“Dave? I thought Paul would be a better fit.” Ethan sounded genuinely surprised.
“Great, guys, talk about me like I’m not here. I’m not getting married, and I’m not whipped. Clearly, if you pick someone to replace me, it’s Greg.” No contest, Greg would be the perfect stand-in for me at the table.
“Greg…” Both of my brothers said his name as if suddenly seeing the light while Bayden made a low sound that told us he wasn’t enjoying the conversation.
“What’s eating you, brother?” I asked Bayden.
“Not the same person eating you.” Quinn moved past me, shaking excess water from the colander on my head. He hurried off when I turned his way, knife in one hand, potato in the other.
He tilted his head, a goofy grin on his face. “You’re scarier with a potato, just so you know.”
“I could kill you with a potato,” I said before glancing at Bayden again. “Anybody know what’s up with him?” I asked in a lower voice as he left the kitchen.
“Maybe he has the Angie itch? Or is it Miranda?” Quinn’s joke earned him a disgusted grunt from Ethan. We returned to our stations and continued getting dinner ready for Mom.
For a long time, she’d made these dinners, but several years back, we’d decided she worked too hard during the week to also have to make our Saturday family dinner, so we took over. We started simply enough by helping in the kitchen. Within a month, we booted her out, and now we made family dinner for her. That’s what being a family was; everyone taking care of each other, not having Mom take care of everything while we did nothing.
This week, Quinn made the salad, Ethan made homemade mac and cheese, and I made mashed potatoes. Bayden was in charge of a slow-cooked brisket he started at home. He’d take the meat juices and make a gravy out of it for my potatoes if I didn’t beat him to it. Comfort food, the things Mom made us when we were kids. This close to the anniversary of Dad’s passing, we all needed comfort.
“Have you guys … you know?” Quinn’s question made me want to punch him in the face.
“Why do you want to know that, you weirdo?” Ethan asked, finally taking my side on something.
I wanted to thank him but had a feeling he wanted to know too.
Quinn shrugged. “I don’t. I just want to see how mad I can make him. I mean, this is Kandra. It’s momentous. Our little boy has grown up and found a woman.” He draped his arms around my shoulders in a hug, and I shrugged him off.
“Noah met a woman?” Mom’s voice filled the kitchen, and both my brothers tensed.
“I, uh, have to use the restroom.” Ethan’s eyes moved from me to Mom and back again before he slipped out the door toward the hallway.
Quinn stood frozen in place as if standing still would make him invisible to our mother. She crossed her arms and looked at both of us.
Quinn inched sideways. “I’ll let him tell you about it.” With that, he rushed out of the kitchen while I glared at his retreating back.
In the empty kitchen with my mother, I tried to think my way out of the situation like a young boy might consider talking his way out of having taken a cookie without permission.
She studied me carefully; her expression filled with warmth, love, and understanding. But I knew she remembered how hurt I’d been when Kandra left. I swore then that I’d never let her hurt me like that again, and yet, here I was, acting the fool for her.
But it was different this time, wasn’t it? We were adults and had grown as people do when they mature. This time I’d be more careful to guard myself against her leaving.
“Not really,” I said, and it was mostly true. I didn’t meet a woman. I’d known Kandra for a long time, but I wasn’t ready to discuss this with Mom because she’d want answers, and I didn’t have them.
Hell, I wasn’t ready to discuss it with anyone for that matter, not that that stopped my brothers from tormenting me every chance they got. I couldn’t blame them because we all messed with each other, and I knew they cared about me even if they annoyed the shit out of me.
I turned back to the potatoes. As I peeled the last one, Mom gathered the others into a stainless steel mixing bowl and carried them to the sink. The water running into the bowl as she rinsed them made me want to remind her that this was my task—not that she’d let me bully her out of the kitchen.
