time I’d held her close, the sensation of her peach-soft skin on mine. I recalled how hard we loved, how easily we’d fallen, and how perfect she always felt in my arms. She looked at me like I was the piece missing from her life; she made me believe everything would be fine as long as I had her, and there were a million other little things that made me fall for her, and without thinking, I closed the distance between us.
She stood there with excitement flickering in her incredible eyes and watched me approach. I pulled her into my arms, and she looked at me as if asking what would happen next. I didn’t have words to offer because this wasn’t planned.
“Noah,” she whispered.
My name on her lips sent arousal bolting through every inch of my being, and I let out a little growl. Lost in memories, I lowered my lips to hers and swallowed her soft breath of surprise. My tongue slid along her lower lip. She whimpered and opened to me without hesitation.
My whole body responded to her, and my core tightened with lust. I strained against the front of my pants, every fiber of my being tensing.
She let out a soft moan of pleasure as my tongue swirled around hers, then ravaged her mouth.
Her arms slipped up around my shoulders, and she clung to me as if she’d fall if I weren’t holding her. I’d wanted to kiss her all day, but I battled those feelings.
This was a terrible idea, but we were adults. The heart wanted what it wanted, and right now, that was Kandra.
So what if she had hurt me? We could start over, start fresh, try again. This time, there’d be no secrets between us. I’d find out exactly what she needed, and we’d figure out how to build something together because I wanted Kandra in my life.
It was stupid to think I could fight this, and I was done trying.
She was mine.
Chapter Fourteen
Kandra
With his lips on mine, he scooped me up. After a small squeak of surprise, I wrapped my legs around his hips as he carried me toward my bedroom. He pushed the door open with his elbow, and seconds later, lowered me onto my bed. Clinging to him, I gasped as he broke the kiss.
His weight pressed between my thighs while delicious sensations spread like liquid warmth through my core. Staring up into his earnest eyes, I sensed his hesitation. Was he waiting for me to tell him something?
A nagging thought that I needed to tell him the truth fill
ed me, but I couldn’t form the words.
“Do you want this?” he asked gently.
His need for my consent made my heart swell, and I nodded. “I do.”
The second the words left my lips, he leaned in and kissed me again. My hands flattened to his abs, and the sensation of steel under smooth skin sent my heart into overdrive. His tongue tickled my lips, and I opened for him as I slid my hands up his chest, pulling his shirt up with them.
He broke the kiss and yanked it off. With him leaning over me, powerful and restrained with white-hot passion in his eyes, I couldn’t breathe. He captured the hem of my shirt, and I wiggled and raised a few inches as he slipped it over my head and flung it on the floor.
He stared at me for a heartbeat, then another. Worry began to creep in. Could he tell?
“You’re beautiful.” With that growl, he lowered and kissed my throat, my collarbone, my shoulder. I clung to him, loving the heat of his skin on mine.
“I’ve missed you so damn much.” His lips came back to mine, but only for a second before tagging my chin, my jaw, and finally tickling my earlobe.
“You’ve always been the one for me.” The tip of his tongue traced the hollow at the base of my throat, and my heart thundered so hard I could hear the pulse in my ears. It was so loud I worried I wouldn’t hear the next thing he said. I wanted to absorb every word, sop up every bit of love, and inhale every sweet thing because I’d been desperately missing love like this. Noah never loved me in halves, or bits, or pieces. He’d loved me whole; the good, the bad, the shameful. He loved me when I failed, and when I was at my best, he just loved me.
He kissed down my belly and slipped off my pants. His fingertips brushed lightly up my thighs, along my hips, and he pressed his mouth to my stomach. Over the spot between my hips, he gave a gentle little love nip that brought an army of goosebumps to life. I loved that he was in charge, that he was so focused on me, that I felt like the center of his world.
He kissed his way up my stomach again, making a little circle around my belly button that brought a smile to my lips. I studied his serious face and ran my fingers through his hair.
This was what I’d missed, his absolute worship. Nobody had ever loved me as Noah had. Nobody had ever been so engrossed in me.
He lifted his head and flashed a sexy, heated smile. “What’s that grin for, love?”
My heart melted, and I struggled against my emotions. “You.”
He let out a low sound deep in his throat and lowered his head again. His tongue tasted the vee between my ribs and then kissed the line between my breasts until he was back at my lips.
I opened for him without hesitation. The heated length of him brushed my inner thigh, and I quivered in excitement.
Our bodies fit together like we were made for each other. Despite our need for one another, Noah was gentle, kind, and loving with every motion, every movement, every touch.
He broke the kiss, and I groaned.
“Are you okay?” he whispered into my ear.
I nodded, unable to trust my voice. But it was a lie; I was better than okay. I’d never been so good in my life.
“I’ve missed you so much.” I wound my arms around his shoulders, and his brilliant gaze locked on my face. “I am so sorry I hurt you all those years ago. I know they say the grass is greener on the other side, but that couldn’t be further from the truth, and I had no idea what I would be missing when I left. From that moment I said no, I knew I had made a mistake, but I also knew I couldn’t just come crawling back like nothing had happened because the pain I had caused was too much. I tried to forget you—forget us—but you never forget where your heart is. I did the best I could to move on, but once I came back, I realized that I had spent the last ten years living someone else’s life, while my life was here, with you.” I regretted it with every fiber of my being. “I know I can never fix it—”
With a soft sound, he kissed me again, cutting off my words. When he finally released my lips, he pressed his forehead to mine. His breaths washed over me as we moved together in unison. “I forgive you. We were young when you left, and I now understand why you did. It took me the entire time you were gone, but I realize now, you just needed to find yourself. You said you aren’t the same person now as you were then, and I see that. I know the time away was just as hard on you as it was me. But I think we both grew during that time, and the fact that you came back to me lets me know we are right where we are supposed to be.”
My heart raced. “Are you saying—?”
“I don’t hate you. I never hated you.”
Heat engulfed my chest as he moved gently, flooding my body with incredible sensations and loving warmth. I breathed a sigh of relief at his words. Everything was right in the world. Being with him, even after so much time had passed, felt right. Being in his arms was like coming home, and there was nowhere I’d rather be.
“I never stopped loving you,” I whispered the words, and he planted a quick kiss on my lips.
“I never stopped loving you either.”
I couldn’t hold back my joy; it spilled forth and found a home on my lips. I must have looked stupid, smiling like a fool, because he chuckled and gave me another quick kiss.
“You’re incredible, and I’m glad you’re finally home.” His whisper warmed me, and I held him tighter. I finally found where I belonged—in his arms, and I never wanted to leave again.
Every touch pushed me closer to the edge as I clung to him, desperate for purchase. He lowered, bringing his heated skin to mine. My eyes closed, indulging in the sensation of his weight on me, his skin on mine, and the sheer love pouring between us as he moved.
“I don’t want this to be a onetime thing.” His words sent a delicious thread of delight through me. “I need you in my life and want you by my side.”
I wanted all the same things. “Yes, please,” I whispered, still worried my voice would give out. The threat of tears—happy-everything-is-perfection tears, not sad tears—loomed close, and I blinked to keep them back. I refused to cry.
His lips met mine, and I kissed him back, desperate for the closeness. Our tongues danced as our bodies moved. As the sensations and excitement built in me, my core wound tighter and tighter, building toward the promise of release.
“You’re mine,” he growled, and I whimpered in agreement. I wanted to be his. I wanted his brand of loving, his kindness, his protective nature. I wanted everything about Noah Lockhart. With every motion, every word, every gentle kiss he planted on my lips, I wanted more, needed more. I needed him—all of him.
And as his body moved, my hips rocked harder, demanding more while soft whimpering sounds of pleasure escaped my mouth. His teeth gently scraped my neck, and then his velvety lips tickled my earlobe again. The sensations crashed over me, taking my ability to think with them.
He lifted to look me in the eyes once more, then planted a quick kiss on my lips. “You’re so perfect,” he murmured, not even bothering to remove his lips from mine. Him talking so close tickled my mouth, and my heart slammed hard against my ribs. So hard, I wondered if he could feel the thumping.
My vision blurred, and dots of color danced behind my eyes as pleasure washed over me.
Noah held me close, his words sinking into my cells. “I’ve got you. You’re okay.”
I knew I’d be okay as long as he held me. He would keep me safe, and I’d always be loved. Everything would work out.
With his warm skin on mine, locked in the safety of his embrace, I let myself go in a way I’d never been able to do with anyone else. Lost in emotions, I enjoyed the rapid climb to the top, and then the slow, intense drop that ended with him shuddering in my arms. Clutching him, I reveled in how he warmed me up from the inside out.
For a second, I could pretend everything was perfect. I could imagine I wasn’t lying to him. I could act like I hadn’t let this happen without telling him the truth.
He moved beside me and held me close. With his powerful arms arou
nd me, I tried not to get stuck in my head, though my thoughts spun around. Did that really just happen? I knew I’d messed up badly, and I wasn’t sure if I could come back from this mistake.
“Did you mean it?” I whispered, needing to know where I stood and hoping for some internal guidance on what to do next. Maybe he didn’t mean it. It could have been pillow talk.
But did that make what I’d done any less terrible? Almost hating myself, I pressed a palm to my forehead as he lifted on one elbow and smiled down at me.
“Every word. Didn’t you?” The hopeful excitement in his eyes made me ache all over.
I nodded, my throat closing up so tightly tears sprung to my eyes. I had also meant every word, but things were complicated.
Why wasn’t I honest from the start and tell him the news that first day? I held it back like it wasn’t anyone’s business but my own.
“I did everything I could to stay away from you.” His fingertips trailed up and down my side while his eyes followed their movement. The tickling sensation gave me tingles, but I loved the feeling. “I couldn’t do it.” Affectionate eyes met mine. “It’s always been you, Kandra. I knew it, and my brothers knew it. I was just too stubborn and pigheaded to admit it to myself or anyone else.”
A smile tugged the corners of my lips. “You? Stubborn? No.” Even my light teasing fell a little bit flat, but he still chuckled.
“I know. I’ve been trying to work on it.” He seemed to study my face for a moment, and I knew he could see I still had some secrets. We always had a way of reading each other. Looking away, I tried to keep my heart from breaking. It was all so perfect, so beautiful, but so utterly hopeless. I’d screwed us up before we even had a chance all because I hadn’t been honest from the start.
“I’m not in a hurry. There’s no rush. I’ll be here when you’re ready, even if you need some time.” His loving words told me he had no idea what was going on, but his message and kindness put a crack in my heart because he was wrong. He wouldn’t be here when I was ready, because I betrayed him.
Broken Hart (A Cross Creek Small Town Novel Book 1) Page 9