I moved to her side and dropped the last potato into the bowl. Giving her a one-armed hug around the shoulders, I gently nudged her with a bump of my hip, and she stepped aside while I took the bowl from her. As the water filled the bowl and overflowed into the sink, I waited for her to say something—anything.
Instead, she stayed quiet and moved back to the counter, took out a cutting board and knife, and set them out for me. With the rinsed potato bowl in hand, I carried it over toward the cutting board while waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Does this have something to do with Kandra being back in town?” Her quiet question hit me like a dart. Every muscle in my body tightened. I wasn’t eager to have this conversation.
I carefully cubed potatoes and put them into the stockpot. What could I say? I wouldn’t lie to my mother, but how could I explain our relationship when I didn’t understand it myself?
“It’s complicated.” That was the best explanation I could muster. I shifted, hating being put on the spot. I silently reminded myself to make sure to put Quinn in the hot seat the first chance I got.
“Are you thinking about seeing her again?” Mom leaned against the counter next to me as I carefully sliced through a halved potato.
I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. Like I said, it’s complicated.”
To my surprise, she didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she wound her arms around me. “I love you and matters of the heart are always complicated.” She rose on tiptoes and pressed a kiss to my cheek before leaving the room while calling out for Quinn in her you’re in trouble, mister voice.
I sighed and leaned against the counter. Maybe it should have been confusing or difficult, but it wasn’t. Being with Kandra felt right. Perhaps it was stupid to jump back in given our past, but I wanted to trust that things would be different, that we could make us work.
Was that such a far-fetched idea?
With the table ready and all the delicious comfort foods set out, we took our seats.
I glanced at Dad’s spot as memories of him laughing at one of our terrible jokes came to mind. Memories of him talking to us about our day. His gentle approval at our good grades; his disproval of Bayden getting into a fight. Though he agreed Bayden did the right thing by standing up for himself, he’d also said he wished my brother could have resolved the issue without violence, but he’d been quick to say he understood not everything could be easily solved.
My moment of silence went unbroken, and I realized everyone was thinking about him. Quinn spoke up first. “Remember that time he made a mask out of a paper plate and tried to scare us with it?”
I remembered the diversionary look over there he’d done that made us all look away, and when we glanced back, he had a painted paper plate covering his face. Quinn had jumped, but the rest of us laughed.
“Yeah, he scared you.” Ethan’s voice held a hint of humor and an edge of agony and loss.
We’d talked about the girls we liked, the philosophy of life, and everything big and small. Dinner was forever quieter without him.
Mom’s eyes misted over, and she blinked while staring straight ahead. Her hands balled up on either side of her plate, and she seemed to be looking past us at something we couldn’t see. Without thinking about it, I stood up and walked over to her. Winding my arms around her, I spoke softly. “I love you.”
She patted my arm. “I love you, too.”
A moment later, Quinn’s arms came around her, and Ethan followed suit. Bayden covered her hand with his, and we hugged as a group.
She let out a light sniff and a little laugh. “I think I heard your stomach growl.” She looked at Quinn.
“Let’s eat before the food gets cold. It looks and smells delicious.”
We broke apart and retook our spots. As we passed food around the table and loaded up our plates, Quinn started in on Bayden. I breathed a sigh of relief that he was off my back for now, though, I felt bad for Bayden.
“Have you asked her out yet?” Quinn elbowed Bayden, who shrugged him off and took a bite of mac and cheese.
“Has he asked who out?” Mom watched both her sons closely while I dumped gravy on my potatoes and noticed the sparkle in Ethan’s eyes.
Quinn continued to stare at Bayden while he answered our mother. “He’s in love with the new sheriff.”
“I’m not in love with her.” Bayden elbowed Quinn in the ribs, and his twin let out a pained exhale.
It didn’t even slow him down. “Oh, no? You let her walk around on the job site.” Quinn grinned, and I found I wasn’t the only one who noticed that out of character move. Bayden was safety-minded and didn’t let anyone walk around our construction sites.
“We’re building the new police station. It’s not that weird to let Miranda tour it.” Bayden shoved a bite of mashed potato into his mouth, though his sullen expression told everyone he knew they were onto him. His gaze slid to me, and he quickly swallowed.
“Besides, weren’t we talking about how he and Kandra are back together?”
Quinn froze, Ethan stopped chewing, and Mom’s head swiveled in my direction. Bayden’s eyebrows lifted as if he only just realized he’d called me out in front of Mom. His silent apology didn’t save me from the spotlight, though, and I wiped my mouth calmly with my napkin, took a sip of my water, and casually picked up another bite of food.
“We’re not together, but it’s interesting how desperate you are to deflect attention away from you and the new sheriff, especially with how hard you stare at her every time she comes to Roy’s.”
Quinn sucked in a deep breath as his smile broadened, and Bayden’s eyes narrowed. I shoved the bite of mac and cheese into my mouth. Get out of that, Bayden.
Chapter Eighteen
Kandra
My phone rang, and I raced into my room to grab it off the bedside table. “Hello?”
I’d been wandering around the nursery trying to wrap my head around this whole pregnancy thing. I was going to be a mom. Sometimes it just struck me, and I couldn’t hold back a smile.
“Good morning.” Noah’s deep voice filled my ear, and I sighed.
“Is it still morning?” I teased.
“It’s eleven.” His humorous, slightly defensive tone made me laugh. “But I waited until it was this late to call you. I wanted to see if you’d have lunch with me, or maybe we could grab a beer?”
I giggled, totally ready to turn his words back on him. “It’s eleven in the morning, who has a drinking problem now?”
“Oh, look at you being all judgy.” He chuckled on the other end, but I could sense he was waiting for my response.
“I’d love to go to brunch with you.” As I said the words, something occurred to me. “Wait, is this a date?”
“Well, I guess it is.”
“Although I just realized I have something to do at one.” I thought about Max’s gift. I’d done all the legwork to make sure it would be safe, but I worried our brunch could run long.
“Are you blowing me off?” He didn’t sound mad, merely curious.
“No, but I have this coupon a friend gave me to go riding.”
A second ticked by. “Does this friend happen to be Max?”
How did he know? “Actually, yes, why?”
“Because he got me the same thing, and I have a ride scheduled for today at one too.” His dry tone didn’t hint to his thoughts, but as it sank in, I remembered the way Max had spoken to me, and the thoughtful gift he’d given. It was for the same barn where I had my thirteenth birthday party, and all the beautiful memories tied to the place came rushing back when I opened the gift.
“He tried to parent-trap us.” I breathed the words as tears tickled my eyes. It was so sweet and devious of him. “Want to go do that, then grab a bite to eat?”
“Sure. I can’t believe Max. He knew it would force us to spend time together if we were too stubborn to admit our feelings for each other, or it would end up being a date.” He laughed on the other end of the line, and I enjoyed the sound.
“I wondered why it was a private ride. Now I know it’s because it’s just supposed to be for the two of us.” I needed to thank Max next time I saw him. “If we’re going together, I need to get ready.”
“I’ll call and see if we can show up early.”
“Oh, Margie will be fine with that, if she’s still running the place.” Margie was a fantastic old cowpoke of a woman, tough as nails and gritty as they come. She’d have been right at home in the wild west alongside the cowboys, though I bet she could outride, outshoot, and outspit them any day.
“I’ll double-check.” With that, he was gone, and I smiled all the way to the bathroom.
I hadn’t ridden a horse in so many years, and I’d taken the time to do a ton of research to make sure it was something I could do pregnant. Everything seemed safe, as long as I didn’t fall. I was confident that riding a horse was like riding a bike—you didn’t forget. We weren’t going to do anything extreme. Likely, it was just a trail ride, which was slow and safe.
We rode past a house on the creek where we played as kids. The Crafts had owned the property for as long as I could remember. Mark Craft had been a buddy of Noah’s and always invited him to hang out. “Do you remember tossing me in the creek?”
“Yep. I also remember you getting me back and pulling me in when I tried to help you out.”
I laughed. “It was only fair. If I was getting wet, so were you.”
“It took me ten years, but I got you back.”
I knew he was talking about the showerhead fiasco that wasn’t a disaster after all because it was a step in getting us back together.
As we passed the house, I noticed the realtor’s sign in the window. “I can’t believe the Crafts sold the place.”
Noah turned his horse, and we headed back the way we came. Our hour was almost up. “They got older and couldn’t keep up with the house. Besides, Mark got married and had a baby, and they went to stay with him in California to be closer to their grandchild.”
The vacant house pulled at my heart. So many sacrifices were made for love. “It was a great house to raise a kid in. Hopefully, a nice family will buy it and fix it up.”
“It definitely needs a lot of work, but you’re right, it would be great to see it brought back to life.” He looked over his shoulder as we moved farther away. “This is a playground for kids with the creek, the treehouse, and the large yard.”
My stomach growled. “Race you back to the stables. I’m starving.”
Noah didn’t need my challenge. He took off like a bee running from a swatter while I cantered back to the stables. As soon as we turned in our horses, we headed straight for the diner.
Once in the parking lot, Noah raced to my side and picked me up out of his truck. I laughed as he cradled me to his chest outside the diner. This was part of what I missed about being with him. Noah never skimped on affection.
“Thank you for going with me. It was fun.” I looked into his eyes, and my heart beat a little too fast. I was falling in love with Noah all over again. The boy had grown into a man, and I was sure we’d grown into each other, not out of each other.
“Are you ready to eat?” he asked, gently setting me on my feet.
I nodded. “I’ve got a hankering for fluffy waffles with whipped cream and strawberries drowning in blueberry syrup.”
He stared at me for a second. “You’re walking into Dottie’s, home of the most famous pancakes this side of the world, and you’re ordering waffles?”
“You can pretend you don’t know me,” I joked, slipping my hand in his as we walked toward the door.
“I might have to,” he muttered
, laughter in his eyes.
As we made our way to the entrance, I realized I didn’t care if the town gossip saw us holding hands. I didn’t care if the world knew Noah and I were together again. The only thing I considered was making sure I told him the truth. By the end of our date, Noah would finally know I was pregnant.
I hoped there would be an easy way to do it. That there would be some natural way to ease it into the conversation. I could apologize for not saying anything. Maybe if he knew I wasn’t telling anyone, not even my mom, it would make a difference. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be mad if he knew I wasn’t hiding it only from him.
He squeezed my hand. “You seem lost in thought.” We stopped in front of the door, and he gently turned me to face him. “Are you okay? Feeling sick?”
I shook my head. “No, not feeling sick, but we do need to talk.” Way to ease in, Kandra.
“Oh, we will talk—over pancakes.” He opened the door and motioned me inside; no hint of worry or concern at my ominous words.
“I’m getting waffles,” I said over my shoulder as I stepped inside and headed for a table by a window that looked out at the mountains. The dark-green trees and pretty view set the tone as Noah joined me.
He chuckled as Dottie came rushing over. “Hey kids,” she said, her smile on high beam as she hovered.
“Hi, Dottie. I’d like pancakes, please.” He eyed me as if he could mad dog me into getting pancakes, and I laughed. I loved his easy humor and his hardline stance on my choice of breakfast food, though I knew it was all in fun.
“I’d like waffles with whipped cream, strawberries, and blueberry syrup, please.”
She nodded. “And to drink?”
“He probably wants a beer, he has been talking about it since breakfast,” I said quickly before asking for a Sprite. I avoided his stare and tried not to laugh at Dottie’s expression. Clearly, she knew I was poking fun at him.
“ID please?”
His eyes widened. “Are you kidding?”
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